Chapter 5

Ron and Hermione had spent the past half hour sitting on Ron's couch leaning against each other, talking quietly and worriedly about what was going on between Harry and Ginny. When Harry hadn't returned immediately, the two assumed that there must have been something going on to keep him from coming back, and were absolutely dying with curiosity. Approximately two minutes after five, Harry appeared with a POP right behind the sofa where Ron and Hermione were waiting, their heads swiveling around so fast they looked like puppets.

Harry had a dazed expression on his face, his emerald eyes slightly glazed over, and his arms loosely held at his side. As if in a dream, Harry walked slowly to his favorite chair (that, coincidentally, was facing the couch) and slowly bent to sit down on it. Once seated, he slowly leaned against the chair's high back, and closed his eyes.

Ron and Hermione shared a look, and sat silently for a moment or two, in case Harry might want to confide in them. After around thirty seconds, Ron couldn't take it any more, and, trying to sound nonchalant (but failing impressively), said "So, didja find the magazines?" At hearing this, Hermione slapped his arm quite hard, but didn't say a word.

Harry, with his eyes still closed, barely whispered "Did you both know?"

Surprised at his answer, Hermione ventured a shy-sounding "Come again?"

Leaning forward, eyes open, and louder this time, Harry said "Did you, both know?"

Sharing a look with Hermione, Ron tried an answer this time, "Did we know what, mate?"

Harry stood up, and sounding quite angry indeed, was very close to yelling: "Did – the two of you – know that – Ginny – has been in... in love – with me, since we were in school?!"

Ron and Hermione were shocked at hearing this come from Harry because, for one, they never thought that Ginny would ever admit it to his face, and for another, that after hearing that, he was here talking to them, not back there with her.

After a few moments pause, Hermione calmly replied for the both of them, "Yes. For some time now, frankly."

Seething, Harry screamed at them so loudly the neighbors three blocks away would have heard, had he and Ron not put privacy charms on their apartment when they first moved in. "HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU TWO NOT TELL ME? I'VE LOVED HER FOR AGES!! YOU BOTH KNEW THAT!!"

This was definitely not the response Ron or Hermione was expecting, for they certainly had no idea he had felt anything other than brotherly love towards her (they certainly hoped he would feel more eventually, but had no previous notion of his feelings). Ron seemed to have lost all ability to talk coherently, so Hermione assumed charge of their side of the conversation (if it weren't for the fact that he was fuming, Harry would have found it endearing that they were talking as one entity). "No, Harry, we had no idea that you felt this way about her at all. You kind of... stopped sharing your real feelings with anyone after... well, after the war."

Losing some of his fury, Harry flopped wearily back into his chair. "Ginny said the exact same thing, somewhere in between telling me off for causing her enough pain to force her to drink enough fire-whiskey every day to become her own liquor store."

Hermione cringed. Ron started at him open-mouthed. "Every... every day?" He whipped around to face Hermione. "Did you know about that??"

She sighed, promising herself that she would take a day off tomorrow and spend a nice, relaxing day at the spa. "Yes, Ron, I knew. But," she cut him off from furiously trying to cut her off, "she made me swear not to tell a soul. I promised her. Now is not the time to go into that, okay?" Ron, still livid, nodded through clenched teeth. Hermione turned back to Harry, who was sitting, looking exhausted, in his chair. "What else did she tell you Harry?"

Harry sighed, considering what he should tell them – it wasn't that he had forgotten what she had said; no, he would never forget a word. But there were five words that haunted him that he was somewhat sensitive about. "She said..." he began, his voice catching in his throat. Coughing, he tried again. "She said that... that she's been wasting her life on me. That I've been killing her by making her feel the way she does. That..." he choked. Those five words just did not want to come out. After a slight pause, he tried to continue, but his voice was much huskier, and incredibly subdued. "That she couldn't keep loving me."

The world inside their apartment stopped moving. Not a sound was heard. Ron's mouth fell open for the second time that day. Hermione's eyes brimmed with tears, also for the second time, but more with pity now. She sighed, and looked right at Harry. After he had finished speaking, his head bent forward and he seemed to be studying every fiber on the carpet intensely. On closer inspection, he too looked ready to cry (though he would never show either of them that – well, maybe he would have if Ron wasn't there).

"So, what are you going to do?"

Both men stared at her, neither expecting any conversation for quite some time after that declaration. Hermione shook her head as if to clear her thoughts.

"Wait, bugger that... what else happened? Why are you here instead of there with her?"

Harry sighed. "She wouldn't let me say a thing. After yelling at me for some time, and breaking what's left of my heart in the process, she said that she got a job in Spain, and was leaving tomorrow night. And-" Harry stopped short. He had conveniently forgotten to tell them this part originally. It was still too painful. Though, he mused inwardly, hoping the other two didn't notice that he had stopped right in the middle of a sentence, apparently not as much pain as I've caused her by being a the biggest bloody prat in all of England.

Hermione, despite being shocked by the information that her roommate was moving out the next day without any notice, much to Harry's perturbation, had indeed noticed that he had stopped short. She gave him a minute to gather his thoughts, and then gently asked, "What else Harry?"

He sighed, realizing the sooner he got it out in the air, the sooner he wouldn't have to think about it anymore – it was that moment when he understood exactly how Ginny had felt during all those months when she had been drowning her troubles with alcohol. All he wanted to do was to forget... which was precisely what Ginny had been trying to do. It took all his strength to keep from either bursting into tears or running to his and Ron's liquor/beer cabinet and drinking all its contents in one sitting. He took deep breaths, and steadied himself.

"And she said she never wanted to see me again."

Hermione looked as if she had expected that response, while Ron still looked utterly shocked at the whole thing (he was being fairly useless at the moment, actually, still sitting there with his mouth hanging open, catching flies). Hermione hadn't forgotten that Harry hadn't answered why he was here with them instead of there with Ginny, but decided that she didn't want to push him too far. Hermione repeated the question she had asked earlier.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing."