Such Great Heights
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Travis/Lily
Dedications: Again, yay me! Again, to Rini for making me come out of the pretty closet. And to Jenn, who was the first person to make me be able to talk about Travis/Lily without throwing up.
Summary: "I remembered how you made me feel special and talented and gorgeous and smart in a way no one else had before." Travis/Lily
Travis lowers himself onto the stair behind him, tilts his head back, and closes his eyes. Thoughts are running through his brain so fast he barely has time to think them before they're replaced by a new one. The main thought is Parker, smiling at him from across the table at Mickey's, eyes sparkling, making him want to kiss her. He could, but he didn't, because Parker didn't seem like the kind of girl to kiss on the first date.
The other thoughts in his head are so much more confusing, so much harder to think about even for the half of a second the existed. So he sat on the familiar stairs and closed his eyes, blocking out the world.
"Hey, Travis."
Travis opens his eyes and sees Lily smiling down at him. "Hey, Lil." She sits down next to him and bumps her shoulder lightly against his, making him smile.
"So, Travis. How was your date? I got Parker's version, now I need yours," she says, getting straight to the point.
"Very subtle."
"What?" Lily tilts her head and a wisp of her blonde hair falls in front of her eyes and Travis wants to brush it away but doesn't dare.
"Parker wants to know, doesn't she?"
Lily laughs. "No, Travis. I want to know."
Travis stares straight ahead for a minute before turning and looking at Lily. "Good. Fun. I like her."
"Really?" Lily grins and Travis nods. "That's so great. I'm happy for her. For you."
"Thanks," Travis mumbles, staring down at his knees.
"Want to hear about my boring night?" Without waiting for an answer, barely pausing for breath, she continues. "I wrote another song."
"About Ray?"
Lily rolls her eyes. "You know, Travis, not everything has to be about Ray. A lot seems to be, but there's other stuff to write about, too."
"Like what?"
Lily doesn't say anything for a moment and Travis turns to raise his eyebrows at her. She stands up. "I have to go to class."
"We have study hall right now," Travis says, confusion clouding his features.
"I don't want to be late. Bye, Travis." She practically runs up the stairs, and Travis twists around to watch her go, letting himself think again.
"You love her, don't you?"
The voice interrupts his thoughts and he spins, falling down onto the step below him. Parker is standing next to the stairway, looking at him through squinted eyes, as though scrutinizing his every breath. "What? No." He shakes his head. "No."
"Doesn't denial go against on of the Principles of Buddhism?"
"No. Denying yourself the material and your desires is the path to enlightenment."
Parker lets out a sharp breath through her nose. "Well, then. You admit you're denying yourself Lily?"
"That…doesn't make sense," Travis says, leaning against the railing so his knee touches Parker's elbow.
"Sure it does. Expand your mind, Travis." She sighs. "What about fate? Do Buddhists believe in that?"
"Absolutely."
"Okay. You love Lily. Lily is your fate. Deal with it."
"How can she be my fate if she doesn't feel that way?"
"Aha! So you're admitting you love Lily?" Parker grins triumphantly and Travis has to smile at the expression on her face. "She did once, why couldn't she again?"
"Ray, remember?"
"Ray who?" Parker shrugs casually. "Maybe you don't love her. But if you do, you should tell her."
"I can't."
"I guess you'll never get to find out who her song was for, then." Parker turns on her heel and walks away from the stairs, but Travis doesn't watch it go. Instead, he lets his head fall into his hands and tries not to think about anything, especially not Lily.
Travis runs his eyes over the CD racks at the station, reading the names and looking for his Interpol CD. When he finds it, he slides it out and walks back to his booth. It's dim and quiet, and his footsteps and breathing seem to echo in the small room, but he needed time alone to think.
To think about touching that record as he said the words "coming at you from a little place I am now calling…home." About Lily sitting on that table and singing to him. About standing right there and feeling her lips touch his for the briefest moment, making his head spin.
He sits in his chair, staring blankly down at the CD case in front of him, watching the light reflect off the plastic. The brightness of the color spectrum makes him dizzy, so he lets his head drop onto the table, eyes squeezed tight.
"Oh, Travis. I didn't think you would be here." Lily's voice snaps him out of his daze, and he lifts his head up. "You don't look good." She leans against the doorframe of the booth and smiles at him. "You okay?"
"Not really. But I don't want to talk about it." He stands up and steps around her, heading back to the CD racks. He concentrates on reading the tiny letters in an attempt to keep his mind off the fact that judging by the strength of her airy perfume and the heat radiating from his left, Lily is standing right next to him.
"Travis. I'm Lily, you can tell me anything."
He shakes his head. "It's because you're Lily that I can't. He turns away from her and look around the room. He knows he can't go back in the booth, because she could trap him in there and make him talk, so he slumps down on the couch, careful to avoid her eyes.
He feels a weight next to him and then Lily's hand on his shoulder. "Please, Travis?"
He takes a deep, shuddering breath and shakes his head again. "No."
"Fine, then." She reaches next to the couch and pulls her guitar onto her lap. "I'll play you the song I wrote last night."
She strums chords and notes and Travis closes his eyes. But when the first words come out of her mouth, he can't listen anymore. He grabs her hand and she freezes, eyes wide, to stare into his eyes. "I can't listen to another song about Ray right now."
"It…it's not about Ray." It's Travis' turn to look startled and Lily smiles weakly. "It's about you."
"Me? Why me?"
"Because…because somehow I was able to forget you and be in love with Ray, but then when Ray was with Grace and I spent more time with you…I remembered. I remembered how you made me feel special and talented and gorgeous and smart in a way no one else had before. I remembered what it felt like to kiss you, how I knew it was wrong but it didn't stop me from loving the feeling it gave me. And…and I had feelings for you again."
"You are all those things, smart and talented and gorgeous, Lily, and so much more." Travis' voice is shaking the tiniest bit, and he clears his throat.
"I'm sure of that when I'm with you. I know you're with Parker now and I shouldn't be doing this, but-"
"Lily," Travis says quickly. "Parker says it's okay. She knows how I feel and she…she says it's fate."
"Fate?" Lily is steadily meeting his eyes and Travis nods slowly. "Okay, well…can I kiss you now?"
Travis smiles and leans forward, capturing her lips with him. He feels electricity shoot through his body, is positive his hair should be standing on end with the intensity. She grabs his arm, and the skin beneath her hand burns like fire, and Travis kisses her deeper, savoring every second, every drop of Lily on his tongue.
When they separate, Lily is smiling shyly and biting her bottom lip and there's a piece of here blonde hair falling in front of her face. Travis reaches towards her, hand shaking the tiniest bit, and brushes it away. She just smiles brighter and Travis has to kiss her again.