November 16th 2022

Chapter 320
Our Shock of Years

The first week back had felt as much like the longest and the shortest. On the one hand, every day had carried a weight to it, and on the other, it was hard to believe that they'd made it to this point already. All this time, it had been impossible not to walk around with 'the scandal' at the forefront of everything that had to do with school. But not today. Today, they were not going to think about that, not for a minute, not for a second. It was not even a conscious choice. But then this day came, and its significance was heavy in its own way, enough that nothing else could get in the way.

It was Sunday, January 11th, 2037, and five years ago that day, Lambert Day had passed away.

Five years ago, his younger brother Anton had found him in his bed, having died in the night. Five years ago, Barton and Michelle's world had been changed forever, theirs, and Dakota's, and Roman's, and Anton's… Five years ago, Taylor Munroe had lost his best friend, and they may not have been family, but where he was concerned, they might as well have been. Ella Friar had lost a friend who was still new, on the whole, but who in that short time had left enough of a mark that it was clear he could have become so important in her life, too. And Lea Sullivan-Reyes, they had discovered in time, much to their surprise, had lost what could have been the great love of her life. They had only been on a few dates at the time, hadn't even really told anyone, and when he'd died, she'd just… pushed it down, as much as she could, focused on everyone else instead. But the way she spoke of him, when she let herself admit what he had meant to her, what they'd had in that brief time…

To this day, those three, his greatest friends, felt his absence, felt the great void of what might have been. His family was left with that void, too, and what had come of all this was how they had been welcomed into the home and the hearts of the Day family. They all represented this presence that Lambert had had in the world, and they, like Barton and Michelle and their remaining three sons, they… They kept his memory alive, all of them together. Taylor, Ella, and Lea could always count on presents at their birthdays, cards at Christmas… Tori got as much, too, like she might have gained two grandparents and three uncles. And when the news had reached them about Ella and Taylor's engagement, oh… It had been the best news to start the new year… especially this one.

Five years ago, the next day, the call had come down for the teachers to gather, with the news of one of their students' passing. No matter how many years went by, Maya and Lucas would never forget that morning, the complete shock… Lambert… Maya would never forget how the news had settled over the students, too, the utter devastation of it. How could it be? Someone their age, someone they saw every day in the halls, in class… dead, with what seemed like no rhyme or reason. Now they knew there had been something, in his brain, but even so, it didn't make them feel any better, did it? It made it worse, actually, to think how they maybe could have prevented it from happening, if only they'd known, if only…

Somewhere in all that desolation, the shining spot, unexpected as it had been, was just the response from the student body. She thought of all those notes, all those cards, from the students who had been in Lambert's class, and from those who had been in Roman's, too, for his little brother, but also from those classes who had no contact with either of the Day boys except maybe for having interacted with them in one activity or another. Some of those kids had had zero connection and it hadn't mattered. A classmate was dead, and his family was grieving, and it was the very least they could do, to acknowledge the loss and the grief. Maya remembered bringing those to Barton and Michelle, remembered how they had been so touched by it. They still had them all, back at the house, and she knew that they would go back to look through them sometimes.

She thought of all that had happened in those five years, how they had carried Lambert's memory, so many of them, in their own ways. The very first place her mind went was Taylor… her future son-in-law… stepping up to take his best friend's place in the musical, to stand for him because he no longer could. He'd worked so hard to train his voice, to become a singer worthy of the position, to do everything he had to do, for Lambert. She thought of the drawing, up on the wall until not too long ago, staying there until the very last of the Day boys had graduated, and Michelle and the knitting club, and how the two parents had insisted on footing the bill for diaries before they'd started having the auctions… She thought of Marianne, two years old and barely understanding the concept of anyone dying, standing there with that plastic spoon, part of a kit of cooking toys that Lambert (and his family) had gifted her, the would-be chef…

"Do you remember?" Maya asked Marianne that morning. Her little empath had shown up, before any of her sisters had woken up, and crawled into bed, there to be caught up like a third spoon by her mother, and Maya held to her with so much gratitude. There was no need to wonder if Marianne understood what today was, she knew, and she understood enough to know that it was an important day, a big and emotional day for her parents, for her mother most of all. And when asked the question, she knew what it was about. Did she remember Lambert, remember when they'd lost him? Did she remember the lime green spoon?

"A little," Marianne reported, tipping her head around to see her mother's face. "Everyone was very sad."

"Yeah, those are kind of hard to forget, aren't they?" Maya asked. She softly trailed her finger along her daughter's hairline, and Marianne nodded. Her life may not have held so many moments like those in her seven years of living, but there had been some. Lambert, Granny Lizzie… Me, almost… She would not forget any of them, even if some would fade into the background, the older she got.

"I think I remember him, too," Marianne went on.

"You do?" Maya smiled. She nodded. "What do you remember?"

"He showed me how to hold a knife and not hurt myself, in the kitchen, didn't he?"

"He did…" Maya smiled on as the memory came back to her. She was barely two years old at the time, so it was a small knife, the kind that could cut things like fruits and vegetables but that would not in turn cut her. And on those times when they'd gone to have dinner at the Day house and Lambert had been cooking – which might have been each time while he'd been alive, come to think of it – he'd tried to show Marianne something. She was always eager to learn, of course, and Lambert had taken this in stride. He'd started her on those knife techniques, even if she barely comprehended certain things. "You still do it the way he showed you," she pointed out, leaning to press a kiss to her firstborn's cheek. "You should tell them that," she added. "Barton and Michelle? I think they'd love to remember that, too."

"Okay," Marianne agreed. After a moment, she spoke again. "Mommy, do you believe in ghosts?" she asked, and Maya hesitated, looking at her. "I know they're supposed to be dead people, like at Halloween, but a girl in class said that it was real, that her grandfather was a ghost, and he was still in her house because it was his house first. But our teacher said ghosts weren't real."

"Well…" Maya tried to look back over her shoulder, knowing already that Lucas had to be awake, too, which he was. He gave her a look she took to mean 'it's your call.' "It's about what you choose to say is real or isn't, I guess. If you want to believe that they're real, then maybe they are," she told Marianne, then, after a pause, "But you also might have to consider whether or not it's a good thing to bring it up or not. Some people might not believe, and… it could be painful to consider it anyway." She just imagined this line of thinking leading her daughter to suggest to the Days that the ghost of Lambert was out and about in their home. For her part, Marianne considered her mother's words and gave her verdict as:

"I'll think about it."

"Good, you do that," Maya leaned to kiss her again. "You can always talk about it with the two of us, yeah?" Marianne nodded. "Good, now go pounce on your dad. He's awake," she whispered, and in no time their big little girl was climbing over her, and Lucas 'cried out' as she laughed.

They were going to meet everyone at a place that had become very familiar to Maya and everyone who had frequented her classroom over recent years, if indirectly so. The old Day family cabin. It had been many years now since they'd sold it, but it seemed that Dakota had reached out to the new owners, explaining a few things with the hope that they might be able to accommodate them for this one occasion. He didn't ask if they would let them all into the cabin, but he asked if they might gather there, outside, in this place that had meant so much to his late brother and their family. The owners had been more than happy to accept. Not only that, but they had insisted to allow them to come inside. It was January, still chilly, and they wouldn't have felt right to let everyone shiver outside for something like this. The Days were immensely thankful.

When they arrived, Marianne didn't take long to go and find Barton and Michelle, so she might share her memory of Lambert and what he'd taught her. Maya and Lucas looked on, and they saw that smile, the parents being returned this memory just as it had been returned to them just that morning. This gathering was not nearly as somber as it could have been. Inspired by this first story, it became just what it needed to be, not a reminder of five years without Lambert but of those years that had come before. His family was there, his friends were there, even Taylor, who'd had to fly home after New Year's and then fly out again for this but did it gladly, and not just because it gave him another chance to see his fiancée in a short time. Many of Lambert's old classmates were there, some of his teachers… It was only really once they left the cabin in late afternoon, everyone heading out again, that many of them, Maya suspected many more than just herself, sank back into those feelings of loss. They always said that Lambert had not lived nearly as long as he should have but that, in the time he had been here, he had left such a mark as to become eternal to those who had loved him. And they felt that today.

"Mommy," Marianne approached her after they got home.

"Yeah, pumpkin?"

"I think I believe in ghosts," she told her, and Maya smiled. "It felt like Lambert was there today. Is that weird?"

"No, it's not weird at all. I think he was there, too." He was, he is… in all of us.

TO BE CONTINUED

See you tomorrow! - mooners