PART I

ACT V

SCENE V

(The Bridge. FUYUTSUKI, MISATO, RITSUKO, KAJI and the BRIDGE BUNNIES are all in their places while CONN sits in a spare chair, rubbing his knee.)

CONN: (To the audience.) I had never seen an Evangelion fight an Angel before. Being an archivist, I never thought I'd see one. The closest I'd ever get would probably be watching Godzilla movies, maybe some Kong films… I didn't know what I was expecting the first live Angel I ever saw to look like… A Godzilla, an Anguirus, a King Ghidorah? (Laughing.) What can I say? I like the classics. These Post-Second Impact films never really interested me… My favourite cosmic horror story is no story of Lovecraft's. No, it is a certain story by an American by appellation of Herman Melville. What starts out as a simple hunt for a rogue animal eventually takes on supernatural elements. The crew of the Pequod hears strange noises they believe to be the wailing of deceased mariners, interpret the ramblings of a foreigner as predictions of what is to come and eventually realize that Ahab's vengeful desire to kill the White Whale is because the cosmos is twisted and deceitful in nature… Is it any wonder that I quoted Chapter Fifty-Nine? It certainly was white in colour, whiter than the mountain snows… At least back when mountains had snow… Looked squid-like also, kind of like a combination of Cthulhu and King Ghidorah… Maybe in a way, I did get him as the first live Angel I ever saw… A pale white, three-headed monster with a mass of writhing tentacles at the end of each head… Okay, maybe not exactly a combination of Cthulhu and Ghidorah. Memory is not always accurate… Anyway, the Evangelions had been deployed… All five of them, looking like some Titan of Hellenic mythology or maybe a giant of Norse mythology… Something with the power to dismember a city, but thankfully they were being used to fight monsters from space. Unit-01 and Unit-02 were at the forefront with the other three spread out.

MISATO: Why does this thing have such jerky movements occasionally?

CONN: (To the audience.) That was indeed something going on with the Angel. With every step it took, like some bat upon the ground, it would occasionally become jerky in its movements, sometimes even stopping in its tracks altogether.

KAJI: We're sure this is actually an Angel? For all we know this is some robot made up to look like one.

RITSUKO: Let's save this discussion for the dissection of the body.

MAYA: It has stopped completely!

CONN: (He stands up, steadying himself with his walking stick as he stares at the screen.) Why? What is it doing? Deciding who it is going to attack?

FUYUTSUKI: No, I don't think so. Look at how all three heads are focused on Unit-02. (Everyone on the bridge grows tense as they await the coming battle.)

CONN: (To the audience.) How long had it been? A few seconds? A few minutes? It felt like an eternity, as cliché as it sounds. Maybe that is just how I am looking back on it. When the Angel did attack Unit-02, it was like a bull ramming into a bull-dancer, matador, whichever you wish. It knocked that behemoth down, attacking like… Like… I'm not sure how to describe it. God, does anyone who was there? Well, I suppose the only way is the boring way. The claws on the wings were scratching the armour the tentacles on the heads, gripping down, one of them even on the head. Anyway, Shinji's Eva pulled off the Angel and they grappled for a few moments, the Angel even managing to disconnect the Evangelion from the… The uh… (He begins snapping his fingers together) Uh, you know, the power… cord… thing… The umbilical cord… Plug? Whatever it is. Carrying on, after throwing Unit-01… Throwing? Hurling? No, no, let's stick with throwing… After throwing Unit-01, it returned to attacking Unit-02, which had just gotten back to its feet.

MISATO: Why is it so focused on Unit-02?

CONN: Maybe its like a bull and doesn't like the colour red.

KAJI: Bulls are actually partially colour blind, they can't see red. When a matador is busy with the cloth, it is actually the movement that is catching the bull's attention. (MISATO and RITSUKO both look at him in surprise. CONN doesn't even notice, walking closer as he watches the battle upon the screen.) To my shame, I once served as a matador.

ASUKA: (Offstage.) Can someone get this thing off me?

CONN: More than two is needed! All five are needed! Get everyone down there!

FUYUTSUKI: Calm down, Mr. O'Sullivan. There is no need to panic. There! Do you see? Shinji has come to Asuka's aid once more.

CONN: (To the audience.) All I could do was stand there and watch, it was all any of us could do. We watched as once more Unit-01 and the Angel grappled, the former armed with a giant knife… Giant to us, to that purple monstrosity it was probably normal sized… And then they both just… vanished! (Everyone stares in disbelief and confusion, trying to process what just happened.) During my high school years, I had attended a production of a stage adaptation of Bram Stoker's magnum opus "Dracula" and there was a scene where Jonathan Harker, Dr. Seward and Van Helsing all confronted Dracula and the Vampire King just vanished. Stage magic, of course, but what the hell had happened here? It was as if we had bore witness to a plane vanishing in the Bermuda Triangle!

MISATO: (Urgently.) Shinji! Come in! Shinji!

CONN: (To the audience.) There was no answer. For as far as we knew, that Angel had been a personification of the Bermuda Triangle and yet, as I stood there, thinking of what had just happened, the Bermuda Triangle in my mind, I couldn't help but think, hadn't I read something about someone escaping it somehow? There had to be a chance of Shinji returning, didn't there? And then I heard Titania and Asuka calling for Shinji.

TOJI: (Off-stage. Worried.) Shinji! Speak to me, buddy! Where are you? Come on, Shinji!

ASUKA: (Off-stage. Worried.) Shinji, come on! Answer me! Shinji! Earth to Idiot Shinji, where are you? (Panic begins to set in.) S-Shinji? Shinji, answer me! SHINJI!

CONN: (He sits back down in his chair and looks to the floor. Addressing the audience without looking up.) I wish I could say that through some miracle, Shinji did answer Asuka. I wish I could tell you we knew he was alright. Alas, what is and what should be are as different as a kind word is from the lash of a whip. (EXEUNT.)

END OF PART I

NOTES

Honestly, the problem with writing an Evangelion fan fiction is that people are probably expecting an Angel battle and the question of how to do this with a stage play had me stumped until I realized that Conn could just tell the audience what was going on. I am aware of some fan fictions that don't feature Angel battles, so I suppose I could have just done that, but on the other hand, I am toying with the idea of the Angels being able to take on a smaller, more human form, I'm pretty sure there is some piece of work in the franchise where the Angels have human-sized forms, but at the moment I'm drawing a blank.

Kaji mentioning have been a matador once is a reference to the "Shinji Ikari and Good Friends" series where there is a picture of Kaji dressed as a matador.

I had always intended for the Angel and Unit-01 to vanish before everyone's eyes and for there to be a Bermuda Triangle comparison from Conn. I know the decision will be criticized and people will be unhappy with it and I will take the criticism and the unhappiness as any creator should.

There was the temptation to start a new Evangelion fan fiction and there were two ideas. One was also a play, a jukebox musical specifically, but that caused me to realize I would probably fill it entirely with songs Great Big Sea had covered and I wasn't sure if the songs would fit the characters. The other was to be inspired by the Hans Christian Anderson story "The Little Mermaid" and take inspiration from a few adaptations. Ultimately, I decided other ideas can go on hold for until this story, this play, is complete, no matter how long it takes.