Chapter Fourteen: Ten Years

Michelle was alone, Tony noticed as he picked up the phone.

"Hi," she said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas. Where's Zoe?"

"She… I didn't want her to come."

"Why not? Tony asked, confused. "Is she sick?"

"No! No," she assured him, "nothing like that. She's fine."

"Then why…?" asked Tony, a growing sense of unease beginning to manifest itself inside him.

"I have to talk to you, and I didn't want her to be here and get upset."

Tony felt his chest tighten. "Talk about what?"

"Tony…" Michelle looked away, swallowing. "I can't visit you anymore."

"Why? Are the guards giving you trouble about coming in with Zoe?" he asked, although he already knew that wasn't the case.

Michelle averted her eyes again. "I can't see you anymore because…" She looked up at him and he saw tears beginning to form. "Because I have to move on with my life, and I can't do that if I see you every month and get dragged right back down into all those memories."

"Is this because of a guy?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"Only inasmuch as it's about you, Tony."

"You haven't met somebody else?"

"No, and that's part of the reason why I have to do this. I can't be happy with anybody else if I keep coming back here and reminding myself of everything we had and lost. I… I'm gonna need those divorce papers."

"Dammit, Michelle!" Tony slammed his fist down in front of him, making her jump and the guards begin to eye him warily. It took all his self-control to prevent himself from doing something more violent. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. "Why now?" he complained in a low but still rather fierce voice. "It's been ten years. I've served half my damned sentence and I was just beginning to hope that you were telling the truth when you said that you didn't want anybody else, that there might actually be something for me to go back to when I finally get out… why couldn't you have just accepted the divorce when I offered it to you in the first place?!"

The tears were streaming down Michelle's face by now. "I'm sorry, Tony, I really am! I was so naïve to think that I could wait for you for twenty years, and I feel so guilty that I can't… but if I don't do this, I'm not going to survive the next ten years, and I have to, Tony, I have to for Zoe. It's hard enough on her as it is, without her mother going crazy. Tony, you have no idea what kind of hell I've been through since they took you away. I can't do it anymore."

"And you think life in here isn't hell? You can just walk away, Michelle, but I will be stuck in here until I am old and grey and have nothing left that matters."

"You'll have Zoe. I'll make sure you always have her, Tony, I'll bring her to see you next month… I just won't be coming in with her."

"Michelle…"

"I don't think I ever thanked you," Michelle cut him off. "For saving me. For giving Saunders what he wanted, for sacrificing everything for me. I know at the time I tried to tell you not to do it… but I really am grateful. It meant so much, it still does." She stared him in the eyes. "Thank you."

And she got up and left, leaving Tony with tears sliding silently down his face as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he might never see her again.

Author's Note: It's really a moot issue considering what Michelle's just said, but several people have raised the issue of conjugal visits, so I thought I would comment:

Yes, I know that such things exist (not quite sure where I know this from, though…). The thing is that according to my research (which may or may not be correct, since the internet was pretty much the only resource I could find for this particular subject matter), if somebody was convicted of treason (it is a grave crime, ya know) they would be put in a federal penitentiary (or a high-security prison if they're lucky) and the probability of them being allowed conjugal visits is pretty much nil.

Also, it makes Tony suffer even more, thus is convenient for my story. eg

That said, I have tried to hint to many people that a fic about a conjugal visit between Tony and Michelle would be deliciously angsty. I have a feeling that it would have to be quite graphic to be done properly, though, so you couldn't post it here…

Anyway. No conjugal visits in this fic, even if someone can prove to me that I'm wrong about Tony not being allowed them; it would mess up my plan for the whole fic (I'll just pretend that the law has been changed in the future because of terrorist threats or something… actually makes sense if you think about it). :D

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