The Scooby Gang found themselves plummeting through the wormhole, all different colors rushing around them, though everything was strangely silent. As soon as the gang had finished their group screaming session, everyone looked at Giles.
"What's going on?!" everyone but Giles yelled. Giles looked annoyed.
"How the bloody hell should I know?!?!!???"Giles shouted back. His expression changed immediately from anger to confusion. "Where did that come from? Oh no, the wormhole is beginning to affect me already!"
"Well, where do we go from here?" Buffy asked. Suddenly, everyone but Oz, Angel, and Faith burst into son.
Cue background music to "Where Do We Go From Here" from Once More With Feeling
GROUP SING-A-LONG
BUFFY
Where do we go from here?
WILLOW
Where do we go from here?
BUFFY AND WILLOW
We're going to hell and we all can tell-
SPIKE interrupting
-That Angel is a queer!
ANGEL speaking
HEY!
BUFFY, WILLOW, AND SPIKE
Where do we go from here?
GILES
Nothing 'round here is clear
XANDER
And I am full of fear
DAWN pouting
We just might die and I just might cry
But no one seems to hear
LOOK AT ME!
GILES, XANDER, AND DAWN
Where do we go from here?
GILES, XANDER, DAWN, BUFFY, WILLOW, AND SPIKE
Will we get out of here?
ANGEL pops up holding a piece of toast
Butter this. looks confused Stupid wormhole…
SPIKE
I think I need a beer…
A Miller jug and a frosty mug-
Having had enough, Angel shouted, "ALL RIGHT! That's enough already!"
"What in the hell was that?!" Faith exclaimed.
"Yeah, do tell," Oz interjected. He, Faith, and Angel were looking very confused and frightened, mostly because they weren't in that episode. (A/N: Let us conveniently forget that Once More With Feeling did not occur until 3 season after the time frame of this parody, shall we?)
"Oh dear God…" Xander moaned. "It's happening again!"
"No," Giles said, "I think this is just a temporary effect of the wormhole. The same thing that's been making Angel and I act out of character and random." Giles then neglected to take of his glasses and clean them. Everyone gasped.
"You're right," Buffy agreed. "You really are out of character."
Suddenly, everyone found themselves being spat out in different directions.
Buffy opened her eyes to discover she was on stage at a concert in a very vibrant and hooker-esque ensemble which included platform shoes, a corset, and a miniskirt. Suddenly, a booming voice came over the loudspeaker.
"AND NOW, PRESENTING… THE SPICE GIRLS!"
"Aw, shit…" Buffy muttered under her breath.
Angel looked around. Same old Buffy's house. He sighed, relieved. He was beginning to think that maybe this whole alternate universe thing wouldn't be so bad after all. That was, until he spotted Spike sitting on the sofa, looking very peculiar indeed. He was wearing a brown suit complete with a tie and suspenders. He was reading an old leather-bound book.
"Uh… Spike?"
Spike looked at Angel.
"Did you say something about a spike, Angel?"
Angel looked confused. Just then, Drusilla walked in. This struck Angel as odd because she hadn't turned to dust from the sunlight.
"Ah," Spike said, snapping his book shut, "there's my favorite Slayer!"
Xander examined his new surroundings. He was in a dark alley somewhere in the heart of the city. And he was hiding behind a dumpster. This didn't seem promising.
Suddenly, Faith came around the dumpster.
"Sorry about that. Vampires never leave me alone. Now… where were we?"
She grabbed him by the front of the shirt and drew him into a long, passionate kiss. When they pulled apart, Xander simply gaped at her.
I don't think I want to leave this universe… he thought.
Willow wondered why she was suddenly dancing around a major Sunnydale intersection. She stopped herself and looked around. The city appeared to be on its way to complete ruin. A man cartwheeled past her before bursting into flame.
"Not good! NOT good!"
Giles looked around him. Everything looked like the way he had left it. The library was still neatly kept and all his things were still there. Though, upon closer inspection, he discovered that all his magical books were gone. He was just about to panic when Buffy entered the library with Willow.
"Ohmigod, I can NOT believe that Angel broke up with me! I thought he loved me!"
"Buffy, have you seen any-" Giles began to ask, but stopped when Buffy arched an eyebrow at him.
"Um… Creepy British Librarian Dude? Do I know you?"
Spike tried to keep his feet while determining where exactly he had been dumped. It seemed like he was in a small cabin of some sort, and judging by the movement of the floor, he was on a ship. Gathering his wits, he stepped outside of his cabin, whereupon he was greeted by the warm sunlight. He was about to duck back into his cabin when he discovered that, quite pleasantly, he didn't disintegrate under the sun. He strutted around the side of his cabin to the main deck of the ship. Upon looking up he noticed a Jolly Roger waving jauntily above the crow's nest and the holey black sails, and upon looking forward he noticed a grungy and slightly familiar pirate standing before him.
"What are you doing, Spike? We've got work to do. Norrington'll be on us any day!" the Pirate reminded him.
"Bloody hell!" Spike groaned.
Oz had a disturbed expression fixed on his face and he took in the people around him. He realized that each of them must be the other members of the Scooby Gang, but they did not resemble themselves at all.
(A/N: No more here! Don't want to ruin it!)
Dawn looked around but saw nothing. Complete and total darkness.
Faith looked down at her hand and nearly threw up. There, on her ring finger, was a plain gold band.
"I'm married?!" she looked across the room, where a small infant was crying in its bassinet. "And I have a kid?!?!!!??? Oh God, I'm in hell!"
A/N: I credit my genius friend Amanda for the "Butter this" line, which, of course, was there to take the place of Spike's "Bugger this" line in the real song. Forgive my cliffies!