Chapter Fifteen: Ten Years, One Month

"Hi Daddy."

"Hey, Zoe," Tony said warmly.

He had spent that last month in a state of inner turmoil. He kept kicking himself for not seeing Michelle's decision coming, especially when he really thought about what he knew of her life for the past few years. As far as he could tell, she had done almost nothing for herself in a long time, instead focusing on Zoe's well-being and on the obligations she felt towards Tony's family, Danny and towards Tony himself. When he compared the Michelle from the last visit -- even the visit before that -- to the Michelle he had been so happily married to for two years before this whole nightmare had started he felt horrified that he hadn't noticed the change, the lack of smiled and laughter and passion. He felt so guilty for being the cause of it, but still so hurt and angry that she had just decided to abandon him, and then guilty again for reacting that way to the decision he knew was the only one she could make…

And then a month had passed already and he was completely bewildered to find that Zoe was suddenly there to see him.

"How are you?" he asked his daughter.

"I'm good. Daddy, why doesn't Mommy want to visit you anymore?"

The question took Tony by surprise. "Didn't she explain it to you?"

Zoe shook her head. "She said I would understand when I was older."

He nodded. "She's probably right, sweetheart. It's… kinda difficult to explain."

"But… but it just seems so mean!" Zoe cried, obviously distressed at her mother's confusing behavior.

"Oh, Zoe… It would be mean of me to make her visit me. It just makes her sad, and I don't want her to be sad."

"Why does it make her sad? Why isn't she happy that she gets to see you? I always am."

"Because it just reminds her that we can't have all the things that other families have. Like the fact that I can't cook her dinner, or that I can't go to your dance recitals…"

"I don't do ballet anymore. I do ice skating."

"Yeah, see, if I wasn't in prison then I would know things like that," said Tony, trying to ignore the sting in his heart caused by his ignorance of these little details about his daughter's life.

Zoe looked up at him and sighed. "I wish they'd let you out."

Tony smiled. "Me too, sweetheart. Me too."