Act Three: Behind Hidden Eyes

Kenshin looked across the yard to the golden-haired girl who stood side-by-side with Yahiko, watching his hands carefully as he swung his shinai. The second they slipped, she stopped him, correcting his grip by sliding it up or down a bit, and getting him to relax in his wrist so he could turn them more easily.

"I thought the ugly was my teacher," Yahiko said as Sachi stopped him yet again and fluttered her fingertips from his hand to father up the hilt.

"Up here, and tighter, so it doesn't slip, but loose enough to move your wrist," she said levelly. "And yes, Kaoru-dono is your teacher, but even when you're just out swinging a shinai, you should want people to give you tips so you become better."

She looked up from where she knelt to his eyes. "And I know enough about grips to teach. They were my biggest problem. Still are," she added with a frown.

"Really?"

"Ask Kenshin sometime. Now, swing." The boy grumbled about bossy women, but did what she said.

Standing to the side, Sachi watched him with sharp eyes as she followed his motions with her gaze, watching for mistakes. Her face was so serious that Kenshin felt himself frown in thought. The angle her face was at and the tilt of her head was a view that he knew well, and he was used to seeing a glowing smile in place and her green eyes crinkled in happiness as she laughed at something. But this new face was still as a stone and her laughter was hidden behind sad eyes that watched everyone and everything without comment.

He sighed, running his red bangs back from his eyes. He had gotten so fond of the Sachi that a glow followed wherever she went, but looking at her now, only glimmers of that innocence would shine through during rare moments. No one would ever guess that she had been the mischievous girl whose banter had been sought from almost every man to walk past her.

Somewhere, she had had her innocence stolen from her, and she now walked past all the faces and unfamiliar places without so much as a glance of curiosity. It was as if her soul had aged a lifetime and left her behind.

Feeling his gaze on her, she turned up to the porch, catching his frown before he could erase it from his face. She gave him a concerned face, and then mimed a smile, indicating he should do the same. He did, and she genuinely smiled back at him, the glimmer around her returning for a minute.

'If there is one thing in my power to do, I will find some way to return her smile, I swear to that,' he promised to himself, turning back into the dojo to go find Kaoru and help with breakfast.

I tiptoed up behind Kenshin where he stood in front of Kaoru, talking earnestly with her, his back to me. Smiling mischievously, I took a few light running steps that prepared me for a leap up onto his back. As I fell through the air, I saw his back muscles tighten, and he ducked down quickly, as if aware someone was coming at him.

Flying over his crouched shoulders, I saw Kaoru's open-mouthed face in front of me instead of a solid back. "Wahh…AHHH!"

I blinked, and a rapidly moving fist was coming into focus between my eyes. Whack.

Thump.

"Ohhh…" I rubbed at my face, sprawled out on my back on the ground.

"Sachi-san! Are you alright?" I looked up at Kenshin.

"It's not like I was going to attack you! I wanted to HUG YOU!"

Kaoru stopped down the hallway from me and turned back, her eyes dark and her voice raised spiteful. "Why? Why are you 'Beautiful One' to him, and I am just Kaoru-dono?"

I turned to stare at her, my eyebrows furrowed and frowning a bit at her sudden outburst. We looked each other full in the face for a moment, and then she lowered her gaze. "Right. Stupid question."

Standing my ground, I regarded her carefully. Someone with a wounded heart is like a wounded animal, most dangerous when cornered. I picked my words carefully, saying them slowly but sincerely. I never wanted to upset her, but unintentionally, I seemed to be doing so just by being there.

"I admire you, you know, Kaoru. We both fell in love with the same man. Only, you fell for the side that he seems to be now. I still have yet to learn to love that side of him. Maybe you'll understand someday that what you see now is based on the past between two people." I sighed and raked a hand through my hair, either in impatience or worry, I don't know which.

"I'm still not sure where we stand now. I know where we were, but I don't know what I'm allowed to do and what I'm not allowed to do now. That's the hard thing with Kenshin. He never lets you know what he'll tolerate and what he won't by saying it out-loud."

I leaned against the wall suddenly, digging my fingers through my hair and into my scalp. What was I doing, voicing my most-inner thoughts and concerns with this girl? Had I completely lost it, with all the pent-up worry and fear that I didn't belong here with Kenshin anymore? Was my time with him over? Our time over? For someone who only wanted to forget his past, having a deeply-seated member of it show up again certainly wasn't burying it for him.

Looking up again, I saw Kaoru was staring at me like some interesting thing under a microscope. I gritted my teeth and silently berated myself for spilling all the words and thoughts out. "Never mind," I told her, and pushed myself off the wall, walking away quickly.

"Wait!" Kaoru called after me, and I stopped, turning to her in exasperation.

"What now?"

"If you were a prostitute…does that mean that Kenshin…?" She trailed off, and I laughed at the direction her question was heading.

"No. Kenshin hasn't changed that much. He didn't use slaves. I was 'sold' to him as a gift from some of his other hitokiri friends. And though neither of us were really expecting it, our relationship was based mainly on a psychical level after awhile," I mused to Kaoru, and then chuckled and flapped my hands 'no' as her eyes bugged out and her mouth dropped into an 'O'. "It's not like he was a carnivorous beast," I said hastily as I almost could see her thoughts floating above her head of an amorous Kenshin ravishing me. "I provided a release from his thoughts, and he gave me someone to trust."

Kaoru's eyes suddenly shifted past me, and widened. "Eep," she cheeped. I blinked in a second of concentration and then smiled, reading the chi as a hand descended on my shoulder.

"Hello."

"Hello," I said, turning into Kenshin's arm and lifting my head to meet his kiss in greeting. Kaoru blushed profusely and looked down, clenching and unclenching her hands. Taking note of the other girl's actions, I quickly separated myself from Kenshin, who looked at me in question. I gently inclined my head to the jealous onlooker, and he nodded almost imperceptibly.

Going ahead of me, Kenshin trotted down the hall, and as I passed Kaoru, I laid a hand on her shoulder. "No offense meant, Kaoru. Don't take it personally." She nodded.

I stood in Kenshin's doorway, leaning lightly on the frame as I rapped on it gently to alert him to my presence. Even for one such as he, sometimes those that you are closest to never register in your mind because you are so used to them being by you.

He looked up quickly, and smiled with familiarity when he saw me. "What is it, bijin?" he asked, standing from beside the folded futon and bedding and padding over to me.

Waving him away from crossing to me, I walked over and knelt back down at the futon. Looking up at him, I pointed down at the assembled things. "May I help you?" I asked, and he followed my lead, coming back over to the bedding and kneeling again.

"Oro?"

"May I help you with the bed?"

"Surely. This one never turns away a helping hand." He smiled at me, eyes bright blue. I busied myself with the unrolling of the bedding, and then we both dragged the futon out and unfolded it in the center of the tatami floor.

Avoiding his eyes, I started hesitantly to talk as we worked. "Kenshin?"

"Yes, Sachi-chan?"

"…I've been thinking."

"This one noticed how quiet you've been lately, even for you. I've caught you staring out as if searching the deepest corners of your heart and mind."

"I guess I have been, in a way."

I stopped talking for a few minutes after the futon was set to be slept on, and shook out the covers over it, standing above the head of it and laying out the comforter, smoothing the edges down slowly as I phrased what I wanted to say.

He may have noticed, but Kenshin was ready to wait patiently until I was ready to say what I had to. He walked over and shut the door, if only subconsciously signifying that whatever happened from now on was private, for behind closed doors. I leaned back against the wall, as seemed to be my tried-and-true habit for trying to blend into uncomfortable situations.

I watched as he undid his obi, and shrugged out of his gi , folding it and laying it down on top of the simple dresser in the corner. Smiling slightly at him, I felt myself soften as I watched the neatness of the Hitokiri. For such a man, the rigid rule of his self seemed to me, endearing as a trait, if not a bit daunting when you felt common and undisciplined in his presence.

He finally sat on the edge of his futon and patted the mattress before him, asking me to come sit with him. I obeyed, and settled down on the edge across from him cross-legged, my hands folded in my lap. He let me sit in silence for a moment before he prodded.

"This one senses you have something you want to talk to him about."

I nodded, and continued to look down, not wanting to meet the bright indigo gaze that would separate my words from my tongue.

"…And that you are having a hard time deciding what to say?"

This earned him another nod. "Sachi-san, you must know that nothing you say will anger this one, or make him feel less for you."

"I just wonder if you're really happy with me being here again, in your life. We were so long apart that it makes me wonder if we out-grew each other. The man that I knew has changed into someone else a bit more innocent, and the girl you knew has turned into someone more wary."

"I haven't changed that much, Sachi. The man you knew is still living in me, so you haven't lost all," Kenshin said, reaching to tuck a strand of stray hair out my eyes. "But I would wish that you might have that spark of spirit in your eyes again. What happened to you, bijin, to make one such as you so hard and sad?" His voice dropped lower, more worried and cautious.

"One day I would like to tell you, Kenshin, but that is a tale for another time when I am ready to tell you."

"Then I shall have to wait until then. For now, would you care to share my bed? If I remember correctly, you get very cold on your own on cold winter nights, no?" he said, a slight smile creeping in his voice and the corners of his eyes.

I smiled back, grateful for the invitation. His saying it made me dispel some of the earlier troubling thoughts I had had on his thoughts of me here. "There is the girl and her quick smile I used to know," Kenshin said, as I undid my yukata, and he lifted up the covers so I could join him under in the warmth. Tilting up his head, he blew out the lantern light above the futon. The room plunged into darkness, and I snuggled up to his side as he passed an arm around my waist to hold me in my sleep.

I blinked my eyes open, and the blurry room came into focus slowly. I looked over at the other side of the futon and blinked in surprise. Kenshin wasn't there. I placed my hand on where he had been, and found to my surprise that the spot was still warm from his body. I moved my hand from the bed to beneath my pillow, and pushed myself up.

Working purely out of habit, I rolled off the futon, and then stood up, reaching for my yukata. Tying my obi with a loose hand, I walked to the door and slid it open, treading softly out of the house and toward the bathhouse. As I walked, my sleep-addled mind was already giving me orders. Get firewood. Make a fire, wait for the bath to heat. Take bath. Work from there. Life is simple for me in the mornings.

I opened the bathhouse door, expecting a cold bath lying in wait for the next eager bather. What I got, however, was a warm and inviting bath awaiting me. A fire was smoldering gently beneath it, and the water was unleashing small amounts of steam rising off the top.

Frowning, I turned around in the doorway, still holding onto the edge of the opened door, wondering who else was up this early. Looking over my shoulder, my eyes found Kenshin standing by the woodpile, sakabatõ over his shoulder, smiling at me.

I smiled back, placing my palms on my thighs and bowing to him in thanks. "Domo, Himura," I whispered to myself as he turned away and went back into the house. Taking this as him leaving to let me bathe, I walked through the bathhouse door and the waiting warm bath, prepared out of kindness by someone very thoughtful for me.

Once I was in the tub, however, the realization that he remembered that I was the one who couldn't function without a bath first thing in the mornings after almost six years. My elbow that rested on the side of the tub slipped, and my chin that sat in the hand that was no longer there slipped and banged into the rim.

"Oh!"

I stood in the middle of a marketplace street, watching the faces of people as they rushed by me, jostling each other and running into me, muttering apologies as they pushed on. Their blank faces reflected in my eyes, and the swirling colors and smells of the food vendors hanging in the air. I felt so small and insignificant, just a green-eyed orphan from the country playing dress-up with the kendô suit and katana of another, stronger person draping on and against me.

Brushing my fingers against the familiar hilt and tracing the waxed ribbon that wound around it, it reassured me as I pressed on, once again joining the crowd, blending and bleeding into the scenery. Was I really just another player in this busy city, a puppet of daily activity, losing myself to the grind?

In the market, no one noticed me against the crowd, as if I were invisible. And at the Kamiya dojo, I wasn't allowed to live the home-life I wanted with Kenshin as long as I resided in Kaoru's house out of her good grace. I didn't want to make ripples in the water. I just wanted to be someone again.

"Hey, you!" Angry voices. I turned around, seeing where they were coming from. An angry-looking police officer was running toward me, finger pointed menacingly at me. "Yes, you with the sword! You're violating the sword-banning act! Get back here!"

I turned on my heels and ran, threading my way through the crowd. So much for wanting to be noticed. This wasn't exactly what I had had in mind.

From then on, the katana stayed in the dojo, and a bokotu replaced it. It wasn't the same, but it was better then getting noticed the wrong way and ending up at the wrong end of a sword-officer's own blade.

I ran down the hall of the dojo and to the training hall, where I knew everyone would be, holding up the pant-legs of my hakama. One of my pant-legs slipped from my grasp and I tripped on the end, sliding past the door as cloth and waxed floorboards met. Quickly grabbing onto the doorframe as I slid by and hauling myself forward again, I regained my balance, lifting the pant-leg back up and throwing the door open, back-tracking around the corner into the hall.

Panting, I hung from the doorframe. "Kenshin. You're wanted in the town. A man came by and said something about a man with a katana. He's violating the sword-banning act, and it's not a sakabatõ."

Kenshin's eyes narrowed dangerously and he stood up. "The police?" he asked, and I shook my head, gasping for more breath.

"He won't let them even get close to him. He draws the katana and threatens to use it."

"How long ago did you hear this?"

"The town's man came by just a minute ago. I ran straight back when I met him on the road."

"Then this one must go to town and find out what is going on."

I nodded, too out-of-breath to say anything. The others watched as Kenshin walked out of the room, and I stepped to the side to let him past. He reached out a hand and laid it on my forearm. "You did right, coming to this one, Sachi-san. I carry a sword to help those who need it, and if asked to come, I won't refuse to help. Don't worry that you did the wrong thing. What you did was the right thing."

"I just…I heard, and he asked…I couldn't say 'no' to him and just let you sit here. I figured you could do something to help them."

"This one will be back soon, after this issue is settled. Tell the others not to worry."

"I will."

"And don't you worry yourself."

"Who? Me? Never," I lied heroically, smiling at him. Kenshin shook his head at me.

"This one knows how you worry. But you like to hide it, because you think you shouldn't show concern. But this one will take it for you. It's a sweet gesture."

"Sweet?!" I hissed, and Kenshin backed away, holding his hands out to calm me down.

"Whoa…steady…I meant that in the best way possible! It's nice to have someone worry but try to hide it so they don't make you upset!"

"It's not like I doubt your skill, but it'd be irrational not to worry a little!"

Kenshin beat a hasty retreat from me, who entered the hall with the rest, breathing proverbial fire.

"Wow. It's not just only Kaoru who gets pissed," Sano commented, taking in my clenched fists.

I turned and glared at him. "I'm not this way a lot of the time, you know. In fact, this is outside of anything I usually am."

"The introvert becomes the extrovert," Sano said to Kaoru. "So what were you guys whispering about that got you so riled up, huh? First fight as a couple? He stole the covers last night?"

Kaoru put a hand up her mouth and her eyes widened as she watched my response, and Yahiko frowned. "Uh-oh. Now you did it, Sano."

I turned to face Sano, and he grinned at me. Smiling sweetly, I raised a fist and feinted left, and then punched right.

"OOMMFF!"

"That's what you get for teasing me! Idiot!"

"Ow! Witch!"

"Birdhead!"

"Geisha drop-out!"

"Numbskull!"

"Vixen!"

"Hey, that's word-stealing from Kaoru! No fair!"

Yahiko turned and looked at Kaoru. "And I thought you were scary when you were mad, ugly. I like her a whole lot more when she's being all quiet and thoughtful. It's like seeing a female Kenshin turn Battôsai on us."

My ears caught the last comment and turned rapidly from Sano to Yahiko. "What did you just say?" I demanded, stepping closer to him.

"Ahhh! Bijin, bijin, ok? Bijin! Why does it work when Kenshin says it, but not now? Bijin! Stop hurting me! Bijin!"

I walked up alongside Sano where he stood next to the well, peering down into it. "See anything interesting?" I asked him, leaning in to look for myself.

"No. Only water."

"Oh."

"Sachi, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Sano, what is it?" I asked, turning and hopping up onto the edge of the well, sitting on the ledge.

"What makes you so sure he wants you?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, and Sano repeated it.

"What makes you so sure that Kenshin still wants you?"

"His eyes. They say it for him," I said, my own eyes clouding over as I thought of the softness that could be found at moments in the Battôsai's assassin eyes.

"Why do you stay with Kenshin? I mean, I understand you guys had thing a few years ago, but now…why go through the trouble?"

"I don't understand…" I said, trailing off and wrinkling my forehead in question.

"Why do you put up with this? The questions; the rivalry. It's no secret that you and Kaoru aren't exactly friendly, and that you're worrying about where your place here with Kenshin is. Can I tell you something? Kenshin's only one guy. So why do you do it?"

"Because I know what I'm fighting for, " I said after a moment, looking out over the yard to the cherry trees and the wooden fence.

"You knew Battôsai, not Kenshin."

"Fair enough. But who are you to be judge, if you only know Sachi, and not who I really am? Who are you to say what I'm capable of?"

Sano stepped up before me where I sat on the well's wall, so that we were almost nose-to-nose. "Who are you really, then?"

"I'm summer rain beaded on a newly opened cherry blossom. I'm the silk ribbon that winds around the bases of the blades of katana, and doesn't get sliced. I'm both light and dark, innocent girl and jaded woman. I am Shinrin too, not just Sachi."

"You're long-winded too," Sano commented, and I clunked him over the head with my fist.

"Careful, Sano. I'm not Kaoru, but that doesn't mean I won't inflict a little pain."