Thanks for the reviews Guest, burketeresa4, and DS2010!

Ren didn't know how long he spent trapped in a rage-induced delirium. All he knew was that, by the end of it, the forest in which they had fought was gone. No life remained in the vicinity. Instead, a foot-wide crack ran through the barren ground, disappearing beneath the castle walls.

Ren looked around himself, taking in the destruction he had caused. Rey was going to be furious with him. She was going to come back and see that she had been right about him. She would see that he was out of control and destructive and then she would leave again.

And she was right about him. He destroyed everything he touched - figuratively and, on Mortis, literally. Who was to say that if he wouldn't hurt Rey too? He couldn't be trusted. He didn't even trust himself...how could he expect her to trust him?

All he knew was how to destroy. Snoke had unleashed him on his enemies like a trained dog and dutifully, Ren had destroyed whatever and whomever Snoke wanted him to. He had relished in the freedom to release his anger so fully, to give in to every dark desire...and yet whenever he finished, he was invariably wracked with the most intense guilt.

To feel remorse is to be weak, Snoke had told him, time and time again. But no matter how much Snoke punished him, he was never able to get rid of the remorse. It plagued him like a curse, tormenting him night and day. And so he did what all Dark Siders did - he used it. He turned the hatred he felt towards himself outwards and directed it towards other people. He let his guilt fuel his hatred and let the Dark Side grow stronger.

Only now, in the silence of the lifeless landscape, Ren couldn't find it in himself to hate Rey. He told himself repeatedly that he should hate her. She had rejected him again because of her stubborn refusal to let go of her delusions about the Jedi and the Force. She had left him alone. She had betrayed him. She had turned against him. He should hate her.

But he couldn't. Every time he thought of Rey, he just felt hollow. Like someone had carved open his chest and taken out his heart.

And in the emptiness left by the absence of rage, he couldn't hide from the knowledge that she was right. She deserved better than him and he knew it.

Rey didn't know when she had developed the habit of running away when she felt overwhelmed. But she wasn't about to question it either. She just knew she needed to get away and hide somewhere where she would be able to sort out her feelings before she burst. As she climbed the mountain, she forced herself to focus on the physicality of it - the ground under her feet; the trees above her. But when she finally collapsed onto a log at the top of the mountain, she felt what was left of her resolve crumble.

Tears slipped out of her eyes before she could stop them and she cried freely, knowing there was no one around to see her.

She cried because she could feel his pain through the Force and it was excruciating. She cried because she had just rejected her best chance at not feeling lonely anymore. She cried because she wanted to go back and tell him she didn't mean it but she knew that that was a lie. She had meant it. Every word she'd said. They couldn't be together. Not like...that. Not so long as he remained committed to the Dark Side.

What future could they have together? He would never leave the First Order and she would never leave the Resistance. Their story would inevitably end in bloodshed and heartbreak.

It wasn't fair. Rey glared up at the sky, wanting to scream at the Force itself. Why had it bound her to him? Surely, the Force knew their story would not have a happy ending. Why was she being condemned to such a fate?

Rey closed her eyes, feeling the disturbance in the Force caused by Ben's emotional reaction to her rejection. She shivered as she felt his white hot fury and then choked back a sob as she felt who it was directed towards. It wasn't directed towards her, as she'd imagined it would be. It was directed towards...himself. It was his own self-loathing that filled the Force like a fire.

Rey opened her eyes, unable to take it any longer. She resisted the urge to scream. A part of her longed to run down the mountain, comfort Ben, and tell him everything was going to be okay. But the rest of herself kept her rooted to the log she sat on and grounded in the reality that she could not promise everything was going to be okay. How could she promise him that when she didn't even believe it herself? When she refused to allow herself to be with him the way she wanted to be with him?

"Be with me." Rey whispered into the void. She couldn't handle this on her own. She needed the wisdom of the Jedi of the past. "Be with me."

When no answer came, Rey felt her heart twist with the pain she had come to associate with feeling abandoned. The momentary lapse of hope that anyone was really out there. That anyone cared enough to help her.

But it was gone, pushed away, an instant later. Rey did not need help. She had never needed help. She knew how to take care of herself and she could get through anything. That firm, unshakable faith in her ability to surmount any obstacle had saved her countless times in the past and it would do so again as long as she held onto it.

She would go back to him and they would work things out. They would find a way forward. And maybe there was nothing she wanted more than to run down the mountain and kiss him...but she wouldn't. She would remain disciplined. She would be strong, as she always had been. And if that meant she had to be alone, then so be it. She knew how to be alone. She had lived that way her entire life.

Now, they would be alone together.

By the time Rey finally came back to the ship, it was nearly evening. She stopped in the doorway, her heart pounding in her chest. She had rehearsed this moment countless times before she had found the courage to carry it out. But now that she was standing in front of him, she found her mind going blank.

"You came back." Ben said, without looking up.

"Of course I came back." Rey said, numbly.

Ben finally looked up at her and Rey felt her heart melt at the look in his eyes. "I broke my end of the deal." He said. "I created a crack. Intentionally."

"I know." Rey breathed. Of course she had felt it. She had felt everything he had felt in real time.

"I'm sorry." Ben said, and Rey shook her head, her resolve crumbling. She ran towards him and threw her arms around him before he knew what was happening and let out a sigh of relief. She could feel Ben's confusion through the Force but Rey couldn't bring herself to talk yet. She just wanted to hug him until he felt better. She couldn't stand to feel him so miserable anymore.

After a moment, however, Ben pulled back, frowning in confusion. "Rey, what are you doing?"

Rey looked at him, feeling unbearably torn. She wished things could just go back to the way they had been before he'd kissed her. And she had thought, up on the mountain, far away from him, that this could happen. But she knew now, standing in front of him, that she would never be able to forget the feeling of that kiss. How could she ever think of anything else whenever she saw his lips? It would be so easy to just give in to her desires. It felt so right-

"You were right." Ben said and Rey stopped short.

"What?"

"You were right. You can't trust me." Ben said, and Rey felt her blood run cold. "You should keep your distance because I might hurt you."

Rey stared at him, absolutely floored.

"I shouldn't have kissed you." Ben said, when she didn't say anything.

"I wanted you to kiss me." Rey admitted. She was tired of denying it. She had wanted it for a long time but never let herself acknowledge it.

To Rey's surprise and confusion, Ben shook his head, stepping away from her. "I destroy everything I touch. Just look outside!" He cried, gesturing towards the window. "I'm not going to let myself hurt you too."

"It's okay about the crack." Rey said, shaking her head. "I'm not mad-"

"It's not about the crack!" Ben cried, looking frantic. "It's about what it represents. I mean don't you see what Mortis is showing us? It's showing us the effects of our actions! You create life and I destroy it. I destroy living beings, Rey."

Rey stared at him in shock. This was not the Ben she knew. The one who pretended he didn't care when he hurt people and justified his actions by clinging to fantasies about destiny and power.

"You don't have to." Rey said. "You could choose to create life instead."

"Don't you get it? It's not a choice!" Ben screamed and Rey felt a shiver run down her spine. He stood in front of her, his face pale and tortured. He looked trapped and Rey realized that was exactly how he felt.

"It is a choice though. You have control over your own actions." Rey said, and Ben practically groaned.

"No, Rey." He ground out. "I don't. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I can't control myself. I can't."

Rey frowned, unwilling to believe this.

"And if I can't control myself, I can't stop myself from hurting you." Ben said, his voice wavering. "That's why I should never have kissed you. That's why you were right to run away from me."

Rey felt her heart break and she wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms once more. But she knew he wouldn't accept that. Not in this state.

"You can learn how to control yourself." Rey said. "I can help you."

Ben shook his head. "You think I haven't tried to learn?" He laughed bitterly. "You think Luke Skywalker didn't try for years to teach me self-control only to have it backfire on him?"

"So that's it? You're just going to give up trying?" Rey asked.

Ben opened his mouth to respond and then shut it again.

Rey took a step towards him, wanting to reach out and touch him. "You underestimate yourself." She said.

"I'm only going to disappoint you." Ben said.

Rey shook her head. "You're so concerned with meeting everyone's expectations." She said. "I just want you to be okay, Ben. That's all I care about."

Ben stared at her, his eyes brighter than usual.

"You have too much faith in people." Ben said, shaking his head. "You trust so blindly. Your parents, Luke, the Resistance, me..."

"No, you have too little faith in people." Rey shot back. "Including yourself."

Ben swallowed thickly and Rey reached for his hands, unable to stop herself any longer. They were warm and shaking and she squeezed them tightly.

Ben looked down at their hands, looking torn. Rey stared at him, suddenly struck by how much he had changed since they'd landed on Mortis. The man who had chased her across the galaxy would have done anything to get her to stay with him. He would have locked her up, kidnapped her, and lied to her so that he didn't have to be alone. But the man in front of her now...he cared about her. He was willing to let her go to protect her from himself even though it hurt him to do it. And it was for that reason alone that suddenly, Rey found she didn't want to leave him.

"You care about me." Rey practically whispered, a cautious hope blossoming in her chest.

"I always cared about you." Ben replied, but Rey shook her head.

"Not like this." Rey said, and something in Ben's eyes told her he understood what she meant.

Rey pulled him into a hug and Ben reluctantly put his arms around her. She could feel his unease through the Force, rooted in the deep seated conviction he did not deserve her compassion or affection. After a moment, he pulled back, his dark eyes meeting hers. This time, Rey was the one to keep a hold on him, not wanting him to leave.

"Rey, I'm sorry." He said, his voice breaking. "I'm sorry for trying to take you back to the First Order against your will. I realize now that wouldn't have made you safer, it would have been a prison. And I'm sorry for trying to cut you off from everyone else - my family, your friends, the Resistance. I just wanted you so badly and I thought- I thought the only way I could make you stay was if you had nowhere else to go. I told myself I was helping you, offering you something of value but I was really just being selfish-"

"Ben-" Rey tried, but Ben shook his head.

"No, let me finish. I was so caught up in my need to have you with me that I refused to even consider the possibility that maybe I wasn't what you needed. All I could think about was how much I wanted you and I didn't even stop to consider what you wanted. Because the truth was, I knew what you wanted, and I knew it wasn't me."

"That's where you're wrong, though." Rey said, her hands shaking even as she gripped his hands. "I did want you. I still do want you."

Ben stared at her, his lip quivering ever so slightly, and Rey squeezed his hands. "But I'm scared." She admitted. "I'm scared because we're at war and you...you're-"

Rey struggled to find the right words to describe just what the problem was.

"Evil?" Ben supplied, and Rey shook her head.

"No."

"Destructive." Ben said, and Rey couldn't argue with this one. But it was more than that...

"Broken?" Rey asked quietly, not sure how he would respond to this suggestion.

Ben looked like he'd been slapped but didn't deny it. They stared at each other and Rey found it hard to breathe.

"So now what?" Rey asked. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." Ben said quietly.

"We'll figure it out." Rey said, determination crystalizing in her eyes. "I promise you we will."