FBI FANFIC: ZIBELL 1:

"FALLING INTO FEAR"

Author's Note:

Hey, everyone.

I am back to writing more fanfiction. I have missed it greatly.

I have had many ideas within my brain for a while; choosing which one to start with is also a tough decision to make.

This will be my first fanfiction of hopefully many to come for the FBI franchise. I LOVE the show; total Maggie and OA shipper. I know within the show as of late they have been just a platonic duo, but I want it all with them; the friendship, partnership, romantic relationship.

There are strong vibes everywhere for these two. It is undeniable. They are a great team. They support one another through the struggles of the job but off the job as well, so hopefully you will enjoy these fics.

Disclaimer:

There are some scenes taken from 4x18, 'Fear Nothing'.

I DO NOT own FBI or its characters.

I am borrowing them for my own entertainment, especially this week since we did not have a new episode and there is also no new episode this week.

The lyrics used for this chapter are "Halfway Gone" by Lifehouse.

Please read and review. Happy Reading! :)

All my love,

Hope

"'Cause you're halfway in but don't take too long 'Cause I'm halfway gone"

''He is halfway in,"

I repeat over and over in my mind as I try to calm my racing heart, and slow my breathing as much as I can.

OA had gotten to me in time; all that is left in the glass.

The glass- the only thing separating us- myself and this sarin gas, myself and my partner, outside of this building.

It is the final separation between the reality that I could still hear but no longer control around me.

"Sarin gas targets your neuromuscular junctions, where your nerves meet your muscles. After about a few minutes, you are left paralyzed from your head to your toes.

You sit there helpless trying to breathe, but you can't. You feel all of it."

I was feeling it, especially now as I began to panic more for the fact of OA not being able to break the glass. He was shouting at me, wait, what did he say?

"Maggie, it's not gonna go."

"OA, please, you've gotta get me out of here."

"Maggie, I need you to slow your breathing…

slow your breathing."

I felt it gripping me, gasping for air, begging my partner with the last breaths within me to save me; find a way, get me out of here, and finally, an apology.

"I am sorry. I should have waited."

I heard myself gasp out as I felt my lungs constrict more; reaching my hand towards OA wishing he could grasp it and intertwine our fingers even if it is one last time. I could hear him continuing to shout my name, but I couldn't fight the darkness any longer.

"Letting go ain't easy.

I'm hanging on but growing cold."

I bolted upright covered in sweat, and breathing heavily. Breathing.

I was breathing still, as much as a struggle it has been these past few months. I am alive, I owe it all to my incredible partner. If it was not for him, I would not have made it out.

These past few months have been long and difficult to say the least.

I have never been known as an individual who gave up easily.

I am still having nightmares, being confined in a small space such as the elevator once I return to work is going to be an adjustment.

I have not taken anything other than the stairs in months, it was not all for physical limitations either.

I may not be someone who quits but I am someone who fears, who has feared, and I am struggling with letting go; the fear, the guilt. The thought of that alone can put me onto the edge faster than another exposure to sarin gas ever could.

I am grateful to be alive but the cold chill within my mind. It is a rather dark place still, and it follows me into my dreams. I am seeking professional help to this day and it is just that, helpful, but nothing will prepare me for the terror I feel within my bones of stepping foot into the JOC in a couple of weeks. The looks of pity, sympathy, relief, anger for putting myself, my partner at death's door. My boss' for disregarding a direct order.

I am hoping that I am as welcomed as I was in the JOC after my UC.

I have been away for a while, how much has changed, myself, them, their lives, the cases.

I know for a fact that despite some anger, pity, sadness, guilt there is within the room from whomever it may come from, we are family. That will always remain.

The end of chapter one for my first FBI fanfic, looking forward to writing more fanfics within this as well as future works.

Please let me know your thoughts.

Thank you for taking the time to read and write a review.

Hope =}