A/N: Please, please forgive the delays. I have been so completely engaged in reality that I haven't had time to type much. I suppose that soon I'll be posting exactly why I've been so distracted in a story. I won't post it under this name though. It'll be posted under the name "Red Velvet," so if you're interested, check it out. If not, then don't bother.
Oh, there's an Urkel reference in here along with a Crayola reference. I own neither. I don't own the Jerry Springer show either.
I really hope you guys can read this, cuz the site's real screwy right now. I love you all and thank you so very much for your comments.
***
Christmas morning. The Burrow. "Merry Christmas," a voice whispered in Ron's ear. Ron could tell without opening his eyes that it was still dark. Who could possibly want to wake him now? He buried his head under the covers. "Oh, come on. Don't you want to see what I got you for Christmas, Ronniekins?" Ron winced. He really hated that nickname, but then he smiled because only one person insisted upon calling him that. He opened his eyes to see Neville grinning at him with a bow on top of his head.
"Oh, look! A Neville! I've always wanted one of those!" Ron exclaimed, voice thick with sleep. He wrapped an arm around him and kissed him softly.
"I'm not your present. This is!" He presented Ron with a framed picture. The Chudley Canons peered up at him through their fingers, having covered their eyes to give Neville and Ron some privacy. Beneath the Canons were several signatures.
"Oh my goodness, Nev-" Ron's voice trailed off.
"You like it?"
"I love it. You shouldn't have."
"I know. You really don't deserve it, but what can I say? I've got a bit of a soft spot for you."
"That settles it then. I'm not getting you a Christmas present or a birthday present."
"Crank."
"It's three o' clock in the morning. What did you expect?"
"Let's start with a kiss and move on from there."
"Works for me."
The sun was rising by the time the boys got dressed and headed downstairs. "Do you really have to go?" Ron asked, kissing Neville again in front of the fireplace.
"Gran's expecting family. She's always up early and I want to be home before she misses me."
"Too late," a female voice said. Neville turned and all the color drained from his face.
"Gran!"
"Come along, Neville. We're leaving," she said sharply. From the look on her face she wasn't too happy. The vulture on her pointed hat seemed to quiver with suppressed rage.
"Yes, Gran," Neville said meekly. Ron didn't blame him for being intimidated. This woman looked capable of making Voldemort cringe.
"See you at school," he called as Neville stepped into the fireplace. Neville nodded slowly and vanished.
Christmas day passed as did New Year's and finally it was time to go back to Platform 9 3/4 to catch the train to Hogwarts. Hermione was there with her arm looped in Greg's as she chatted with Mrs. Goyle who was complaining about the fact that Voldemort had once again spoiled her dinner plans and reminding her son to watch over Hermione. "Harry will have his own problems," she added, stealing a glance at him.
Harry stood off to himself watching as Sirius disguised as Remus gave Draco some last minute advice. "I still don't trust you, but Harry loves you and if anything happens to my godson and you are in anyway responsible, I will hunt you down and..." Draco paled considerably and Harry gave him a reassuring smile.
Seamus was there along with Dean. *thwap* "Shut up, Dean!"
"No, this is too funny."
"Absolutely hilarious," Seamus added sarcastically. "At least I didn't lose my girlfriend to another girl." Dean stopped laughing immediately.
"That was low."
"Yeah, I know, but don't worry. Lisa will be sick of her in a week."
"How do you know?"
"She's Padma. Gorgeous, but too neurotic for me."
"Too young for you, you mean." *thwap*
"Ouch!"
"Now you know how I feel." Dean sobered up somewhat, until Bill passed by. Then he started cracking up again, at which point Seamus jumped him and a full-fledged wrestling match began.
No sign of Neville. Ron sighed and boarded the train, sitting in the first empty compartment he came to. Greg and Hermione appeared, followed by Draco and Harry. "Have you seen Neville?" Ron asked.
"No," they answered, puzzled.
"I thought he was staying with you," Harry said.
"He was, but then his brother showed up and he had to go home. I haven't seen him since Christmas."
"Maybe he's already at school," Hermione suggested.
"You're probably right," Ron agreed. But when they got to Hogwarts, Neville was nowhere to be found. Two days passed. Three. Four.
"I'm talking to Dumbledore," Ron said at breakfast on the fifth day. Later that morning he ran into Dumbledore, literally. "Headmaster! I was looking for you."
"Yes, Mr. Weasley? How may I help you?"
"Well, I-I was wondering about Neville. Have you heard anything about him? When does he come back?"
"According to his grandmother, he's not coming back. Mr. Longbottom has been transferred to another school."
*
"Well done!" Complete Chaos exclaimed, shaking Trouble's hand.
"Did I do all right?" she asked timidly.
"Marvelous, dear," Confusion assured her.
"We all were," Complication said.
"Oh please, that was pathetic," Depth said tossing her hair.
"Oh, go stand in a bird sanctuary or something. Maybe if we're lucky some magpies will be attracted to your tinfoil hair and carry you away," Pointlessness quipped.
"Take that back!" Complication demanded.
"I will not! Don't tell me you fancy *her*! Have you no taste, man?" His eye moved over Complication's robes. "Ugh, obviously not."
"Oh, yes and glitter boy over there makes a much better romantic interest," Complication returned.
"Why you-" Pointlessness lunged at him.
"Whoa!" Confusion called, stepping in between them.
"Get out of the way!" Complication told his cousin furiously.
"Bring it on, drool boy!" Pointlessness called.
"Up yours, bitch!" Complication replied. *crowd starts chanting*
"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"
"Who the hell is that?" Depth asked.
"Order! Order!" Order said apparating out of thin air. "If you two are going to fight, do it like civilized story elements."
"A duel then!" Complication said.
"Chose your weapon!" Pointlessness said.
"Permanent marker."
"Oh no!" Order objected. "We'll all pass out from the fumes!"
"Fine. Crayola washables at dawn," Complication said.
"Dawn it is," Pointlessness replied.
"This is trouble," Confusion muttered.
"Did I do that?" Trouble inquired. Confusion patted her arm.
"No, my dear. This one's the author's fault, not yours."
***
Oh no! What happened to Neville? How do story elements/literary terms duel? Who will win? Will Harry and Draco ever get a chapter in this fic? Find out on next chapter! Meanwhile, be kind and review!
Love always,
J. Silver
Oh, there's an Urkel reference in here along with a Crayola reference. I own neither. I don't own the Jerry Springer show either.
I really hope you guys can read this, cuz the site's real screwy right now. I love you all and thank you so very much for your comments.
***
Christmas morning. The Burrow. "Merry Christmas," a voice whispered in Ron's ear. Ron could tell without opening his eyes that it was still dark. Who could possibly want to wake him now? He buried his head under the covers. "Oh, come on. Don't you want to see what I got you for Christmas, Ronniekins?" Ron winced. He really hated that nickname, but then he smiled because only one person insisted upon calling him that. He opened his eyes to see Neville grinning at him with a bow on top of his head.
"Oh, look! A Neville! I've always wanted one of those!" Ron exclaimed, voice thick with sleep. He wrapped an arm around him and kissed him softly.
"I'm not your present. This is!" He presented Ron with a framed picture. The Chudley Canons peered up at him through their fingers, having covered their eyes to give Neville and Ron some privacy. Beneath the Canons were several signatures.
"Oh my goodness, Nev-" Ron's voice trailed off.
"You like it?"
"I love it. You shouldn't have."
"I know. You really don't deserve it, but what can I say? I've got a bit of a soft spot for you."
"That settles it then. I'm not getting you a Christmas present or a birthday present."
"Crank."
"It's three o' clock in the morning. What did you expect?"
"Let's start with a kiss and move on from there."
"Works for me."
The sun was rising by the time the boys got dressed and headed downstairs. "Do you really have to go?" Ron asked, kissing Neville again in front of the fireplace.
"Gran's expecting family. She's always up early and I want to be home before she misses me."
"Too late," a female voice said. Neville turned and all the color drained from his face.
"Gran!"
"Come along, Neville. We're leaving," she said sharply. From the look on her face she wasn't too happy. The vulture on her pointed hat seemed to quiver with suppressed rage.
"Yes, Gran," Neville said meekly. Ron didn't blame him for being intimidated. This woman looked capable of making Voldemort cringe.
"See you at school," he called as Neville stepped into the fireplace. Neville nodded slowly and vanished.
Christmas day passed as did New Year's and finally it was time to go back to Platform 9 3/4 to catch the train to Hogwarts. Hermione was there with her arm looped in Greg's as she chatted with Mrs. Goyle who was complaining about the fact that Voldemort had once again spoiled her dinner plans and reminding her son to watch over Hermione. "Harry will have his own problems," she added, stealing a glance at him.
Harry stood off to himself watching as Sirius disguised as Remus gave Draco some last minute advice. "I still don't trust you, but Harry loves you and if anything happens to my godson and you are in anyway responsible, I will hunt you down and..." Draco paled considerably and Harry gave him a reassuring smile.
Seamus was there along with Dean. *thwap* "Shut up, Dean!"
"No, this is too funny."
"Absolutely hilarious," Seamus added sarcastically. "At least I didn't lose my girlfriend to another girl." Dean stopped laughing immediately.
"That was low."
"Yeah, I know, but don't worry. Lisa will be sick of her in a week."
"How do you know?"
"She's Padma. Gorgeous, but too neurotic for me."
"Too young for you, you mean." *thwap*
"Ouch!"
"Now you know how I feel." Dean sobered up somewhat, until Bill passed by. Then he started cracking up again, at which point Seamus jumped him and a full-fledged wrestling match began.
No sign of Neville. Ron sighed and boarded the train, sitting in the first empty compartment he came to. Greg and Hermione appeared, followed by Draco and Harry. "Have you seen Neville?" Ron asked.
"No," they answered, puzzled.
"I thought he was staying with you," Harry said.
"He was, but then his brother showed up and he had to go home. I haven't seen him since Christmas."
"Maybe he's already at school," Hermione suggested.
"You're probably right," Ron agreed. But when they got to Hogwarts, Neville was nowhere to be found. Two days passed. Three. Four.
"I'm talking to Dumbledore," Ron said at breakfast on the fifth day. Later that morning he ran into Dumbledore, literally. "Headmaster! I was looking for you."
"Yes, Mr. Weasley? How may I help you?"
"Well, I-I was wondering about Neville. Have you heard anything about him? When does he come back?"
"According to his grandmother, he's not coming back. Mr. Longbottom has been transferred to another school."
*
"Well done!" Complete Chaos exclaimed, shaking Trouble's hand.
"Did I do all right?" she asked timidly.
"Marvelous, dear," Confusion assured her.
"We all were," Complication said.
"Oh please, that was pathetic," Depth said tossing her hair.
"Oh, go stand in a bird sanctuary or something. Maybe if we're lucky some magpies will be attracted to your tinfoil hair and carry you away," Pointlessness quipped.
"Take that back!" Complication demanded.
"I will not! Don't tell me you fancy *her*! Have you no taste, man?" His eye moved over Complication's robes. "Ugh, obviously not."
"Oh, yes and glitter boy over there makes a much better romantic interest," Complication returned.
"Why you-" Pointlessness lunged at him.
"Whoa!" Confusion called, stepping in between them.
"Get out of the way!" Complication told his cousin furiously.
"Bring it on, drool boy!" Pointlessness called.
"Up yours, bitch!" Complication replied. *crowd starts chanting*
"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"
"Who the hell is that?" Depth asked.
"Order! Order!" Order said apparating out of thin air. "If you two are going to fight, do it like civilized story elements."
"A duel then!" Complication said.
"Chose your weapon!" Pointlessness said.
"Permanent marker."
"Oh no!" Order objected. "We'll all pass out from the fumes!"
"Fine. Crayola washables at dawn," Complication said.
"Dawn it is," Pointlessness replied.
"This is trouble," Confusion muttered.
"Did I do that?" Trouble inquired. Confusion patted her arm.
"No, my dear. This one's the author's fault, not yours."
***
Oh no! What happened to Neville? How do story elements/literary terms duel? Who will win? Will Harry and Draco ever get a chapter in this fic? Find out on next chapter! Meanwhile, be kind and review!
Love always,
J. Silver