Who we will become

By Bubbles

Authors Note: This is a story that involves several episodes of BMW. I got the idea when I bought the first two seasons on DVD. So I took a select few episodes and use the actual lines and give an insight on what they are really thinking. It is slash but it won't be at first. I want to show the relationship between Cory and Shawn grow. So it will take a while to get there.

Disclaimer: I don't own BMW or the characters. This dialogue is also NOT mine. The episode "Santa's Little Helper" was written by Susan Estelle Jansen. This story will become slash later. (M/M relationship) if you do not like this then don't read. I will not appreciate any flames because you have been warned. These first few chapters will be purely friendship. So if you like that then read until I say that the slash has started. Please enjoy.

"Santa's Little Helper"

Cory and I have always been best friends, since as far as I could remember. I don't remember the day we actually said we were best friends. I don't think I ever said, "Gee Cor, you're my best friend!" and he never responded, "You're my best friend too Shawn!" It was never anything like that. It was just something that we always knew. No one needed to say it.

Something had changed though. When my dad told me that he got laid off, I knew that things were gonna be different. I knew I had always been not as rich as my friends, but now it was going to be worse than that. I couldn't tell anybody. Not even Cory.

That was hard though. I always told Cory everything. It's what best friends did right? I just couldn't get the nerve to say this. Also it was Christmas. Cory was going on and on about how many gifts he was getting for Christmas. I had to keep lying just to keep up. It was killing me though.

And that geek Minkus! He kept asking me for the stupid money. I didn't have it, but how long was I going to have to keep avoiding it?

I didn't have time to think about any of that. Cory had called and wanted me to hurry to his house. I walked in his backyard and found him sitting on the deck. When he saw me he stood up quickly and presented me with a big box.

"Tada!" He said smiling.

"What?" I asked, not understanding.

"For you," He pushed the box a little closer.

"What is it?"

"Open it, for you from me!" He said handing it to me.

"It's not going to blow up is it?" I wouldn't be too shocked. But it wasn't April Fools day or anything.

"Open it! Open it!" He kept saying. He looked so excited. It was funny. "Here let me open it!" He grabbed the box from me and opened it. I couldn't help but to laugh. He was funny when he was like that.

When he finally opened the box he pulled out a basketball, just like the one he had been going on and on about. What was he doing?

"A real leather NBA certified dribbles like a dream basketball. I'm giving it to you, don't you love me?" He was smiling big and I was as confused as ever.

"Why are you giving this to me?" I asked. Cory looked down and he thought for second.

"Because it's Christmas." He finally said looking back up at me.

"So, we never give each other stuff for Christmas."

"Yeah, but this year's kind of different." He said gently.

"Why?" He looked down again.

"Because…" He mumbled. "You're my best friend." That didn't make sense.

"But I wasn't last year?" He was hiding something.

"No, you were, it's just—"

"Cory, best friends don't lie to each other." I reminded him. He looked at me for a minute before going on.

"Ok, look Shawn; I gave you this because I didn't think you'd be getting that many gifts this year." My stomach dropped, he couldn't know. I kept cool. I smiled and stood up.

"Hey I told you, I'm getting a ton of stuff. I don't need a basketball." I threw the ball back to him, ran my hands through my hair and sat on the fence. "My dad already got me two."

"Look, Shawn; best friends don't lie to each other." Cory said coming over to me.

"What are you talking about?" Please no, please have no idea!

"I know about your dad getting laid off." I felt anger rise up. I didn't expect it, but it came.

"Says who?" I said firmly.

"Say's my dad."

"Oh, so what'd you do? Go tell everyone?" I could just see it now. At school all the kids would know how poor I was and that I wasn't getting all the cool things everyone else somehow always got.

"No, I didn't tell anyone. Look Shawn, I'm trying to give you a nice gift so you don't have a tiny Tim Christmas and you're acting like you're mad at me." He threw the ball back at me.

"Oh, so I'm supposed to be all happy that you gave me some bogus gift?"

"That's not a bogus gift. That's a totally major gift. It's my best gift and I was nice enough to give it to you." Ok, that pissed me off. I didn't want some pity gift, especially from him.

"Yeah, well, keep it." I threw the ball back at him. "I don't want your basketball."

"You'd rather have something for Christmas than nothing at all?" The anger was building up even more.

"I'd rather have nothing for Christmas than your lousy charity." I knocked the ball out of his hands and walked away.

"Hey Shawn, Christmas is about charity. You should be thanking me!" I needed to get away, fast.

The next day at school was so long. Not just because it was the last day before Christmas vacation but because I wasn't talking to Cory. I couldn't after yesterday. What kind of friend would give me a gift just because he felt sorry for me? I mean, I understand that and it's nice and all, but it was me and Cory. We were past things like that. We'd known each other to long for that. We never had a serious problem though. This was our first serious fight.

When the lunch bell rang, I walked into the cafeteria with my sack lunch and saw Cory sitting at our normal table. He was alone. Larry or any of our other friends weren't with him. They had all figured out it was a waste to try to get in with us. It's Cory and Shawn. Not Cory, Shawn and company.

Cory looked at me and I looked back at him. I wanted to go sit with him. I wanted to make up with him. This was a time when I needed him, more than ever. But I couldn't. So I went to an empty table and sat down. Before I knew it, Minkus had found his way over to me. His pocket pad pulled out and pencil in hand.

"Shawn, it's tomorrow." He said. I really didn't want him around now. I wasn't in the mood.

"What are you talking about?" I asked not looking at him.

"I'm talking about the class present." Shit. "You still haven't paid you're $5."

"Fine," I said quickly. I felt someone watching. I didn't want them to know too. "I'll give it to you; I just don't have it on me." Go away, please go away.

"I'm going to buy the present tonight, so today is the last day you have to give me the money."

"I said I'll give it to you!" Didn't this guy take a hint?

"If you don't give me five dollars right now I'm not going to put your name on the card and the entire 6th grade class of Jefferson Elementy is going to know you're a dead beat." Dead beat. It stung. It caused a ringing in my ear. My heart stopped. Everyone would know. I starred back at Minkus. I couldn't believe this was the guy that held the power over me. He could make my life a living nightmare. Karma, Topanga would say.

"Fine," I said defeated. "Then I am, ok?" I got up and got out of there as fast as I could.

Later in class, almost at the end of the day, Mr. Feeny was talking about that dumb book again. I knew the moment was coming up.

"I hope our reading of "A Christmas Carol" has interested all of you in other works by Charles Dickson's." Mr. Feeny was saying.

"No, but I will watch the David Copperfield special." Cory said. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to joke around with him in class. We were a duo. But I had to remind that he was flying solo this time. The Minkus raised his hand. No, I thought, this is it.

I stopped listening. I knew it was a dictionary or something. Then he had the card. This was it. Everyone was going to know. I wanted to disappear. Better yet, die. Couldn't I just die suddenly of something?

"And all our names are written below." Gee Minkus, just point it out.

"Yes, Minkus all the way down to…Hunter." What? "You all seem to be there." He looked up and I knew he was looking at me for just a minute. He smiled. I was ok. I was still alive and no one knew. "Well," He said looking to the rest of the class. "I am very touched. This means a great deal to me. So thank you very much." That's when the bell rang and everyone jumped up with Cory leading them.

"Merry Christmas! Have a wonderful vacation!" Mr. Feeny yelled over the bustle of everyone.

"Hurry!" Cory yelled pushing people out the door. "Get out while you still can! Hurry!"

"Don't forget to read two books off the reading list." Mr. Feeny said as an after thought.

"Nobody heard that!" Cory said popping his head back in the door. I looked at Minkus. He was writing it down on a piece of paper. He would read the books and Mr. Feeny would mention it. I would throw something at him. Maybe this time I wouldn't. He put me on the card. Why did he do that? Maybe he was in the Christmas sprit

I waited outside of class for him to tell him thank you. That was the least I could do.

"Hey Minkus," I said when he walked out. "Thanks for putting my name on the card." Minkus looked confused.

"Don't thank me. Your dead beat friend finally paid you back the money he owed you." What was he talking about? Was he talking about Cory? There was no one else.

"What?" I said.

"It's ok. You don't have to cover for him anymore. He told me how you lent him five dollars and he didn't give it back."

"Cory told you that?" I asked.

"Yes, and he handed me five bucks." What?

"He gave you his five dollars?" I asked in disbelief. Minkus just shrugged.

"I guess his conscience finally got the better of him." He then turned and started to walk away.

"Hey Minkus," I said. He turned and looked at me. "Merry Christmas," He looked surprised.

"Really?" I shrugged and smiled. He looked down at the ground and walked over to me. "Merry Christmas to you too." He said looking up at me. Then with a smile he walked away.

I really couldn't believe Cory would do this for me. Actually I could. He was my best friend. That is what best friends did. This was better than a basketball. He didn't come looking for a thanks. I needed to talk to him.

I found him later that afternoon sitting out in his backyard in the same place he had been in before. He had that basketball looking really dejected. His cheerfulness at school had been an act. I knew. He was my best friend and I could tell. Before I had come I had to get something. The perfect thing to let him know everything was ok. When I walked up it took him a minute to notice me. When he did I could tell he was trying to decide what to do. Should he smile? Say hello? Or tell me to get lost. So I took the first step.

"Hey," I said. I could tell he was relieved the pressure was off him.

"Hey," He said back. I went over and sat down next to him.

"You know, I was cleaning out my garbage and I found something you might like." I showed it to him.

"A net!" He said excitingly. I smiled.

"It belonged to my dad. It's real old so it might not be genuine imitation nylon." He looked even more excited.

"Whoa, if it's that old it could be actual nylon!"

"It's yours." I told him. He smiled at me.

"Cool, thanks." He said setting it down.

"Figure this way, you get the net and I get the ball." He gave me a confused look.

"What ball?" He asked.

"You gave that to me." I reminded him, smiling and pointing to the ball. Cory smiled tentively, still trying to figure out what was going on.

"I think I remember you throwing this back in my face." He said.

"Oh, so every time you miss a pass we're not gonna be friends." Cory's face lit up. He knew everything was ok.

"You want this ball?" He said standing up. "Well you're gonna have to take it from me, aren't you?" He dribbled the ball and tried to block me, but I was quicker and got the ball away from him easily. "Nice try." He said a little disappointed.

"Think you can steal it from me?" I asked. I knew how tell him that everything was 100 ok now.

"Yeah," I began to dribble again and he came toward me. I didn't try to keep it away from him and he stole it quickly. "Hey! I did it!" He said excitingly.

"Nah," I said waving a hand at him. "I let you have it. It was charity." He stopped and starred at me. Everything is ok Cory. I was really saying. I know what you did for and I thank you so much. It was the best thing you could ever do, Christmas or not. That what I was really telling him. "It's Christmas." Cory smiled. He understood. He knew what I was telling him. He turned and we ran off to play ball.

Later as I was leaving his house, his mom had given me cookies for my parents and said merry Christmas to his family.

"Hoops here tomorrow?" He asked.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked smiling. "You're the only guy on the block with a net." He nodded and then a more serious look came on his face.

"Shawn?" He said. "Are you going to be ok?"

"Hey, when I've got friends, I can get through anything." I meant it. He smiled and I turned to leave. I looked back at the door and smiled. Not just any friend could I get through this. Cory and I could get through it. He was my best friend even though I couldn't remember how it began. With one more look, I headed home.

More to come! Let me know what you think!