Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. I don't even pretend to own them.
Spoilers: If you have never seen SVU then it may be but there are no specific spoilers. I made up Tom Pullman, Bev, Becky, and Petey Jones and anyone else that shows up in the fic that you don't recognize and if you really want them you can have them. Just remember it's all in good fun.
Summary: Olivia has been working SVU for 7 years. What is going on in her head, what is behind those brown eyes. Can Olivia find the comfort she so desperately needs.
1.
Olivia Benson was tossing and turning in her bed. Her sheets were twisted and one pillow had been banished to the floor. She sat up and kicked and twisted the sheets until they were straightened out. Then she laid back with a sigh, feeling some relief from the exhaustion that had started taking over her life. She started drifting off to sleep enjoying sweet dreams. Then the cell phone started ringing on the bedside table.
"Benson!" she spit into the phone.
"Olivia I'm sorry to bother but we have an assault in progress in apartment 9a, called in by an neighbor. Elliot is on his way right now." Captain Cragen rattled off.
"Wait what's the address of this apartment 9a?" Olivia asked with confusion.
"Oh sorry, it's your apartment building. Elliot should be there now."
"I'm on it Cap."
Olivia shot out of bed a fresh energy throwing her out of her exhausted state. She threw some track pants on over her boxers and a NYPD detective hoodie over her tank. She clipped her badge to the pouch and took her gun, but left her holster on her nightstand. She ran out her door and into the hallway. Elliot was coming out of the elevator, looking like he too had been brought out of bed. He locked eyes with Olivia and they quickly and silently made their way to the stairwell. They flew up the four flights to the ninth floor. When they came out in the hall they heard loud noises coming from 9a then silence. They rushed over to the door and pounded on it.
"NYPD OPEN UP!" Olivia shouted and pounded again.
When no one answered she moved out of the way and Elliot opened up the door entering the apartment first, guns at the ready.
They cleared the living room. It looked fairly well kept up except for toys that were spilling into the middle of the room from a toy box. They entered the kitchen and found two children crying, a little boy about 5 and a little girl about 7. Olivia stayed in the kitchen with them, squatting down to their height, while Elliot proceeded to the master bedroom.
"Hi, my name is Olivia, I'm a police officer." Olivia started talking to the children and unfastening her badge from her sweatshirt and handing it to the two wide-eyed young kids.
The little boy took the badge and started to cry. Olivia held out her arms and the little boy nestled into her arms. The little girl looked at Olivia with awe.
"You really a police officer?" she asked shyly.
"Yes, and my partner and I have come to help you guys out. What is your name sweetheart?"
"Becky, and my brother's name is Petey." Just then shouting started invading the suddenly eerily quiet apartment.
"Thank you Becky, how about we get out of here."
She picked up Petey who has still silently crying in her arms and took Becky's hand and they went out into the hall. Where two uniformed officers had joined for back up.
Meanwhile with Elliot/
Elliot cleared the hall and the first two bedrooms and bathroom leaving the master bedroom at the end of the hall all that was left. The door was slightly ajar. He could make out quiet struggling sounds coming from with in the room. He pushed the door open with his foot letting his gun enter the room first. The room was light by the moon coming in the window. And the master bathroom light was on. The woman was bound to the bed with a gag in her mouth to keep her quiet. The perp had in his haste to get away from the intrusion had tripped over his pants that were around his ankles and hit his head on the footboard of the bed. He was just starting to pick himself up when Elliot put his foot on his back forcing him back to the ground.
"I don't think so buddy." Elliot growled at the man as he reached around for his cuffs and slapped one side on and pulled him up by the back of his T-shirt. He held on to the scruff of his neck as he ordered the perp to pull up his pants. After that was accomplished he slapped the other side of the cuffs on and threw him into the waiting hands of a uniform. He then turned toward the woman and released her from the binding and gags. She started crying then. He called out for Olivia.
"There is an ambulance on the way. The Uni's are taking the perp to the station for interrogation we will have a go at him when we get there; Cragen is waiting for us to get back. The kids are waiting for a social worker, in the living room, she will take them to the hospital." Olivia filled Elliot in on what was going on outside of the room.
"Thanks Liv, do you wanna talk to the woman, she seems kinda skittish around me."
"Sure El. Why don't you go wait with the kids."
Elliot left the room, heading back out to where the kids were waiting. Olivia turned and saw the young mother sobbing. She started walking over, the woman was looking at her with pleading eyes tears still streaming down her face.
"Please just get me out of here. Please."
"There is an ambulance on the way, Honey, why don't we try and get out of bed."
Olivia reached out to the woman but she shrunk away and started getting up herself. Olivia stepped back away not touching the woman but ready to jump in to help if she needed it. The woman had a pretty banged up leg.
"We can talk when we get you checked out at the hospital. What is your name, Honey?"
"Bev. Beverly Jones."
"Okay Bev the Ambulance is here. I'm going to go and check on the kids are you going to be alright."
"I don't know."
"We'll meet you at the hospital and don't worry about your children they are in safe hands."
Olivia looked back at Bev as she was exiting the room. The EMTs were assessing her and getting ready to move her out of the apartment.
When she walked into the living room Elliot was talking to another woman.
"Cindy this is my partner Olivia."
"Hello Olivia, I'm for social services. I'm going to take Becky and Petey to the hospital and from there we will decide what to do. Maybe the Jones have someone that they can stay with for a few days."
"Alright." Olivia listened to what Cindy had to say. "El lets go check on Bev at the hospital and then get over to the station to see Novak and the perp."
They quickly stopped at Olivia's Apartment so she could grab her holster and a jacket.
Hospital/
Olivia walked into the curtained area of the ER where Bev Jones was assigned. Elliot was outside in the hall talking to the doctor.
"Hi Bev. I'm Olivia. How are you doing?"
"Are my kids okay?"
"They are outside with Cindy from Social Services. She will be in soon to talk to you about options. How are you doing, that's what I'm worried about right now."
"I'm doing okay considered."
"What happened. I'm going to need a statement and if you are up to it we can take care of it right now."
"I just want to get this out of the way." Bev stated with tears in her eyes.
"Okay lets get started." Olivia pulled up a chair and took out of her pocket a pad and pen.
"Do you know your attacker?"
"Yes he is a new neighbor, Tom Pullman. He lives I think in Apartment 9d. He had been really friendly when he first moved in. He would give candy to the kids and he invited me out to the movies, however I had to turn him down because I had a previous engagement that I need to attend to for work."
"Okay, what happened tonight?" Olivia asked as she scribbled on her pad.
"I had put the kids to bed and started tidying up the house at about eight thirty. There was a knock at the door. Tom was there he had a bottle of diet coke, he knew that I didn't drink, and a movie with him. He asked if I was up for a movie night. I thought what not, we were going to rain check the previous date anyway, so he came in and I got us some glasses with ice and we settled down on the couch to watch the movie it ended about quarter to eleven. He got up to leave but instead of leaving he turned around with that look in his eye you know the one that vacant one were he wants what he wants no matter what. He reached for my shoulders and leaned in to kiss me. I accepted the kiss, but that was all I wanted. It didn't need to go further. I didn't want it to go further. He leaned back in again but I stepped back. He then drew back his hand and slapped me…… can I have a drink of water please?"
Olivia stopped writing on her pad and looked glanced up. "Sure, just a second," she said with a reassuring smile.
She stepped outside to get a nurse. The nurse and Olivia returned after a moment. Bev took the drink and the nurse left a pitcher on the tray. Olivia returned to her seat. Bev took a deep breath and continued.
"The slap was so hard I thought that it would knock me out. It didn't however. He came at me then. Yelling how could I refuse him, I tried to ask him to be quiet I didn't want the children to wake up. He pushed me into the toy box and my foot got caught in one of Petey's toys and I fell banging and scratching my leg on the wooden box, knocking all the toys across the floor. He then roughly picked me up and took me to the bedroom. The kids came out to the kitchen then and they started crying I told them to stay there. When we got into the bedroom he put my hands behind my head and tied them with something I couldn't see and put a handkerchief, from his pocket into my mouth to shut me up. He then undid his pants a climbed onto the bed. He then proceeded to rape me, he didn't use a condom. Your partner walked in just as he was finishing."
"Okay we will need some pictures for evidence. We will change the locks on your apartment, and fix your door. Cindy will be in to discuss where you and your children can go until you can or want to return home. Everything is going to be okay Bev, here is my card."
Bev took the card and looked at it. "Benson? Wait I thought I recognized you live in the building don't you, that's why you got there so fast."
"Yes I live on the 5th floor. Don't worry this is a pretty simple case. We might need to talk to you later. And you will probably have to be a witness so don't go too far. I'll send Cindy in now."
Olivia walked out of the curtain area. She should have known, she should have done more, this doesn't happen under her watch, it happened in her apartment. She shook her head and headed out to where Cindy was waiting for the statement to be taken.
SVU Squad room a few hours later/
Elliot walked out of the interview room and into the observation room.
Olivia, Casey and Cragen were standing watching the interview.
"This should be a fairly easy case to win. We caught the perp with his pants down. We have physical evidence of physical assault. And we have a strong testimony from the victim." Casey said confidently.
"I hope we got it, I should have been able to do better." Olivia said with downcast eyes.
"Olivia it is okay there is nothing you could have done. You can't know everything that goes on in your building. It is impossible, your not even there half the time you're here." Cragen said to her reassuringly.
Two weeks later/
Casey Novak strolled into the SVU Squad room. She came to a stop and dropped her briefcase on the floor next to Fin's desk and spun around.
"We got him. He will be serving 5 years at Rikers and then probation. However he might end up getting out early he will be put in the books at a sexual predator. Either way we nailed him, it was touch and go for a while. Defense tried to paint the picture of consent and 'she liked it rough.'" She said with a grin.
"Great job Novak," Elliot said standing up from his desk and going to the coffeepot.
"Where is Olivia?"
"She is taking the day off, she will be back tomorrow."
"Well if you talk to her let her know the verdict."
"Will do, thanks for the update."
The Precinct Gym/
Olivia gave the bag a hard right jab and then brought her right leg around for a sharp roundhouse kick. The bag swung left then came back and she grabbed it with both her arms hugging the bag.
"Benson. Don't want to get you mad."
Olivia looked around the bag.
"Hey El."
"I tried your house and cell. When I didn't get an answer I figured you were here."
"Yeah, what's up?" Olivia asked leaning into the bag for support.
"Novak came back with the sentencing. 5 years at Rikers then probation. She said he might get out early but he is registered now and that the case was a tough one the defense tried to say rough consent."
"Jesus Christ. What is this shit? Rough consent? Where do these people come up with these things." Olivia released the back and gave it a jab.
"We got him though Liv. We got him. Bev is doing okay I guess she is moving back from her sister's to her apartment. Someone has already moved into 9d, your building must have a waiting list."
"Yeah actually it does. It is one of the nicer buildings in the neighborhood. I'm going to go home now I've done enough damage to this bag. I'll see you tomorrow, call if you need anything."
"No you have had a rough couple weeks. Go home and I don't want to see or hear from you until tomorrow morning."
"Yes Dad." Olivia swatted Elliot's shoulder as they both exited the gym.
Olivia climbed into her car; she had driven over today. She shifted into gear with a sigh, it was hard to pretend so much when she was at work, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep up her facade.
&&&
Olivia locked the door behind her, hung her keys on the hook by the door and dropped her bag onto the floor in the entryway. She sighed taking a look at the answering machine and seeing no new messages she headed to her bedroom and shed her work out clothes and went into the bathroom to shower. As the steam started to billow she stepped into the spray. God if felt good. The grim of her workout started to wash away. However, the feelings inside her refused to wash away.
Aside from Bev's case, which was seemingly easy aside from the fact that it happened in her own apartment building, she and Elliot had a tough case that dealt with a child who was accused and convicted of sexual assault. The defense insisted that the crime was one of childhood misunderstanding and genetic dispositions, not that either of those could make a solid case, he tried… You see, the defense attorney had stated, this boy's father is not his biological father. His biological father is in prison out west for aggravated assault and sexual encounters with a minor, this boy's mother. He was brought up well aware that his father was a criminal and that he too was a bad boy, which is what his maternal grandmother always called him. Olivia hated cases like this it brought back too many crappy memories. She was nothing like her father. Nothing. NOTHING!
The water was starting to get cold. Olivia let it. If she couldn't wash away the feelings she was having maybe she could freeze them away. Tears streamed down her face. She didn't understand. Usually it went away, usually it was subtle, not this time this time the feeling was too much to handle. SHE WOULD NOT BE HER FATHER. She slammed the water off and stepped out of the shower, not even bothering with a towel she stood at the sink. She looked at herself in the mirror as the steam receded. She could not bear to look at herself. It disgusted her. She threw a punch at the mirror holding her image. The hit was so powerful that it shattered the mirror and she scrapped her knuckles, taking a fairly large chunk out of her one knuckle on her right hand.
She panicked. Shit what? Shit I can't believe I just did that. She grabbed for a clean towel so she didn't get an infection. she rummaged through the medicine cabinet to fine some gauze and a bandage, being careful not to step or place her other hand on anymore broken glass. She located the supplies and started to wash and dress the wound. God damn it I think this is going to need stitches. How the hell am I going to explain this to the Captain. Shit.
She quickly got dressed and raced out into the street and hailed a taxi. She brought a towel because the bleeding was coming through the bandage she had applied. The taxi pulled up to the emergency room entrance and she paid him and ran in.
"How can I help you." The desk attendant asked with less enthusiasm than Olivia thought possible.
"I cut my hand I think I may need stitches." Olivia stated.
"Can you fill this out." The DA handed her a clip board and pen.
"It was my right hand. And I'm right handed, no I can't fill it out." Olivia was getting annoyed.
Why am I getting annoyed he might not have realized. How could he not notice my towel wrapped hand. Whatever. Don't get upset Olivia. Jesus I'm talking to myself.
"Okay ma'am. Just give me your name and I'll have one of the nurses come get you when they are ready." The attendant said as he took back the instruments, pen posed and waiting.
"Olivia Benson."
"Okay Ms. Benson just have a seat and I will have someone with you very quickly."
No sooner had she sat down then a nurse came to the waiting room entryway.
"Olivia Benson."
Olivia got up and followed the nurse to a curtained area. She hopped up on the bed and waited expectantly. The nurse carefully pulled the towel away and saw that the previous bandaging had been saturated. She then very carefully lifted the edge of it with a gloved hand.
"Yup, your right this is going to need some stitches. Have you ever been here before, incase we have a file on you."
"Yes I was here once last year when I was injured on the job." Olivia stated.
"Okay well let me go grab that chart and a doctor, I'll be right back. You can lay down if you want your looking a little pale."
"Thank you." Olivia slowly laid down, all of a sudden she didn't feel so well. She didn't know if it was the cut or nerves but she was feeling a little nauseous. She must have dosed off for a minute because the next thing she knew there was a doctor holding and examining her hand. She started to sit up.
"No you don't have to sit up its okay. Olivia my name is Dr. Vicky Velez. Can you tell me…"
With that the nausea that was brewing in her system let loose. She sat up and threw up on the floor at the doctor's feet. The doctor jumped back slightly to avoid a shoe disaster and the nurse came up behind Olivia and helped her to lay back onto the bed. The doctor grabbed Olivia's chart, to see what was written there. There was nothing that stuck out for the Dr. other then the fact that Olivia was a detective and her emergency contact was her… partner or her captain. She decided that she would have the precinct called and see which one was available to come down.
Olivia threw up again. She was starting to shake a little, the vomiting was taking a lot out of her. She curled up into a ball on the bed and cried out when she pressed on her injured hand slightly. Dr. Velez had the nurse give Olivia a sedating drug after checking for allergies in her chart and had her go and call the 1-6 precinct to see if her partner or captain could come in. Then the doctor started on cleaning and stitching the wound.
17 minutes later/
Elliot and Cragen came flying into the ER. They asked about Olivia at the front desk and were directed to the second curtain on the left. They raced around the desk and came to a screeching halt at the sight they saw. Olivia was sleeping with small drip of fluids and medication; her hand was all gauzed up. A doctor approached them.
"Hello are you Detective Stabler and Captain Cragen?"
"Yes" they proclaimed together.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Vicky Velez." Elliot paled and turned away.
"Dr. Velez can I talked to over here for a minute." Cragen asked the confused Doctor, leading her a few feet away from Elliot and Olivia.
"I don't mean to be disrespectful or rude, but it may be best if you hand Olivia's care off to another doctor if at all possible."
"Why? Does this have anything to do with Detective Benson's and Stabler's reactions to me. After I said my name Olivia's nausea over came her and she nearly vomited on me and Detective Stabler paled at my name."
"Yes unfortunate it does. My detectives lost a very, very good friend and colleague to a high profile criminal that shares a surname with you. I'm sure that you are unrelated seeing he had no female children. It has been a little over two years and they are still trying to deal with it."
"Alright well why don't I tell you what we have then I'll find another doctor. I'm sorry, I usually just have people call me Dr. Vic."
"It's alright, try not to take it personally. Olivia will probably feel terrible once everything is said and done."
"Okay well Olivia came in about 45 minutes ago with a laceration to her knuckles and back of her right hand. She looked pale and clammy when she got back here, that was before she even met me. She lost her lunch after I gave her my name. She has five stitches on the back of her hand and fingers. She was unable to tell us what happened. We have her on some antibiotics to help avoid infection there was some glass stuck in the wound. We also put her on some fluids she appeared to be dehydrated and getting sick didn't help it at all. She is resting now. We had to sedate her to get her hand clean. She was a wreck."
"Thank you doctor. I appreciate what you have done."
"I'll send in Dr. Johnston to set up release. She should be able to go home once the medication and fluids empty and she wakes up. Which should be shortly."
Dr. Vic turned and walked toward the nurse's station. Cragen turned and went into Olivia's area where Elliot was sitting in a chair waiting.
Cragen filled Elliot in on what the doctor had said about everything. When he was through Olivia started to stir and open her eyes. She looked around the room and started to get up.
"Whoa, Liv what are you doing." Elliot stood up and put a hand out to stop her. "You have to stay here until those bags are empty."
"El, what the hell are you and Cap doing here?"
"You put us as your emergency contacts on your ER chart don't you remember."
"No. Sort of. I just want to get out of here."
"The bags are empty so we just have to wait for the doctor." Captain Cragen said strolling over to the hanger.
Just then the doctor poked his head in.
"Hi Detectives, I'm Dr. Johnston, it looks like you are ready to leave. Let me just pull out this IV…. Okay here is some scrips for some medication it is only for a few days take them all please. You can come back here in a week or go to your primary doctor to get the stitches out."
"I'll go to the precinct doctor, thanks."
"I guess that will work too. Here is the paper work just sign here and you are set to go."
Olivia scribbled her name across the line and hopped off the table.
"Don't forget to fill the script. And have and great day."
"Yeah." Olivia called over her shoulder.
"Liv, do you need a ride home? I can wait while you get that filled."
Olivia was going to refuse the ride from Elliot but decided that it would be best if she did accept it, she didn't want more questions to be asked then necessary.
"Sure El, thanks." She said as they entered the Pharmacy across the hall from the ER. She quickly filled the prescription and she and Elliot loaded up into the car. Cragen had caught a cab back to the precinct.
They drove in silence for the first few seconds of the trip. Elliot broke the silence.
"So what happened partner."
"I don't want to talk about it. It was nothing just an accident."
"Are you sure. That is some heavy damage for an accident. Do you want to talk about Velez?"
"No, I don't." Olivia stared out the window just wanting to get back to her apartment and clean up and go to bed.
"We're here do you want me to walk you upstairs?"
"No El! I'm fine, I'll see you tomorrow." Olivia got out and slammed the door.
"Liv, Cap said you could have tomorrow off too." Elliot called through the window that he rolled down.
"No I'll be in I'll be fine in the morning." She stalked off toward the building.
"Okay Liv." Elliot called out the window as he drove back toward the station.
A/N: Okay here it is. The first installment of a short SVU fic mostly revolving around Olivia. It probably will only be one or two more installments long. I'm taking a break from my other stories and trying something new. Enjoy and review. Peace