Trigger Warning: PTSD; Nightmares

Day Nine
The Very Noisy Night
Sleeping in Shifts | Tossing and Turning | Caught in a Storm

Sam shifted as consciousness slowly drifted back to him. He felt disoriented as he blinked around the dark space, slow to remember where he was. For a moment he began to panic as he realized he was sleeping on a hard, unforgiving surface and his eyes began to adjust and he saw dull stone walls around him. Had he been captured?

But then the events of the last couple days came creeping back to him. A battle. Getting overwhelmed. Attempting to escape, but ending up shot down in the middle of a jungle. Not able to get a signal out and having to walk through the jungle in an attempt to find civilization.

Sam's stiff muscles ached as he rolled over onto his side in order to look toward the front of the cave they were sheltered in. He could just glimpse Bucky's silhouette at the front of the cave, keeping a lookout as rain beat down steadily just beyond him. There was a smoldering pile of sticks next to him, just enough to give them a little heat in the cave without giving off too much light that could alert any hostiles that might be looking for them.

Sam narrowed his eyes at the figure as he started to realize that he was feeling a suspicious amount of rested. Then he checked his watch and cursed under his breath as he started making his way up to the front of the cave.

They were supposed to change watch every two hours. Bucky had been on watch for almost six.

"You lose track of time?" Sam asked as he crouched next to Bucky.

Bucky glanced over at him. "You know the answer to that."

Sam shrugged. "Just trying to give you the opportunity to lie to me. Figured it was only polite." There was an awkward silence. "So, you wanna–"

"We should get going soon," Bucky interrupted, his gaze still determinedly trained on the trees outside the cave. "Get some more distance in before it gets dark."

Sam ducked his head slightly in order to get a glimpse of the sky outside the cave. "I don't think it's worth soaking our only supplies when there hasn't been any sign of anyone tracking us this far. I think we can afford to stay put for a bit. So, how about you go get some rest and I'll take watch."

"I'm fine," Bucky said shortly. "You can get some more rest though."

"Bucky–"

"You know I don't need as much sleep as you do," Bucky pointed out.

"True," Sam admitted. "But you know that you need some sleep, right?" Bucky didn't respond. Sam sighed heavily. "Bucky, look at me."

There was a long pause in which Bucky didn't move, didn't so much as twitch a muscle. And then, finally he turned to look at Sam. His eyes were defiant, but there were bags under them and every time Bucky blinked it seemed to take an effort to pull his eyelids back up again.

"C'mon, man," Sam said. "In the past three days I think you've gotten two hours of sleep. You gotta get some rest."

"I once went ninety-six hours on no sleep," Bucky said dully as he shifted his gaze back outside. "I can handle it."

"Let me guess, that was with HYDRA?" The lack of response was really all the answer Sam needed. "Okay, so what is it, you don't trust me to have your back?"

"No," Bucky said quickly.

"Then what?" Sam demanded.

"It makes more tactical sense," Bucky said stoically. "I will still function with no sleep. You won't."

"Okay," Sam said slowly, still feeling like he was missing something. "That would make a lot more sense if I hadn't just slept for almost six hours. I'm good for a while."

There was another heavy silence.

"I… have nightmares," Bucky finally said thinly, his gaze still pinned outside. "Pretty much everytime I sleep." Bucky took a deep breath. "Sometimes… in the split second I wake up… I forget. I forget who I am. Sometimes, for that split second… I think I'm him."

The pieces finally came together. Sam reached out and placed a comforting hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"You know he's gone," Sam said gently. "The Wakandans made damn sure of that. And he's not coming back. That split second isn't him, it's just that moment where you're in between a dream and reality. It would never last more than that split second, I promise."

"I just… don't want you to have to watch your front and your back, you know?" Bucky said.

"I won't need to," Sam insisted. He gave Bucky's shoulder a squeeze. "You're not gonna hurt me, Bucky. I know you won't."

"How do you know? How are you so sure?"

"Because the Wakandans don't half ass anything," Sam said with a smile. Bucky snorted a half hearted laugh. "Now c'mon. Go get some rest. I need you in tip top shape in order to save my ass and get me outta here."

Bucky swatted at Sam playfully before he turned and started making his back into the cave. He went much further back than Sam had been, and Sam couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"If that makes you feel better," Sam consented with a shrug as Bucky glared at him.

But finally, the Super Soldier laid down on the cave floor. He shifted around for several minutes, before he finally stilled. And a few minutes later, Sam heard him breathing deep and slow. He was finally asleep.