Title: Half Knight (3/?)

Author: Cyclone

Feedback: Please be gentle.

Distribution: Gimme credit and a link.

Rating: I'm gonna go say PG-13.

Spoilers: For Ranma, anything goes, pun intended. For Buffy, starts at Halloween and continues on after.

Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to the almighty Joss. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

Summary: Xander wears an anime-inspired costume on that fateful Halloween.

Author's Note: Let's see if I can continue this one, hmm? Oh, by the way, it may get confusing, as I will use female pronouns when talking about female Xander.

"Ahhh..."

Xander settled into the couch, holding the ice pack to his crotch. He was fervently grateful his folks were in Vegas again. Who knew how they'd react to this?

Ding dong!

Xander scowled. He had just gotten comfortable!

With a sigh, he rose and answered the door. An eyebrow shot up when he saw Buffy, Willow, and Angel outside.

"Uh, hi, guys. What's up?"

Willow answered, "Well, I sorta mentioned that you were probably this good because of the spell on Halloween, and..." she trailed off apologetically.

"And we thought it'd be a good idea if we knew what you could do," Buffy finished.

Xander nodded, "So you want to see my tapes."

"Yeah."

He shrugged, "Fine." He shot a look at Angel, "But I'm not inviting him into my house."

"We could watch them at my place?" Willow suggested.

"Works for me," Buffy replied.
"I still say Ukyou should get Ranma," Willow said as the closing credits ran. "Shampoo's society will grind him down, Akane'll kill him with either her cooking or her temper, and I don't think anyone would argue for Kodachi."

The fact that Ukyou was Ranma's childhood friend from when they were around five had absolutely nothing to do with it. No, not one bit.

"Ehh, I think he should go for Akane," Buffy replied. "They have chemistry, and you can tell they love each other."

After all, love could conquer everything, right? Even, say, a thing like Slayer and vampire. But that was just an example. It had nothing to do with her support for Akane. Did it?

"I dunno," Angel mused. "I think Akane'd be better off with Ryouga, P-chan thing aside."

It was obvious Ryouga loved her. He was kind and gentle to her. The fact that he was a homicidal maniac and kind of creepy and stalker-ish by pretending to be her pet was beside the point, after all. Right?

Xander snorted, only half paying attention to the conversation, "Ryouga's a chicken. That's what it boils down to. He's a pervert and a coward. He's even more chicken than you, Deadboy."

Buffy frowned and smacked his arm, "Xander, stop that! Angel's not a coward."

Angel and Xander shot each other a Look.

Buffy's eyes narrowed, "Okay, spill."

With a satisfied grin, Xander leaned back, "Well, Deadboy, should I tell her, or do you wanna dig your own grave?"

"I already have a grave," the vampire stalled. "It's back in Ireland."

"Well, then, you might wanna crawl back there then."

"What are you two talking about?!" Buffy demanded.

Willow cringed and shot a look at Xander.

"So, um, who do you favor for Ranma?" she asked.

"Yeah, who?" Angel interjected, glad for a change of topic.

Xander leaned back and thought about it for a moment.

"None of 'em," he said finally.

Had they been living in the Ranmaverse, the house would have shaken from the collective facefault. As they were living in the Buffyverse, no such facefaults occurred. Merely a great deal of staring and blinking.

"Well..." Xander corrected, "maybe Kasumi, 'cause she's the only one that ever seems to give a damn about what I want. Err, sorry, I mean what Ranma wants."

"Oh," Willow frowned at that.

Angel shifted into what Xander thought of as "Brood Mode," a thoughtful expression on his face.

Buffy bit her lip. That was a good point.

Xander merely hit rewind on the VCR remote.

"Achoo!"
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!?"

Somewhere nearby -- close enough that, had Xander known, he would have been making plans to go somewhere safe... like Mogadishu -- a fanged young man looked around in confusion before howling to the heavens in his native tongue.

"RANMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"
Author's Postscript:

This time, he's REALLY lost.

Omake:

Sort of a different omake this time. May I present the Half Knight opening sequence, to Bonnie Tyler's Holding Out For a Hero!

"Where have all the good men gone...?"

(Riley turning away)

"...and where are all the gods?"

(Xander punching in Glory's face)

"Where's the streetwise Hercules..."

(Angel looking cool...)

"...to fight the rising odds?"

(...and getting his face planted into the ground as Xander steps on his head running by)

"Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?"

(The Knights of Byzantium charging across the desert)

"Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need."

(Uber-cute scene of Willow snuggling against a pillow)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night.
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast,
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight."

(Xander fighting a swarm of vampires)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light.
He's gotta be sure, and he's gotta be soon,
And he's gotta be larger than life.
Larger than life."

(Xander back to back with his/Ranma's female form)

"Somewhere after midnight,
In my wildest fantasies,
Somewhere just beyond my reach,
There's someone reaching back for me."

(Angel looking cool as he looks at the moon...)

"Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat,
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet."

(...and getting stepped on in the face as Xander runs by)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night.
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast,
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight."

(Xander surrounded by vampires and hitting one with an Amaguriken)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light.
He's gotta be sure, and he's gotta be soon,
And he's gotta be larger than life."

(Xander making a "Come get some" gesture to a pack of vampires)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night."

(Xander back to back with his/Ranma's female form)

"Up where the mountains meet the heavens above,
Out where the lightning strikes the sea,
I can swear that there is someone somewhere watching me."

(Ryouga looking lost as he wanders through a graveyard)

"Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood,
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood."

(Buffy training and stopping suddenly, looking up)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night.
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast,
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight."

(Xander staking several vampires in rapid succession)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light.
He's gotta be sure, and he's gotta be soon,
And he's gotta be larger than life."

(Xander preparing a ki blast)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night.
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast,
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight."

(Xander twisting a vampire's head off)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light.
He's gotta be sure, and he's gotta be soon,
And he's gotta be larger than life."

(The exterior of Sunnydale as a twister erupts from a building)

"I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night."

(Xander back to back with his/Ranma's female form)