Title: The end of it all
By: Poet
Summary: I suck at these, have I mentioned that? Mulder is slowly being killed by the artifact's powers. All Scully wants is to see him and to save him.
Spoilers: Amor Fati, The sixth extinction Biogenesis
Disclaimer: Not mine, no credit or money is mine. So sue someone else.
The End Of It All
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"He's dangerous!"
"Not to me"
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He's calmed down now. This time without sedatives or restraints. This man, so violent a few short hours ago is now nothing more then a child. Lying listless and limp in my arms in his padded cell. Had he been feeling better, he probably would have laughed at the irony of his new 'home.' But it wasn't funny now. Now he was dying slowly. Dying because his brain was far too alive for his body. And I, helpless even with my science and reason am dying along with him.
Doesn't he realize that this isn't supposed to end this way? As hard as I want to tell him to hang on, nothing comes. The words are choked by the bitter doubt.
He's dying. He's dying. He's dying. He's dying. He's dying. He's dying. He's dying. He's dying. He's dying. He's dying.
It is my newest mantra. Instead of comfort or pleas. I whisper memories to him. The sound of the rain as it pounded outside of our hotel in Oregon on our first case. The feeling of ice pressed against us when we were lost in Antarctica. The sound of wood cracking each time we hit the tiny pieces of horsehide for my birthday. All of these memories flood to the front and I am glad.
Too many others are of pain and of trips to the hospital and of tears long dried but not forgotten. It's too much. But with him I have survived. He has passed me every ounce of strength selflessly, leaving none for himself. Now as his life spirals away out of his control, I fear I have taken the strength he will need.
A long time ago he spoke to me of being my burden. That he would gladly give up everything to replace what my work with him had cost me. I think I surprised him when I started yelling. He expected me to agree, to tell him that he had been a burden. I screamed at him until I started crying. And then, he joined me.
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He claimed to be hearing things. Voices. Even with my background in science I can't quite dismiss that. Human Beings utilize maybe 10 of their brain. Mulder's brain is active in areas no one has seen before. Maybe it's true. Or maybe that's my desperation for him to hear me coming through. Either way, I'm thinking as hard as I can.
'When you get better we need have a long talk.'
'I need you to make it through this Mulder.'
'I've got nothing left but you'
There is one thing I wont say though. I can't tell him. As each thought grows more desperate for some miraculous recovery or miracle in general I push those three words away. Somehow though, it feels as if he already knows. As if he has for a long time. Perhaps the feeling in my head is him, reading me even as he lies there. If I were Mulder, I'd probably do the same thing. But then again this man has never been conventional.
Running my fingers through his short hair, I press a kiss to his temple. If only I could delve inside his beautiful mind and relieve the sickness within. If only I could have him back. It is selfish to wish for him to recover because I am lonely, but I couldn't care less.
Outside, I can hear the sound of approaching footsteps and I dread being pulled away from him. But I have to do something. I cannot sit idly by as he suffers. He did everything he could when I was diagnosed with cancer. Eventually he saved me. Now it is my turn.
The latch on the door turns and as it opens, I see Skinner's face. Stern and unaffected as he can be. "Agent Scully, your ticket is here and the plane leaves in 2 hours. I suggest you get going to wherever you're going." He says as he hands me a sealed envelope. I nod silently and he eyes Mulder for a moment before turning and stepping out.
Shifting, I gently slide Mulder to the left and move out from under him. Bending once more, I kiss his forehead softly. Briefly his hazel eyes flicker and catch mine. No recognition. Nothing. But for some reason I can sense him screaming. Running my fingers across his now stubbled jaw, I nod and stand.
In the doorway, I turn back and stare hard at him. He followed my exit with his eyes. For a moment I am tempted to stay. To shut out the world and be with him until it all ends. But I must do what I can in the short time he has left. If I am to fail, then I will fail the both of us. Knowing that I am not alone, I send one last thought in Mulder's direction, praying desperatly for him to hear it. With that, I turn and close the door to his prison. I have work to do.
'I love you Mulder. Hold on. I'm going to bring you back."
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The End