Batman: The Three Bats

by Barbatos76

The Dark Knight. The Caped Crusader. The World's Greatest Detective. Solving "The Three Jokers" was the greatest mystery he had to unravel up to that point. But what will he do when he is faced with not only realizing that he may not have truly solved the mystery of his greatest enemy; but that he must solve the greater mystery surrounding himself! Who is the real Batman?

1. Chapter 1

The Three Bats Chapter 1

Bucker Carlson- "Good evening and welcome to Bucker Carlson Tonight. In retrospect, it's remarkable just how dishonest, how thoroughly and intentionally dishonest the media coverage of the Lyle Rippenhouse story turned out to be. All of it was a lie. Rippenhouse was not a white supremacist. He was never in a militia. He never crossed state lines with a firearm. The protest in Genosha was not peaceful. It was a riot, chaotic and violent. Many of the rioters, by the way, carried guns. Rippenhouse was hardly alone. Rippenhouse didn't go to Genosha looking for trouble, his father lived there. Rippenhouse himself worked as a lifeguard in Genosha"

"Viewers, let's bring out Lyle to hear his story firsthand…..here's Lyle Rippenhouse. Tell me, Lyle, how you wound up in Genosha that day? "

Lyle Rippenhouse–"Well, it actually started on August 24th. I was working my job as a lifeguard at the RecPlex in Genosha County, and then the riots were still going on and a curfew was implied, so I went to Domino Black's house and I stayed the night over there and saw the videos of the riots and the arson going on. Yes. I stayed the night August 24th. We wake up in the morning and we're talking. We're like, "Let's go. Let's go help our community. Let's go see what we can do."

Bucker Carlson-"You get there. What do you see?"

Lyle Rippenhouse- "When I get there, I see, in the beginning, the morning of Reuther Central, I see just spray paint everywhere. I see smoke coming from the Car Source that was burnt down. It was quite upsetting because that was somebody's business that got destroyed. I said, "Hey, if you… " I asked if they needed any help and they said, "Yes, if you can."

Bucker Carlson- "Where did you first see Bosenbaum?"

Lyle Rippenhouse-"The first time I saw Rosenbaum was the first time he'd threatened to kill me. It was at the corner of the Car Source lot that I was at primarily that night. I was asking people if they need medical, and he came up to me and Ryan Talch and he said, "If I catch any of you MF'ers alone, I'm going to effing kill you."

Bucker Carlson- "Had you ever seen him before?"

Lyle Rippenhouse- "I had not."

Bucker Carlson- "You'd never seen this guy, he walks up and threatens to kill you out of nowhere?"

Lyle Rippenhouse- "Yes. It was quite shocking. I was like, "Why would somebody threaten to kill me?" I'm just asking if people need help on both sides. When he threatened to kill me, I was like, "What the heck just happened?" Nobody's ever threatened to kill me up until that point. I was like, "That's not something you say to somebody."

"OH, BOO FRICKIN' HOO!" a voice suddenly interrupts.

Bucker- "What…..who is that? Studio, can someone tell me what is going on?"

Suddenly a Zoom video cuts in and takes over the screen.

"Ahhhh, the healing power of technology! You gotta love a good Zoom call! Who says nothing good came from this Pandemic!? It's soooooo convenient to be able to work from home. Heh, heh."

Bucker Carlson- "Some guy dressed as the Joker? What the Hell are you doing on my show? I am conducting an important interview here!"

Joker- "Look….Fuc (ahem!) Bucker…I'm a citizen of this great country, just like you are. I just want a chance to have my voice heard, that's all"

Bucker Carlson- "Somebody get this clown off the screen!"

Joker-"Clown? That's a pretty bold statement coming from a guy with that hairstyle, heh, heh."

Lyle Rippenhouse- "It's ok. Go ahead Mr. Joker. What do you have to say?"

Joker- Ahhhh…..Lyle, Lyle Crocodile…..there you are. Fresh out of diapers and you've already got a body count. Makes me wish I would have started at such a young age!"

Lyle Rippenhouse- No, (sob, sob), you've got it all wrong, I…..I…..didn't (sob, sob) mean to kill anybody that day. I…..I…..had to (sob, sob), do it to save myself. I never want to shoot a gun ever again."

Bucker Carlson- "CAN SOMEONE DO SOMETHING! HE'S RUINING MY GOD DAMNED INTERVIEW!"

Joker- "But wait Lyle, didn't you say you killed because someone threatened to kill you? Are you telling me that if someone else threatened to kill you, you wouldn't shoot again….to protect yourself?"

Lyle-"I….(sob, sob)….I don't (sniff, sniff)…what are you saying?"

Joker "Look Lyle. Let's make this really simple so you and Anchorman over there can understand. I….am…..going….to….kill….you. Your only chance at survival is to shoot me first. You're good at that right Lyle, Lyle Crocodile? You got that juice..…it should be no problem.

Bucker Carlson- "Lyle, don't listen to this maniac! Obviously there is nothing this leftist lunatic can do to harm you. We are safe here in the studio and he is probably on this Zoom call all the way from Gotham City. By the way, Joker, thanks for proving my point that we should drop a bomb on Gotham City so we can cleanse the U.S. of all the scum that live there."

Joker- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bucker Carlson- "What!? You find that funny?"

Joker- "Of course not! Bucker, my boy you don't have one funny bone in your body. What IS funny though is that YOU don't get the joke!"

Bucker Carlson- "What JOKE!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"

Joker-"Well, the joke is….."

All the lights go out in the studio and the Zoom call ends abruptly. Everyone panics and scrambles in the studio until….

Flash! All the lights suddenly come back on!

Joker – The joke is….i'm already here! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Bucker Carlson- "Security!"

Joker- "Don't bother….looks like the security guards decided to trade up."

Bucker looks to see a group of security guards with horrifying clown masks on.

Joker- "Now Lyle….back to our discussion before we were SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED!"

Lyle Rippenhouse- "Please (sob, sob), I just (sob) (cough, cough) I just want to go home."

Joker –"Sure, sure you do Lyle….and you will, you will. First though, take a look under your chair."

Lyle looks under his chair to find an AR-15 assault rifle. He picks it up. He wipes the tears off of his face.

Joker – "Ahhhhhhhh, there he is. This is the moment of truth. Now I know how you don't like to be threatened so let me make this really clear. I am going to count to ten….and then blow your brains out. That is….unless you shoot me first. Now I'm nothing if not a fair man, so I promise not to shoot until I get to ten. That gives you more time to make a decision than it took you back in Genosha. Now, let the countdown begin.

"1, 2"

Lyle closes his eyes.

"3, 4"

Lyle grips the gun harder.

"5, 6"

Lyle opens his eyes and stares into the face of the Joke.

"7, 8"

Lyle lift the gun and points it at the Joker.

"9…."

Pow! Lyle shoot the AR-15. There is a loud sound and a flash of light, but…..no bullets. There

Is however a flag sticking outing of the gun that says "KABOOM!"

Joker- "Awww, Lyle….looks like you're shootin' blanks sonny boy."

Lyle-"What the Hell!? Why are you doing this to me? I didn't do anything wrong!"

Joker-"You know why I don't like politics Lyle? I don't like it because punks like you come out of the woodwork…and steal all of my press. How are people gonna fear me, when they can get offed by the boy next door?"

Bucker- "Don't listen to him Lyle, he's insane!"

Joker-"I thought I was a Pisces. Now Lyle, I've got a question for you. Have you ever danced with the devil by the pail moonlight? I always ask that of all my prey….I just like the sound of it!"

BAM! The Joker shoots Lyle in the chest. Lyle coughs up blood and tries to say one last thing.

Lyle-"W..why….I, d,didn't do anything…wr…."

Lyle is takes his last breath. He falls over dead as a doornail.

Joker- "Oh Lyle, I'm not the one to judge right or wrong but guess what? I'm glad you're dead! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm glad you're dead!

Bucker-"You bastard! You killed him! He was a hero! He was a….what is that!?"

Just then Bucker looks to see green gas shooting down from the vents in the ceiling. He tries not to breath but there is too much gas and he can't hold his breath any longer.

Bucker-"cough, cough…huh, huh, huh…..ha….ha, cough, cough, hee, hee….ha,ha….HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

The SMILEX gas causes Tucker to laugh uncontrollably until he falls over dead. His face is frozen with a morbid, grotesque smile. The same can be said for all of the other crew members. The Joker is unaffected as well as his "clowns" who have built in gas masks.

Joker- "Well, Bucker, as my plastic surgeon always said, if you gotta go, GO WITH A SMILE!" And to everyone watching at home, this has been a real "gas," but it's time to retire!" See ya in the funny pages! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Again, the lights go out. When they come back on, the Joker and his men are gone.

Minutes later, a purple and green helicopter hovers above the Fox News Headquarters. On the side of the helicopter is a cartoonish picture of the Joker's laughing face.

Just then, a sleek black vehicle races to the scene. The nose features a large jet turbine intake flanked by sweeping, mandible-like front fenders. Cold air intakes for the afterburner are mounted ahead of the rear fenders. The rear of the car has a rounded, heavy look that was set between a pair of relatively short sculpted fins. Inside, the two-seat cockpit features aircraft-like instrumentation, a passengers' side monitor, self-diagnostics system, CD recorder, and voice-command recognition system. The Batman emerges from the cockpit of the infamous Batmobile. Batman glares at the helicopter with the Joker standing out of the side door. The Joker holds up a megaphone and begins speaking.

Joker- "Into the air...junior birdman...missed me!...yeahhhh watch me!"

The Joker does a little teasing dance and then steps inside back into the helicopter. The helicopter begins to descend higher and faster into the night sky.

Just then, Batman reaches into the Batmobile and lifts up a customized version of a rocket launcher. Batman raises the rocket launcher, looks through the scope and squeezes the trigger. A rocket shoots from the launcher with a trail of smoke following behind it. In the blink of an eye, the rocket hits the side of the helicopter and explodes, decimating the helicopter and all of the inhabitants. Batman stops for a minute to take in the scene. Fire and pieces of scrap metal fall from the sky. Among the debris falls a single flower that is still attached to a shred of purple fabric. The flower falls to the ground in front of the Batman. Batman looks down at it. His armored boot steps on the flower crushing it. He then re-enters the Batmobile. The cockpit closes and with the sound of police sirens in the background, the Batmobile zooms off with a trail of fire behind it and disappears into the night.

1. The Darkest Knight