Disclaimer; i donut own yugioh or anything well maybe this story
Bakura's P.O.V:
Ah today was a sunny day the sun was shining the birds were singing the sounds of people fighting over bull shit made bakura angry.
" i can't stand the morning it makes me sick i hate the fuckin people, the noises and that evil sun.'
note to self get revenge on the damn sun after revenge on the evil pharoah.
beep beep
its 8 am its time for my evil laugh, "myah hah haha Myah hah hah you"ll will suffer under the greatest master, bakura"
some old guy "hey you white headed freak shut up, or else i'll go over there and kick your ass"
"you and what army "
"this army," he says while mooning bakura with his wrinkled ass
ok new note to self get revenge on naked mooning old guy.
now i stick my head out the window, well because i want people to admire my beauty
what i didn't expect was the poop of pigeons landing on my face
"the jokes on you stupid pigeons, i always use animal poop for mascura"
uh did i just say that out loud to the whole neighborhood.
this time i stick my head out again "scratch what i said yam i uses shit to make himself look pretty and he also uses eyeliner.
Yami comes in the picture walking down the street hearing what Bakura said. "Hey Bakura"
"huh"
"eat this"
when i turn around i see a size 5, leather shoe hit my face
"ouch"
"take that you creep"
"well at least i don't wear size 5 you girl"
"why don't you come over hear and say that to my face"
"no you come over here"
" ithought so you wimp"
"I don't hit gay guyys"
"for the last time i'm not gay"
"yes you are, you always were leather, and lot of make up and you havce long hair like a girl also you were sive 5.
" i don't have to take this i'm going home"
just like that the pharoah starts running home tripping on everything, crying in his hands. but before leaving the street he flips bakura the bird.
"haha at least i don't run like a girl"
grr grr
"i'm hungry its time for a manly breakfast"
"Kura its breakfast time"
yes i bet ryou made me a five star breakfast, i'm starving
"don't forget to brush your teeth "
"yes mother"
"what was that "
"uh oh , imean nothing"
" i thought so"
i walk in the bathroom noticing that a tornado must of hit the bathroom. the tolet paper was spread all over the floor, the toilet seat had yellow stains, the bathtub was filled with water also filled with bugs and other disgusting things. the light was bearly working , the mirror was halfway filled with dust the other half startung to crack. and the sink had dripping shaving cream , the faucets were rusting and the water was a nice yellowish color.
" uh, ryou when the hell are you going to clean the damn bathroom when you get a job"
"when you get a job"
"so i guess thats never huh"
when i inch closer to the inside of the bathroom i slip on the toilet paper, making my head fall into the toilet bowl "EW" when i pull my head out i smell an odor coming from my head. I throw my head into the tub, forgetting about the bugs, "ahh the bugs" forgetting about the hair blower, which to my demise falls into the tub. it takes a few seconds before i realize that i can't die so i take my head only to lose my balance and fall back in the tub head first.
After the electracutioning hell i nearly slip again but i grab something to keep my balance.
I had to grab the railing to head downstairs without falinqg all the way down. to late i lose my footing causing me to roll all the way downstairs. Finally being able to get up i hear a snap, iget worried but i notice its only my arm, it broke.
well at least my hikari won't force me to do dishes. and now i reach in the kitchen ready to eat breakfast.
"so i take it you just had a near life death experience"
"what makes you think that"
"well maybe from the screams i heard coming from the upstairs bathroom, and the thud i heard in the tub and when you were coming downstairs."
"lets never mention this again."
"ok whatever"
"so whats for breakfast"
"wait did you brush your teeth"
"uh no "
"get your ass back upstairs and don't comeback downstairs."
"no please don't send me back there, i'm scared. "
Half an hour later
i finally make it upstairs. why i took so long, i had to limp all the way back there. i reach for my toothbrush while closing my eyes, i feel something hairy, i feel it some more to see what it is.
i figure that it must be ryou's hair brush, i open my eyes to see if i'm right, but i'm wrong its a giant tarantula. before i can move the spider jumps in my face. i start sttrugling but lose my balance once again forcing me to fall in the bathtub. shocking me again, but this time its more painful. its a victory for me cause during the shocking the tarantula let go and died of the shock.
Finally i find my toothbrush. then i reach for the toothpaste i start to wonder 'hmm, i wonder what the toothpaste taste like' i squeeze the damn tube but nothing comes out so i decide to look in it, i saw something so i decide to squeeze it again but harder, somethings coming out i decide to mentally pat myself but i didn't notice the toothpaste squirt in my eye.
" AHH IT BURNS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. "
please ra let me brush my teeth, i'm starving
now i procced to brush my teeth and i suceed in doing that.
i get down to the kitchen setting my butt on the hard chair. note to self get a new chair and ass cream.
i look down in my plate looking for my breakfast but nothings there, hmm i wonder, i;m gonna kill ryou he made me suffer hell in that damn bathroom and he's not here to serve me my breakfast.
thats when i notice a note:
sorry kura,
had to go out of town, you were to late for breakfast,
looks like you'll have to make your own. no scratch that
order something instead, wouldn't want you to burn down
the house again.
p.s. won't be home for a week.
sincerly,
Ryou
"weres the damn phonebook i need to order pizza"
"this is weird, theres a bookmark in the phonebook and a circled phone number, it says : 1-888-SEX-TALK, must be a new pizza place."
I dial the phone number a women answers:
women: hi i'm cherri
kura: yeah i would like a double cheese pizza
women: you wanna know what i'm wearing
kura: u no i just want pizza
women: i'm wearing a pink thong
kura: no i want pizza
women: i have on a tight dress
kura: no clothes, i want pizza
women: i'm starting to take off my tight dress
kura: no more talking, i want my pizza
women: I'm getting really hot
kura: what kind of pizza place is this
women: this isn't a pizza place, this is a sex hot line
kura: Oops my mistake, so what are you wearing
women: beep beep
kura: hello?
" I finally realize something, that ryou isn't gay but he's a horny pervert"
After an Hour of Realizing
"Oh well might as well watch some cartoons" i say while heading to the living room couch.
I turn on the t.v.
but the unspeakable happened the t.v. only showed static.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"
"Well theres still the anime dvds" as i start to look through the titles i notice that all the animes were porn and hentai.
"Well now i know that ryou is a big pervert"
"well this saturday really sucks"
"theres only one thing to do"
i reach for the floor then sit down, i put my knees to my chest and put my arms around them, making me look like a ball, i start to rock myself while sucking on my thumb
"wait" i say to myself tomorrows sunday, thats the day that i torture yami. but i remember that ryous a pervert, so keep rocking.
THE END
