Life doesn't work that way

By Dany

Summary: Conversations can change your life.

A/N: Response to an Unbound Challenge.
Thanks to my 'little helpers'!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.

xxxxx

"You always look before you leap." He twisted the styrofoam cup around as a sign of nervousness.

The time had come where his friend had to listen. "You never just jump in with both feet and eyes closed. But life doesn't work that way. Sometimes, faith is all you have, and you have to go for it."

He sat on the steps behind the crime lab and watched his friend pace while he sipped on the brown liquid in the cup. After a long day, they had fled outside to escape the storm that was raging within the lab.

When there was no response, he continued. "I don't know why you're having such a hard time with this, but you can't keep standing on the precipice. No matter what, you have to do something. So… either step back and leave, or step forward and jump."

He stood up and looked at the person pacing. With a shake of the head he went back inside, knowing that any further word would be wasted.

xxxxx

Watching somebody you care about throw away a chance on life hurts. But if you were out of ideas on how to help, what else could you do?

She watched him as he reentered the lab, head hung low, shoulders slumped. Words had already failed tonight, but that didn't mean she wouldn't try again.

She followed him through the corridors until he left the building through the front, and hurried to catch him before he had the chance to get into his car and drive away.

"Where do you think you're going?"

He said nothing, but stopped walking, facing away from her.

"You can't run away from it and hope that everything will be forgotten by tomorrow." She walked toward him, hoping to get a look at his face to see what was going on inside his head, but he refused to turn around.

"Life doesn't work that way."

At last he gave an indication that he had been listening. He moved his head in what looked like a nod.

She retreated again, knowing she had said her piece, and he had listened. Now it needed to sink in.

xxxxx

Pulling into the parking lot of her building, Sara Sidle saw a familiar car next to the entrance. Grissom was the last person she wanted to see right now, but it looked like she didn't have a choice.

With determined strides she neared his car and knocked on the window. His eyes had been closed and he jumped at the noise, his eyes flying toward her.

When he opened the door, she stared at him, showing him her anger. "What are you doing here?"

Sara took a step back so that he could climb out of the car. They came to stand opposite each other, he with his back to the car, not having any way to retreat which made him visibly uncomfortable. When he finally replied, his voice was not the calm and factual one he usually used. "I came to apologize."

Sara brought her arms up and crossed them in front of her chest.

"I shouldn't have raised my voice."

Grissom hadn't said the words yet, and although Sara knew it was childish, she waited for them to come out of his mouth.

"For once, I lost all control. With you, that's so easy. That scares me, more than you could know."

Her eyes told him to go on if he wanted her forgiveness. His words were touching her, but she was not quite ready to let it go.

"I know you can handle a lot, but you just can't delve into a case this deep. Sometimes it seems like you don't care about yourself. Sara," he paused, closing his eyes to gather himself, "you almost got hurt tonight." His eyes opened and she saw the emotions swirling in them.

Her stance softened, knowing what it took for him to tell her all of this. "Tell me…Tell me why."

Grissom looked a bit startled by her words, but he knew what she was asking. "I care."

"So do I."

"I'm sorry."

There they were, the words she had been waiting for, but now they seemed to pale in light of his previous admission.

Neither seemed to know what to say, both still trying to come to deal with their emotions.

Grissom was the first to recover. "I had two interesting conversations tonight. Rather Brass and Catherine talked, and I had to listen. They told me that life doesn't work the way I have been going about it." He shifted slightly, showing his nerves, but in some odd way it comforted her that his emotions were running so high.

"I want to take a chance, but what if I fail? I would lose everything."

Sara unfolded her arms and stepped closer. Her hands went to his and she softly stroked her thumbs over the backs of his hands in order to reassure him. "If we mess this up, we'll rearrange and try again. There are no guarantees in life, but I won't go down without a fight."

The doubts were still there, but receding. Sara knew that he was starting to understand. "Grissom, with you, I care."

Slowly, he nodded, seeing what she was trying to tell him.

Her heart warmed, and she gave him her brightest smile. "Whatever happens, I promise that this isn't your last chance, but it's the best one."

The End