Miranda sighed and heaved the bag of presents up yet another flight of stairs. She was already regretting saying yes to Gerta's invitation. Tina had assured her that it was to be a very civilised hen party but Miranda knew there was always a chance of being visually assaulted by a stripper or being forced to do shots until you vomited disgracefully in a hedge or a pot plant so she had vowed to keep the drinking to a minimum.
A dinner party, that was safe. Finger foods were safe. The bottles of spirits waiting on the trolley were not. And neither were the choice of DVDs awaiting them.
'You're British, you must know this one' said Tina, rootling around the pile and holding up some lurid yellow cover triumphantly.
'Ah but that is the German version. It's one of the few German films that are not dubbed' Gerta informed them. 'German and Austrian TV and films are almost always dubbed. This is German made.'
Die Volle Montur.
Miranda didn't recognise it.
'You will' Gerta promised, putting it on. The other women shrieked with laughter and Miranda rolled her eyes. She was getting used to the you must be British so you must know…
'It's set in a German town instead of Sheffield. But the story is the same.'
Miranda tried to think of a film that was set in Sheffield but her mind was blank. Probably down to the 3 cocktails she'd downed.
Several minutes in, she registered that it did in fact look familiar and it took her way longer to realise what it was. Actually she barely remembered the film but she did know one thing. Stripping was going to happen. Shit. She really did not need this. She had been enjoying this hen party. The flatscreen TV was going to showcase bits and pieces. She hadn't been near bits and pieces for a while. All of the other hens were shrieking in various decibels and it wasn't until she spotted a familiar face that she sat up and properly concentrated.
What. The. Fuck.