Thank you for all of your reviews:
Mianne: Yes, I know that my character is a complete Mary Sue. I'm trying to change that. I can't really change the fact that she is beautiful because I can't immediately say that a huge zit appeared on her forehead and her hair became all stringy and disgusting and her face got all wrinkly. Yeah...well read on and maybe you can see that I'm trying to give her some flaws.
Outlaw Eris: I know Marianna's dad is really evil. Hehehehehe. I like writing about evil people. I hope I made him seem mean enough.
Black Pixie: Well, I already emailed you about your wonderful review, but still thanx for those tips. You really made me realize my flaws and I hope my story is becoming better because of you.
Sugarsprite: I know I hate commas too. They get on my nerves, sometimes I just stick them anywhere I feel like putting them. Lol. So, update your stories, I love them so much!
Fiery Greaseball: Thank you for your review. (P.S. I love your penname).
Lucky-Racer: Ah yes my consistent reviewer. Thank you so much for every review you gave me. About the no-food-in-prison thing, well ya see, this was a "special prison" and I think King John is cruel enough to not give prisoners any thing to eat.
Stallia: Yes, yes I know. I wouldn't consider my story very original. I'm sorry, I just felt the writing vibes.( Ummm...about the eye color, isn't hazel a greenish color? I think hazel is a mixture of green and brown. Well anyway, I'll change the color to green, because I think that's more suitable for Marianna. Also, I know I wrote about Marianna's beauty so much, maybe too much, I'm really sorry, I guess I wasn't paying attention about how repetitious I was. I promise with all of my heart to not write about her beauty anymore. (At least I made it stick into your mind).
Ruby: Thank you for your review. About the grammatical problems, my computer didn't correct any grammar errors, but maybe you can tell me where these problems are. I know I'm having issues with stupid quotes. Do you have to put a punctuation mark before the quotation, or a comma? Grrrr, so please tell me where these errors are. About the "beauty issue" read the answered review above. I just got really carried away, pleeease forgive me. And my character is a complete Mary Sue, no surprises there. I thing I'm into perfect people, because I myself am not perfect, but (thanks to black pixie) I am going to change that. You can see the change in Marianna in this chapter, but it's gonna be slow, because I can 't jump right into making Marianna totally unperfect (Is that a word?). I will change the stuff about Marianna being beautiful and perfectly enchanting after she was in prison. How could I have been so stupid? (I have a question for you: How can Marianna go to the bathroom after not having anything to eat or drink?)(
Kaylajo: I will most definetely write more about love.
Allison: Thanks for the review. About the grammar, my computer did not detect any grammatical errors, but if you can tell me some I promise I will change them. Enlight me! (I love saying that). I looked up conquests and it has two meanings. The first one is when your conquering a place or something and the second one is related to dating. So the meaning of conquests can be used in both ways and well, I meant the first one.
Chapter 8
Working For a Mad Man
It was three days since Marianna's recovery and she was expected to cook the morning meal. Early morning sunlight seeped through the tent's material and made a pool of gold on her face. She groaned, lifted the soft blanket off her still sleepy body and clambered out of bed. They would have to let her take a bath. Dirt was caked layer upon layer on her face. Her stringy hair was soaked with sweat and she just felt dirty. She pulled on a simple dress that was lying on her bed put on a brown apron. How are you suppose to tie these stupid aprons anyway, Marianna thought to herself? She agreed with a small bow in the back and tied a long piece of leather into her unruly hair.
"A cook," Marianna muttered to herself, "He expects me to be a cook. For God's sake I don't even know how to cook!"
She pulled on some tough leather shoes and shivered as the coarse material of her dress rubbed against her legs. Taking a deep breath, she stepped outside of the tent and the smell of smoke swirled around her from the campfires. Marianna made her way to the largest fire as pairs of eyes from the men followed her with silence. Occasionally a man would whisper and scattered snickering would spread among the men as she walked by. Marianna straightened her shoulders and glared at the men. Robin Hood was lounging lazily on a boulder with his eyes closed. When Marianna came upon him, he immediately opened his sky-blue eyes and smirked. He pointed a finger carelessly at a bag of oats and said,
"You can use that bag of oats to make some gruel, the stream is nearby so you can get water. Oh, and don't think about running away, girl, there are people watching you." The fact that men would always be watching her created a flicker of anger in Marianna.
"And where is the pot?" Marianna snapped sharply, her temper rising ever so slightly. Robin Hood raised an eyebrow and pointed wordlessly to a huge black pot residing beside the slowly burning fire. Marianna grasped a large gray pail and walked towards the direction of the stream, aware of the sound of soft footsteps following her. Once she got to the stream, her breath caught at the beauty of her surroundings. Great pine trees and oak trees towered over the crystal blue stream that wove in gentle waves. Grass and plants tickled her ankles and a slight wind frolicked against her hair.
"Beautiful isn't it?"
Marianna jumped in surprise at the sound of a person's voice beside. The man was kneeling beside the spring while rubbing a smooth rock between his fingers.
"Yes, it is quite beautiful," Marianna said cautiously.
"Oh sorry for not introducing myself. I'm Little John." Marianna looked at his towering figure and suppressed a laugh.
"What are you doing here?"
"I doubt that you would think that I was just enjoying the view. Robin Hood sent me here to watch out for you, you know make sure you don't run away or something." Marianna stiffened as she heard Robin Hood's name and nodded slightly. She put the pail into the stream and water began to fill up the pail. The man beside her still sat there looking at her, he seemed very keen on conversation. The stupid man expected her to talk to a person who followed her every footstep.
"So your name's Marianna?"
"Yes." It seemed that the only words in her vocabulary was "yes" and "what are you doing here?"
"Did you live close by here?"
"Yes," she lied.
"Do you know Prince John?"
"No, I was only a lady at his court. I have never actually seen him," she lied. Little John looked at her in a strange way and she quickly walked towards the fire.
After 5 pails of water and Little John's consistent questioning there was only a small thread of patience left in Marianna. John's last question finally broke her shred of patience.
"Why were you in prison?"
"I was admiring the rats!" Marianna shrieked loudly. She turned her heel and poured some oats into the black pot that was now stationed slightly above the burning fire. How much was she supposed to put in, Marianna thought to herself miserably? She wouldn't dare ask Robin Hood or she would die of humiliation. She wiped her hands on her apron and pushed back a piece of stubborn hair. The stupid oaf of a man, Little John, was still standing there glancing occasionally at Marianna's attempts of cooking. The fire cackled gleefully as if mocking her and she picked up a long stick nearby to stir her concoction. Little John then spoke up warily,
"So let me get this straight. You are one of King John's ladies of the court and your father was a general of John's army. You have two brothers, who are knights, and a sister who is married to the Duke of Torms."
Of course most of what he said were Marianna's made-up lies, she still nodded her head. She wanted these men to know that people of high rank would come after her, maybe that would scare these men into handing her in. If she had told them that her father was a drunk from a small town and she had seven sisters, her chances of being given in were as small as a piece of string. Her porridge began to bubble slightly and Marianna frantically wondered if this was supposed to happen. A sharp, pungent smell began to rise from the pot and she quickly ran toward it yelling breathlessly to Little John that the food was ready. The moment she said "food," men began to run from their tents and line up by Marianna. A ladle was thrust into her hand and the first man held out a wooden bowl. The man had a jagged scar running across his ruddy cheek and his hair was a dirty red. She cleared her throat and scooped up some porridge from the pot. This was when she saw how her porridge came out. Instead of the expected golden brown color of porridge, it was a dark brown that floated mournfully in the man's bowl. Little pieces of black rested at the surface of the watery porridge, which seemed to be more water than porridge. Amazingly, the man didn't look at her concoction and Marianna thanked the Lord fervently. The next man was a gaunt fellow with thin blonde hair and pale gray eyes. The man gave a watery smile as if expecting her to bend down at her feet and beg him to take her back home.
"The name's Peter," he said gently, as if talking to a child. Marianna nodded her head and the guy turned a slight shade of pink. He gave her his bowl and she dumped her "porridge" into his wooden bowl. Suddenly a shout of disgust rose from the man that she had just served before Peter.
"You call this food?! What the bloody hell is this stuff? The girl doesn't even know how to cook."
Marianna clenched her hands as her face turned white. Robin Hood slipped out mysteriously from the woods that surrounded the clearing and walked lazily to the man who started yelling.
"What is happening here," he asked smoothly as if he was the only person in the world that could set things right.
"That girl that you found can't even cook. She lied to you!"
"She did, did she?" He walked toward a tense Marianna and stood in front of her, an ominous aura surrounding him.
"Now Lady Marianna, I could have sworn that you said that you could cook? Am I mistaken?" God, this man can be as cold as a fish, Marianna thought to herself. She then said shakily, "N-no, I can't cook."
"So you lied didn't you?"
"Well...I didn't know what you would do if I said that I couldn't cook," she yelled frantically. Robin Hood spat on the ground next to her and glared at her, malice and anger showing clearly in his eyes.
"Normans are all alike, they always lie to you and you can never trust them. They will stab you in the back if they have to. Normans only think about themselves and what would happen to them!" She wanted to yell at him, saying that not all Normans were like that. She wanted to tell him that he seemed just as filthy as the Normans he described, but all Marianna could do was look fearfully into the eye of every man that crowded around her. Not one of them had a drop of kindness in their eye. They would probably kill her in a second.
"I will give you one more chance and that's it, just one more. Don't displease me for you will have a painful death."
Mianne: Yes, I know that my character is a complete Mary Sue. I'm trying to change that. I can't really change the fact that she is beautiful because I can't immediately say that a huge zit appeared on her forehead and her hair became all stringy and disgusting and her face got all wrinkly. Yeah...well read on and maybe you can see that I'm trying to give her some flaws.
Outlaw Eris: I know Marianna's dad is really evil. Hehehehehe. I like writing about evil people. I hope I made him seem mean enough.
Black Pixie: Well, I already emailed you about your wonderful review, but still thanx for those tips. You really made me realize my flaws and I hope my story is becoming better because of you.
Sugarsprite: I know I hate commas too. They get on my nerves, sometimes I just stick them anywhere I feel like putting them. Lol. So, update your stories, I love them so much!
Fiery Greaseball: Thank you for your review. (P.S. I love your penname).
Lucky-Racer: Ah yes my consistent reviewer. Thank you so much for every review you gave me. About the no-food-in-prison thing, well ya see, this was a "special prison" and I think King John is cruel enough to not give prisoners any thing to eat.
Stallia: Yes, yes I know. I wouldn't consider my story very original. I'm sorry, I just felt the writing vibes.( Ummm...about the eye color, isn't hazel a greenish color? I think hazel is a mixture of green and brown. Well anyway, I'll change the color to green, because I think that's more suitable for Marianna. Also, I know I wrote about Marianna's beauty so much, maybe too much, I'm really sorry, I guess I wasn't paying attention about how repetitious I was. I promise with all of my heart to not write about her beauty anymore. (At least I made it stick into your mind).
Ruby: Thank you for your review. About the grammatical problems, my computer didn't correct any grammar errors, but maybe you can tell me where these problems are. I know I'm having issues with stupid quotes. Do you have to put a punctuation mark before the quotation, or a comma? Grrrr, so please tell me where these errors are. About the "beauty issue" read the answered review above. I just got really carried away, pleeease forgive me. And my character is a complete Mary Sue, no surprises there. I thing I'm into perfect people, because I myself am not perfect, but (thanks to black pixie) I am going to change that. You can see the change in Marianna in this chapter, but it's gonna be slow, because I can 't jump right into making Marianna totally unperfect (Is that a word?). I will change the stuff about Marianna being beautiful and perfectly enchanting after she was in prison. How could I have been so stupid? (I have a question for you: How can Marianna go to the bathroom after not having anything to eat or drink?)(
Kaylajo: I will most definetely write more about love.
Allison: Thanks for the review. About the grammar, my computer did not detect any grammatical errors, but if you can tell me some I promise I will change them. Enlight me! (I love saying that). I looked up conquests and it has two meanings. The first one is when your conquering a place or something and the second one is related to dating. So the meaning of conquests can be used in both ways and well, I meant the first one.
Chapter 8
Working For a Mad Man
It was three days since Marianna's recovery and she was expected to cook the morning meal. Early morning sunlight seeped through the tent's material and made a pool of gold on her face. She groaned, lifted the soft blanket off her still sleepy body and clambered out of bed. They would have to let her take a bath. Dirt was caked layer upon layer on her face. Her stringy hair was soaked with sweat and she just felt dirty. She pulled on a simple dress that was lying on her bed put on a brown apron. How are you suppose to tie these stupid aprons anyway, Marianna thought to herself? She agreed with a small bow in the back and tied a long piece of leather into her unruly hair.
"A cook," Marianna muttered to herself, "He expects me to be a cook. For God's sake I don't even know how to cook!"
She pulled on some tough leather shoes and shivered as the coarse material of her dress rubbed against her legs. Taking a deep breath, she stepped outside of the tent and the smell of smoke swirled around her from the campfires. Marianna made her way to the largest fire as pairs of eyes from the men followed her with silence. Occasionally a man would whisper and scattered snickering would spread among the men as she walked by. Marianna straightened her shoulders and glared at the men. Robin Hood was lounging lazily on a boulder with his eyes closed. When Marianna came upon him, he immediately opened his sky-blue eyes and smirked. He pointed a finger carelessly at a bag of oats and said,
"You can use that bag of oats to make some gruel, the stream is nearby so you can get water. Oh, and don't think about running away, girl, there are people watching you." The fact that men would always be watching her created a flicker of anger in Marianna.
"And where is the pot?" Marianna snapped sharply, her temper rising ever so slightly. Robin Hood raised an eyebrow and pointed wordlessly to a huge black pot residing beside the slowly burning fire. Marianna grasped a large gray pail and walked towards the direction of the stream, aware of the sound of soft footsteps following her. Once she got to the stream, her breath caught at the beauty of her surroundings. Great pine trees and oak trees towered over the crystal blue stream that wove in gentle waves. Grass and plants tickled her ankles and a slight wind frolicked against her hair.
"Beautiful isn't it?"
Marianna jumped in surprise at the sound of a person's voice beside. The man was kneeling beside the spring while rubbing a smooth rock between his fingers.
"Yes, it is quite beautiful," Marianna said cautiously.
"Oh sorry for not introducing myself. I'm Little John." Marianna looked at his towering figure and suppressed a laugh.
"What are you doing here?"
"I doubt that you would think that I was just enjoying the view. Robin Hood sent me here to watch out for you, you know make sure you don't run away or something." Marianna stiffened as she heard Robin Hood's name and nodded slightly. She put the pail into the stream and water began to fill up the pail. The man beside her still sat there looking at her, he seemed very keen on conversation. The stupid man expected her to talk to a person who followed her every footstep.
"So your name's Marianna?"
"Yes." It seemed that the only words in her vocabulary was "yes" and "what are you doing here?"
"Did you live close by here?"
"Yes," she lied.
"Do you know Prince John?"
"No, I was only a lady at his court. I have never actually seen him," she lied. Little John looked at her in a strange way and she quickly walked towards the fire.
After 5 pails of water and Little John's consistent questioning there was only a small thread of patience left in Marianna. John's last question finally broke her shred of patience.
"Why were you in prison?"
"I was admiring the rats!" Marianna shrieked loudly. She turned her heel and poured some oats into the black pot that was now stationed slightly above the burning fire. How much was she supposed to put in, Marianna thought to herself miserably? She wouldn't dare ask Robin Hood or she would die of humiliation. She wiped her hands on her apron and pushed back a piece of stubborn hair. The stupid oaf of a man, Little John, was still standing there glancing occasionally at Marianna's attempts of cooking. The fire cackled gleefully as if mocking her and she picked up a long stick nearby to stir her concoction. Little John then spoke up warily,
"So let me get this straight. You are one of King John's ladies of the court and your father was a general of John's army. You have two brothers, who are knights, and a sister who is married to the Duke of Torms."
Of course most of what he said were Marianna's made-up lies, she still nodded her head. She wanted these men to know that people of high rank would come after her, maybe that would scare these men into handing her in. If she had told them that her father was a drunk from a small town and she had seven sisters, her chances of being given in were as small as a piece of string. Her porridge began to bubble slightly and Marianna frantically wondered if this was supposed to happen. A sharp, pungent smell began to rise from the pot and she quickly ran toward it yelling breathlessly to Little John that the food was ready. The moment she said "food," men began to run from their tents and line up by Marianna. A ladle was thrust into her hand and the first man held out a wooden bowl. The man had a jagged scar running across his ruddy cheek and his hair was a dirty red. She cleared her throat and scooped up some porridge from the pot. This was when she saw how her porridge came out. Instead of the expected golden brown color of porridge, it was a dark brown that floated mournfully in the man's bowl. Little pieces of black rested at the surface of the watery porridge, which seemed to be more water than porridge. Amazingly, the man didn't look at her concoction and Marianna thanked the Lord fervently. The next man was a gaunt fellow with thin blonde hair and pale gray eyes. The man gave a watery smile as if expecting her to bend down at her feet and beg him to take her back home.
"The name's Peter," he said gently, as if talking to a child. Marianna nodded her head and the guy turned a slight shade of pink. He gave her his bowl and she dumped her "porridge" into his wooden bowl. Suddenly a shout of disgust rose from the man that she had just served before Peter.
"You call this food?! What the bloody hell is this stuff? The girl doesn't even know how to cook."
Marianna clenched her hands as her face turned white. Robin Hood slipped out mysteriously from the woods that surrounded the clearing and walked lazily to the man who started yelling.
"What is happening here," he asked smoothly as if he was the only person in the world that could set things right.
"That girl that you found can't even cook. She lied to you!"
"She did, did she?" He walked toward a tense Marianna and stood in front of her, an ominous aura surrounding him.
"Now Lady Marianna, I could have sworn that you said that you could cook? Am I mistaken?" God, this man can be as cold as a fish, Marianna thought to herself. She then said shakily, "N-no, I can't cook."
"So you lied didn't you?"
"Well...I didn't know what you would do if I said that I couldn't cook," she yelled frantically. Robin Hood spat on the ground next to her and glared at her, malice and anger showing clearly in his eyes.
"Normans are all alike, they always lie to you and you can never trust them. They will stab you in the back if they have to. Normans only think about themselves and what would happen to them!" She wanted to yell at him, saying that not all Normans were like that. She wanted to tell him that he seemed just as filthy as the Normans he described, but all Marianna could do was look fearfully into the eye of every man that crowded around her. Not one of them had a drop of kindness in their eye. They would probably kill her in a second.
"I will give you one more chance and that's it, just one more. Don't displease me for you will have a painful death."