-

Catherine

For the first time since she was a rookie, Catherine refused to make eye contact with anyone as she strode into the lab. She kept her gaze plastered firmly ahead, clutching her handbag to her side like a security blanket.

She could feel the probing, sympathetic gazes as she passed the reception, but she refused to waver in her step.

Cavallo had reluctantly agreed to a single day of mourning for the graveyard shift, but one day was all they could afford. Day and swing shift did not have the manpower to cover five people's active accumulation of cases.

Catherine felt a brief surge of satisfaction as she glimpsed her reflection in the Trace Lab windows, to note that her eyes were completely dry and her make-up flawless. On the exterior at least, she was the same Catherine Willows she had been two days ago.

She hadn't spoken to the others since Warrick and Brass took her home that night. She slowly passed Grissom's office, unconsciously softening the fall of her heels on the floor. The door was closed, but a sliver of light was visible underneath. So he was in. She drew in a breath, and continued to the locker room. She couldn't deal with his emotional deficiencies right now. Odds were he was closing himself off like he always did, and she didn't have the energy to convince him how unhealthy that was.

Gil Grissom was ever constant in his ideals and behaviour and she didn't think Nick's death would change that. If anything, it would probably only enforce it. Grissom had only one way of dealing with heightened emotions- hiding them.

She ran a hand over her eyes wearily, exhausted before she had even started for the night, and turned into the locker room. And stopped in the doorway.

Greg Sanders sat on the middle bench, his toes skimming the floor like a child. His eyes were focused on some far-off point ahead of him, but she didn't think he was seeing anything.

She cleared her throat, letting him know of her presence. "Hey", she said quietly.

Greg glanced up vaguely as she circled around him, twisting the lock of her combination.

"Hey", he muttered distractedly.

She turned her back to him, prolonging the activity by carefully and lengthily removing the contents of her bag and placing them unnecessarily into her locker.

"Do you think he'll be buried here?" Greg asked after the silence threatened to suffocate the room. She could practically see his blue eyes piercing her back questioningly. "Or in Texas?"

Catherine's eyes squeezed shut painfully, and she slowly wheeled around to face him. God. She was inwardly shocked by his appearance. His clothes were rumpled and mismatched, and not intentionally like he usually might have done in a bid to gather attention. His hair was mussed up in unruly spikes, like he hadn't even brushed it since waking up, and dark rings circled his eyes. He looked haggard and tired, and she wanted to cry to see lively, outgoing Greg Sanders reduced to such a state.

"I don't know", she said softly, forcing her voice not to wobble.

Greg seemed oblivious to her discomfort, and went on haphazardly, babbling almost incoherently. "Because I'd want to be there, y'know? I mean it only seems fair it'd be here. This was Nick's home, not Texas. If it was there, I wouldn't be able to say anything. I think I should say something, I mean Nick would've appreciated it, wouldn't he? Why should he be buried there when everyone who knows him is here-?"

"Greg!" Catherine snapped, voice breaking.

His mouth snapped shut, and he gazed up at her pitifully. "Do you think he suffered?"

She lowered her head, sagging her body against the locker bank. "I don't know", she murmured honestly.

Greg blinked at her sadly. For once, he really looked as young as he acted.

"Sara was there, right?" he asked suddenly. "I mean she would know, wouldn't she? If I asked her, she could tell me, because I really just need to-"

"I don't think that would be a very good idea, Greg", Catherine said a little more coldly than she had intended.

Greg stopped, closing his eyes tightly. "God, I can't believe I just said that".

He rose to his feet, avoiding her gaze. "I think I'm just gonna get back to work..."

"Hey". She placed a hand gently on his upper arm. She felt a tremble run through him. Their eyes made contact, and he nodded slightly, ducking his head as he strode away. Catherine sighed and closed her locker, bracing herself for the break room.

-

Grissom handed out assignments with carefully practised speech, and for once, there were no complaints about who got the trick roll or standard 9/11 robbery. Catherine took the time to observe each member of the team, which had become increasingly like her extended family.

Warrick sat to her right, on the chair closest Grissom, and his eyes were focused stoically on their leader, as if looking for some sort of reaction rather than listening to his information.

Greg was on Grissom's other side, and had his gaze riveted to the ballpoint in his hand, which he jiggled tensely. His features were tight and emotions laid bare for all to see and it didn't take any level of perception to see he was a nervous wreck.

Sara was last, beside Greg, and she also kept her eyes studiously down, focusing intently on her assignment folder. Catherine noticed Grissom similarly kept his gaze from drifting in her direction, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. What was going on there?

They all knew Sara had seen it all, and was probably repressing the entire event. Add Grissom's constant shift in behaviour into the mix, and she was going to snap. It wasn't a question of if.

Grissom cleared his throat, obviously prepared to adjourn the meeting and flee to his office. "Any questions?"

Warrick lifted his head. He looked unusually calm. "Yeah", he said flatly. "I do. Do we have the guy yet?"

No one needed to ask what guy Warrick referred to. Grissom's expression remained carefully blank, but Catherine could see something flicker behind his eyes and she could tell he didn't like loosing his controlled grasp of the situation.

"Ecklie says his guys are looking into it", Grissom said slowly.

Warrick's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "So in other words they have squat."

Grissom sighed. Obviously he had not been expecting this sort of objection from his favourite CSI- the one he considered most like him. "Warrick-"

"No", Warrick interrupted coldly. "Damn it, Grissom, dayshift aren't even trying on this! I think I speak for everyone here when I say we want closure on this damn thing. We gave them the evidence, and eyewitness accounts. We nearly had the case before they came in and tramped on it!"

Grissom bowed his head. "I understand your frustration", he said carefully. "But there's not much more we can do. We have to trust Ecklie to-"

"Are you hearin' this?" Warrick snapped, glancing at the rest of them in disbelief. "I can't believe I am hearin' this! Trust Ecklie? There's a sentence that inspires comfort!"

"Warrick's right, Grissom", Catherine spoke up softly. "I think we'd all feel better with one of our team on the case."

Grissom glanced at her sharply, like she was turning on him too. "You know I can't do that. It's a conflict of interest-"

Catherine could feel her own insides boiling. "Screw conflict of interest!" she snapped loudly, screeching back her chair as she rose to eye level with him. "Have them consult, or not handle evidence. Whatever! We need to be in on this! You can push for this. They won't shut us out. This is one of our own, Grissom. It's Nick".

She let a vast amount of weight fall into the last word. Grissom met her gaze squarely. She could see the hidden pain behind his eyes and wished he would just realise it was okay to show it.

"Okay", he said softly. "Who wants to do it?"

Silence encompassed the room as they each gazed questioningly to each other. Greg remained quiet, knowing it stood between the four experienced CSIs. Warrick pursed his lips. Sara quietly climbed from her chair, snatching her assignment folder before striding straight from the room.

Grissom pressed his lips together, watching her go in the corner of his eye. He closed his briefly, and she wondered what the hell he had done there. Catherine sighed deeply. As soon as she suggested it, she had known whom it was going to fall to.

"I'll do it", she murmured.

Warrick's shoulders sagged, relived. Greg nodded, looking happy with the choice.

Grissom met her gaze. "Are you sure you're up to this?" he asked cautiously.

Catherine nodded slowly, staring back at him with unbridged intensity. "We need to know", she said firmly. "We need to".

-