DISCLAIMER- I don't own any of the characters, or the Reese's Cups. So don't sue me if you find something wrong with them. Not my problem.
YOU CAN TRY TO REVIEW, BUT I WON'T GET THEM FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY HIDING IN A COFFEE SHOP. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT LETTER WILL REACH FANFICTION BEFORE IT IS INTERCEPTED. REMEMBER, YOU ARE MY LAST HOPE THAT THE TALES OF THE ROOM WITH REESE'S CUPS WILL BE TOLD TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
With all due respect, PearlGirl
HOW WOULD CARMELITA SPATS EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
Carmelita Spats walked into the room and sniffed. "This room smells like cake-sniffing orphans," she complained. "There had better not be any in my room." She noticed the table at the end of the room. "What is that ugly table doing here?"
Carmelita adjusted her tiara and walked over to the table. She looked in and saw the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. "Oh, good." She nodded. "I guess this is part of the payment from those stupid orphans for being such a good messanger girl."
She took one and began unwrapping it. "Earrings would have been better. I'll have to talk to Vice Principal Nero." Then she smiled brightly. "Maybe he'll make me Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Queen! That's even better then False Spring Queen."
Carmelita finished unwrapping the candy. Now at this point in the story, I urge you to shut down your computer and read a different story, like "The Biggest Giant." I'm sure that book doesn't have rude snobby girls in it who get to eat delicious candies while you, as the reader, sit with a growling stomach. If you want to be spared the horrible fate of a terrible desire for a Reese's Cup, shut down this website and go read some other book. You can pretend that Carmelita did not get to eat the candy, and that prehaps the Baudelaires came running in and took it from her. This is your last chance!! Don't read the next paragraph, please! It will fill you with woe!
Carmelita laughed rudely and stuffed the delicious, rich chocolate into her mouth, smearing some of it on her nose as she shoved it down. "I really should be Queen of Prufrock Preparatory School too." she decided. "Then I don't have to listen to those stupid concerts. And I should be Queen of the Snow Scouts. Surely even they can admit that I'm the most accommodating, basic, calm, darling,...." She frowned. "I forget the rest." she shrugged. "I'll make up a new one for myself. It will be called the Queen Carmelita pledge." The nasty girl smiled. "Everyone will say it when I walk down a carpet from my carriage. They'll say: There's Queen Carmelita. She's amazing, beautiful, charming, darling, exciting, fantastic, gorgeous, horribly cute, intelligent, jolly, kind, lovable, mindboggiling, nice, one-of-a-kind, pretty, quite funny, radical, smart, terrific, unique, very brilliant, winning, xylophone, young, and zippy!!"
Carmelita grabbed the bowl and skipped toward the door of the room saying, "I think I'll make that into a song." Then she began to sing in a horribly off-key voice. "Queeen Carrrrmelllita is ammmmazzzing and...." she stopped
suddenly. "What about autographs?" she cried. "How shall I sign my name? In cursive?" the thought never occured to her that she still hadn't learned how to spell her own name. Instead, she simply skipped out the door, thinking of a longer and more elegant title.
HOW WOULD VICE PRINCIPAL NERO EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
Nero strode into the room and glanced around. "Where could they be?" he wondered out loud. "I'm waaaaiting." He held up his violin and shook it above his head. "This is taking time away from practicing my wonderful music!"
He glanced around one more time, and even bent down to look under the table. Then he sighed. "They must be hiding somewhere else. I'll just have to find them."
Then he noticed the bowl on the table. "What's this?" he asked. "Is it a present? For me?" he looked in a saw the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. "Oh good, it is!" he grabbed one with his fat fingers.
Suddenly, hearing a noise, he turned around. "Who is it?" he called. "I'm in here!" there was no reply. "Nuts, it's not them. I told Mr. Remora and that other stupid teacher that today is my half-birthday! They were obviously planning a surprise party, since they pretended they didn't know anything about my birthday. They were like, 'It's your half-birthday today? Are you sure?' But they were faking."
He scanned the room one more time. "Now I just have to find them so they can jump out, sing happy birthday, and I can play a concert for them, in honor of the greatest musician in the world." He smiled. "Moi."
"I'll get the whole big cake to myself. Except maybe that wonderful gym teacher can have a bite. What was his name, anyway? And I suppose I should give Carmelita a bite, since she comes from a rich family." He cackled. "And when the other brats say, 'Why don't we get a piece?' I can immitate them in my really, really annoying high pitched voice." The Vice Principal laughed. He unwrapped the candy and stuffed it into his mouth. Then he raised his violin and began to play Happy Birthday.
At this point, I have not been able to find any imformation about what happened next. This is because the member of VFD who was hiding behind the wall and listening promptly blacked out when his ears came into contact with the indescribably horrible music eminating from the violin. I was only able to unearth a diary written by Mr. Remora that said he had gotten a long lecture from Nero about the consequences of not throwing half-birthday parties for Vice Principals.
HOW WOULD MR. REMORA EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
Mr. Remora walked into the room, chewing on a banana. He noticed the table and the bowl right away.
"What's this?" he asked himself. He ambled over and saw the candies in the bowl. "I should use these in a story I could tell my students." he said. "Here's how it would go: Mr. Remora walked into the room, chewing on a banana. He noticed the table and the bowl right away. "What's this?" he asked himself. He ambled over and saw the candies in the bowl.
"I should use these in a story I could tell my students." he said. "Here's how it would go: Mr. Remora walked into the room, chewing on a banana. He noticed the table and the bowl right away. "What's this?" he asked himself. He ambled over and saw the candies in the bowl.
"I should use these in a story I could tell my students." he said. "Here's how it would go: Mr. Remora walked into the room, chewing on a banana. He noticed the table and the bowl right away. "What's this?" he asked himself.......................
HOW WOULD MS. BASS EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
The door opened and in walked Ms. Bass. She looked around the room, surveying it with her stern face. Then she saw the bowl and her eyes brightened. "I love figuring out circumferences!" she cried.
Ms. Bass ran over to the bowl and took out a ruler. "Let's see," she said, measuring the bowl's radius. "Its radius is 10 centimeters. That would mean its circumference would be.......... roughly 62.893 centimeters.
Then she reached into the bowl and took out a candy. "Now I'll measure this!" she cried. She measured length, width and height with and without the wrapper. Then it began to melt in her hands. "Oh." she cried. "Guess I better eat it. Can't waste a good Reese's Cup!" she popped it in her mouth.
The candy left little smudges of melted chocolate on her hand. "I'll measure these!" she cried. After measuring it, she looked at her watch. "I'd better measure my watch too! And all the little numbers, and the hands." after measuring all of that, she began to feel dizzy from squinting so hard at the tiny numbers. "I'd better get a drink." she decided, and left the room.
THERE'S NO WRONG WAY TO EAT A REESE'S!
REVIEWERS-
Brittany Malfoy- Thanks a lot for reviewing. Here's the next chapter. Sorry it took so long. I'm so naughty.
Leigh A. Sumpter- How do you know they don't already market tofu Reese's? What if everything we eat is really tofu? That's a kinda scary thought. Have you ever eaten just plain tofu? It's okay. I had it in a Japanese resturant. It's a spongey-squary-whitish blob. Not at all attractive looking, but it tastes better then it looks. It wasn't good enough for me to want to have another one, though.
smilies- Now you're in the home for deranged Reese's Cup fans? Practically all the people who read my story end up there. Oh well. I did warn you not to read this.
monkeymonkeymonky- Yeah. Neither did I until I looked it up on the internet. But Klaus is much smarter then normal people, don't you agree? Actually, I'm not very normal. I'm slightly, uh. How shall I put this? INSANE! Especially since we have only TWO AND A HALF MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL!!
o0wallpaper0o- Don't worry, I'll do Hal. This chapter is about the characters in book five. I'm doing it mostly in book order, so next is Jerome. Then I'll do Vile Villiage people, and THEN I'll do Hal. I don't even know what I should do yet. Wait, I actually just got a brain wave. I think I know what I'm going to do, but you'll have to wait! Muahahahaha!! About cookies and crackers. You're right, I'm wrong. I was confused. You call cookies biscuits, though. Don't you? It was about seven years ago, and my memory's a little faded. I suffer from short term memory loss. It runs in my family. At least, I think it does. Hee hee. Have you seen the movie Finding Nemo? I just quoted a line from it.
visualpurple- Ahhhhh. The freaks. Hmmmmmm. But of course I will do them! When do you get out of school? I get out this friday! Yeeeessss! It's really hot today. NINTY DEGREES! I'm sitting here, sweating. I feel really gross. You really had to know that, didn't you? Anyway, I reeeeally hope they let you into team Elijah. I'll be so lonely without you! Do you get yearbooks at your school? We just got them, and everybodies signing them and stuff. I've forbidden anyone to just write HAGS (Have A Great Summer) in my yearbook because it's soooooo uncreative. Most people wrote at least five sentances, happily. I remember that in Elementary school we got these tiny yearbooks and you'd get the whole class to sign, even people you didn't really know. Now everyone just gets their friends. Did you get my e-mail?
KittyWillow- Emily? You can't be Emily! I'M EMILY! My Mom doesn't want me giving my last name because there are evil stalkers on Fanfiction who will come and trace me and KILL ME IN MY SLEEP!! Anyway, my Mom was going to name me Amy, which I think is better, but she said Emily was longer. Amy is pretty short, but it's a lot prettier. Emily is soooooo boring. We have THREE Emilys just in my grade! It gets annoying. A lot of people call me by my last name so people won't get confused.
SakuraAngel623- Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!
ERMonkey, Queen of Insanity- Sorry it took a while, but here's my update. I had Math finals. Grrrrrrr.
Violet Baudelaire- Very interesting. I feel like a spy trying to piece together information about a case I'm working on! It's sooooo much fun! I want a rare edition book! How much do they cost? Or can you not buy them, they're so rare? My mom's name is Beatrice and whenever Lemony goes on about his lost love my Mom gets all sniffy.
BeBopALula- Cool name. I've never heard of the song, but that's okay. Sugarless pudding? GROSS. What is that? Is it anything like Tapioca, which I've never had, but everyone says is absolutely disgusting? Glad you liked my story!
YOU CAN TRY TO REVIEW, BUT I WON'T GET THEM FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY HIDING IN A COFFEE SHOP. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT LETTER WILL REACH FANFICTION BEFORE IT IS INTERCEPTED. REMEMBER, YOU ARE MY LAST HOPE THAT THE TALES OF THE ROOM WITH REESE'S CUPS WILL BE TOLD TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
With all due respect, PearlGirl
HOW WOULD CARMELITA SPATS EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
Carmelita Spats walked into the room and sniffed. "This room smells like cake-sniffing orphans," she complained. "There had better not be any in my room." She noticed the table at the end of the room. "What is that ugly table doing here?"
Carmelita adjusted her tiara and walked over to the table. She looked in and saw the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. "Oh, good." She nodded. "I guess this is part of the payment from those stupid orphans for being such a good messanger girl."
She took one and began unwrapping it. "Earrings would have been better. I'll have to talk to Vice Principal Nero." Then she smiled brightly. "Maybe he'll make me Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Queen! That's even better then False Spring Queen."
Carmelita finished unwrapping the candy. Now at this point in the story, I urge you to shut down your computer and read a different story, like "The Biggest Giant." I'm sure that book doesn't have rude snobby girls in it who get to eat delicious candies while you, as the reader, sit with a growling stomach. If you want to be spared the horrible fate of a terrible desire for a Reese's Cup, shut down this website and go read some other book. You can pretend that Carmelita did not get to eat the candy, and that prehaps the Baudelaires came running in and took it from her. This is your last chance!! Don't read the next paragraph, please! It will fill you with woe!
Carmelita laughed rudely and stuffed the delicious, rich chocolate into her mouth, smearing some of it on her nose as she shoved it down. "I really should be Queen of Prufrock Preparatory School too." she decided. "Then I don't have to listen to those stupid concerts. And I should be Queen of the Snow Scouts. Surely even they can admit that I'm the most accommodating, basic, calm, darling,...." She frowned. "I forget the rest." she shrugged. "I'll make up a new one for myself. It will be called the Queen Carmelita pledge." The nasty girl smiled. "Everyone will say it when I walk down a carpet from my carriage. They'll say: There's Queen Carmelita. She's amazing, beautiful, charming, darling, exciting, fantastic, gorgeous, horribly cute, intelligent, jolly, kind, lovable, mindboggiling, nice, one-of-a-kind, pretty, quite funny, radical, smart, terrific, unique, very brilliant, winning, xylophone, young, and zippy!!"
Carmelita grabbed the bowl and skipped toward the door of the room saying, "I think I'll make that into a song." Then she began to sing in a horribly off-key voice. "Queeen Carrrrmelllita is ammmmazzzing and...." she stopped
suddenly. "What about autographs?" she cried. "How shall I sign my name? In cursive?" the thought never occured to her that she still hadn't learned how to spell her own name. Instead, she simply skipped out the door, thinking of a longer and more elegant title.
HOW WOULD VICE PRINCIPAL NERO EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
Nero strode into the room and glanced around. "Where could they be?" he wondered out loud. "I'm waaaaiting." He held up his violin and shook it above his head. "This is taking time away from practicing my wonderful music!"
He glanced around one more time, and even bent down to look under the table. Then he sighed. "They must be hiding somewhere else. I'll just have to find them."
Then he noticed the bowl on the table. "What's this?" he asked. "Is it a present? For me?" he looked in a saw the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. "Oh good, it is!" he grabbed one with his fat fingers.
Suddenly, hearing a noise, he turned around. "Who is it?" he called. "I'm in here!" there was no reply. "Nuts, it's not them. I told Mr. Remora and that other stupid teacher that today is my half-birthday! They were obviously planning a surprise party, since they pretended they didn't know anything about my birthday. They were like, 'It's your half-birthday today? Are you sure?' But they were faking."
He scanned the room one more time. "Now I just have to find them so they can jump out, sing happy birthday, and I can play a concert for them, in honor of the greatest musician in the world." He smiled. "Moi."
"I'll get the whole big cake to myself. Except maybe that wonderful gym teacher can have a bite. What was his name, anyway? And I suppose I should give Carmelita a bite, since she comes from a rich family." He cackled. "And when the other brats say, 'Why don't we get a piece?' I can immitate them in my really, really annoying high pitched voice." The Vice Principal laughed. He unwrapped the candy and stuffed it into his mouth. Then he raised his violin and began to play Happy Birthday.
At this point, I have not been able to find any imformation about what happened next. This is because the member of VFD who was hiding behind the wall and listening promptly blacked out when his ears came into contact with the indescribably horrible music eminating from the violin. I was only able to unearth a diary written by Mr. Remora that said he had gotten a long lecture from Nero about the consequences of not throwing half-birthday parties for Vice Principals.
HOW WOULD MR. REMORA EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
Mr. Remora walked into the room, chewing on a banana. He noticed the table and the bowl right away.
"What's this?" he asked himself. He ambled over and saw the candies in the bowl. "I should use these in a story I could tell my students." he said. "Here's how it would go: Mr. Remora walked into the room, chewing on a banana. He noticed the table and the bowl right away. "What's this?" he asked himself. He ambled over and saw the candies in the bowl.
"I should use these in a story I could tell my students." he said. "Here's how it would go: Mr. Remora walked into the room, chewing on a banana. He noticed the table and the bowl right away. "What's this?" he asked himself. He ambled over and saw the candies in the bowl.
"I should use these in a story I could tell my students." he said. "Here's how it would go: Mr. Remora walked into the room, chewing on a banana. He noticed the table and the bowl right away. "What's this?" he asked himself.......................
HOW WOULD MS. BASS EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
The door opened and in walked Ms. Bass. She looked around the room, surveying it with her stern face. Then she saw the bowl and her eyes brightened. "I love figuring out circumferences!" she cried.
Ms. Bass ran over to the bowl and took out a ruler. "Let's see," she said, measuring the bowl's radius. "Its radius is 10 centimeters. That would mean its circumference would be.......... roughly 62.893 centimeters.
Then she reached into the bowl and took out a candy. "Now I'll measure this!" she cried. She measured length, width and height with and without the wrapper. Then it began to melt in her hands. "Oh." she cried. "Guess I better eat it. Can't waste a good Reese's Cup!" she popped it in her mouth.
The candy left little smudges of melted chocolate on her hand. "I'll measure these!" she cried. After measuring it, she looked at her watch. "I'd better measure my watch too! And all the little numbers, and the hands." after measuring all of that, she began to feel dizzy from squinting so hard at the tiny numbers. "I'd better get a drink." she decided, and left the room.
THERE'S NO WRONG WAY TO EAT A REESE'S!
REVIEWERS-
Brittany Malfoy- Thanks a lot for reviewing. Here's the next chapter. Sorry it took so long. I'm so naughty.
Leigh A. Sumpter- How do you know they don't already market tofu Reese's? What if everything we eat is really tofu? That's a kinda scary thought. Have you ever eaten just plain tofu? It's okay. I had it in a Japanese resturant. It's a spongey-squary-whitish blob. Not at all attractive looking, but it tastes better then it looks. It wasn't good enough for me to want to have another one, though.
smilies- Now you're in the home for deranged Reese's Cup fans? Practically all the people who read my story end up there. Oh well. I did warn you not to read this.
monkeymonkeymonky- Yeah. Neither did I until I looked it up on the internet. But Klaus is much smarter then normal people, don't you agree? Actually, I'm not very normal. I'm slightly, uh. How shall I put this? INSANE! Especially since we have only TWO AND A HALF MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL!!
o0wallpaper0o- Don't worry, I'll do Hal. This chapter is about the characters in book five. I'm doing it mostly in book order, so next is Jerome. Then I'll do Vile Villiage people, and THEN I'll do Hal. I don't even know what I should do yet. Wait, I actually just got a brain wave. I think I know what I'm going to do, but you'll have to wait! Muahahahaha!! About cookies and crackers. You're right, I'm wrong. I was confused. You call cookies biscuits, though. Don't you? It was about seven years ago, and my memory's a little faded. I suffer from short term memory loss. It runs in my family. At least, I think it does. Hee hee. Have you seen the movie Finding Nemo? I just quoted a line from it.
visualpurple- Ahhhhh. The freaks. Hmmmmmm. But of course I will do them! When do you get out of school? I get out this friday! Yeeeessss! It's really hot today. NINTY DEGREES! I'm sitting here, sweating. I feel really gross. You really had to know that, didn't you? Anyway, I reeeeally hope they let you into team Elijah. I'll be so lonely without you! Do you get yearbooks at your school? We just got them, and everybodies signing them and stuff. I've forbidden anyone to just write HAGS (Have A Great Summer) in my yearbook because it's soooooo uncreative. Most people wrote at least five sentances, happily. I remember that in Elementary school we got these tiny yearbooks and you'd get the whole class to sign, even people you didn't really know. Now everyone just gets their friends. Did you get my e-mail?
KittyWillow- Emily? You can't be Emily! I'M EMILY! My Mom doesn't want me giving my last name because there are evil stalkers on Fanfiction who will come and trace me and KILL ME IN MY SLEEP!! Anyway, my Mom was going to name me Amy, which I think is better, but she said Emily was longer. Amy is pretty short, but it's a lot prettier. Emily is soooooo boring. We have THREE Emilys just in my grade! It gets annoying. A lot of people call me by my last name so people won't get confused.
SakuraAngel623- Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!
ERMonkey, Queen of Insanity- Sorry it took a while, but here's my update. I had Math finals. Grrrrrrr.
Violet Baudelaire- Very interesting. I feel like a spy trying to piece together information about a case I'm working on! It's sooooo much fun! I want a rare edition book! How much do they cost? Or can you not buy them, they're so rare? My mom's name is Beatrice and whenever Lemony goes on about his lost love my Mom gets all sniffy.
BeBopALula- Cool name. I've never heard of the song, but that's okay. Sugarless pudding? GROSS. What is that? Is it anything like Tapioca, which I've never had, but everyone says is absolutely disgusting? Glad you liked my story!