The Little Camouflage Book

Assigned Topic 4: Betrayal

Well, here it goes again, yet another stupid thing that I have to write about in this journal then Mrs. Green can post it on the internet and let everyone know my deepest darkest secrets. But then again, maybe I deserve this to happen to me. I mean I have the worst type of betrayal to write about. My mouth and my lies (to myself) may have cost me the love of my life.

You see yesterday after class Mush told me that he loved me. I automatically switched into defensive mode and started telling him that it wasn't the sort of thing that people should joke about. The he did something I had been dreaming of for the longest time, he kissed me.

So, I guess that my telling myself that I was straight for so long may have caused me to not kiss back. He ran away from me...and we haven't talked since.

I can't keep my eyes off him. He's so beautiful, I can't believe that I've never really thought of him like this before. I mean I've joked about it before, but never really took the time to stare at him. I wish that there was some sort of way that I could let him know that I didn't mean what I said.

He's crying now, and the edge of my paper is looking more and more appealing. I can't betray that I'm enough of a bastard to break his heart because of my pride.

I reached over and almost put my hand on his before I stopped. What would Spot think? What would everyone in out group think? I mean sure we sometimes act gay, but none of us actually are right? I mean besides me and Mush, right? Well, I think that I love Mush, so that should be enough, right?

I mean I've never needed Mr. Spot "I'm so short that I have Napoleonic Complex" Conlon to tell me what was right and wrong before.

So, why did I need his permission now? But something inside of me keeps thinking that if it is true, that if I am gay, that nothing will be the same between me and my friends again. But if I hide it, then nothing will be the same between me and Mush again.

I take a deep breathe as I place my hand over Mush's and squeeze it.

As I am now holding his hand I know the truth, I do love him, so maybe I can forgive my mouth for its betrayal. Now, my only hope is that he will forgive me to. Oops, Mrs. Green said time it up!

A/N: YAY! Now it's time for Shout-outs!

Liams Kitten: Hey, aren't you proud that Blink is willing to admit that he's a sexy eyepatch man? Well, I hope that your Blink!Muse has come back. Thanks for the review.

Eagle Higgins-Conlon: I will look at your profile once I'm done with these shout-outs. Well, I'm glad that you liked it, and Blink was being better... only I think he's relapsing back to the edge of the paper (sorry for the bad spelling, I'm stuck using WordPad...) Thanks for your review!

Erin Go Bragh: Hey, I'd love to have you write a journal! I'd have to check, but I think there are some people left (like Bumlets and Boots). So, if you still want to you so can!

ocdchic: Wow, you like the fun idea. Well, I didn't really think of it, the stupid English teachers did...and they forced me to write them...grr.. but they are fun now... Well, thanks for the review!

Bookey Elliot: Well, I hope you liked it, I know that I love Race's journal so far. I hope you are enjoying being a part of it. Thanks for the review.

C.M. Higgins: Bookey Elliot is doing Race's journal. I know Blink is gay, and now he's willing to admit it, bwahahahahahahaha coughcough hahahahaha Well, thanks for the review.

SpecsGlasses: YAY! You do get to review it! And ya know what, I'll even let you review it again... lol, sorry, I'm in an odd mood... Well, I'm glad you liked Blink's dream. Thanks for the review!

Daydream: I'm glad that you liked it, I look foreward to your e-mail (if I haven't already gotten it) although I'm really sorry if someone already has him. Thanks for the review.

Green Cricket: So, are you enjoying writing Snipeshooters? I know that I really enjoy reading it. Well, thanks for your review (and for helping in my little project thing)

Ari: Your review made me crack up for so many reasons. You see, my best friend Maria goes by Ari... so I got your review and I was like "Oh my God! The Ari's are multipling! They are going to take over the world!" Then I realized that I have a really strange imagination. Thanks for the review.

Gryffin Parker: OH MY GOD! How did you figure it out? He didn't want anyone to know his top secret plan! Well, I really loved your review, so thanks for reviewing, I love to laugh.

A/N: Well, please review again... and make your review funny, and long, then you can get a really long shout-out (and I can laugh). Thanks to all of my readers who don't bother to review...