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When Jason get's back from a long mission the other's can't greet him like a normal person. No no no. They have to go and steal his stuff.

Jason crawled through the window of one of his many safe houses. He let the bag drop from his shoulder onto the floor. He took a few steps forward before falling face first onto the sofa. He was sore. Overworked muscles and sleepless nights had caught up with him. He felt he could sleep for a week.

As much as he wanted to stay and sleep he needed to get out of this uniform and take a shower before he did anything else.

He sat up shucking his jacket off and tossing atop a nearby chair as he began to undo the armor on his chest and torso. Removing it with the holster for his many weapons dropping onto the coffee table in front of him. He took off his boots and stood stretching listening to the cracks in his spine before making his way to the bathroom to wash away the layers of grime, dirt, sweat, and blood that had built up the last few weeks.

He stood letting the spray of the water hit his face and sooth his aching muscles.

A clean t-shirt and sweats and he was back to eat something and clean his gear (amazing how much a simple shower can perk someone up). He walked out to find armor gone, replaced with a note.

He snatched the note from the table instantly recognizing the pretender's scrawl.

You did good work. Get some rest. I'll take care of the armor for you. -RR

Since when did Tim do stuff like that? Like break into places and steal stuff just so he could clean it. Jason wouldn't call himself a clean freak, and could by no standard, keep his equipment to the same standard Tim kept despite (or maybe in spite of) his completely chaotic lifestyle.

When it came to gear no one's was in better shape than Tim's. Jason had no idea when he found the time. He wouldn't say his gear was in bad condition and that he didn't take care of it. He just wasn't as meticulous as people like Tim or even Roy.

He remembers how the redhead would spend hours upon hours going through each piece of equipment making sure it was pristine. Of course Roy was equally messy. Maybe that's just how these types of people were.

People who hyper focused on whatever insane task and let normal mundane things like having a clean workspace just slip past them. As if they didn't have time.

Not that Jason minded Tim taking the time to clean his armor. In fact the exact opposite. He appreciated it. A lot. It gave him more time to relax and unwind.

"Alright. I'll just eat something then." Jason told himself before he groaned.

He had no produce of any kind. He'd been gone for so long (in general but also he didn't use this particular safe house very often) that he only had canned goods and boxes of noodles. Things that wouldn't go bad for years.

Jason sighed. Guess I'll have to make do.

He walked into his kitchen to see a bowl of fruit.

"Tim gave me fruit?"

There was another note attached to the fridge.

Not the pretender's awful handwriting. Instead it was the golden boy's neater handwriting (Neater meaning it was legible. Of course Jason would call his own handwriting unintelligible chicken scratch).

Knew you were coming back today, so I got you some food. Alfred insisted I bring the leftovers in the fridge. Enjoy your night off. -N

Okay this is weird.

Why were his sort of brothers doing stuff for him?

They never did stuff like this. They had to be up to something. Whenever he got back from whatever mission he'd been on it was silent and uneventful.

Cautiously Jason opened the door to the fridge. Just as Dick said there were three containers of food. He inspected it. It looked untampered with. There were other contents. Milk, eggs, cheese, vegetables. Normally when Jason left places like this for long periods of time, he'd give the food away to people in the building that he knew needed it. He always felt bad for wasting it, knowing it would just go bad before he had a chance to get to it.

He knew he'd left his cupboards bare. On purpose. Now they were full so he could stay for the couple of weeks he'd been planning on. There was bread and other things that he would never just keep here.

Jason grabbed one of the containers Alfred had set aside for him. He trusted Alfred. Whenever they saw each other Jason never left empty handed. While he never did what Tim and Dick do and just not make normal meals (Jason will admit Dick is a whole hell of a lot better than Tim about it) Alfred still made sure Jason had something.

It was also greatly appreciated but also confused him. Everyone was going way out of there way for this safe house to do these weird tasks for him. Cleaning his gear and getting him groceries. All things he was more than capable of doing himself, and was even planning on doing himself.

After heating the dish up Jason became ravenous. Like he hadn't eaten in a week. In reality he just hadn't really had a good meal in a while. Before he could blink the food was gone.

Alfred would be disappointed. Jason thought to himself for the lack of manners.

He left his dishes in the sink, rinsing them off, planning to actually clean them the next day. That is unless someone else got the bright idea to break in and wash his dishes.

Jason went to grab his bag and hall it back to the bedroom when he realized it was also gone.

"What. The. Hell?!"

He stalked back to the bedroom. The bag rested on top of the dresser, empty. His burner resting on the edge. He saw his jacket on a hanger hanging from the door knob. He pulled a random drawer open to see his items neatly tucked away.

He glanced at his bed and saw a couple wrapped packages.

He was beyond confused now. Whoever had left them had wrapped them in brown paper keeping it closed with burlap twine.

Jason grabbed the burner, dialed the number and waited for the other line to pick up.

'Hey Jason, what's going on?' Dick answered, his tone relaxed.

"What the hell are you trying to pull?" Jason asked him, his tone slightly accusatory.

'Hmmm?'

"You heard me Dickhead, what's going on? You're leaving me food, Tim stole my armor, someone put all my stuff away. What are you trying to pull?"

'Can't people do nice things for you?'

"It's weird when it's all at once like this."

He heard Dick sigh. 'Have you looked a calendar recently?'

"Yeah, it's the fifthteenth. Woopty freakin' do."

Dick didn't respond. But Jason could practically see his face. Dick was waiting for him to catch on to something.

'Yeah, the fifthteenth."

Jason nodded in agreement. "Also, what's with these packages on my bed?"

'Seriously?'

"What? You just decided some random Tuesday you guys were gonna break into my-" realization hit Jason. "Tomorrow's the sixteenth."

'Yeah it is, isn't it?'

Jason sucked in a breath. "Well now I feel like an asshole."

Dick chuckled lightly. 'Barbara picked them out. I just dropped them off. I only know what one of them is.'

"Thanks. You didn't have to."

'I know, but we did nonetheless.' He sounded almost proud of himself.

"Are you doing anything else?"

'I didn't plan anything. So it's up to you. I'm down if you wanna do anything. I'm sure I can convince some of the others. Oh and Cass is expecting you to stop by and read them some time.'

"Okay, I'll head out there soon."

'Alright, well I guess I'll see you at some point. Happy Birthday.'

And with that Jason hung up the phone and dropped it on the bed.

He sucked in a breath before picking up one of the parcels. Three books.

The Stranger, The Plague, and Swann's Way. Odd choices but intriguing. Barbara often recommended books she'd finished recently. She must've gotten into French literature.

The next package was more surprising. A hatchet and a matching machete.

He examined the blade. Pristine. He blew quickly against the sharp edge listening to the sound of the air being cut across it. Both made to sit discreetly on his belt.

Jason already had both weapons.

He shot Tim a text.

I am never seeing my machete again. Am I?

The response was almost immediate.

No.


I know, I know. Jason's birthday is in August. Anyway something short, sweet, and cute. I have another Damian one lined up before I get a little angsty again. Be back tomorrow