Edonil: I felt like writing a one-shot. No particular reason… I guess I just got a little tired of my other fanfic. I'll go work on it when this is done… Oh, by the way, this fanfic takes place during the battle on disk three with Garland. Kuja had to be doing something while he waited for the fight to end. Perhaps writing in his diary?

Disclaimer: I do not own FFIX. I do not own the characters I am about to mention. Please don't sue me.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I got into the Invincible. Of course, there was no way I could not; I am far too tremendously awe-inspiring not to succeed. Now I am waiting for Garland to finish with my monkey-tailed inferior; why should I dirty my hands killing Garland when that second-rate miscreant can do it for me?

Speaking of that foolish ruffian, he just found out about his past. From what I've seen of his discussion with Garland, he was not exactly delighted with the news. That's another reason he isn't as spectacularly wonderful as me; he thinks that good will triumph, and that evil will be subdued. He is a moron. Evil will never be subdued! But that overgrown primate is such a fool… 'You don't need a reason to help people.' Pah! A ridiculous philosophy! Helping others is useless; look at Zidane! He helped others, and now he's here on Terra fighting his creator after hearing the worst thing he's ever heard in his life! I, now… I prefer, 'You don't need a reason to help yourself.' Not only does it have a nice ring to it, it is very practical. I helped myself, and gained the power to control Gaia, am now master of the Invincible, and will soon destroy the single-minded fool Garland! Life is good… But revenge will be better.

It seems that my ridiculous replacement has defeated my moronic maker. Splendid! It will be much easier to dispose of Zidane… But first I must steal Garland's soul! And with that soul… I will rule the world! Both worlds!

Life is wonderful!

Kuja, The Emperor of the Universe-to-be

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Dear Diary,

Bad news. I'm gonna die. And I sort of destroyed Terra. I guess I lost my temper… I'm depressed. Is the ex-Emperor of the Universe-to-be allowed to get drunk? I think I want to get drunk now. Drown my sorrows…

Life isn't fair.

Kuja, The ex-Emperor of the Universe-to-be

Edonil: Yeah, um… Random writing can't be healthy when I create stuff like that… I don't really like it… Meh. R&R, please!