Squall had a few hours before he had to change, yet again, for the party. Slumping tiredly onto his bed, he lay down and stared at the ceiling. Random thoughts buzzed in his brain, he was confused and frankly downright unhappy. Everybody acted like they knew him and they didn't. He might be a loner but it didn't mean he hand no feelings. Irritated, he began to think about the strange dream again. Squall was not what you'd call a ladies man...He was absolutely focused on his career in SeeD and thought little about anything else. His world was regimented...solid....the same thing day in and day out....and he supposed he liked it that way. A relationship with another person would add chaos to the perfect equilibrium of his solitary world. That's why his mind couldn't wrap around that dream...where did it come from and why...He didn't need anyone else...who was this girl and why was she waiting for him...The only person you can depend on is yourself....why did this apparition beckon him...hell, it expected something of him....something he couldn't give....
So many unanswered questions left him frustrated...it was strange but he could feel himself changing....something was about to happen ... he was on the edge of a cliff and looking down at the bottom so far below, it scared him and yet he waited for it...wanted it...In a way, he was tired of the way his life was going...everything the same...nothing different. He was tired of being alone. Tired of watching life but never having one. Tired of people judging his every action like they knew him at all. The worst part was that he could never admit it...not even to himself....all he could tell himself again and again and again was that the way he had chosen for himself was for the best....if he tried and he failed...remember how it felt before...how many times have you been disappointed? Leaning on others made you weak...helpless...he'd been that helpless before and he'd never be again. Never....and still a small voice cried out...a voice Squall's restless conscious mind neglected....it told him that he was wrong.....that life was worth living and people were worth caring about despite all the pain and hurt that happened in-between. He toyed with these thoughts until sleep finally took him....thankfully there were no dreams.
About half an hour before the party Zell stopped in, with Selphie in tow. Zell went into his room and began to change. Selphie popped her head into Squall's room where she found him fast asleep. She stared for a moment at his limp form, twisted all funny in his bed. Selphie couldn't help it, she began to giggle, hiccupping giddily like a little kid. She decided in a flash to wake him up herself. Tip-toeing into his room, she tickled his neck until his eyes fluttered. A bit disappointed that he had awakened so easily.
"Mmmm..mm..whaaa...??" was Squall's reply, still in a groggy half-sleep.
"It's time to get up...teehee....the party's gonna start soon! You hafta change!" she said, giggling mischievously.
Squall rubbed his eyes and willed himself awake, slowly hauling himself out of bed. Stumbling to his small closet, he looked over at Selphie and cocked his eyebrow. She blinked twice and after a moment she finally got the hint.
"OH! Uh.....do you...um...need to..??" Selphie stammered, her cheeks blushing a deep red.
"YAH...."
"SORREEEEE.." Selphie said as she skipped out of his room, closing the door after her.
After she left, he took his dress uniform from its place in the closet. It looked quite similar to his battle fatigues but much more elaborate. The uniform was made from a dark blue velvet, trimmed in gold braid. The shoulders of the dress coat were ornately embroidered with gold and red silk thread in a design that resembled roses in a garden. The pants that went with it were also dark blue and down the side of each leg ran a stripe of gold brocade and red silk.
He put the stuffy uniform on, making sure to wear a light cotton undershirt to avoid chaffing his skin on the uncomfortable fabric. Squall pulled out his dress boots ,and after buffing them to a mirror finish, he put them on. Standing he admired himself in the mirror, it did look quite nice on him. He quickly brushed his light brown hair, glancing back at the mirror as he did so. It was then that he first took a real good look at the scar that ran down his face. He was in such a rush to go before that he hardly noticed it. The scar ran from the brow of his right eye, across the bridge of his nose and ended just under the orbit of his left eye. Dr. Kadowaki had been right, it was one hell of a scar. A dark vertical gash, marring his once smooth brow.....I guess it could be worse...he raised a hand to his face and lightly brushed his fingers against the scar.
Sighing deeply Squall closed his closet door and left his room. He stepped out quietly, hoping Zell and Selphie had left....of course they didn't. Squall stood there awkwardly for a moment, surprised and a bit annoyed that they waited for him. He hated these events and wanted to find a nice dark corner to hide in until he could leave. Having Zell and Selphie around precluded his ability to have some time to himself and possibly leave early.
Selphie squeaked as he entered and gushed, "WOW! You look REALLY handsome in that uniform!!"
Squall was taken aback and he mumbled a quick thank you, the best he could muster.
"Hey! What am I? Chopped liver?" Zell complained, and Selphie answered him by socking his arm, "Ow! What's the deal with people hitting me today...geez."
"It's because you deserve it...goomba. But, I guess you look good too."
"Thanks...I think..." Zell said, pulling a goofy looking face that sent Selphie into a howling giggle fit. He paused to stuff his hands in his pockets and exclaimed, half-jokingly, "C'mon lady killer let's go..."
The three entered the Garden's large ballroom, which was sumptuously decorated in tones of white and gold. Strings of lights had been hung on the walls of the room, giving it a soft orange glow. Flower garlands, made of gardenias and roses, and gauzy strips of tulle were draped around the pillars that ran the entire length of the ballroom. The doors to the balcony just off the ballroom had been opened and it was letting in a gentle breeze. Quite a few people had already gathered and were milling about, talking with each other. Large, round tables had been set out around the perimeter of the room, ready and set for dinner to be served. A young waitress appeared and escorted the three young SeeDs to a table.
"WOW! It's soooo beautiful!" Selphie exclaimed, clapping her hands lightly, "Boy, this gives me lots of ideas for the Garden Festival!"
"Yeah....I wonder what we're having for dinner?" Zell said, obviously less impressed by the decoration.
Squall just nodded, he felt restless and pensive. One of his worst habits was over-thinking, being a perfectionist, he'd try to analyze what he did wrong and what he did right. It was a never ending cycle, he'd obsess and over-analyze, until he was so depressed that he could barely function. It took weeks for him to pull out of it. Other people, Quistis in particular, would try to help him out, but in the end they gave up when it became obvious that they weren't helping. He could feel himself spiraling down into this cycle, he began to think about the past. Memories that should never have been remembered dredged from his unconscious. It was the dream...it had made him begin to question the choices he'd made in life. Deep down inside he knew that he'd made a mistake somewhere because he wasn't happy. He should have been happy, this was his moment, he finally graduated. His dream had come true and yet there seemed to be something missing. For the life of him he didn't know what that was. He was stuck on the thought, and it consumed him the entire span of dinner.
They had been seated with a group of three civilians, who'd come to seek a contract with the Garden. The civilians introduced themselves, though Squall didn't care enough to remember their names. One was a skinny guy, with ragged, limp hair, the other was a woman, at least Squall thought that's what it was, and another was an overweight fellow, with a lazy eye. This icky trio was part of some environmental group....he wasn't real interested in which group or what the hell they wanted. Selphie and Zell seemed to be interested enough, at the very least they faked it well. Squall ignored them quietly, waiting for dinner to end so he could slip away to a secluded corner. Someone occasionally glanced in his direction, as if they expected him to somehow add to their conversation. Mostly it was Zell, who had started eyeing him...the fat man-woman had taken a liking to him and he desperately needed help. He was on his own....Zell had started the stupid conversation, the punishment of talking to the walking fat factory was his. They began a mundane and frankly quite boring conversation about the effects of Guardian Forces on memory.
Guardian Forces, like the Ifrit he'd gained today, were magical spirits, that you could petition to help you in battle. There were lots of ways to get them but only one was to continually gain their power. You had to junction them, allowing them to reside inside your mind. Once you junctioned them, they became a part of you....like a limb...even affecting your personality. Junctioning GFs allowed you to cast magic, as well as summon your Guardian Force when you needed it. All magic was based on will, if you didn't have the mental strength and a willing spirit, you couldn't control it. All students studied various meditation techniques and mantras designed to teach them how to cast different spells or control GFs better. You could be a very intelligent student, but be incapable of controlling the complex forces of magic if your will wasn't strong. The mind is a curious thing and sometimes in the course of training with GFs some memory loss was experienced by weaker willed students. A big deal had been made of those few cases and a theory, by a few crack-pots, was stated that Guardian Forces took up more than just residence in your brain, their presence slowly replaced all of your memories. A flaky theory, that had very little research data to back it up and frankly it was a subject that concerned Squall very little. He didn't know or care why GFs worked the way they did, as long as they came when they were summoned. Who gives a damn about the rest. Besides, some memories weren't worth remembering.... He stared into space...
He wished sometimes that he was more like Zell...who could just shrug off bad experiences he'd had. Chalk them up to lesson learned and never be plagued by them again. Squall had always had a hard time forgetting. Squall was an orphan....he'd lost his parents when he was very, very young and had no memories of them at all. He'd grown up in an orphanage on the Centra, which had been put out of business as a result of the collapse of its government. Most of the kids who weren't adopted had been sent to foster homes, until they got adopted or placed at a new home.
Just before the orphanage closed for good, one of the other kids had left....it was strange...he hadn't thought of her in ages and couldn't remember her real name....only that they, meaning all the kids at the orphanage, called her Sis. She was the oldest there and a mother of sorts to all of them....she had been especially fond of Squall and he of her...he used to pretend she was his real sister...Sis was the closest thing he had to family at the time....Squall was a painfully shy kid, he had a stutter and all the other kids teased him...except Sis. She'd always chase all the other kids off and tell them to leave him alone. Sis liked him no matter what, as she liked almost all the kids at the orphanage. Sis made everyone feel comfortable and loved. He never noticed it at the time, but he didn't stutter when he talked with her. One day he woke up...Sis had promised to meet him that day in the garden near the orphanage but she didn't come. When he went and asked the Matron of the orphanage where Sis was...she told him that she was gone....his world collapsed on that day...it started a pattern where he'd constantly run away from the orphanage...he began to act out...to fight with other kids when they got in his face....it was then he started to cut off emotions one by one...Then the orphanage closed and he was shuttled to one, out of many, foster homes....
His first home had been a good one....a young couple with several kids of their own, plus a couple other foster kids...the mother was a lively lady... she was very kind and had tried very hard to bring Squall out of his shell. She was the one who helped him overcome his stutter...She taught him little tricks to stop him before he stuttered...slow down she'd always tell him, try and pronounce each syllable individually and DON'T let your mouth get ahead of your brain! Funny how much she reminded him of Sis, perhaps that's why he let her help him. He lived there one year when the Galbadian government decided to move him else where. One of the last normal times he could remember.
He went to several other homes, if you could call them that...most of them could care less about a lonely orphan like Squall and were only doing it for the money the government gave them for upkeep. They never really treated him badly, but they didn't really make an effort like his first family had. He got used to the loneliness and even came to count on it. In three years he had ten different families. Six months here, two months there....always moving....The worst part was getting to know a family and them getting to know you only to be torn apart a few months later. Every time it happened, Squall's heart would break. There was no lasting relationships...no one to count on...Like any young child, he hungered for the constant love and stability of a single set of parents and one place to call home. Unfortunately, this was not to be....he had no home and no family to care for him....He realized when he was eight that he'd never have just one family that loved him...he'd always be alone. From that day forward he didn't even try to care about the various families he stayed with. He kept to himself and waited for the inevitable move to the next home. The last home he was in had been abusive, he didn't live with them for long, only one horrible month....the "parents" used Squall's child-support checks given to them to buy expensive things for themselves....the father was a drunk and would often get liquored up and beat the crap out of Squall or his wife or both... Often he came in to the small elementary near his home with bruises, cuts... whatever...A concerned teacher reported them to the authorities and finally child protective services found out about their little scam and busted them...he was ten at the time...It was the first time he'd heard about the Garden...
The Matron from the orphanage had married a young enterprising man named Cid, who had started this academy....it offered an education for local children, as well as a place where orphans like him could have a home and an education. She had heard about what had happened to Squall after he left her orphanage and had asked her husband to take him in. Cid had come in to the half way house they'd put Squall in while his foster parents were on trial. He had petitioned the government to release custody of Squall and let him take the young boy to the military academy he had started in Balamb. At first, the social workers were a bit wary about sending him to a military school, afraid it might be too strict but also hopeful it'd give the boy some direction, so they decided to let Squall have the final say. They let him meet with Cid and if he wanted to, he could go with him back to the Garden. The minute Squall walked in Cid started his pitch. He was skinnier then, his hair still a deep auburn, with no trace of the gray that now peppered it. Squall had been seated at a small table in the community room. Cid sat down in a chair directly opposite him. Looking rather silly sitting in the chair, which was too small for his frame, his blues eyes sparkled.
"Hello....You're Squall right? I'm Cid Kramer....how do you do?" Cid asked, smiling genially and watching Squall for a reaction. He was told about the boy's stand-offish nature. Cid could see it'd take something dramatic to impress the boy enough to open up. He started up again, " I've come to ask you a few questions. How would you like to stop wandering from home to home? You see, I'm from a place called Balamb Garden...It's a school....I know it seems far away but we'd really like to have you. They tell me that you're very intelligent. I understand that most of the studies at your grade level are way below your potential. I'd like to offer you the opportunity to come to my school....You see, we're a new kind of school. At Balamb the students control what they'd like to learn about. Plus, you get the chance to become a member of SeeD...do you know what that is?" Squall shook his head no, "Well, SeeDs are the Garden's elite troops and they work to protect people all around the world. People like you....Can I show you something?"
Squall nodded, why would this funny looking man give him anything, he just wanted him to go away. Probably another liar that'd promise stuff that he couldn't give...The funny man gave him a small blue marble that was cold to the touch. Squall looked at him with confusion...what the heck was it?
"You know what that is? That little bead contains a Guardian Force...Guardian Forces are special spirits that SeeDs use to help protect them. This one's name is Shiva, she's an ice spirit....would you like to have her?" Cid asked, watching the boy intently. Cid could see interest growing in his eyes....
"How does it work?"
Cid cupped his large hands over Squall's small hands, "You concentrate very hard, now...your will has to be very strong and you have to want the spirit to come out very much. At the Garden we can teach you how to become strong enough to control these spirits. Right now, I'll have to help you but later on you can learn how to do it all by yourself. I know it sounds kinda silly.... but let's try together."
They closed their eyes and concentrated together. Squall wasn't sure whether to believe him or not but he tried very hard. He focused and with all of his being he willed the ice spirit to show herself. He'd like to see this spirit, if there was one. The room got very cold all of a sudden and when he opened his eyes there she stood. Shiva was there in the room with both of them. Floating in mid-air she was truly a sight to behold, her skin an unearthly pale blue...her eyes were dark and ice cold, they seemed to look right through him....Squall was awestruck...he'd never seen anything like her.
"Why have you summoned me?" the goddess asked, her blue lips mouthing the words with imperious contempt.
"I've summoned you here to show you this boy...I'd like to know if he worthy enough to serve you..." Cid answered politely.
Shiva floated over to Squall and knelt down, touching her hand to his heart. Squall shivered....the touch of her hands was like ice...so cold....almost painful. He'd never been so afraid and yet so excited in his life. When grown ups went on and on about spirits and fairies, they were usually lying. They only told kids that to keep them quiet but this guy wasn't lying. He had told him there was an ice spirit in a blue marble and there was. Shiva looked into the boy's eyes and began to speak. He was at first confused because when she spoke her lips didn't move. After a few moments he realized that she wasn't speaking at all but projecting her thoughts into his mind....he was kind of afraid to answer her questions...but he summoned all his courage and tried to answer her as well as he could. The rest of the world faded and all that he could hear was the sound of her voice and his......Boy...why do you want Shiva to help you....why have you summoned me...I summoned you because...I wanted to see you....to see if you were real. Well...now that you see that I am real what do you want?......Will you really help me? Can you make me stronger? If that is what you desire. However, strength is not something you gain...it is something you have already...I see your heart is strong...but your body is still weak... You must be willing to work hard to attain your dreams........What do you dream about boy and be honest..... I dream about becoming strong....strong enough to protect others... from those who want to hurt them...like the SeeDs the funny man keeps talking about....Ah, I see...a noble enough goal. If I help you and you become strong enough...then what will you do? I have seen inside your soul and I know your life has been hard....will you seek revenge or will you seek change? I seek change.........to make myself better so that maybe someday I can find Sis, so we can be a family again.... Your words ring true....Then I will be your Guardian Force, Squall...my power is your power....
She leaned down and kissed his forehead, disappearing in a flash of light. The blue bead began to glow, melting into Squall's hand like an ice cube on a summer day. Icy fingers began prickling at the base of Squall's head. The sensation was painful, a dead numbing cold subsuming his entire body. He lost all feeling in his limbs, his lips turning a sickly blue as he shivered in his seat. Another burst of light erupted, blinding Squall, and when he opened his eyes he was in the halfway house again. Cid sat next to him, peering at him under his glasses with a funny little smile on his face.
"What did she say?" he asked.
"She said that she would be my Guardian Force..."
"Well, Shiva has answered and now you have to...Will you come to the Garden with me or stay here?"
"Can I really become a SeeD?" Squall asked, staring at Cid with those eyes, even at such a young age they burned with a tireless intensity.
"Yes, you can study and become whatever you want at the Garden. It's your choice."
"I'd like to go with you...I wanna be a SeeD."
That day his life changed, he didn't feel weak anymore. He had control of his own life now. He would never be at the mercy of others again. He dove head first into his studies, eating up any information he was given....He'd always been a smart kid...he learned to read at an early age, thanks to Sis who had taught him how to when he was only four. It was his only escape from a world that could care less about a lonely little kid like him. By this time he'd firmly built a wall around his heart and come to the conclusion that most people weren't worth the effort...not that he wasn't grateful to those few who'd been kind to him, he owed so much to Cid...who had taken him out of a living hell and brought him to heaven. Cid was to this day one of the few people Squall really cared about but years worth of abuse and being torn from situations were he'd felt safe and loved had taught him that nothing lasted....nothing lasted and you only got hurt when you expected and depended too much on the kindness of others. He kept most people, to some extent even Cid, at arms length. He didn't want to get to know them and he didn't want them to get to know him. It was easier this way..... His heart was tired of being hurt.....it ached to much already....burying himself in a mountain of books...forsaking the company of the other students on campus for the joy of learning...he decided when he was ten years old that he'd become a SeeD.....that was Squall's one and only dream....to become a SeeD so that he could protect instead of being protected.....secretly hiding the hope that someday he'd find his Sis and be whole again.
Zell shook his shoulder and Squall snapped back to reality. Dinner had ended and the wait staff began to clear the floor for dancing.
"Squall....you okay?" Zell asked, concerned by the strange haunted expression his friend wore.
"Yeah.. It's nothing...."
"Wanna talk about it?" Zell pushed on, worried more and more by the distant look in Squall's eyes.
"No... really...I'm fine... Just thinking about the past."
"Hmmmm....Okay...but if you need to talk or whatever...I'm here and stuff. Gonna dance? Lots o' pretty lassies here...."
"No....I'll be someplace quiet, Zell...catch ya later.." Squall replied dimly, getting up quickly to leave. Zell watched Squall fade into the mass of people on the dance floor, a look of worry marring his normally jovial face.
Squall weaved through the growing crowd on the dance floor to seek out a dark hiding place to hide. He found a spot near the entrance to the terrace, it afforded a great view of the entire ballroom. People watching had always calmed him. There was peace in watching the routines of others. It took your mind off your own problems for awhile. When he was younger he used to make up stories while watching people go through their day...sometimes he still did. People came and went, talking in hushed tones, while wait staff bustled about their business. He watched a couple in the corner whisper in each others ear silent words of love and adulation...another group of SeeDs laughing together over some joke....all around him, people were having a good time.....suddenly, people watching gave him little pleasure, he was restless and though he'd never admit it, he was terribly lonely. The memory of his own painful past made his heart ache with desire. He saw how happy other people were and he knew he'd never be like them. Happy and content...always knowing that someone was there to love them. He tried to tell himself that it was better his way but for some reason that excuse seemed to be of little comfort to him. The orchestra began to play and couples slowly trickled onto the dance floor. Squall watched with an air of cool detachment, silently wishing to join.
He had very little experience in the ways of women. He'd never dated...never showed any real interest in doing do so. Squall fled in fear from emotional and intellectual attachments. Falling in love left you open to be hurt and he'd rather not deal with that. Besides, most of the women he knew were flighty and annoying. Squall had never found a girl that had challenged him, much less interested him.
Suddenly, the crowd around the dance floor parted. Squall watched transfixed, a girl he'd never seen before emerged from the opening on the dance floor. The other girls in the room were typical fair. They had too much make-up, too much hair and wore fussy, elaborate dresses that made them look like fat, bloated peacocks. This girl was strikingly different, she had no make-up on and her hair hung loose around her soft, yet surprisingly well muscled shoulders. The girl weaved in and out of the crowd and Squall followed her movement every step of the way. She seemed to be looking for someone. I wonder who? Squall mulled, watching her like a hawk....Her movements were confident and self-assured, like she didn't even care that the entire room was staring at her. She was pale, skin the color of alabaster, set off nicely by her shoulder length hair, as dark as midnight with flecks of brown highlighting her heart shaped face. She was wearing a very simple strapless ivory dress, made of a light silk that shimmered when she walked.
Glinting like a diamond in the soft light of the ballroom, she stopped suddenly to look around, her eyes scanning the room and without warning, locking on to his. Squall's heart skipped a beat, he suddenly felt very nervous and he couldn't figure out why. Caught in a spell they gazed at each other for what seemed an eternity. The girl smiled, his pulse quickened....it was like a blind man who just gained the gift of sight and opening the curtains for the first time, he saw the world anew, bright and colorful. He felt confused, frightened and strangely enough, excited. He wanted to shrink away from that gaze but curiosity rooted him to the spot. She looked up at the sky-light above the ballroom and pointed to the stars. He looked to where she had pointed, the sky was dark and the stars were glittering. Amongst the steady burning lights of the heavens, a rain of shooting stars streaked across the sky, spreading their magic. The girl looked back at Squall and smiled again. His stomach started to churn and he was overtaken by a sudden wash of giddiness. With a determined gait she strode over to him, the same beautiful smile gracing her face.
"Hi..." She said, stopping right in front of Squall...her voice like the sound of chimes in the wind, breathy and sweet.
His heart hammering, panic filled every cell of his being. He quickly looked down, hoping that if he pretended she wasn't there she'd go away. Instead of leaving, she began to laugh, her rose colored lips parting in a care-free and effortless smile.
"Ooooo...the shy and silent type, huh?" She said, leaning down to look at his face, which was turning several shades of scarlet, "Let's see...You're the best looking guy in the ENTIRE room and yet....here you are...hiding in a corner... You're not dancing...not having fun......Dance with me, What do you say?"
Squall didn't answer, he just stared at her and repeated in his head... pleasegopleasegopleasegopleasego....she didn't. Her brows furrowed, she wrinkled her nose and stuck out her lip in mock sulkiness.
"THAT DOES IT! You're dancing with me whether you like it or not.!"
She grabbed his wrist and with surprising strength, began to drag him onto the dance floor.
"W- wait! I can't dance!!" Squall protested, his paralysis broken.
She whirled around and with a twinkle in her eyes answered, "So what? Then I'll teach you..."
God, nothing is going to stop this girl...
They stepped onto the dance floor and she turned to face him. Without a word she placed his hands in the appropriate spots and began to guide his steps to match hers. He was hopelessly clumsy, staggering around like a drunk. He tripped and bumped into another couple. It was Baird Wallace and his date, who was almost the ugliest girl he'd ever seen. Baird had a notorious temper and puffed up his chest at Squall's indiscretion. Probably thinks I'm after his date.....Ick, not even if he PAID me....
Wallace broke away from his date and jabbing his finger at Squall began to shout, "What's the big idea!? Watch where you're going!"
Squall was about to apologize but the girl intervened before he could. "Who died and made you king of the dance floor. Why don't you watch where you're going, jerk! " She snapped back in authoritative tone, her dark eyes flickering with anger.
Baird backed off, glowering at Squall, and rejoined his date on the dance floor. Once his back was turned, the girl stuck her tongue out and looking back at Squall, she giggled "Someone should put a bag over his date's head...." she paused, feeling the muscles tighten up underneath his uniform...she looked at his face, and read his anxiety...smiling sympathetically, "hey...It's okay......If he comes back I'll kick his ass... relax a little...You're so tense!"
Squall had enough, his frustration level was at max and he couldn't take it anymore. He didn't even want to be out here in the first place. Now everyone was looking at him making an ass of himself. Why had he let her drag him out here in the first place!? Yes, she was beautiful....Yes, she was more confident that any girl he'd met before but that didn't mean he had to go stupid over her. He didn't ask for this crap and he sure as hell wasn't going to take it anymore. Angry and frustrated, Squall broke away and started to storm off the dance floor. She followed him and gently caught his wrist in her firm but soft grip. He whirled on her, his face flushed with anger, ready to let her have it...to really tell her off...but when he did, somehow it all dissipated. She stood there, just looking at him, her lovely face a sea of serene beauty. Her dark brown eyes were warm and swirled with concern, not judging him...not asking him to be different than he was...just accepting him for who he was....she'd be there if he danced with her or not, she didn't care.... She found him as interesting as he found her...His emotions were in turmoil, unable to reconcile his philosophy with his feelings. She had penetrated the wall he'd built around his heart, and now that she was inside he couldn't get rid of her.
"Want to try again?" She asked with a gentle smile.
He looked up, his ice blue eyes melting as he matched her gaze, "Yes...."
They entered the dance floor for a second time. She curled her small hand into his, squeezing gently. Slipping her other hand around his neck, her fingers brushing his skin lightly, he shivered with pleasure at the touch. She guided his left hand around and placed it on the small of her back. Squall could smell the scent of her perfume....she was so close....he could feel her body as it lightly pressed against his. She turned her face up and their eyes locked, the connection undeniable. They began to dance, putting the clumsiness of their last attempt behind them. Sweeping across the floor as one, not two...time slowed and they were caught in the moment. Every step missed the last time, Squall hit with perfect precision, his catlike grace normally used for fighting, finding another outlet.....she smiled and giggled like a little girl as he spun her around the floor. All eyes had turned to them, not that either noticed or cared. They were the best dancers on the floor, blowing everyone else away. She looked up at him, smiling warmly. The corner of his lip turned up in a shy half smile, letting himself enjoy the moment. They danced this way for the entire night, song after song....until the orchestra finally stopped and the fireworks that marked the end of the party fired. Looking up at the flowering explosions, they both knew their time was up. The clock had struck midnight, their time together was over.
"HEY! Time to go, Your Highness!" a voice from the crowd yelped and a young man in a bad tux appeared.
The girl looked into Squall's eyes, he knew what was coming...what always came. Why'd he even let himself hope for a moment that he could achieve any kind of happiness with another person. Fate, it seemed had chosen to bring them together, only to tear them apart. Typical
"I gotta go.." she stammered....her voice almost a whisper, "You're a SeeD now right?"
"Yes.."
"Well, maybe we'll meet again. My group might be a future client..."
"Yeah, Maybe.."
"Good Bye..." she said, withdrawing, and as she walked away from him, she glanced backwards, giving him a little wave before she disappeared into the crowd.
He watched her go, his heart pained by the bitter-sweetness of the moment. A terrible sense of loneliness enveloped him. He didn't want to feel this way, his stomach hurt, and he felt like he was going to be sick. Racked with doubt and insecure about his entire world view, Squall wished he could forget everything. This girl, an enigma herself, had fully awakened him to his own despair. As if that wasn't enough, he didn't even know her name. He left the party irritable and confused. He needed time to order his thoughts and a good night's sleep.