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Catherine
The day of Nick Stokes funeral, Catherine stood in front of her mirror and studied her face emotionlessly.
Her concealer had barely managed to cover the dark black circles under her eyes, and as she straightened her plain, black dress, she realised the once figure hugging black fabric hung limply off her frame, and that she had lost weight.
She looked old. Funny, she tried not to think herself that way, and yet she realised that she was. She sighed deeply, clasping her handbag and heading for her car. Lindsey was staying with her sister for the night. She didn't even know if her daughter had wanted to come to the funeral. She hadn't asked.
Under the wrought iron, churchyard gates was a clustering of black-clad mourners, and she surveyed them listlessly as she parked the car, and strode slowly towards them, heels sinking in the damp green grass.
She could almost forget they were in flashy, sinful Las Vegas. The church was simple and modest, unlike most of its neighbouring buildings. Her blue eyes drifted through the mourners, struggling to discern which were Nick's relations. She wondered what they thought of it. She wondered if they had preferred he was buried in Texas.
The churchyard was filling up swiftly. She realised she hardly recognised more than half of its occupants. There were some from the lab, others from the precinct, and some from other aspects of Nick's life. All those gathered told a quiet story about his life, and she realised then that she had only been privy to a very small portion of Nick's life, and it saddened her.
An overhanging oak tree shaded a small patch of grass along the inner fence line, and she spotted Brass and Greg standing awkwardly apart. Greg sat on the fence, legs swinging over the edge like a child, and Brass stood nearby, arms solemnly linked. They were part of the unit, yet were both slightly on the fringes, and had nothing to say to one another.
Catherine watched them silently for a moment, and then strode up to them.
"Hey".
Bras struggled to hide his relief at her arrival, and failed miserably. "Hey Cath".
Greg muttered something monotonously from his perch on the fence, and she spared him a brief glance, wondering if he had permanently lost the lively energy that made him uniquely Greg.
She had heard that he had suffered some sort of emotional breakdown at a crime scene the other day, though Grissom and Sara hadn't said anything about it. As far as she could tell, Grissom had put his foot in it again and caused him to snap, and she could hardly blame him.
As much as Grissom pretended he didn't see it, they all gravitated around him, and he was the centre of their circle. He needed to acknowledge that they all respected and looked up to him whether he wanted it or not. He was their leader, and he was doing a sucky job of showing it. He was shutting himself off, and they were falling apart without him. Catherine didn't think she had the strength to hold them up alone.
"Are the others here yet?"
Brass shrugged, gazing around vaguely. "I haven't seen them. It's still early yet".
She nodded, following his gaze. Just as he said so, she made eye contact with Sara across the churchyard.
The brunette looked ethereal as she slowly strode towards them, dressed simply in a black v-neck dress and jacket, hair tucked absently behind her ears. She looked… fragile. In the past Catherine might have thought that was the last word she would use in association with Sara Sidle, but she knew Sara hid a lot behind a tough, no-nonsense exterior. Nick's death had just made it harder for her to hide.
She noticed Brass eye her over with paternal concern, and sighed deeply. Just damn Grissom, she thought darkly. That's all I can say.
"Hey kiddo", Brass said evenly as she halted in front of them. "How you holding up?"
She shrugged. "Warrick called", she said, without answering Brass' question. She glanced at Catherine instead. "He said he's held up by traffic. He might be late".
Greg had slowly inched towards them now that Sara had arrived and he felt a little more comfortable invading their small circle, and Sara placed a comforting hand on his arm absently. He smiled slightly.
Catherine drew in a deep breath. "Has anyone spoken to Nick's family?"
Greg cleared his throat self-consciously. "I talked to Carrie, one of his sisters", he said quietly. "She said her parents probably won't be able to handle a wake."
Catherine nodded. They had agreed to hold a small gathering at her house after the service, but she hadn't really expected Nick's parents to come.
"She said they appreciated the gesture, though", he continued, frowning slightly.
Catherine smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Greg".
He shrugged, looking away. He stiffened slightly, and Sara instinctively followed his gaze, immediately coming into contact with something over Brass' shoulder. Her dark brown eyes hardened vaguely, and by the sickly pallor that had suddenly overtaken Greg's face, Catherine didn't need to ask where Grissom was.
Sara tugged on Greg's arm with abrupt urgency. "Let's go inside", she muttered.
Greg looked relieved to have a sudden escape route, and allowed her to quickly drag him away.
Brass and Catherine remained where they were, glancing up calmly when Grissom approached.
"Great job", Brass commented sarcastically. "You're getting really good at pushing people away. They should make a medal".
Grissom's blue eyes reflected something like hurt, and then he blinked, following Brass' gaze across the churchyard to Sara and Greg's departing backs. Catherine inwardly cursed Brass for his insensitivity. She knew he was frustrated with Grissom's actions, and so was she, but sarcasm wasn't the way to penetrate his walls.
"You really should talk to them, Gil", she said quietly.
Grissom glanced at her, studying her carefully. She sighed. "Remember Gil, you already lost one person."
She strode after the others without waiting for a response, as the other mourners began to filter into the church. She didn't glance back to see if Grissom or Brass were following her, but she figured one of them had to set the example. She wasn't surprised the responsibility fell to her.
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TBC…