Sleight of hand and twist of fate—On a bed of nails she makes me wait. And I wait, without you.
My hands are tied, my body's bruised, she's got me with—Nothing to win and nothing left to loose
And you give yourself away---And you give yourself away.
And you give, and you give and you give yourself away.
With or without you, with or without you.--I can't live, with or without you.
Lyrics by U2.
Quistis and the others watched the parades progress from their perch in the gateway. She pulled out her binoculars, peering at the tiny form of the Sorceress. There was little security surrounding her, only one guard. Strange....Quistis squinted, taking a closer look at the lone guard. She gasped, the coat he was wearing....a gray trench coat, decorated with red iron crosses on the sleeves....He turned so she could see his face....the blond spiked hair, the scar running left to right down his face....Seifer...he was alive and he was guarding the Sorceress.
Quistis dropped her hands at her sides, not knowing what else to do. It was a trivial matter, who cares if he guarded her...she'd be dead soon anyway. Quistis thought, still worried at Seifer's reappearance, Did Galbadia Garden betray us?.....Did they know Seifer was still alive and working for the Sorceress? What should I tell Zell and Selphie.....Quistis decided not to say anything, reasoning that if they knew, it would just be a distraction. They should concentrate on making sure they completed their mission.
She tried not to think about it too much, pushing the thought away as the parade winded down the street, but it was always in the back of her mind. How could he betray us?....He has to know what that woman is. What she wants. Even with all his problems, he has to know. What is he thinking? Is he thinking at all? Maybe she's controlling him somehow. Doesn't matter, she reasoned with herself, We just have to do our job. And if he gets in the way....well.... She sighed heavily, focusing on the task at hand. It wasn't her job to speculate about Seifer, she was here to kill the Sorceress and that was all. The float neared the gateway, Quistis brought up her binoculars again to monitor the parade.
The front of the float nosed its way into the gateway slowly, preceded by dozens of dancers, their feathered costumes flickering with their every movement. Zell watched from the small window as the dim interior of the gateway was illuminated by the flaming urns on the float. He stepped up on tip-toe, jumping back in revulsion at his first good look at the Sorceress. His view was blocked by one of the large urns, glimpsing her through the flicker of flames. She was hideous, her ghostly pale face a vision of a demon in hell. Zell scrambled to the other side of the first level, checking if the float was all the way in. Glancing outside, he clicked on his radio, "QUISTIS! FIRST GATE NOW!!"
She signaled Selphie, who smacked the switch to release the first portcullis. Quistis dashed over to the other switch to make ready for the next signal. The radio erupted again, the final signal, Quistis slammed her fist on the release button. Both gateways came crashing down, trapping the surprised Sorceress just as the carousel popped out of the roof of the palace.
Squall and his team swooped upwards with the carousel, going from near darkness to light in a few seconds. Irvine swiftly shouldered his rifle, his hands shaking with fear. He'd never shot at a live human target before and was beginning to get the jitters. He couldn't stop his hands from trembling. If it didn't stop soon, there was no way he could shoot. Looking through the scope he tried to aim but it was no use, he couldn't do it. Despondently, Irvine dropped the rifle, letting it clatter to the floor. Squall and Rinoa staring at him with disbelief.
"I-I-I can't....."
"What.....you can't what...." Squall stammered, hoping to god he didn't mean he couldn't shoot. The carousel was rising fast, they'd only have one chance.
"I can't shoot....I've never.....My hands are shaking too much, I can't do it."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!! YOU CAN'T!!" Squall shouted, his eyes widening in total disbelief, damned cocky Cowboy, I KNEW he was all talk....."THERE IS NO CAN'T! SHOOT HER FOR FUCKS SAKE!!"
"ARE YOU DEAF?!...MY HANDS ARE SHAKING TOO MUCH... I CAN'T DO IT!! AS IN, I CAN'T SHOOT!! I WILL CHOKE IF I TRY!!"
"....HOW CAN YOU MISS!! SHE'S RIGHT THERE!! POINT THE GUN AND SHOOT HER IN THE GOD DAMNED HEAD!!!" Squall barked, jabbing a finger at his head wildly.
"I'M TELLING YOU...I CAN'T!!"
Squall breathed in deeply and pushed back his initial anger. He had to find a way to motivate the Cowboy. His voice quavering he said as calmly as he could, "Alright...I know you're nervous.....but we only have a few more seconds....think of it as...as..." he stopped, grasping at straws before inspiration struck, "....it's a trial run....you're only practicing.....please, we only have one chance at this...it doesn't even matter if you miss...just try!"
Irvine looked at Squall and slowly picked up his rifle. Taking a deep breath, he aimed, looking through the scope, "Only practice...." The crosshairs coming to rest on the Sorceress's head... "a trial run...".his heart softly pounding....breathing shallowly...... every movement so slow, deliberate.... the Sorceress turned around as she sat on her throne, facing the carousel..... "...like shooting were rats with my T-16 back home..." narrowing his eyes....sliding his finger towards the trigger....inhaling deeply....he squeezed. The gun went off, the sound like a clap of thunder, propelling the bullet towards the target. The gunshot instantly sent the entire crowd into chaos, soldiers, police, and spectators running wild in panic. He watched the melee through his scope, hoping to see the bullet hit. The tiny projectile hurtling towards the Sorceress. Edea stood up quickly, snapping her hand out, instantly erecting a flashing barrier of light. Halting the bullet's progress mere inches away from hitting her, it spun there for a moment in mid-air and then it fell to the ground. Irvine watched it all through his scope, getting angry at himself and throwing down his rifle in disgust.
"SHIT!! SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!" he screamed, hitting the side of the carousel with his fist.
"What....What happened?" Rinoa asked, "You hit her right??"
"No..."
"Fuck!" Squall cursed quietly, walking towards the edge of the carousel, gunblade drawn.
"You missed?" Rinoa said, trying not to sound too disappointed.
"No...I didn't miss, my aim was fine...I would've hit her but somehow she blocked it. Some kind of fucking barrier..." Irvine replied, annoyed that they both didn't have more faith in him. He looked up at Squall about to say something to him about it and almost had a heart attack....Squall was standing on the ledge of the carousel, and he looked ready to jump, "Hey, What do you think you're doing......."
"I'm completing the mission...." he said softly, leaping off the side of the carousel, gunblade raised over his head.
Rinoa and Irvine dashed forward, watching him take a spectacular dive off the roof of the Palace. Landing without injury on the ground below. They looked at each other, their faces reflecting twin looks of shock. It had to be at least ten feet....son of a bitch....Irvine thought, looking over at Rinoa. She stood up suddenly and ran back through the curtained room, towards the front exit.
I'm not a crazy SeeD... can't leap off buildings in a single bound...but I can sure as hell follow him...she mused, before Irvine caught her wrist. She swung around, scowling at Irvine.
"Hey....Where the hell do you think you're going?"
"After Squall...."
"No...I don't think so...."
Rinoa snatched her arm back, growling with menace, "Don't tell me what to do, what is it with you people!?....We can't very well leave him on his own...."
"Yes, we can....Sunshine can take care of himself, he's a big boy..." Irvine snapped at her.
"Whatever....Maybe you believe that....and maybe even he believes that. But he still might need us..." She said, looking over her shoulder before she ran off , "You can stay here if you want...but I'm going."
"You're BOTH nuts!" Irvine called after her.
Squall soared through the air, dropping like a lead weight towards the ground that was rising to meet him. He landed on his feet with a thump. Looking up, Squall rushed forward through the palace gate, gunblade held outstretched behind him. Charging into the rioting crowd, shoving past frightened spectators. A few soldiers tried to stop him, he made short work of them, his blade twirling brilliantly in the garish night. Silver light trailing behind the gunblade's tip as it shredded flesh and shattered bone. He hijacked a police car, knocking out the officer and dumping him on the street.
Squall tore through the street, wheels screeching as he avoided panicking crowd members. Pushing the accelerator as far as it would go, he rammed the heavy gate that had trapped the Sorceress's float. Whipping the door open, he scrambled through the bent gate and onto the float itself. Squall could see her, still standing with her hand held aloft, not knowing that death lurked so near. Climbing onto the platform, he burst through the crepe backboard of the throne. Lifting his gunblade to strike down the unsuspecting Sorceress. He swiped downward, the clank of metal on metal greeting him as his blow was blocked. A black gunblade... He looked up, Seifer, his face twisted with hate, leered at him.
"What's the matter, Squall....see something green?"
Squall froze....he was dead...they told us he was dead... Seifer smirked, lunging forward, using his own momentum to unbalance Squall; spilling him to the floor. Seifer raised his gunblade, to strike Squall while he was down. Rolling quickly to his feet, Squall struck back at Seifer, twirling his gunblade upward defensively. Pushing himself off the floor, he swiped again. Seifer just barely had time to guard, the force of the blow driving him back. He recovered quickly, pointing his gunblade at the SeeD. Squall stepped forward, holding his gunblade ready.
".....Why are you here....they told us you were dead...."
" 'They' talk too much....." Seifer sneered, rushing forward, gunblade held high.
Squall easily blocked it, knocking the blow away from his body with the flick of his wrist. Seifer lunged again, his stance unbalanced and low, swiping sideways with his blade. Squall dodged, spinning around, gunblade whipping overhead. He brought it down gracefully, Seifer quickly countering with his own blow. Metal grated on metal, sparks flying as the blades grinded against each other in a sick test of strength. Squall bared down, putting pressure on his blade, to weaken Seifer's hold on his own.
"Answer me....Why are you here!?"
Seifer grunted, feeling his strength leave his arms. He sneered, jabbing a foot out and kicking Squall hard in the shin. His leg buckled, Seifer pushed him off, sending him stumbling backwards. Both young men faced each other, chests heaving. Seifer began to cackle, the sound was harsh and unpleasant. There was a change in him. Seifer had always been a jerk, but now there was malice. Like that time at the comm tower....he wants to kill me....Squall thought, watching Seifer's face, distorted with anger.
"The best the Garden has to offer....Pathetic......." Seifer spit, thrusting his blade forward again and again.
Squall blocked, with each blow he was being driven back. He knew sooner or later he'd reach the edge of the float. He fired off a round of ammo, showering hot shrapnel into Seifer's face. He winced, flailing and grabbing at his face. Rubbing his eyes, he looked at Squall in amazement.
"I asked you question....WHY ARE YOU HERE!?"
Seifer laughed, "You haven't figured it out?! I'm here to protect the Sorceress from you.....I'm her knight."
Squall stepped forward, his head shaking in contempt at what the man before him had become, "You're insane.....get out of my way."
"Make me.....SeeD....." Seifer said with a derisive sneer.
"Oh hell, I don't have time for this..."
Squall lifted his hand up, sending out a spiraling gale of wind that knocked Seifer to the ground. He got up and smiled, rushing forward again, holding his gunblade sloppily in one hand. Thrusting quickly, he swung his blade at Squall, who calmly guarded each blow. Squall brought his weapon up, the blade twirling in his hand as he struck at Seifer. Hitting him with a barrage of blows that Seifer had trouble blocking. When had he become so clumsy....Squall thought, as he wailed on his opponent with quiet, but deadly precision.
Any passion in the dance drained from him, becoming a wrote series of steps. Fighting Seifer had always been a challenge for him, a dance with death. In the years they'd practiced together, Squall had yet to best him. The slow realization that he had the upper hand in this fight, that he was going to win, startled Squall. He in all ways surpassed his sparring partner, his rival, in skill and grace. Seifer noticed the difference, and wondered what had changed in Leonhart since they last fought. When had he become so fucking good? Anger bled into his soul. Why was he always better? Bastard.......The fight ranged back and forth across the float, the Sorceress watching with an amused but detached air.
While Squall struggled with Seifer, Rinoa made her way, arduously, through the crowds of people. Pushing through pile ups of frightened spectators. The police and the National Guard had stepped in, trying to calm down the rioting crowd. Drifts of tear gas floated through the air, tearing up Rinoa's eyes. She covered her mouth with her hand, and kept moving towards the gateway. As she got closer, the strange tingling in her hands began again. I don't need this now...she thought, shaking them as she ran. Looking up, she was only a few feet away. She readied her blaster edge, clicking a pinwheel into place on the firing mechanism. There were guards everywhere, picking the least conspicuous place to enter, she slipped through the gate. Stopping a moment to look at a crashed car, its front end crumpled into the mangled gate. Squall's handiwork...
Once inside the gateway, she could hear a metal clanking, grunts....the sounds of a fight. Rinoa hurried, bending down and running down the length of the float, to avoid distracting Squall. Near the head of the float she climbed on, the pain in her hands throbbing once more. She looked up, Squall and Seifer were fighting....Seifer....Rinoa gasped....I thought he was dead....
The blonde man took note of his ex-girlfriend as she mounted the float. She paused for a moment, considering the two young men fighting. Her small hand groping her necklace as she whispered Squall's name with a look of concern. Seifer knew then. Sharp green eyes seeing exactly what had made Leonhart better. She had. His ex, she had a way about her, always bringing out the best in people. A light that inspired greatness and begged protection. Leonhart had taken his job, and Seifer felt a furious surge of jealousy well within him. The boy was trying to appropriate a dream that was by all rights his. Always lauded, always the winner, the hero, the fucking good student, Garden's favorite little pretty boy....He has the world and now her.... He takes everything that's mine and makes it his....It's my fucking dream, she was mine first and now....Fucking bastard SeeD, I'll kill you.....
Rinoa tried to work out how Seifer was alive and why he and Squall were fighting. She saw his eyes move to her, glancing her way with a look of rage. The fight looked serious, and she was afraid that they might hurt each other. Instinctively she grabbed her necklace for strength. Squall could take care of himself, she only hoped no one would get hurt. Seifer didn't matter now, the Sorceress hadn't noticed her yet. Squall was too busy to take her out, someone else would have to do it. It's up to me....
With determination, Rinoa started to raise her pinwheel, but stopped abruptly. The strange urge to hold out her hand engulfed her again. She blinked lazily, her body unwilling to fire her weapon, a force that was beyond her commanding her very soul. Weapons will not save her....What? Rinoa shook her head uncomprehendingly. There was no answer, only the silence of her own mind. Somehow, she knew what she had to do, though she had no idea why. Trusting her feelings, she let go and gave in to instinct. Her heart beat faster, a wash of dizziness overwhelmed her, blurring her vision temporarily. A long dormant power awakened, pulsing energy through her body causing the pain in her hands to grow, but strangely it didn't bother her that much now. She lowered her pinwheel, her right hand rising in its place. Hair fluttering in a nonexistent breeze.
The tingling crawled up her arm, to her shoulder; it felt so warm. No, it burned. Breathing in and out rapidly. She could feel the flow of energy coursing through her veins, its power was hers and she was its. Dark eyes glazing over as she gave more of herself over to the spell, it felt so natural. An orange light began to flicker from between her outstretched fingers.....just like when Squall used that fire spell...she thought dreamily. Rinoa watched with fascination as a ball of fire slowly gathered in her palm. Her eyes went wide...How am I? She watched as the flames flitted in the breeze. She'd made them, all by herself, with no Guardian Force junctioned. Her feelings mixed.... fear.... amazement..... giddiness.... Not thinking for a moment that the Sorceress would take notice of her as she stood there, staring at her own hand for an eternity.
The fight had become hopelessly one sided, Squall had beaten Seifer down. It was barely worth his effort to continue to toy with him. It would've ended earlier but that he was so damn persistent. No matter how many times Squall thought he had him, Seifer'd get back up, spouting nonsense about being the Sorceress's knight. Squall didn't care what he called himself, he just wanted Seifer to pass out already so he could do his job. Seifer took another wide swing at him, Squall deftly spun around, dodging the blow. As he prepared to strike, he noticed a figure at the end of the float. Rinoa....why'd she follow him?
As he fought, he glanced at her again...something wasn't right. She just stood there, her arm outstretched. He thought he could see...flames....she didn't have magic, the hell? Seifer started to scream at him to pay attention. Squall turned back to his opponent, a look of tired annoyance on his face. Seifer stumbled around, too messed up to fight anymore but still miraculously on his feet. He lurched over to Squall, barely able to hold up his blade. Seifer was obviously fatigued and little threat to anyone but himself. Bored with the fight, Squall sucker punched him and watched with disinterest as Seifer fought unconsciousness as it came slowly for him. While Seifer struggled, Squall took a moment and looked over at Rinoa, still standing there....quickly glancing behind him, following her gaze.
The Sorceress had been quietly watching their fight, but now she too was standing. A strange electricity filled the air, crackling in anticipation. Edea had finally taken note of Rinoa and began to gather spheres of light in her hand. He looked back and forth, realizing what was going to happen. His opponenet still stood, wavering between passing out and wanting to continue the fight. Squall socked him as hard as he could, putting an end to Seifer's fruitless struggle to stay awake and fighting. Jumping over his opponent's prone body, Squall ran as fast as he could, hoping to get to Rinoa before it was too late.
The Sorceress glared at the girl at the end of the float. The dragons hadn't killed her, she was resourceful, better than she gave her credit for. This time she wouldn't escape death so easily. The spheres of light slowly knit together, forming an enormous jagged icicle. The Sorceress cursed herself. It was taking too long, she'd used up too much energy forming the dragons. That boy might make it over before she'd be able to kill the girl. Not that she cared either way, death was her art and she took great joy in expressing her art form to as many as possible. The icicle formed, narrowing her eyes, the Sorceress sent it flying.
Squall leapt forward, heart hammering in his chest as he screamed at Rinoa to get out of the way, to move...but she didn't. She stood there like a zombie. A sound came from behind, whatever the Sorceress had planned to do, she'd set into motion. He had no time....closing in on Rinoa, he reached out, shoving her off the float. She tumbled to the ground, landing hard on her arm, the bone popping as she hit pavement.. Awakening from her dream world, she looked up at Squall, looking down at her. Time stopping as they gazed at each other. She remembered the dance, when she had to leave...he had the same look on his face now as he did then. No...she whispered.....A sudden flash of blue light, piercing his right shoulder....SQUALL!!!.....the icicle hitting its mark, sliding all the way through his shoulder and out his back...wincing in pain as it tore through his chest.....his gaze holding onto hers and just like in his dream, she was calling for him, her mouth moving soundlessly....I'm sorry.... his mouth open in a silent cry of pain....knees buckling....arcing backwards as he fell off the float........dawning realization as she watched him fall....so slow.....she screamed....he hit the ground with a horrible thud, the icicle shattering as he came to rest.
She scrambled over to his side, touching his arm gently. He was still alive, just barely. His eyes fluttered, opening lazily to look up at her. He tried to speak, but she put a hand to his mouth and shook her head. Rinoa's lip trembled as she pushed back the tears, trying so hard to be strong. She looked at his wound, a hole the size of her fist with jagged pieces of the icicle still imbedded in his shoulder. The cold slowed his bleeding, but it didn't stop it, nor did it stop the massive internal damage. Blood began to pool slowly behind him, taking his life with it. I don't want to be alone, was the one thought that entered his mind.
Barely holding tears at bay, she tried to remember basic first aid. Hands trembling, she took off his glove and checked his pulse with her good hand. She desperately searched, her mind unable to remember exactly what steps she should take. Panic stalling her thought process. He looked up at her through lided eyes, fear shining in pale blue orbs. What should I do? Without thinking, she placed her hand over his. That simple human contact gave a kind of peace to his mind, enough to let him give into the pain and start to let go. He's going to die...Rinoa beat the thought back, hoping that maybe... Something deep inside told her the wounds were too severe, though her mind would not accept it.
Suddenly, his breathing became more labored, as his bleeding lungs filled with fluid. His chest rattled, and the pause between breaths became longer. A trickle of blood fell from the corner of his mouth, signaling the end. Squall felt life leaving his body, escaping like the embers of a campfire.....spiraling upwards, into the star lit heavens. He breathed in deeply, his lungs burning like fire. Letting darkness overcome him, his last sight was Rinoa's pain stricken face. He shuddered with his last long breath, eyes half closed and staring vacantly at the sky.
"Squall, .....please don't...." Rinoa breathed, shaking her head, rejecting his death.
The tears came, flowing down her face like a vast river, flooding as the snow melts in spring. Rinoa let out a choked gasp, she didn't know what to do... feeling so damn useless. Her mind wandering back to her mother's death. Sitting in the waiting room at the hospital with relatives she barely knew. All of them trying to keep her from the pain; not knowing that it just made it worse. Would this moment have been easier if she'd been able to see her mother? Why? Stupid ass, WHY? We weren't even friends.....I barely knew you! WHY!! No job is worth your life....so why? why? why?why? It should have been me, you fucking idiot, it should have been me!!!.....Why didn't you just let it hit me? God, please help....Why? Still holding his hand, she helplessly stared down at his lifeless body, sobbing softly. Rinoa closed her eyes, praying silently through her tears.
Her right hand was still prickling, a constant hum of painful energy, though she didn't notice it through her grief. The power she had built up hadn't been dispersed, and her hand was illuminated with warmth, the breath of life itself gathering in her palm. The light pulsed, beating in time to Rinoa's own heart beat, and with a sudden push it glowed more softly as it transferred from her hand to his. The powers that be answering their daughter's prayer.
Nothing in the world mattered anymore, shutting out all exterior noises to her internal sorrow. Fate had its way with her again, her life running in a vast never-ending cycle of pain and regret. Rinoa cried, until she was too physically tired to continue and opted to keep silent vigil over Squall's body. The world slowly came back to her and she looked up, wondering when she'd be dragged away. Looking down, contemplating the blood that now stained her clothes and hands...like small red storm clouds, spreading their stain over a pristine sky.......blood over perfect blue.....she waited.
Moments later, the sounds of a scuffle broke out, a cry of surprise and suddenly Quistis came stumbling around the float, Galbadian soldiers in pursuit. She skidded to a stop as she came to the scene, her eyes darting from Rinoa to Squall's corpse, a small pool of blood around his back. There was no time for her to really comprehend the scene, the guards took their opening and grabbed Quistis. They pinned her to the ground and cuffed her, bringing her up and pushing her out toward the street. More came from the other side and roughly brought Rinoa to her feet, wrenching her arm up and back as they cuffed her as well. She cried out in anger, as they trampled over Squall's body, tearing her from her vigil.
Both women gave in and as the guards lead them away, and once they were pushed into the street, their eyes met and it seemed time slowed again. The guards lead them to separate vehicles, Rinoa strained to keep contact, she need to make sure everything was alright. That Quistis didn't hate her, didn't blame her, didn't think that.....Rinoa struggled, breaking away long enough to catch Quistis' attention once more. Quistis turned, her face beautifully regal despite the situation, tears staining her alabaster cheeks. She glared at Rinoa in accusation, her eyes cold, full of regret that she'd allowed this girl to come with them. The look was a sharp slap in the face for Rinoa, leaving her short of breath and light headed. Those eyes told Rinoa what she knew already, this was all her fault. She was a freak, a monster like Edea and she'd cost her friend his life. Should have been me.....
They were dragged out into the street, flood lights blazing to light the scene, police barricades holding the roaring crowd back. The sound became muffled, as if Rinoa was in and out of the world at the same time, black dots rolling across her vision. It occurred to her that she might just faint again, a feat which baffled her. She'd always prided herself on being strong, and this weakness just confirmed that something was dreadfully wrong with her. This was the second time in her life that she'd fainted.... funny. The world went black and all she could hear were the warm voices from beyond.