Words Left Unsaid
Chapter 2 - For My Lady
by Bellanaris
Disclaimer - I do not own Harry Potter & Co. nor the song used in the story! Please don't sue! =o)
- thoughts
}--------
It had been a month since Remus and Sirius had come to the hidden cottage, and things were progressing as well as one could expect. Sitting at the breakfast table that morning, Remus couldn't help but marvel at the changes in his old friend. Sirius looked so much better now that he'd had a steady supply of meals and sunlight, his thick hair lustrous and black eyes shining once more. The werewolf took a bite of sausage as his amber-hued eyes rested on his companion, a small smile touching his lips.
/By the gods, Siri looks so much better. I'd like to think that it was all my doing...but I'm sure it was all of Harry's letters./ Things had been going well between them, that old ease years of friendship creates coming back in full force. And yet neither of them had ventured to bring up James and Lily or even what had occurred during their time apart. Those seemed to be a forbidden subject...verboten in the little cottage.
Suddenly there was a tapping at the window, snapping both men from their thoughts and causing both to glance towards it. A rather ordinary grey owl sat just outside, tapping impatiently to be let in. "Probably a letter from Harry..." Sirius murmured as he leapt from his seat to open the window. To their surprise, the owl flew directly to Remus, landing just at his elbow. Blinking, the sandy-haired werewolf retrieved the letter and gave the owl a bit of sausage before it flew back through the open window. Sirius sat back down, curiously watching his friend open the letter.
Soft laughter escaped Remus as he looked at a bit of parchment before setting it aside. To the dark-haired animagus' eyes, he could catch hints of color as if someone had been drawing with crayons. When Sirius looked back to his friend questioningly, he was already immersed in the rest of the letter, a slight frown touching his lips. "Who is it from, Moony?" The question made the man look up towards his friend, the frown disappearing, "...it's from my sister."
Sirius blinked in surprise, then smiled. "Serena? How is the little brat doing?" Remus carefully folded the letter back up as he answered, "She's doing well. She's a special liaison from Gringotts." Taking a bite of buttered toast, the animagus nodded, "Good. I'm glad to hear it." Sighing softly, Remus rose to his feet. "Siri, I have to go out for a little bit. Will you be okay here by yourself?" The man in question gave him a semi-hurt look, setting his toast down. "Of course I will. I am not five years old, Remy." An impish grin touched Remus' lips just before he walked out of the kitchen, "Sometimes I wonder about that, Sirius. Stay inside. I'll be back as soon as I can."
}-------
"I am so sorry, Remus. If I could postpone this trip, I would. You know how the goblins can be...impatient lot, they are." A tall amber-eyed woman exclaimed as she threw her arms around Remus and hugged him tightly. She kissed him on the cheek before grabbing her jacket and quickly apparating out of Moonlight Crescent Manor. Shaking his head slowly, Remus stared at the spot where his sister had been before heading up the spiral staircase.
Slipping inside a particular room upstairs, the werewolf smiled at the welcome sight of toys scattered in one corner of the nursery. He didn't stop walking until he came up to a crib, glancing down at the small child sleeping soundly within. Gently he brushed a golden wisp of hair from a soft, downy cheek before stepping away from the bed. In silence he added a few things to the diaper bag Serena had packed after owling him, making certain all the child's favorite things were there. With a wave of his wand, Remus shrunk the diaper bag before tucking it in his jean pocket.
Finally he went back to the crib, gently scooping up the sleeping child into his arms. Walking towards the changing table, he whispered softly to her, "Wake up, angel. Come on, it's time to get up." A yawn escaped the tiny girl in his arms, her chubby little arms wriggling and stretching. Sleepy violet eyes opened as Remus quickly took off her pajamas and changed her diaper. The little girl blinked up at him, still three-quarters asleep as he slipped a pale pink t-shirt over her head, followed by a matching pair of shorts. She stared up at him a little longer before recognition flared over her delicate features. "Daddy!" He chuckled softly as he brushed her soft baby hair into two little pigtails secured with pale pink bows. "Yes, little one, it's Daddy." Tiny hands grasped at his t-shirt and tugged as the two year old pulled herself up to her feet, a proud smile on her little face. Chubby little arms flew around his neck as she hugged him, his arms coming around to hug her against his chest gently. "Wuv oo, Daddy!" He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the sweet baby scent of his daughter. "Love you too, angel."
}---------
Sirius glanced up from his spot on the couch as the door opened, the book in his hand momentarily forgotten. He rose to a sitting position, curious black eyes taking in the sight of Remus with a small child in his arms. A smile touched his lips as he got to his feet and walked over to the pair. "Hey, Moony. Who's our little guest?" Wide violet eyes peeked up at him from the crook of the werewolf's neck, a teddy bear clutched tightly. Remus bit his bottom lip nervously before answering lightly, not wanting to scare his daughter. "This is Brianne. My two year old daughter."
A look of surprise crossed the animagus' face before quickly disappearing, a bright smile touching his face just for the sake of the little girl staring up at him. "Well, hello there, Brianne. My name's Sirius, but you can call me Padfoot, okay?" Playfully he tickled her exposed side, making a soft giggle escape the child. " 'kay, Pafu!" Brianne wriggled in her daddy's arms until he set her on the floor, and she began to explore, toddling around with her small teddy bear in her arms.
Remus glanced at his friend for a moment before taking out his wand and quickly setting up a safe play area for Brianne near the couch, unshrinking the diaper bag to pull out her toys. Once his daughter was successfully occupied with her things, he dropped onto the couch and waited for Sirius to speak. The couch creaked as Sirius sat down and looked directly at him. "She's a beautiful child, Moony." The werewolf smiled, glancing briefly at Brianne before looking back to his friend. "Thank you...she's the light in my life." There was a tense silence that filled the room as both men sat watching the two year old play with her blocks and dolls. Finally Remus rose to his feet, venturing a glance at Sirius. "I need to fix up that spare room for Bri. Could you keep an eye on her?" Seeing his friend give a silent nod, he quickly left the living room to disappear into the small, barren room.
Closing his eyes, the werewolf slumped against the wall, sliding down it slowly to sit on the floor. /Oh Merlin, how do I explain this to Sirius? He's gonna want to know. I can't lie. I refuse to lie about my baby. The truth. It's the only option. Yes, the truth./ His decision made, Remus got to his feet and glanced around the dingy little room with an appraising eye. A few spells later, the room looked much cleaner and brighter, the walls restored to the original light yellow. A satisfied smile touched his lips and he reached into his pocket, pulling out the shrunken items he'd brought from the manor along in addition to the diaper bag. With a flick and swish of his wand, the items returned to their normal size, leaving a wooden, rocking chair, and changing table set up within the temporary nursery. He eyed the room for a moment before whispering another spell, no effects readily apparent at the moment.
With the nursery finished, the amber-eyed werewolf returned to the living room, only to stop in the doorway and smile at the sight before him. Brianne was lying against the side of a giant, grim-like dog, completely unafraid and even dozing lightly. Black eyes immediately turned to the werewolf, the dog lifting his head. Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Don't let her sleep now, Padfoot. She won't go to bed later if she sleeps now." The dog blinked before licking the child on the cheek and nudging her lightly, making her giggle. "Pafu!" She chirped happily, climbing onto Padfoot's back and bouncing a bit. Remus grinned at his daughter's antics, "All right...you two behave while I make dinner."
}-------
Finishing up the last dinner dish, Sirius dried his hands on the dish cloth before tossing it on the counter. Quietly he slipped out of the kitchen, the faint sound of someone singing drawing him towards the makeshift nursery. Pausing just inside the door, the dark-haired animagus just smiled and listened intently as Remus rocked his daughter to sleep, singing softly to her.
A boat sails stormy seas
Battles oceans filled with tears
At last my port's in view
Now that I've discovered you.
Oh, I give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady.
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
As life goes drifting by
Like a breeze she'll gently sigh
And slowly bow her head
Then you'll hear her softly cry.
Oh, I give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady.
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
Words that you say when we're alone
Actions speak louder than words
But all I can say is I love you so.
Drive away all my hurt.
Oh, I give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady.
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
Set sail before the sun
Feel the warmth that's just begun
Share each and every dream
They belong to everyone.
Oh, I give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady.
Give it freely and completely
To my lady.
The sound of Remus' soft voice washed over Sirius like an ocean wave, washing him clean of the taint of Azkaban and giving him hope for the first time in years. Love swelled in his battered heart as he gazed silently at the man he'd loved for so long and the small child that should have been his. It hurt that Brianne was not his, but that did not mean that she would not become so if he had anything to do with the situation.
His voice trailing off at the end of the song, Remus carefully rose to his feet and carried his sleeping child to her bed, gently tucking her in with her favorite blanket and teddy. He pressed a gentle kiss against Brianne's cheek before silently stepping away. Turning to leave the room, the sandy-haired man jumped in shock to see Sirius standing in the doorway, just barely preventing a yelp of surprise from escaping him. He glanced wide-eyed at his daughter before hurriedly dragging Sirius out into the living room, not wanting the child to awaken.
Once in the living room, Remus let go of his fellow Marauder and dropped onto the couch, letting his head fall back and eyes close wearily. The dark-haired animagus sat down next to him, his black eyes nearly leaving the other for a moment. "You have a beautiful voice, Moony...who sings that song?" The faintest smile touched the werewolf's lips. "A British muggle band Lily once played for me...the Moody Blues." It was quiet for a few moments, then Sirius spoke again. "Where's her mother?" Remus blinked, lifting his head to glance at his friend. "Huh?" An aristocratic brow arched. "Brianne's mother? Where is she?" The werewolf sighed. "I am her mother, Padfoot." Sirius blinked, tilting his head slightly. "I know that. I mean, the person who gave birth to her." Amber eyes met black eyes, a sigh escaping the werewolf. "I gave birth to Brianne, Sirius." Startled, the dark-haired man could only stare at his friend before forming another question. "Well, then...who is her other father?" Remus let his head drop back against the couch again, this time staring up at the ceiling. "Severus Snape."
/Severus Snape? Snape? Snivellus?!?/ Black eyes dropped in bewilderment, thoughts racing through his shocked mind. Finally he looked up to his friend, who seemed to be holding his breath in anticipation of Sirius exploding. "Somehow I wasn't expecting Snape to be the answer you'd give, Moony. How did that even happen?"
Remus let out a breath that he hadn't been aware of holding. Running a hand through his sandy locks, he took a moment to gather his thoughts before answering. "We ran into each other in Diagon Alley. Literally. It was in February of 1991, and the road was very slippery with ice and snow. He had just left the apothecary, and I was walking out of Flourish and Blotts when some idiot knocked into me, pushing me right into Severus. We collided and ended up in the snow, both of us soaking and freezing." He paused a moment in speaking to glance at Sirius, who was listening intently. "We ended up going back to my rooms at the Leaky Cauldron to dry off, and decided to catch up over dinner. For whatever reason, we just clicked...one thing led to another and we ended up as lovers. We were together until May when Severus decided that he just couldn't be with someone like be." He fell silent, closing his eyes for a moment before Sirius nudged him lightly, prompting him to continue. "And?" The werewolf gave his friend a faint smile, opening his eyes to look at him. "And what, Siri? I had expected it to happen from the moment it began. Werewolves are persona non grata, you know that. Anyway, I found myself pregnant, and decided to keep my baby. I didn't think that I'd ever get another chance to have the family I always wanted. Now I have my Brianne, and I wouldn't change it for the world."
Sirius frowned at the werewolf's pessimistic attitude towards himself, and grabbed his arm, shaking him lightly. "Hey! Don't say things like that about yourself. Anyone would be lucky to know someone as special as you, Remus. You're one of the best people I've ever had the privilege to know. If Snape doesn't see that, then he's an even bigger idiot that I realized. He doesn't deserve you or Brianne." Remus stared at him wide-eyed and surprised at the vehemence of his words. Shaking his head slowly, he tore his eyes away from Sirius, "He doesn't know about her. No one does except for Albus, Poppy, Serena, and now you. I didn't tell him, and no one else is to tell him. I don't want him to reject Bri, to throw her away like he did me. She doesn't deserve that."
Calloused fingers lifted Remus' chin, serious black eyes meeting amber-hued eyes. "Neither do you, Moony." It was as if time had stopped as they stared into each other's eyes, Sirius' fingers lightly stroking the werewolf's jaw. Emotions flared between the two as each were trying to tell other something with only their eyes. /Merlin, you are so beautiful...I love you.../ In a moment of boldness, Sirius leaned forward and captured Remus' lips in a gentle, yet possessive kiss. The werewolf leaned forward, deepening the kiss as his hands slid slowly up the other's chest.
Finally the kiss broke after what seemed to be an eternity, both men panting lightly as they rested their foreheads together. Sirius spoke first, his voice low and raspy. "There were only two things that kept me sane in Azkaban. Harry, and the thought of finally being able to tell you exactly how I feel about you." His heart pounding loudly, Remus lifted his head, drawing back enough to stare deeply into his black eyes. "How do you feel, Sirius?" Sirius smiled gently, his fingertips sliding gently over his beloved's cheek. "I have been in love with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I didn't know what I was feeling until I thought it was too late to ever tell you. I want you to be mine, Moony. Forever. Please tell me you feel the same..."
AN - The song is indeed by the Moody Blues. It's one of my favorites.