"Baby, do you want to put the brownie mix into the basket with the rest of the things?" Olivia asked Isabella as she skipped alongside her, down the grocery aisle.

"I can carry it," the child squeaked in response.

Of course, she would want to carry the desert. It was again a Friday, three weeks after she had allowed Elliot to visit her place. And he'd been bugging her about hanging out since then. Surprisingly though, he hadn't been too pushy. He would ask if he could come over and a few times she had offered instead to meet him somewhere. After continuing to pester Huang, who she had to remember to get a Christmas gift for this year, he'd told her that he thought she was overthinking it and if anything were to cause her to screw this up it would be that. If she just went along with it as if Elliot's presence in their lives were normal and expected, then Isabella likely wouldn't give it a second thought. So she had given in this time when he'd asked to come over, and now she was in the store collecting food items to prepare dinner for the evening.

"Come'on Belles, we gotta get home," she stated after seeing the child had stopped in front of another row of sweets stocked at toddler eye level. "Daddy's on his way over, so we need to hurry if you want to see him."

That was the other thing her talks with Huang had led her to do. Referring to Elliot as Daddy when addressing Isabella instead of Elliot or El. He had said more than likely it was a little confusing to her as to how she should address him since he referred to himself as Daddy when interacting with her. And it could make her doubt as she got older and understood more, just what role he was supposed to take in her life. At first, it was weird. And she would cringe every time, but eventually, it had become second nature.

The little girl resumed her place skipping alongside her and she continued throughout the grocery store, Noah strapped to her chest in the Boba carrier. She had just gotten the last item on her list and was heading to the counter when someone stepped in front of her. She immediately stepped back. After having a second to realize who it was and register the furious look on the woman's face, she dropped the basket and grabbed Isabella's hand pulling the child closer to her and making sure to keep a firm grip on her.

"Yeah, I assume that I am the last person you expected to run into," Kathy spat at her as she noticed the shocked look on the brunette's face.

Olivia stared at her and she noticed as Kathy's eyes drifted down to Isabella and she pulled the little girl further behind her leg, unsure of just what the hell was about to happen.

"That her?" Kathy asked, and she could tell the woman was fuming. "The little bastard?"

Olivia had to catch herself from responding the way she wanted to. The woman's comment made her more inclined to cause a scene rather than avoid one. She knew she could take Kathy, hell a part of her would enjoy it after that comment. But when she saw Eli pop up next to his mother coming to an abrupt halt after immediately picking up on the tension of the situation. She remembered she had her own children with her. And her anxiety started to kick up as she realized they could be in harm's way.

Eli looked from his mother to her, then back before letting out a shaky, "Mom?"

"Kathy, maybe you should try to calm down." she offered to reason, but the woman interrupted her.

A look of perplexity overcame the blond's face before a sinister smile overtook her future. "I'm sorry. Is the bitch who fucked my husband telling me that I should calm down."

"Okay, I'm leaving," Olivia said, knowing there was no use in trying to control this situation. As long as they were in each other's vicinity this would not end well. She didn't want Eli to witness this meltdown let alone her own children.

"Com'on Baby," she said, trying to turn and go the opposite way, but making sure to keep hold of her daughter's hand. "Let's go."

"NO!" she heard the woman bellow but she continued walking. "You are going to stand here and talk to me Olivia. You can at least face me after what you did."

She kept walking and was going to ignore her until she felt the woman grab her shoulder and pull her back towards her in an attempt to bring them face to face again. The action caused her body to jerk backward, jostling both of her kids more than either of them was obviously comfortable with. Noah began to fuss in the carrier and Isabella's distressed, "Mommy," shifted her into fight mode. She had to get them clear of the danger.

She grabbed Kathy's hand, holding onto it as she extended her own arm, pushing the woman's palm into her own chest and shoving forcefully. She saw Kathy's face shift into a pure rage as she took another step toward her. She placed a hand on Noah's back to further shield him from the impending attack and made sure Isabella was securely behind her before she dropped her hand, preparing to defend them as best she could.

She hadn't even noticed Eli had disappeared until he showed up again with another blond woman that looked similar to his mother. The woman quickly grabbed hold of Kathy by her shoulders, stopping her.

"Kath, what are you doing? What's going on ?"

"That's her," Kathy cried rather loudly drawing onlookers' attention. Olivia's eyes darted around noticing all of the eyes drawing in their direction. She looked at the new blond and the woman's face registered recognition. She felt a panic attack coming on, for more reasons than one. She stooped quickly and scooped up Isabella before rushing out of the store. She could still hear Kathy screeching behind her.

He knocked on the door once more. A little harder this time, unsure of what he would find on the other side. He'd called when he was about ten minutes out but had received no answer. He had taken off early to make dinner with her and the kids. Some would probably think he was crazy to be this excited about a dinner date that involved a three-year-old and a ten-month-old, but he was. He'd called again once he'd parked down the block from her place. He had gotten an angry, "What Elliot?"

He'd stuttered. Confused at the sudden anger after having been granted his request to come over. Having only talked to her a couple of hours before when she was seemingly in a good mood.

"Liv, I'm outside. I just thought I would call before I head up."

"I'm…" he heard Noah crying in the background. He got louder as he assumed she'd gone to tend to him. "Elliot tonight is not a good night. You can come…"

"I'm already here," he'd told her. No. He wasn't going to let her turn him away that easily. He was looking forward to this too much to be turned away so easily.

"Elliot," she said in a shaky voice. Noah had quieted but he could tell she was close to tears now.

"Liv, what's wrong? What happened?" Silence.

"Just, let me come up and you can tell me what happened."

"No, Elliot. Go, home," he could tell at this point she was crying. Before he could reply, he heard the call disconnect.

He'd stood on the sidewalk, pacing back and forth intermittently trying to decide his best course of action. Yes. He'd been practicing respecting her boundaries, but he just didn't feel great about walking away from this one. It didn't take long before he was flashing his badge to get into the building and making his way up to her condo.

"Liv," he called about the knock again but the door was wrenched open. The look she gave him made him almost turn on his heels and run away. "Hey," he breathed out unsurely.

"What the hell is your problem?" she yelled at him. "I told you I didn't want you here."

"Liv, I'm sorry, but…" she cut him off.

"No buts Elliot. I told you to fucking leave, so why the hell are you standing at my door?"

He didn't answer, stunned into silence. He had no idea what could have happened in such a short amount of time to cause her to cry and at the same time become this irate. His eyes were drawn down to the little girl standing at her feet. He noticed the tears in her eyes as she looked anxiously back and forth between them. His distraction drew her eyes in the same direction. Isabella sniffed once, clearly holding back her own tears and that was all it took to break her mother.

"Shit," she mumbled to herself before she turned and retreated further into her home. Passing the baby that was crawling toward the doorway, and down the hallway. He stood there a little shocked and unsure how to proceed next as he and the little girl watched her disappear. He heard a door close and suddenly the little eyes were on him. Her face broke as the tears finally escaped down her full cheeks.

It prompted him to move inside and close the door. "Come here, baby," he said and immediately Isabella was reaching out for him, needing at least one of her adults to provide her some comfort. "It's okay." He stroked her back as she buried her head in his neck, continuing her sniffing as he felt his skin becoming damp from snot or tears, he wasn't sure. He stepped further into the apartment and couldn't help the smile that came to his face as Noah sat back on his hunches and raised both his little arms up to him, clearly wanting to be held as well.

"Come here, buddy," he said stooping to scoop the little boy up. He kissed them both on the temple, having gone all day and the day before without seeing them. He peered down the hallway as he passed by, knowing he needed to put himself back in the line of fire and check on her.

He sat on the couch with both kids still in his arms. It didn't take long, some intense cuddling and distractions were all it took to get a smile out of Isabella and to get Noah babbling back at him. He changed the television to some cartoon channel and placed Noah on the floor in front of the couch so he wouldn't fall off. "I'm gonna go check on Mommy," he told them and neither of them protested so he left down the hall.

"Liv," he called out softly outside of the door that had the only light coming from under the frame. No answer, he tried the door and was surprised to find it unlocked. "I'm coming in," he announced.

He didn't see her when he first walked in, but he did hear the sniffling coming from the other side of the bed. "Liv?" he called out again as he rounded the bed. He found her with her knees pulled up to her chest, head buried in her hands. "Liv?" said more quietly.

She sniffed a few more times, wiping at her face before looking up at him. The look she gave him pulled at his heartstrings. Her face was red from crying and even though he could see she was trying to portray anger, he couldn't help but notice the sadness behind it. He didn't say anything and slowly took up residence on the floor next to her, back against her bed. Surprisingly, she didn't yell at him again. He waited in silence.

After a minute or so of neither of them saying anything, he chanced it. "You gonna tell me what's wrong?"

She turned to him, glaring. "Why are you here Elliot?"

Well, there were a lot of ways he could answer that question. He settled on the most obvious one. "Because I want to be."

She stared at him a moment longer before she rolled her eyes and rested her head back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. She blew out a breath.

"I saw Kathy today," she told him.

He leaned up slightly off of the bed and turned towards her. "Where?"

"The grocery store," she told him, before sniffing again. "It got a bit ugly. She grabbed me."

"Liv," he tried but she stopped him, wanting to get her part in the melee out as well.

"I pushed her," she admitted. She could feel his eyes on her and she felt the need to explain her loss of control further. "I just…I had Noah in my arms. Bella was right next to me. It scared them. I thought she was going to hurt them…they were going to get hurt in the process of her going after me. And they started crying and I felt myself getting revved up again. Like really revved up, like I haven't in a long time. With everything…just…and Noah's hearing last week. There's a new case worker. With work and everything. Then the dreams came back, the flashbacks…" this time he cut her off.

"Flashbacks? To what?" her head whipped towards him and she realized that her emotional state was making her overshare.

She shook her head as a few more tears slipped down her face, "Nothing."

He just stared at her. He hadn't missed the brief look of panic on her face when she'd turned to him. This was not the Olivia he'd left behind four years ago. And the more they talked since he'd returned, the more he talked to other people or overheard conversations, the more he felt like he was missing something. Something big.

"Liv, what aren't you telling me?"

She shook her head again. Deflect. "You told her. About Isabella. You told her. You didn't tell me that."

"You thought I wouldn't?" he asked.

"You shouldn't have," she told him.

"Liv, I'm not going to hide our kid," he told her. "I'm not going to lie about her existence. I'm not ashamed of her."

"You shouldn't have left her, Kathy. Your kids."

"And I've told you, you don't get to tell me what to do in regards to those matters. Not anymore," he felt himself growing frustrated. "You may be ashamed of her, but…"

"Fuck you Elliot," she turned to him. She spoke quietly, not forgetting the little ears that she knew weren't too far away. "I'm not ashamed of her. I'm trying to protect her."

"From what? We're her parents, Olivia. If we both love her, both wanted her, to hell with what everyone else thinks. It doesn't matter."

"It matters if she gets hurt by it. She's going to blame us. She's going to blame me. And she's going to be right."

"Okay I am going to say this, then I'm not discussing this any further." The circumstance under which they were having this conversation was unsettling to him. It was like they had committed this huge crime and their daughter was something to hide away in the dark. As nonideal as the circumstances had played out, the only remorse he really truly felt was that he'd hurt his children and her. "I think you are blowing this way out of proportion. Like that shrink guy of yours said, just because you see all of these worst-case scenarios, it doesn't mean there aren't just as many scenarios where this all turns out fine. I did this. I messed this up. It doesn't reflect on her. And Kathy…well I don't…this would have happened either way."

"No. It wouldn't have. If I'd just…,"

"Liv, look at me," he all but demanded. When she did, he continued. "Think back to before. Before I screwed us up. Back to when you considered me your best friend," her eyes turned down, but he continued. "Do you really think this wouldn't have happened? You and me. Eventually?"

Her eyes went back up to his. She was unnerved that he had just taken them there. Stated it so boldly. All the bullshit aside, the feelings that they had expressed back then had been real. The driving force behind everything. All that choosing each other over the job, the arguments, and lashing out, they had tried to disguise it as a strong friendship between two stubborn people. While that had been a part of it, there had been so much more.

She felt her heart rate speed up and her breaths coming quicker. And she realized why she'd been so angry at him for Kathy's actions, or at least why she'd taken her anger out on him. She'd been upset with herself. Before the altercation, she'd actually been looking forward to spending the evening with him. He'd effectively inserted himself back into her life as a constant, and she was starting to get comfortable with him being there. She was starting to want him there.

She saw his eyes flicker down to her lips before darting back to her eyes. He studied her a moment longer before his eyes went back down to her lips. She unknowingly held her breath. They were spiraling toward a brick wall, again. Thankfully they had a three-year-old to save them from themselves this time around.

They heard a tiny grunt and both turned to look toward the edge of the bed. They found Isabella laying on the floor, just her head peeping around the corner. She seemed unaware of the heaviness between the two adults.

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

Olivia brought her hand up to her forehead. "Crap."

"What?" Elliot asked as Noah crawled around the bed and into his lap.

"I forgot to feed them. Well, I didn't forget, I just…after everything, I just left everything at the grocery store. What time is it?" she said, looking at her watch as she began standing from the floor.

He stood as well following her out of the room as she mumbled about not having anything for them and needing to get them fed and cleaned. She had been fighting off panic attacks since leaving the store. She had been intending to find something to feed them and get back into their nightly routine, but everything had just continued to spiral.

"I really don't have anything," she said closing the fridge and opening the freezer.

"If you wanna get them in the bath, I can go pick up some food," he offered, sitting down at the island bar with Noah.

She just stared at him and he could see a million and one different conflicting thoughts running through her mind. She was confused by him, this. Whatever routine they had started to develop. His face split into a wide grin. That was better than outright rejection. He was making progress.

"Okay," she agreed quietly.

"Great," he said standing to grab his phone from the side table. "What do you guys want to eat."

It had taken him no time to order, head out and grab the food. By the time he'd gotten back, she was just getting Noah into his pajamas and Isabella was already dancing around the living room in hers. They'd eaten and the kids had promptly fallen asleep within thirty minutes of them landing on the couch. Currently, it was just the two of them watching television and catching up on the past few days.

"That was her sister," he informed her after she'd finished giving him more details from the encounter.

She sighed. "How's it going with that lawyer Alex set you up with?"

"I think it's going good. He's optimistic. We're going to serve her next week. Divorce and custody papers."

She thought about how scared Eli had looked. "That's good. You need to get back in his life as soon as possible."

"Was he there?" She nodded.

"Jesus," he said, running his hand over his face. "Liv, I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

Eli's custody issues reminded him he'd wanted to know more about Noah's hearing from the previous week. To this point, he hadn't gotten more than the placement would stand until the next hearing.

"Anything else happened at the hearing last week besides the new case worker?" he asked her.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something," she said shifting her position to sit more upright "His new caseworker. She reviewed the notes and was concerned." He frowned. He already didn't like this new case worker. It seemed she was stirring up trouble. "She didn't like that she feels he spends most of his time with a sitter, or someone other than me. And your name came up," she finished, taking in his reaction.

"Me? In what context?"

"Trevor wanted to make it known that you were probably going to be around him for a significant amount of time. So, when she started citing me not being around enough, he thought it would be a good idea to present you as a possible secondary caregiver."

She watched him. They studied each other. He had learned better than to take the bait.

"And what do you think about that idea?"

"I think," she blew out a breath, "it could show that he does have more stability with me. More than it has seemed lately. I've just been so busy with work, everything…Cragen wants me to start training for the Lieutenant position. She's new to the case and every time she's shown up he's either been with Lucy or Nick's mom or…someone. Someone responsible, just not with me. So, it could work in my favor."

"So, you think it's a good idea?"

"I do," she breathed out. She had a lot of people she could have asked to do this. She'd even suggested it to Trevor. He had said he wasn't one hundred percent against the idea, but from his experience, due to the nature of their relationship, Elliot would be the best choice.

She'd tried to change the lawyer's mind by bringing up the fact that Elliot disappeared for four years. Trevor had only laughed and said that when they saw that he worked overseas and got a recommendation to come back to work stateside, they'd write his absence off as work-related and likely wouldn't dig any further than that. She'd rolled her eyes and reluctantly agreed to bring it up to him.

"Then I'm there," he answered immediately.

"Okay…I'm really counting on you for this, El," she said after a short pause.

"Liv, I'm going to be there. I promise." He could kick himself. At one time when he'd told her he would show up for her, she believed him without question. Sometimes she'd even warned him not to because she'd known he would be there, whenever she needed him. And he would. Even if he'd get reamed for doing so. But that trust wasn't there anymore. He'd destroyed it. Though he had to look at the bright side. She was giving him a chance to begin restoring it.

She nodded. "I'll give you the dates as soon as I have them."

Now it was his chance to bring up something that had been on his mind. "Well, now since I'm technically Noah's dad as well…" he tried to slip in subtly.

"You're not," she said just as calmly as he had. But he ignored her.

"Do you think they could start spending some time at my place?"

For a second he thought she was going to throw him out. "What?"

"Liv at some point they're going to have to spend some time alone with just me. Especially if I'm going to be second on Noah's list of caregivers."

"Elliot, how are you…do you even have enough room for them? The last time you had a place," she air quoted, "it was a studio apartment and I'm pretty sure you were sleeping on a mattress on the floor."

"Okay, I already told you I have a three-bedroom unit. I got it for this reason. I wanted to have a space for them when they are with me."

She looked at him, her mouth open but no words coming out. Her head was nodding in disagreement. She wasn't comfortable with it, nor did she like the idea of having to share her babies. Well, she didn't have to share Noah. And even though this had been a thought in the back of her mind when Elliot popped back into their lives, she was thinking it would be closer to when the girl was a teenager or at least a preteen. She wasn't prepared to have her baby sleeping away from her or just not being at home with her when she was in fact home. She savored every moment with them outside of her busy schedule.

"I'm not comfortable with…" she was going to explain herself.

"Then you can come too," he added. And when her brows furrowed and her mouth dropped open again in silence, he just smiled at her.

She started laughing, "El, if you're trying to lure me to come to your place by laying my children as bait, it's not going to work."

He laughed. "No, I'm serious, Liv. You should drop by, and see the place. If it'll put your mind at ease about them being there without you. It'll probably be better for them as well. They can get used to the place with you around. That way they won't get freaked out when they first start to stay over."

"I don't know, El. I really don't like the idea of them sleeping away from me when they don't have to."

That mischievous smile came back to his face. "Liv, if you are trying to use our children in order to scheme your way into spending the night at my place, I assure you, you don't have to do that."

They both burst into a fit of laughter. "You're ridiculous," she told him.

"Liv, just think about it. Okay? And all jokes aside, I have a three-bedroom. Maybe you spending the first night or two there with them will help ease them into spending time in a new place."

She sighed. "I'll think about it, but don't get offended if I just need a little more time."

He nodded. At least she would consider it.

A/N: I will try to update sooner and more consistently but the holidays are usually busy for me. Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think.