How I Feel
Chapter the third: You Know It'll Be Hard
The phone went dead. The dial tone echoed through the room. Conan stood up and went to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He threw open the closet and got dressed. He adjusted his bowtie and clipped on his watch.
'I swore I'd never do it again.' He thought to himself. 'But I won't let anyone get hurt because of me.'
He slid on his shoes and replaced his glasses on his face and adjusted his sleeves. He stood strait and determined and walked out into the kitchen. The police where there, and they were listening to a recording of the phone call. Conan stood in the hallway, listening intently. The kidnappers knew their job; there were no sounds, no clues to where they could be. So he'd just have to go and find Heiji on his own.
"Where do you think you're going?" Ran asked.
"Out," he said.
"Out where?" she asked.
"To find Heiji," he answered. He was startled when Ran pulled him into a tight hug and he felt her tears soaking into his shirt.
"Oh Conan-kun," she whispered. She sniffed loudly and sobbed. "This must be horrible for you. But we'll find him, Conan-kun. I promise."
"I know," he said. "But I'm going to find him."
"Conan-kun," she started.
"No. Tell the police to leave. Shinichi's turning himself in."
He left.
Ran stayed on her knees, staring at the open door which Conan just left. He was acting so strangely. First it was as if he didn't care about anything, now he was acting like he was going to find Shinichi and save Heiji himself.
Ran was stuck. She loved Heiji, as one of her best friends. She didn't want anything to happen to him. But then, she loved Shinichi. She really loved Shinichi. But Shinichi was Heiji's ransom. She didn't know who to save. She didn't know what to do. If Shinichi turned himself in, she'd get her friend back, but the boy she loved would be killed or hurt. This was a terrible, horrible situation. She had these to worry about, as well as Conan.
"Dad," she called, getting to her feet. He looked over.
"Ran?" he asked.
"Conan-kun left," she said. "I'm afraid he went looking for Heiji."
"What's he going to do? I mean he's just a little kid," Kogoro said.
"But what if he finds them and gets hurt," she said.
"He won't. We don't have any clues onto where Hattori is being held," her father replied calmly.
"You know Conan-kun always gets into things he shouldn't," Ran said.
"Yeah," Kogoro grunted.
"He said he was going to find Shinichi and turn him in," she said.
"He went to find Kudou?" Inspector Megure asked.
"He said, 'Tell the police to leave, Shinichi's turning himself in.' I'm worried. I don't know what to do," she said.
"Don't worry, we'll get Hattori, and make sure nothing happens to Kudou. There's nothing to be worried about," Inspector Megure said.
'Where do I start? Where do I start?' Shinichi thought to himself. He was wandering around the streets, trying to figure out how to find Heiji. He only knew a little bit about what happened to Heiji.
One, he was attacked from behind, sometime around midnight a week before. About the time he'd gotten mad after trying to lecture him.
Two, whoever kidnapped him was clever. Judging by the fact his words were slurred and he sounded as though he were almost sleeping, and he said something about a needle like prick in his neck, it was safe to say that they were keeping him drugged. But why would they do that? Why would they kidnap Heiji if they wanted Shinichi? And why would they drug him?
He was lost in thought and didn't notice he'd wandered into school grounds. The kids were all laughing and playing, not a care in the world. He envied them against his will. He ran away quickly before anyone saw him.
Later that night, he entered the Mouri apartment. Ran didn't even scold him for being late. She was awake, sitting on the couch with her father, watching the news. There was a special on the latest Yoko Okino movie being showed. He went and sat next to her.
"Maybe you should try to sleep, Conan-kun," she whispered. He shook his head, taking a deep breath.
"I won't be able to," he said. She nodded.
"I understand. Come here," she said, patting her lap. He crawled over and snuggled up to her in a childlike way.
"Thanks Ran-neechan," he whispered.
"It must be so hard for you," she whispered back. "You had a fight with him, and now he's been kidnapped."
"I feel terrible," he said.
"It'll be okay, Conan-kun. Heiji will be okay," she told him.
The phone rang.
Kogoro looked up. Ran and Conan stared at the insistently ringing telephone. Ran reached out shakily and pressed the speaker button.
"M-Mouri Detective Agency," she said. There was a low grunt and a click.
"Ran..." Heiji's voice whispered.
"Oh thank God you're alive, Heiji!" she cried. "Are you okay?"
"Pretty – kinda – don't know," he slurred. "Dizzy."
'I was right,' Shinichi thought grimly. 'They are keeping him drugged.'
"What's happening? What are they doing to you?" Kogoro asked.
"No small talk. He's alive, for now," the disguised kidnapper's voice snapped. "He's fine, he's healthy. But all that can change, quickly."
"What do you want?" Ran asked.
"We told you already. We want Kudou. Tell him to go to the museum at midnight tonight. Tell him to sneak in and wait for us on the fourth floor. Don't worry about security or alarms or cameras. They'll be taken care of. But if he's not there, Hattori's going to have a little, shall we say, accident," the kidnapper said, laughing sickeningly. Ran looked down at Conan. He stared down at his hands, thinking quickly. What choice did he have? Either he died or Heiji died. But he wasn't Shinichi, he was Conan. And Conan was stuck.
"We – we don't know where Shinichi is," Ran stuttered.
"Oh, that's so sad for you. If you don't find him, and he's not at museum tonight, you're going to have a dead body on your hands. We can promise you that. Say goodbye," the kidnapper said. There was a shift and Heiji breathed slowly into the receiver.
"Heiji?" Ran whispered.
"Where – Kazuha?" Heiji slurred.
"She's at home, in Osaka. They're looking for you everywhere. You've got to hold on, Heiji," Ran sniffed. "You're father is worried sick. And Kazuha is scared. You have to hang in there, for them."
"P – Please," Heiji stuttered.
"What is it, Hattori?" Kogoro asked gently.
"If I don't –," he started. He gasped audibly in pain then groaned.
"If you don't what?" Ran asked.
"Live," Heiji whispered.
"You're not going to die," she said.
"If I die – tell Kazuha," he whispered. "'Love her."
"You can tell her yourself, Heiji," Ran whispered, tears forming in her eyes. "She wants to hear it from you."
"Want her to –," a groan, "Going to –" he wasn't finishing sentences. They must have injected another drug into him. There was a loud click and the line went dead.
"I'll call the Inspector," Kogoro broke the silence. He dialed the number. Conan slid off Ran's lap and went into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Kogoro finished talking and hung up the phone.
"What did they say?" Ran asked quietly.
"He said the police force is doing their best to find Kudou, but they haven't had any luck. Kudou disappeared and they don't have any way of finding him," her father replied.
"So now we have to missing detectives," Ran whispered.
"That's what it looks like," Kogoro said gravely.
"Poor Conan-kun," she whispered. "He was fighting with Heiji before he was kidnapped, and he feels guilty because he's so much like Shinichi. I don't know what to do, I feel horrible."
"The kid's smart. He'll be okay," Kogoro said.
"I don't know dad," she whispered. "I don't know if he can get through this one. He tries to act tough, but I know he isn't strong enough for this one. And he won't accept help."
"Let's just hope he doesn't try anything stupid," Kogoro said. The front door opened and slammed. They exchanged a glance then ran to the window and looked down. Conan, a backpack slung over one shoulder, was running away from the apartment. Away from Ran, away from Kogoro. Away from what he used to know.
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