US I-70, Henry, 2014

"What makes you say that." I keep my voice steady. I add no inflection or surprise.

"I'm not stupid, Dad." She counters.

"I never said that, Noodle." And I haven't, because I didn't make stupid kids. All five of them are brilliant.

"I heard her voice, dad. And either I'm crazy or that was Mom. There are some other things too, since our trip to DC" There are tears in her voice. This is really not how I wanted to do this. There was supposed to be a metal health professional involved. Elizabeth and I were supposed to talk and come up with a plan. It was still going to be hard, but at least it would've been much more controlled.

"Allie… Yes, it was mom." I light the fuse. I grip the steering wheel tighter waiting for the bomb to go off.

"Okay." She sniffs and takes a breath. I see her nodding her head in my periphery trying to keep it together. I wonder when she got so big. When did she grow into a person who knew to keep calm during emergencies? When did she grow up?

"So are we going to get Stevie?" She asks me still sniffling.

"Yes, Noodle."

"Then what?" And I hadn't thought about that. Elizabeth doesn't know about Jessica. The kids don't know about Jessica, although I'm sure Allison is close to figuring it out. But I can't tell her that I don't know, that's not the way to lead my family through this crisis.

"One step at a time." I settle on. And she must believe that I have a plan, because she doesn't ask any more questions. She just bends forward and grabs the aux cord, plugging her phone in and turning the radio volume on low. And as the Bee Gees comes out of the speakers I know she is playing her Music Mom Liked playlist that I helped her make last year in Spotify. She rests her head against the window and closes her eyes.

*Iraq, Elizabeth, 2005

I can't breathe. It's been six months. I think. If I'm right, I have been married for sixteen years today. I'm supposed to be at home with Henry. In bed. I always feel so loved with him. If I were home, I wouldn't be laying on my side with my knees pulled up to my chest. Heaving for air after being kicked repeatedly. I deserved it, really. I know the rules now. I know I'm not allowed to cry. It ruins his fantasy that I'm here because I want to be. But I just missed Henry so much, and couldn't hold it in. Not today, not on our anniversary.

He's running his hands through my hair and I feel the nausea mix with the pain. It's the worst thing that he does. When he gets so gentle after inflicting so much violence.

Charleston, Elizabeth, 2014

I startle awake when a hand touches my shoulder. I recoil away from the touch pulling my legs up, protecting the rest of my body. I don't want to be touched again.

"Bess, it's me. You're having a bad dream." A dream? Yes, a dream I realize as my eyes come to focus on Isobel. But, it also wasn't a dream. It happened. It's been awhile since I've had a flashback dream. But it doesn't surprise me that it's happening right now. My stress levels are through the roof.

"What time is it?" I need to know how long I was asleep. I need to check in with Henry, make sure he has Stevie.

"A little after 2, you've only been out for a couple of hours." I nod at her. Trying to control my breathing and lessen the anxiety coursing through my veins. But it's not working, the emotion of current events mixing with the past. And right now the past is winning. I swear I can feel his hands on me.

"Bess, I need you to breathe, okay?" Isobel's voice is firm pulling me to the present and I draw in a deep breath.

"There you go. Do it again." And I do. I feel my heartrate start to normalize. And feeling returning to my hands that I didn't realize I had lost.

"I think you need to bring me totally up to speed now. We need a plan." She's right we do need a plan.

Georgetown, Henry, 2014

The phones ringing. I can't go into the dorms in the middle of the night. Normally I would be thankful for the safety rules, but right now it infuriating. I just have to call her and hope she picks up the phone and I'm on my third call.

"Hello, Dr. McCord." The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I look back at my sleeping kids and get out of the van.

"Who is this?" I put on my most threatening voice.

"I'd like you to hold for the President of the United States." They don't wait for me to reply, hold music filling the line and then a click.

"We have some things to talk about Henry."

"Where's my daughter, Conrad?" I won't waste time, I need to keep her safe.

"She's in the East Wing of the Whitehouse watching a movie with Harrison." I don't know if I believe him.

"It's true, Henry." Jess says from the background. I shouldn't have left her there. Of course she could get to DC faster than I. I'm sure she was able to get right on a plane.

"Why don't you make your way to the Whitehouse. The other children can join Harrison and Stevie and you and I can have a talk." I don't know what to do.

"Henry, it's not really a choice. There is a black Nissan Altima behind you. They are Secret Service and will be escorting you." I nod, although they can't see me. Conrad must know that I will do what he says, because the line clicks to dead air. I get back in the car and Allison is wide awake.

"What's going on?" She sounds as scared as I feel.

"We're going to the Whitehouse." I tell her trying to remain calm. But I think she knows more is going on. Allison has always been the most receptive one. She puts on a good show, pretending she doesn't care about things other than art and fashion. But she's an observer, always watching and reading the room.

"Is everything okay?"

"It will be." I promise her without knowing if it's true.