Disclaimer: points to LOTR people I don't own them, sadly.
points to everyone else grinning they're mine. I'm also too lazy to come up with a new disclaimer.
After Jeremy informed me that it was a formal affair and yes I did have to dress up, I decided to take Jaycie and the hobbits to a children's store. Jeremy had, well been forced to take Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, and Legolas to get outfits with him. I figured I would be able to handle them all.
I walked into the store and quickly hailed a worker.
"How may I help you?" the girl asked politely. I smiled.
"I need formal wear for these five." I said gesturing to the hobbits and Jaycie. The girl looked horrified.
"Are those all yours?" she asked. I laughed and shook my head. Okay, now what do I say the hobbits are…ummm.
"These four are my…nephews." I said, grabbing at a random relative title. The girl nodded and proceeded to lead the way. I quickly got the hobbits measured and had them trying no stuff in the dressing room.
"Alright Pip, sit here with your stuff and hold Jaycie. Frodo, watch them alright. Merry, I'm going to get you a size smaller and Sam a size bigger." I said before walking to another side of the store. Next thing I knew I was on the ground.
"Ouch." I said, rubbing my elbow. I looked around to see a wet floor sign. I glared at the sign as if I suddenly developed laser vision and could turn it into a crisp. Remembering the movie1, I looked around for the laughing janitor. There wasn't one. I got up to hear a sniff. I stood up to see Ms. Gaurdwell, an ancient hag who seemed to think she was British royalty.
"And this is what today's youth has come to, slipping over their lack in reading." I tried not to snort at this. Like she could talk, she probably couldn't read at all through the pink dress, boa, and enormous hat she wore. I stood up and looked for an escape.
"And who are these, surely they can't all be yours." She sniffed again. I looked to see that the hobbits had come to my rescue. I grabbed Jaycie from Pippin.
"No, these four are my nephews." I said, the lie coming easier this time. Ms. Gaurdwell snorted her answer.
"Relatives should never trust one such as yourself with children. They are so impressionable." She sniffed and waddled off.
"She's…" Frodo started. I held up my hand.
"Say bitch, just say bitch." I said. Frodo nodded. I smiled. Impressionable, yeah right, they'd been through the worst of it already.
When I met up with Jeremy, Pippin proudly told Aragorn that he was allowed to say bitch. Aragorn covered his mouth until Jeremy laughed.
"It's the 21st centaury, everybody says it." I hit Jeremy on the head.
"What was that for?" he whined.
"Dunno, I felt like it." I said, as if that explained everything. In my mind it did.
"You guys all set?" I asked Jeremy. He nodded without even thinking.
"You need anything?" I ran through an inventory of my stuff at home.
"Nope, I can dress nicely with the stuff I have at home." Jeremy nodded and we exited the mall to go back to my house.
A/N: 1 is the movie the Terminal. I updated, I'm so special. And MJ is back and reviewing! I'm so very happy! Thank you to Dark Lady Arantraneth for reviewing even if it's just for a friend. I like your name by the way.