Kirk placed a hand on the back of Spock's chair, careful not to touch the Vulcan. "You're distracted," he observed, " are you sure you're okay?"
"I assure you, Captain," Spock replied, spinning abruptly in his chair to face Kirk, "I am fine. However, you are correct that I cannot focus. Lieutenant Montgomery is to be released today?"
"Yes, Spock, Bones is to tell us when."
"I must speak with her."
Kirk frowned. That girl had done something to his first officer. "What did you see in that mind meld?" he asked.
"Great pain," Spock mumbled before look up at Kirk. "Captain, are you familiar with the words 'And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries'?"
"No, Spock, why?"
"I believe it is a song, but I cannot seem to remember the rest of the words."
"You know them?" Kirk was getting lost.
"I did at one time," Spock admitted, "but they have, I believe the phrase is, 'slipped my mind.' This worries me, I usually have a good memory." He turned back to his station, leaning on his elbows and steepling his hands. "Lieutenant Montgomery has excellent control over her body and mind. When I melded with her, I encounter a mental shield similar to a brick wall."
"A brick wall?" Kirk was talking to his friend's back.
"Yes. A mental shield even a Vulcan would envy."
"Wow." Kirk swallowed his teasing in his wonder.
"I could not penetrate it, I had to be let in by making myself as vulnerable to her as she would be to me."
Kirk understood the risk Spock had taken to save this girl's life. He did not understand, however, where this conversation was going. "And…"
"And even then, beyond that, doors."
"Doors?"
"You are having difficulty grasping this," Spock remarked.
"Please continue," Kirk urged. He was intrigued.
"My mind was bombarded by pain. Pain and fear and anger and hate." Spock turned once more to face the Captain, his expression impassive. "Almost as in self defense."
"Is that when you broke the link?"
"No. I fought with her for some time. And all the while, that song. Those words."
"And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries."
"Yes. Finally, she withdrew in exhaustion, violently breaking the link."
"I see."
"Captain, I must talk with her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I was messed up," Lexxi began, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She sighed. "I suppose I should tell you, although I've already told you more than I want."
"Well in that case," Dr. McCoy replied, "you don't…"
"No," Lexxi interrupted. "You want to know, and after I'm gone, you won't have the chance.
After I'm gone…The doctor frowned as Lieutenant Montgomery continued.
"I don't remember where I was or why, but I was in this bar, and you were there. I'll never forget your face. I was high, full of heroin, and about to wash it down with tequila. You sat beside me and said with a laugh—you'd been drinking too, I could tell—you said, "That's not a good idea."
"Yes," McCoy said slowly, "yes, I remember. You glared at me and downed that bottle like I'd never seen and went into shock. It was strange, the first thing I notice was that your body temperature…"
"Dropped significantly, I know, I was unconscious and unable to control."
"Scared the hell out of me," McCoy chuckled, "I was a first year med student and green as a Vulcan." He paused, looking Lexxi over, still full of questions like, 'Why haven't you changed?' Instead he asked, "What made you wasn't to do a stupid thing like that?"
"You managed to stabilize me and get me to a hospital. By then, I'd regained consciousness. And control. You stayed with me all night."
"But you were gone by morning. They turned that hospital upside down looking for you."
Lexxi was silent.
"Why?" the doctor probed."
"Back then, my motto was, 'If you know my name, you know too much." Lexxi sighed. "You were very kind."
McCoy blushed. "Christine!" Nurse Chapel came bustling in. "Measure Lexxi here for a new uniform." Chapel smiled at Lexxi, who quickly stood up. McCoy held our a hand to steady her as she swayed and she pulled out of his grip, returning to her cool, collected, distanced demeanor. "I'll be in my office," he informed them before leaving.
Still smiling, Nurse Chapel took Lexxi's measurements. She winced at the sight of the beginnings of a horrible scar on Lexxi's back. "Dr. McCoy can take care of this when it's fully healed," she commented, barely brushing it with the tips of her fingers. Lexxi cringed, taking a step forward, away from Chapel's warm touch. "Sorry," Chapel apologized. Lexxi remained silent. "Sit tight," the nurse told the girl's back, "I'll be back." She left.