AN: Thanks for all the reviews!! I know, this took SO FREAKING LONG!! I'm updating from somebody else's computer, so I don't know when the next update will be because my computer is being all stupid and won't work!! Bah Humbug! I would use stronger language but…well… Anyway, while I struggle with my internal demons, here's the chappy!!

"Now, see, this is a club!! I mean, who would show their face in that dank bar you tried to take me to!?"

Leo looked at Piper as she jumped out of the car. She had on a short black skirt and red, belly bearing red halter. She looked really good. Piper looked happy, and she was. She could here the music from their parking place and the littlest things made her ecstatic.

"…And so, was talking to Phoebe and she was all like 'Piper, shut up! You keep playing all those love songs'…" Piper babbled as they approached the club doors. Luckily for them, there wasn't a line, and as he opened the door for them, he kind of tuned out.

It was something about her…In all honesty, he thought that she might have been slightly delusional. But only slightly. As soon as she recognized the song, she smiled.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie, you brothers can't deny! When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing your face, you get…SPRUNG!!" Unwittingly, Piper had started a little shacking of the butt herself. Leo found himself watching the motion. Round and round and round and round…

"…And anyway, we all know that Garfield loves lasagna!" Piper shouted happily.

Leo raised his eyebrows for a moment, failing to catch up with the conversation. Oh well.

"You wanna dance?" Piper yelled over the music.

"I don't dance." Leo replied.

Piper smirked at him. Like she hadn't guessed that. "Come on!" she begged. "If you dance…" She couldn't think of anything. "Oh, come on!" she grabbed his hand and pushed their way to the dance floor.

"Don't you wanna get a table?" he asked, black and red lights flashing above them. Piper rolled her eyes and shook her head. He would do anything to keep from dancing.

"Come on!" she coaxed as she started to dance. "I'd bet you be really good if you'd give it a try." After a moment, she slid his hands around her waist and started rocking her hips against them. "This is a great dance song!" she shouted.

Leo gulped. Jesus Christ, was she trying to turn him on? It sure as hell was working! He felt clumsy as he barely moved and she danced her heart out.

Piper rolled her eyes. "You've got to loosen up!" she yelled. "Dancing is so not fun if you can't dance!"

"I already told you!" Leo insisted. "I. Don't. Dance!"

Piper shook her head and dragged him over to the bar. "Two tequila shots!" she shouted to the bartender. Then she turned to Leo. "What are you having?"

Leo jut looked at her. It would be a long night.

-----

Leo himself had had a few drinks, but he was hardly as drunk as Piper.

She let out a whoop of happiness from the bar. Where she was standing. "Drinks all around!" she patted the bartender's shoulder as cheers went around the room. "On him!"

"Piper…" Leo begged, looking around anxiously. "Please, come down off the bar."

Piper rolled her eyes but obeyed. He knew it was bad when her face lit up. "Hey…" she said slowly. "Let's do body shots!" She said like it was the first time the thought had ever crossed her mind. Leo figured it wasn't. She lay across the bar. The bartender brought a shot and shoved it into Leo's hand.

"Me?" Leo asked incredulously. The bartender nodded.

He looked at Piper's still form for a moment. "Where?" he asked finally.

"My nipples!" she said giddily. Leo went white, then red. He stood there a moment, as a crowd formed.

"Dude, if you won't do it, I will!" some wino shouted from the back.

"So will I!" came a girl's voice.

Piper lifted her head to look at him. "Hey buddy! Are you gonna do it? My stomach won't be this flat come Christmas!" She lifted her shirt just enough to expose her belly button.

Finally, Leo poured the drink onto her belly, whereupon he slurped it up. The feeling of tongue and lips against soft skin was electric. He heard her giggle and smiled.

"My turn!" Piper announced, swinging her feet to jump to the floor. Quickly, she shoved him onto the bar.

"Wha—What are you doing?" Leo spluttered dimly.

Piper just smiled sexily and straddled him. Leo gulped heavily. Here he was, with this beautiful, if not slightly insane, goddess on top of him and all he could thing about was where she was going to put her mouth. Okay, maybe that wasn't so crazy.

"Snap out of it, Wyatt." He mumbled under his breath. She unbuttoned his shirt.

Piper eyed him carefully. "If you be still, I can do this." She poured the drink onto his chest where it fell with a splash. To, him the next few moments were a godsend. She was slurping up and down his chest, back and forth. Finally, she had sucked up all of the liquor. Her wandering mouth fell on his nipple where she bit him softly, then winked.

Leo was so out of his head he almost passed out on the bar. But Piper beat him to it, passing out on him.

-----

Piper's eyes opened halfway, as she moaned groggily. She rolled over to see what time it was and instead of facing her alarm clock with her autographed photo if Brad Pitt beside it, she found a regular digital clock reading 9:13. Her eyes flew open. Where the hell was she?

Piper stood up and soon found a headache rushing to her. "Ohhh." She moaned, clutching her pounding head. She looked around and in her searching state, smelled bacon. She followed the intoxicating scent to find Leo Wyatt in his boxers and a tee shirt. Oh God. He was in his boxers. She couldn't stress that enough. God, he was good looking.

"Morning." He said, waving his spatula at her.

She smiled almost unnoticeably, and made her way to the coffee. "Let me guess." She said, pausing to think of where he would keep his mugs.

He smiled. "Here, I'll get you a mug." He moved to stand behind her and pressed into her a little, reaching up for a mug. She smiled her thanks when he handed to her. She poured a cup and drank it straight black. He watched him fiddle with the bacon, then frowned. "Turn it over now." She commanded.

He obeyed. "So, what were you guessing?"

"That I got drunk off my ass." Piper said, flopping down at the bar.

"Are you okay?" he asked, coming over with a bottle of aspirin.

She shrugged, taking the bottle, put putting her head down. " So long as we didn't sleep together. I don't have a problem. I drink, I get drunk, I pass out, no problem." Leo chuckled. Piper's head came up really fast, causing her to clutch it. "At least this isn't half as bad as that time I woke up in Manhattan." Her face turned worriedly thoughtful. "But that wasn't half as bad I woke up in Mexico."

Leo's face went blank. "Oh. My. God." He said, turning away. To her right, Piper noticed a stack of folders.

"What's this stuff?" she asked, though she was already opening one.

"Don't open that!" He said sharply. Piper ignored him. What she found in front of her were pictures of murder victims. One after the other pictures floated into perspective, along with their information.

A housewife, a conman, a banker…

"They seem unconnected." Leo said, with his back to her, putting food on plates. "But I know they are." Piper nodded. Leo put a plate in front of her.

"By the way, we didn't sleep together."

AN: So, what'd you think? I happened to like it! Tell me what you think!!