Dumbledore and Madame Trelawney have a kid named Wulfric. Wulfric is a werewolf. Lupin and Cho have a werewolf kid named Chopin. Chopin and Wulfric meet at their Werewolves Anonymous class while they are transformed into werewolves. They almost kill each other, but then they realize that they share the same lustful spirit. Once they recognize this, they fulfill their desirous dreams and unite themselves as one and forever put a seal on their youthful innocence.
They go home to tell their parents that their love has conquered them and they cannot be separated. Dumbledore is now 927 years old and almost dead. He is on his death bed when Wulfric and Chopin tell him that they are going to get married. Dumbledore uses his dying breath to say "Wulfric, you have betrayed me! Sybll, requite my honor and smite that deranged evil creature who is standing by my bedside whom I have disowned from my sacred establishment." Then Madae Trelawney kneels beside Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore and shrieks out her homicidal rage upon Wulfric and Chopin. Wulfric and Choping were so surprised by Sybll's anger that they fled from the house to Hopsing's Restaurant.
So Herman and Vellatrix magically apparate to Hopsing's Chinese Take-out Drive-in Restaurant on accident. They were trying to go to Chopin's parents' house. When Vellatrix sees Wulfric, she forgets her vehement love for Herman and falls madly in love with the sexy monstrosity sitting at the table to their left. As Vellatrix's eyes sparkle with delight, Herman looked on with envy at Wulfric. Cho Chang walks in drunk and glances at Herman. She thinks that Herman is Cedric. She screams "Cedric, you came back for me. I love you!!!!!!!!" Herman is thouroughly perplexed as to who she is talking about, until he realizes that this is his chance to avenge his father's lost love with Cho and he seizes her in a fervent embrace and smothers her with passionate kisses. Vellatrix sees this and does the to Wulfric. Meanwhile, Lupin is sitting at the table, drunk, and Chopin is weeping silently on her father's lap. Lupin says "Herman, I will avenge your death." (He's drunk. He's not supposed to make sense.) Chopin says "Wulfric how could you. Our love is only a blossoming flower. You killed it before it had a chance to grow full and strong. " So Wulfric says "Oh, put a cork in it Chopin. You should've known that I was only trying to anger my father. I never really liked you at all. Deal with it."
Chopin is so furious at Wulfric, that she throws the Cruciatus Curse at him. It hits Wulfric. His screams shake the bones of Chopin, but she continues on with her murderous rage, and continues to inflict pain. Finally, Vellatrix composes herself enough to grab the nearest chopstick and drives it into Chopin's beautiful, but fanatical head. Chopin lies on the floor, gasping for air while her insides are pushing their way through her throat and into her mouth. She dies 20 minutes later after her appendix ruptures in her throat, causing serious damage to the brain. Vellatrix grabs a butcher knife and cuts Chopin in half. She is then so angry with herself, she chops up everyone else, but Herman and Wulfric. She chains Wulfric to the wall with a curse and tortures him. She then cuts off all of his toes and his fingers. She listens to the shrieks of pain coming from Wulfric and decides to take out his windpipe. Vellatrix now transforms into a werewolf and devours everybody except Herman, who she does not kill or torture. She leaves only the bones of her victims. While Herman lays awake, thinking about his plan to escape from this demented and sickly twisted creature, he picks up the leg bone of the former Professor Lupin. He is not seen by Vellatrix because she is finishing the brains of Wulfric. Herman strikes Vellatrix across the head. She is bleeding profusely from the ear and she is coughing up blood. She uses her dying breath to say to Herman "Once again you have escaped death just like your precious daddy. You disgust me."
Vellatrix then falls to the ground and dies. While Herman is weeping over the loss of so many people, Dumbledore appears in his pearly white ghostly form and says "Herman, in the midst of all this death, your spirit remains, proud and strong. You have shown your bravery today, in a way that would've rivaled your father. He would be proud of you. I am too. Herman, I love you." While Herman is wiping the blood and tears off of his face, he realizes that he should have been more appreciative of the fact that his father would always be proud of him, and he never had to feel like he had to avenge his father. Amen.