Chapter 5

Excitate vow e somno

Wake up from your dreams

The next few days after Madame Pomfrey finally let him out of her clutches were pure hell for Snape. Everyone treated him as if he were made of glass, always asking if he was alright or if he needed anything. He would always answer back in frosty tones that he was perfectly fine and they should mind their own damn business. The last straw came when Trelawney cornered him in the teacher's lounge as he was writing up the lesson plan for Advanced Potions.

"Severus Snape," she tsked, "You shouldn't be overworking yourself." She reached over and plucked the quill from his hand. She didn't notice the murderous look that crossed his face as she continued to prattle on. "Honestly, you need to take care of yourself. I mean who knows what you might do if exposed to more stress..."

Something inside Snape's head snapped. He stood up slowly, and Trelawney's stream of words faded off into a squeak as she realized that she had gone too far. He slowly stalked towards her and she scrambled backwards until he had her cornered. He snatched his quill back from her limp fingers.

"You stupid, pathetic little woman," he hissed in a voice dripping with venom. "Do not ever assume you know anything about me. In the future suggest you mind your own damn business, and keep your nose out of mine."

Snape exited the room with a smug sense of self satisfaction. It felt good to take his anger and frustration out on someone, which he hadn't really been able to do since the students had gone home for the summer. Normally he wouldn't yell at a fellow teacher, but Trelawney had chosen the wrong time to pester him about his state of well being. He decided to retreat to the potions lab in an attempt to finish the rest of his lesson plans, but his brain kept going back to the nightmare he had been having ever since the night he had tried to cut the Dark Mark from his arm.

With a snort of frustration he tossed his quill down and raked his fingers thru his lank hair. The nightmares were becoming more vivid and disturbing as he was forced to relive the night that had caused him to turn himself into Dumbledore. One of the most disturbing facts was that the girl he had killed was replaced by the woman that helped him recently escape the Death Eater's at the bar. Those golden eyes of hers still haunted him even when he was awake. There were times he thought he could see her out of the corner of his eye, or briefly in the reflection of a mirror. Of course he knew it was just a case of overactive imagination mixed in with a hefty dose of guilt and lack of sleep that was causing him to see things. But sometimes…

Snape shook his head and sighed. He was getting to easily distracted as of late, and in these times that was dangerous. Now was not the time to dwell in the past.

Snape picked up his quill and parchment and shoved them into a drawer before heading back to his room. Although he was tired, sleep was the furthest thing from his mind. He knew as soon as he closed his eyes the nightmare would be back.

As he paced around his room, he could feel exhaustion creeping up on him. His eyes were drawn to the empty bottles of dreamless sleep potion that lay scattered about the room. They had been absolutely useless at keeping the nightmares at bay. In a fit of anger he kicked one of the bottles sending it crashing into the wall, shattering into a burst of glass shards. Snape snorted in impotent anger as he finally slumped into a chair. Although his anger managed to fight his weariness off for a moment, it came crashing back down on him a hundredfold. As he sat for a moment struggling to keep his eyes open, a thought occurred to him. Maybe he should just let the nightmares come. He deserved them. They were just punishment for all he had done. Firming his resolve, Snape leaned back into the chair and gave up all resistance, and let sleep take him.

Snape was almost done with his bottle of brandy by the time that Karkaroff and Malfoy were done. Malfoy had come out of his room, casually wiping blood off his hands. He looked at Snake with a wicked smirk.

"Are you sure you don't want to join in on the festivities, Severus?" Malfoy asked. "You definitely look in need of some loosening up…"

"As I said, I'm fine right here," Snape replied in a frosty tone, as Karkaroff had exited his room as well. Slumping further down in his chair, Snape took another swig, only to find that the bottle was empty. Before he could get up to get another, Karkaroff was at his side, handing him a fresh bottle.

"Here you go Severus," he smirked as he placed the brandy in Snape's hand. "If you won't have one of the girls, you might as well drink some more…"

If Snape hadn't drunken so much, he would have never taken the bottle. But in his haste to numb himself from everything that was going on, he took the bottle eagerly and drank several large swallows before his common sense kicked in. Slowly he felt something stirring inside him as he realized with dawning horror that Karkaroff had put something in the brandy. His fingers felt numb and the bottle slipped from his hands as he felt himself lose control of himself. It was if he was being held hostage in his own body. He mechanically stood up and was dimly aware of Karkaroff opening the door to the room holding the last girl.

AN: 1/4/05

Woah, has it really been over a year since I updated? I'm sooo sorry! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!Life has thrown me a lot of crap this past year and I haven't had time to update. But hopefully (for those of you who don't hate me enuff to keep reading) I'll pump out a few more chapters to your liking.