Chapter 4: Mixed Up

Outside, Hermione was still searching for Ginny. She had searched all the hiding places she knew of, but to no avail.

'Ginny where are you? You're scaring me.'

'Ah Hermione, nice to hear from you. I have news darling. Soon enough, we will no longer share this gift as you call it. It's really more of a nuisance. I'll be glad to see my bond with you gone.' she said spitefully.

'Ginny, what do you mean? You're different. What's going on?' Hermione was worried, it was obvious in her tone how much she cared for Ginny. Just not enough to love her.

'Oh Hermione' she snapped, 'don't start acting like you care!'

'Ginny I do, I love you.'

Ginny's heart fluttered for a slight second before snapping still. 'Only as a friend. Only ever as a friend Hermione. You have no idea how much I hurt. How much I want you to feel this pain. I'm going to have to show you somehow. Maybe I'll-'

'Ginny. Ginny!' No answer. Their gift was gone. Hermione no longer felt Ginny's presence. She had to find her.

I couldn't help it when I started to cry, I've told myself that life's a lie.You know love sucks when your dreams slip away. I'd trade all my tomorrows for one yesterday. Yesterday when you liked me, or did you? Was I too confused and desperate for you to love me that I imagined it? Probably. I'm sorry Hermione. I don't hate you. How can I? I think it's best we don't see each other for a while. I know you probably, personally don't, but I do. And I'm leaving. I'm going to live with a friend for a while. Don't try to contact me. Our gift is no more. There's potion in the vial next to this note. Drink it. It'll make you not have the gift too. There's no point in you having it but not being able to use it.

Hermione picked up the vial of pink liquid. In a rage she threw it to the ground letting the glass shatter and the liquid run along the concrete in the shed. She had finally found Ginny's hiding place, but it was too late.

Don't be angry at me. I love you, more than you'll ever know. It hurts me so much to say goodbye to you. Even then, it's not goodbye is it? Cause I can never say goodbye when I still want to try, I can't give up cos I feel like I can take it. Ill never say I don't love you anymore, cause I can't let you go Hermione. You'll never understand. Never. You go on about how much you miss Harry, how you visited him last week and whatnot, do you ever think how much it burns my insides like acid when you say his name? He's the boy-who-lived, everyone loves him. Everyone notices him. He desroyed Voldemort for Christ sake! No one notices me. That's why I'm going. No point staying where I'm not happy. I'll always love you, please try to understand my pain. If you don't now... you will one day.

Ginny had left this note on a stool in the shed, the stool in which she had sat the previous night. Knowing Hermione could always find her, she prepared for it. Ginny had not actually gone to a friends, but the Leaky Cauldron. She had to throw Hermione off the trail because she knew she would come looking for her.

Three days passed. Mrs. Weasley was aware that Ginny had 'gone to visit a 'friend''. Ginny was legally an adult now and able to go where she wanted, so Mrs. Weasley didn't fret too much.

In room number 12 of the Leaky Cauldron Ginny sat on the edge of her bed. Hermione hadn't come. She wasn't going to either. Ginny couldn't figure out what was worse, Hermione not loving her and never would, or Hermione not bothering to come and find her. Maybe she should go home. Face Hermione properly.

After a wander around Diagon Alley which was bustling with Hogwarts students getting supplies for the new school year, Ginny packed her few items and went downstairs to pay Tom the innkeeper. She had had a good time milling around Diagon Alley, bumping into a few old school friends who naturaly asked how she was. All she could manage was a faint "I'm good thanks" and a weak smile which was of course believed. Sometimes Ginny wondered if she actually wanted to be believed, or if she wanted them to persist and ask what was wrong. But, she always did the same thing - lied.

A quick floo journey later, Ginny was stood in her own bedroom, not alone. Hermione and Harry were sat on Ginny's bed in deep conversation. Harry had his arm around an upset Hermione. At the sight of Ginny they both stopped talking and Harry stood up.

"Hey Gin. I'll give you two some time", he smiled before leaving. Oh, how much Ginny wanted to hate him. To blame him for Hermione's not loving her. But, in reality, it was no more his fault than Hermione's. It was just the way it was.

"What have you said to him?" Ginny asked sharply. "No-one knows how deeply I feel for you. I don't want anyone to know either, how pathetic you make me feel. Always following you around, stealing glances at you when no-one's looking yet you always catch me. I feel like a stalker. I just need to stop feeling strongly about you. It's the only way." she was in tears by now. Everything was seeming so real. The cold floor underneath her feet, the smell of clean sheets on the bed, and most of all, the wetness of her tears on her soft pillowed cheeks.

"Ginny, I'm confused right now. I've not been honest with you. I don't really like Harry. It wasn't him at my flat that night. Her names Rachel. I met her at college." Hermione said somberly, looking at the floor.

Ginny stopped crying, she looked at Hermione who looked so sad, yet inside, she felt sick.

"What?" she asked slowly. This couldn't be happening. It wasn't. No. She wouldn't believe it.

"I like her so much. We just have this connection I've never had with anyone before. But, I love you. I really hate myself sometimes." Now it was Hermione's turn to cry.

Ginny didn't move. She was rooted to the spot. She couldn't forve herself to move to comfort the older girl. The girl she was in love with. Feeling even more sick she spoke again.

"Hermione, just be honest with me. What's going on? It's not fair to do this to me." Ginny was getting angry again.

"I want to tell her how I feel, but I can't."

Ginny breathed in through her nose deeply. You're too nice to her. said a voice in her head. "Well, tell her how you feel then. I can see how you feel about her." It broke Ginny's heart even more to say this, but she was too nice. She just wanted to make Hermione happy. This was the way to do it, it seemed.

"Who said I was talking about her?" she said, looking up into Ginny's eyes.

(A/N: This WAS a situation I WAS in, but no longer. I liked it though so I kept it. Hope you enjoyed it. )