Disclaimer: points to LOTR people I don't own them, sadly.

points to everyone else grinning They're mine.

Now I have to say, that before I was the down-to-earth computer programmer I am today, I was a rather eccentric LOTR fanatic. I knew everything possible about them and had even decided to give my children elvish names. I had even carried my obsession as far as to learn the language of the elves. Then I grew up. Or rather my best friend died. I was never the same, and neither was Jeremy, my scientist friend, who had been madly in love with Meredith. So who would expect to get a call on my cell from Jeremy in a breathless tone, probably running his hand through his hair as we spoke. Not me.

"Kat, it's me, Jere."

"I noticed." I said cynically. I was annoyed with this damn Harry Potter game that had been forced upon me.

"Kat, you won't believe it, but I discovered Middle Earth!" I fell out of my seat, then grabbed my desk, and stared at a dot on the wall. What was he going on about?

"Kat?"

"Jere, I can't believe myself, but, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING!" I shouted, momentarily forgetting everyone in my office, his office, and of course his poor ears.

"Nothing, Kat, honest, I'm telling the truth."

"Jeremy, Middle Earth is the creation of some dead dude. It's fantasy, does not exist, is never and will never be possible." I was totally freaking out. Some freaks have drugged my friend and convinced him that they are the Fellowship. It was his childhood dream, and Meredith's death had made him sensitive to that sort of stuff.

"Kat, remember when you said you'd die happy if you could kiss Legolas?" I blushed.

"That is not the point Jeremy." I hissed into the phone, just noticing the looks from my coworkers I was getting. I flicked my hand, shooing them away silently. Gosh, had they never seen a woman in a midlife crisis?

"fine, since I'm not going to convince you on the phone, come over and meet them yourself."

"Well, maybe I will."

"Good."

"Fine."

"It's settled."

"Alright."

"I'm at my office." I hung up. Doy, how stupid did he think I could get. I had caller ID. I already knew where he was. So I raced out of the building.

"Katherine, where are you going!" (A/N: You didn't really think her name was Kat did you?)my boss shouted from his cubicle.

"Out to convince my friend that he's on drugs and hallucinating!" I shouted back. I missed my boss shaking his head at me. I raced to the garage, hopping to my truck, and pulled out. Rushing as fast as I could, which was pretty fast with no traffic, I was soon out towards the country, where Jere's office was located.

When I finally got to the door, I was momentarily halted my security. Until that was I demanded to speak to the head, and he recognized me and sent me up. Of course now I had to file for a permanent visitor pass, but hey what the hell, it got me where I was going. Which was Jeremy's office. I raced through the glass doors, and dropped my mouth. There Jeremy was, proudly running his fingers in his hair, with nine Fellowships look a likes. I closed my mouth, straightened my hair, clothes and looked at Jeremy.

"Well, I'm here." Jeremy hid a chuckle behind his hand.

"Yes, you are. Kat this is the Fellowship, due to your expansive knowledge of LOTR I'm sure you can figure it out." I smirked.

"What can I say, I'm all knowing."

"Sure Kat, whatever you want."

"Good, I want coffee, a karaoke machine, and a computer that's glow in the dark." I said.

"I was being sarcastic."

"I love you too." I said. I now decided to get to business and look at the fakers. Well, they looked authentic. I yanked at "Gimli's" beard. He yelped, stepped back, and glared at me. I stuck my tongue out and moved on, who said I was mature. The hobbits were short and for all I could tell had real hair on their feet. I stared at "Gandalf" for a moment, and then decided to move elsewhere. That's when I noticed "Legolas". He was defiantly a heartbreaker.

"Well, there's the first thing." I said grinning triumphantly. Jeremy looked at me, an eyebrow raised. I pointed at "Legolas".

"No body knows his real hair color. The movies randomly picked one. For such a great writer Tolkien had trouble describing people." I said. Jeremy glared.

"That doesn't count; it counts for him and against." Jeremy said. I pouted.

"My lady, do you have any reason to believe we aren't telling you the truth?" "Legolas" asked. I glared him into silence.

"Well he doesn't have…" I trailed off when I swept aside his hair and saw, you guessed it, pointed ears.

"As you were saying?"

"Plastic surgery or fakes." I muttered. Jeremy sighed.

"Come on, Kat, you want to believe they're real." He pleaded. I turned to face him.

"No I want my friend to stop taking whatever he's high off of." Jeremy laughed, really laughed. I swear my mouth must have dropped again. He hadn't laughed like that since Well, since Meredith died. I glared and removed my coat. I was suddenly aware of the fact that I was wearing a tank top with my short business skirt. I resisted the urge to blush. I was twenty two, I was too old to be blushing over what I was perfectly able to wear in public.

"Alright, let me continue my inspection." I then stomped back over to the fake Legolas, and yanked at his ears.

"OW!" he shouted. I stepped back and smiled.

"Birth defect?" I explained through my teeth. Jeremy smiled.

"You are lying through your teeth, get over it, they are real."

"Not likely." I hissed irritably. I had heard somewhere that elves had very sensitive ears. I decided to test this theory. I blew at the top of his pointy ears. I soon found my arm being twisted behind me. I stomped on his foot, finally digging my stilettos into his toe. He yelped and let me go. The rest stared at me in fear.

"Alright, enough of that, Gandalf, or whatever your name is, what is the password into Moria?" I asked. "Gandalf" drew himself to his full height.

"Kat, any fan knows that. It was even in the movie. Are you done yet?" I pouted.

"Alright, alright, just one last question. When did Aragon fall off of a cliff?" It wasn't a hard question, if you've read the book. Of course most fans these days didn't bother. Why should they? The movies were close enough.

"You feel off of a cliff?" Gandalf looked at him curiously. Aragorn shook his head looking purely confused. I looked at my feet prepared to admit my defeat when my head suddenly popped up.

"Hey, you're supposed to be dead!" I accused pointing at Boromir. Everyone looked at him, until he got tackled by Fellowship members who just realized he was back again.

"Okay, I yield, they're real. Now what?" I asked Jeremy. He looked at them.

"They probably need some clothes, but that's your department."

"GENTS," I shouted in my halt-everyone-now voice, "We are now going shopping to normalize you all." I said. Jeremy looked at me.

"I normalize even a word?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Beats me." The LOTR gang, I have decided to call them that, where now staring at me like I was crazy. So I smirked and linked hands with Legolas and Jeremy, the cleanest of them all, and dragged them out to my baby, also known as my big baby blue truck.