Disclaimer: I do not own Silent Hill 4 or anything Silent Hill or anything Konami
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May 2
Dear Diary,
I just found I'm pregnant, but I haven't told Kurtis. He won't let me keep it I'm sure, he'd be to scared that the "Order" would come an take it. The whole town is in a panic over this so-called 'Order', they say there a cult. They take peoples babies and raise them to be cultests. Its bull shit if you ask me. I want to keep my baby and Ill do whatever takes to do so.
May 3
Dear Diary,
I told Kurtis today. He pretended to be happy, but I can tell he's nervous. I made an appointment to see Dr. Kaufman for my first sonogram, its in two days. Kurtis insisted on taking off work to take me. I told my parents, they think me and Kurtis are to young.
"your only 19 sweety, your not ready for motherhood" mom told me. I kinda blew them off. I really want this baby. Dad really laid into Kurtis about stepping up to the plate and taking responsiblity.
"You better put a ring on my little girls finger and let me tell you son, flipping burgers at Duggies BBQ isn't a job for raising kids." he told him, Kurtis just rolled his eyes and replied with a "yes sir, of course sir." We didn't stay long at my parents house, they live in Brahms which is about 50miles from Silent Hill, where we live. Kurtis says we won't be going back to see them either, but I think he was just pissed off.
May 5
Dear Diary,
Went to my appointment today. Dr. Kaufman says everything looks good so far. I think my mother might have spoken to him or somthing,he kept asking me questions on what I plan to do with my baby.
"I plan on keeping it Doctor." I told him
"Lets be realistic Helen, your not exactly ready for motherhood and Kurtis,well.."
"well what?" he was pissing me off, "Kurtis and I are keeping this baby end of disscussion." I stormed out after that and I promised myself not to go back. I didn't tell Kurtis what happened or that I didn't plan on going back, he'd just get pissed and the last thing I need today was to fight with my hubby. Why is everyone against me having this baby. Dr. Kaufman even gave me a info packet on some orphange called 'Wish House'. Anyway I already love this baby and I'm only 1 month and 21 days pregant. I'm keeping this baby no matter what.
May 15th,
Dear Diary,
Kurtis got a new job today, he's a cashier at Harold's Hardware. He really seems to like it. He came home tonight with flowers and a bottle of apple cider. We cuddled and talk about the baby, he told me he loved me and would stay with me forever. I guess what my dad told him really got to him. Anyway I found this free clinic that Ill be going to for my appointments, Kurtis doesn't know.
May 26th,
Dear Diary,
HE PROPOSED!! He gave a beautiful diamond and asked me to marry him. I'm so excited!! we decided to wait till after the baby is born to have the wedding. I've started planning already!! I think Kurtis has forgotten about that whole 'The Order' business, he just seems so happy and excited about our baby and the wedding. I am so happy too!! I love Kurtis!! Mrs. Helen BankCroft, Mrs Kurtis Bankcroft!! I love it!!
June 4th,
Dear Diary,
I was having bad cramps and had to go to the hospital today. Dr Kaufman treated me and now Kurtis knows I haven't been seeing him, that I've been going to this free clinc. He's mad. Dr.Kaufman said the baby is fine, but to rest in bed for a few days and come and see him again in two weeks. I don't want to, but Kurtis is making me.
June 11th,
Dear Diary,
I'm doing much better now. My parents came to visit, my father seemed impressed with Kurtis. They stayed for dinner and then left. Not much is really going on. Im starting to show a little, I can't wait to start buying maternity clothes.
June 23rd,
Dear Diary,
I keep getting sick and having cramps. Kurtis is really worried about me, I'm worried too. I have been staying in bed and I haven't had much strength. I get tired alot. Dr. Kaufman says its nothing to worry about, just usual pregancy stuff, but I'm worried. This just doesn't feel right. I'm tired Im going to stop writing now.
July 10th,
Dear Diary,
I had a sonagram today. Dr. Kaufman says the baby is a little underweight, but otherwise very healthy. I'm doing better too, Im not tired and the cramps are gone. Dr.Kaufman is starting me a special diet to help the baby. I'm actually glad I started seeing him again. Kurtis got a raise, 20 cents not much , but still better then nothing. Kurtis's parent sent us some money, they live in Wisconsin. They might come down when the baby's born. I'm so excited!!
July 27th,
Dear Diary,
The cramps came back and I'm getting tired alot again too. Dr. Kaufman is getting worried now. He did a bunch of tests, but nothing really seriously wrong. I have been put to strict bed rest and I won't be writing in here for a while. Kurtis says he wants me to do nothing but watch TV. I told him wrting in a diary doesn't hurt, but says once I'm done writing this he's taking it away. Well untill Im better anyway.
September 12th,
Dear Diary,
Well I'll be six months pregnant in 3 days, Im getting big too. I found out Im having a boy. Kurtis has lightened up since I got better and he let me have my diary back. He's really excited about having a son. The baby moves all the time and Dr.Kaufman says he's a very heathly baby. Kurtis took off work tomorrow so we could go shopping for the baby. He says there's this big mall in South Ashfield and we can take the subway out there and shop. Im so excited.
September 15th,
Dear Diary,
We didn't get to shopping today. We got a visit from some strange people, Kurtis says there from 'The Order'. I told him he was just being paranoid, but they scared me too. There was this woman she called herself Dahlia Gilespie. She was weird, with this mixed match outfit, she had a tie on and a white doily on head. She had two men in black robes with her. She claimed she was from a highly practiced religion and she wanted us to join and baptise our baby in it. I immediatly said no.
"Don't you wish to be with those who are welcomed in God's paradise?" she asked.
"No." Kurtis told her, "Not the paradise your talking about."
"I doubt you'd be welcomed anyway Kurtis, but one way or another your son will be."
I asked her how she knew I was having a boy, she just laughed. She told us the birth of the God would not be stopped and those that defiy the God, die. She said our son had been chosen to preform a task for the God when he grew into manhood. She told Kurtis and me that she would take our baby with or without our blessing.
September 4th,
Dear Diary,
We got our first sonogram pictures today, our baby is beautiful. It made me and Kurtis feel better seeing them. We keep getting weird phone calls in the middle of the night and now Dr.Kaufman is acting strangly, he keeps asking who gets our baby if we should die. We told him my parents would get custody, not that we thought hard or much about that. He susgested we keep 'Wish House' in mind. I told Kurtis about Dr.Kaufman wanting us to give up our baby when I first got pregant and I showed him the packet for 'Wish House' I was given. Now Kurtis thinks Dr. Kaufman is with 'The Order' and won't let me go back to see him.
October 4th ,
Dear Diary,
I'm getting scared. We keep still getting these weird phone calls with just this voice saying give us the baby and then they hang up. I told Kurtis its that woman, Dahlia. Kurtis wants us to move, but I love Silent Hill. He says if we have the baby here it will be taken ,that "the order" runs this town and everything in it. Why is this happening?
October 10th,
Dear Diary,
I think this stress over my baby is making me sick. Kurtis still wants us to move, he has started looking for apartments in South Ashfield. They still keep calling and now they started sending threaten letters. Kurtis said he was chased to his car the other night by some weird dog thing, and he thinks 'The Order' sent it to kill him. Kurtis says 'The Order' has control over some demon world, I think Kurtis is losing his mind. I think I might be losing my mind too, but I won't tell Kurtis that. I keep hearing voices and I have been having these strange nightmares. Maybe leaving Silent hill will be for the best.
October 28th,
Dear Diary,
Kurtis found an apartment in South Ashfield Heights. Its on the third floor, room 302. We went and saw it today, its cute. Kurtis has become really paranoid, he keeps looking over his should, he shakes and he won't let me leave the house. Im not sure what I'm more scared of ,Kurtis or 'The Order'. I've started packing. Kurtis wants us out by the end of the week. He asked one of his buddies from Brahms to help move us out. Kurtis wants us to move out in the middle of the night so 'The Order' won't try to stop us.
October 31st,
Dear Diary,
The last of our stuff is packed and ready to go. I wanted to tell my parents we were moving, but Kurtis won't let me. He says they might be in league with "the order". I told him he was being ridiculous and he hit me. Kurtis has never hurt me ever, but today he slapped me and grabbed my by my shoulders and shook me, yelling at me.
"No one in Silent Hill is to ever know where we are, including your parents or the Order will find us and kill us!" he yelled squeezing me so tight I wanted to cry.
"stop your hurting me." I told him
"Do you understand that?" he shook me, "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!!" I finally told him yes so he'd let go. I don't know whats wrong with him. I'm scared.
November 2nd,
Dear Diary,
We finshed moving in today. Kurtis bought a gun, I think he is crazy. I'm getting so big now and I can feel the baby move all the time. I wish I could be happy about having this baby, but with Kurtis acting so strange I just can't. He keeps the windows closed and locked and he even bought pad locks for the front door. He still won't let me out and now he won't even let me use the phone. I feel so all alone out here. I have no friends and even if I did Kurtis wouldn't let me talk to them. My parents must be worried sick, I might try to sneak out to the main lobby and call them on the payphone. I gotta let someone know where I am.
November 6th,
Dear Diary,
Frank,the super intendent, came by today to ask how we were settling it. Kurtis told him we were fine and then made some excuse to get him to leave. Kurtis told me he doesn't like Frank.
"He is to nosey, always watching and poking his nose into everything." Kurtis says
"He is just doing his job Hunny." I told him
"Helen your not to talk to him unless Im here, don't even answer the door." I didn't argue I was too afraid he might hit me again.
November 12th,
Dear Diary,
They found us. We got one of those weird phone calls last night, Kurtis answered it. He said there was a woman on the other end telling him to give her Walter. Who's Walter? Are they calling my baby Walter? Kurtis wants to move again, I told him Im to far along to go anywhere. I told him we needed to establish a good doctor here for the delivery. He said we won't be going to any hospital. I'm scared. Is he going to make give birth all alone, here, in this apartment.
November 26th,
Dear Diary,
I can only write in you when Kurtis is gone. He thinks I'm writing secret messages to 'The Order' in here. He's crazy. I'm so scared, I want to try and run away, but where would I go. I'm due soon. I'm trapped here.
November 30th,
Dear Diary,
We still keep getting those weird phone calls and those nightmares have returned. There's voices in my head calling for Walter, always Walter. Kurtis thinks we should just dump the baby after its born and run. He keeps saying over and over I never should have got pregnant, it was a mistake. The voices, they want him---the voices...
December 2nd,
Dear Diary,
I keep getting sharp pains in my stomach, it won't be long now. I know Im going to have this baby alone, here. My Walter, My presious Walter the voices are calling for you, but they can't have you , no they can't. Kurtis wants to kill you my presious Walter, but I won't let him. I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't....
December 5th,
Dear Diary,
He's comming soon. My Walter. My presious Walter Sullivan...
December 13th,
Dear Diary,
My Walter is here. He is so beautiful. Blue eyes and soft blonde fuzz on his little head. My beautiful Walter I must go to sleep now. Wake me in paradise my Walter. Wake me my Walter from the sleep of death that your father has dealt me. I love you Walter, my presious Walter. Wake me Wake me Wake me Wake me Wake me Wake me Wake me...
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I wrote this Diary out of boredom one day and one of my readers from my other story (The Journey of Cody) suggested I post it , so I hope you like it. There may still be mistakes but keep in mind this is a Diary. Its not my best work, but please R&R I'd love to hear your comments and stuff.
Karry