[A/N: My friend said the same thing about them not believing Malfoy, so I
did a few things in this chapter answering that question]
Chapter IV
Hermione stayed awake the whole night, sitting up in a fetal position allowing the silent tears to run down her cheeks.
As sunlight crept into her room and the alarm clock rang, she quietly got out of bed and dressed in her uniform, then brushed her slightly tangled hair. She looked in the mirror and saw that her eyes were red and puffy, and there were noticeable bags beneath them.
She left her bookbag in the common room, she would be getting it before classes, and walked to the entrance. Hermione cautiously looked out, when she saw that the coast was clear she crept out of the secret common room and headed down to the Great Hall.
As Hermione headed down, she was followed by whispers and pointing, some giggling from girls too. She soon entered the Great Hall and sat in her same secluded spot, feeling tired and weak. The hall had seemed to hush during her entrance and all eyes were upon her.
The rumours had not seemed to travel as fast as the record, but it was still fast. She felt someone poke her in the back, silently asking her to turn around. She did and found Malfoy standing in front of her, Ron and Harry standing nearby, hoping to hear.
She closed her eyes, hoping everyone would just disappear, but by doing that the vision from the fatal night was brought into her view, she quickly opened her eyes.
"Are you really staying in a broom closet now, Granger?" Malfoy sneered, sounding absolutely happy.
"Leave me alone," she replied, turning back to her empty plate.
"You didn't seem to say that last year, as I remember. But I also remember having to scrub myself to get your mudblood-ness off me," he added, as an after thought.
To Hermione's horror, the whole hall erupted with laughter. She looked at the teacher's table and saw it empty. She was alone, no one standing up for her when she felt so weak. She looked down to hide the tears, and suddenly, she just felt... Numb.
Out of nowhere, nothing mattered at the moment (although she knew she would be crying later, it didn't matter now). Her parents were dead for Merlin's sake!
"Shut up Malfoy!" she said, standing up, her eyes still holding the tears.
"Oooh! Look at this!" Draco anounced in mock astonishment, everyone continued to laugh. She noticed that Harry and Ron were laughing also.
How could they do this to her? How could they leave her to be tortured? She couldn't take it, she no longer felt numb, the pain was back. She pushed Draco and his friends away and stormed out of the Great Hall. Everyone continued to laugh at her retreating form until the doors slammed shut.
Hermione's striding slowed down to a pace, she looked in her hand and saw that her crumpled schedule was there. She looked at it, and hung her head back and sighed deeply. She then looked back to the parchment to find that she had Double Advanced Potions with Slytherins. Luckily, at least Ron wasn't in that class, but Harry and Draco were.
She soon entered her common room and flung herself onto the couch, exploding into a large amount of sobs. She wanted to be in her mother's comforting arms again, to be safe as her father embraced her.
The sky had turned grey as dark clouds slowly covered the sky, Hermione looked away from the window. Soon, the bell rang announcing that students needed to head to class.
The trip was the same as always, and soon she was seated in the back of the room by herself. She looked up when Snape entered the room, and the rest of the students scrambled into their seats. Hermione was still alone.
"Today you will be concocting the Nocturnal Draught, enabling the drinker to be able to shift their sleeping habits," Snape began, taking all his students in with a venomous gaze. "The ingredients and instructions are on the board. Begin!"
Everyone moved around to get quills and parchment, Hermione did this all very slowly. In a few minutes, she had started her potion and was adding the third ingredient, cautiously reading her notes.
"Mudblood," someone hissed at her as they passed by.
Hermione tried to focus, she couldn't let anyone get under her skin. Finally, she finished her potion and bottled it, walking to the front of the room she set it in front of Snape. Then, without another word, she headed back to her seat.
"Miss Granger," Snape said, and she froze.
"Yes, sir," she replied, trembling harshly. She heard a few sniggers from behind her.
"Come here," he answered, and she slowly walked forward.
He got up and leaned over the desk, so that no one could hear.
"Professor McGonagall says that you are welcome to stay in the private chambers for the time being. Understood?" he said, she nodded and headed back to her seat.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Thankfully, classes were over in a matter of time, Hermione headed back to her common room and was about to say the password when she heard a cough.
She turned around and saw Ron, standing there and glaring at her.
"So it's true," he said, raising an eyebrow to the girl.
"What?" she asked.
"Your living in a broom closet now. Or maybe, your just going in there to go on with your slutty lifestyle," Ron smirked, she felt like she was going to crumble.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Hermione asked, her voice not much higher than a whisper.
"Because your a bloody traitor and tramp," he replied, and turned to leave.
"Wait!" Hermione called, hoping there would be someone to understand.
"What?!" he snarled, turning back to her.
"My parents are-are-" she couldn't say it. It was too hard.
"Muggles? Yeah, we all know your a flithy and stupid mudblood," Ron replied and turned back to leave.
She took in a deep breath, begging herself to not cry, not in the corridor. But she leaned against the wall, slid down, and went back into her fetal position. The tears were back once again.
Hermione stayed in that hall, she was passed by, but ignored. The bell rang indicating dinner, but she ignored it. Hermione stood up and quickly entered her common room.
No one cared for her, she was alone, alone in the terrible world she had called her own.
She lunged to the couch, in her own heap of sorrow and defeat. The year was to be long and terrible. How much more could she take before she cracked? A knock came to her door, she lazily got up and opened it. Outside was Dumbledore, his eyes looked down at her in sorrow, not pity.
"Miss Granger, is there something you would like to tell me?" he asked.
Of course there was! She wanted to die! She hated living in this cold and cruel world.
"No, sir," Hermione looked at her feet, noting the way she had laced up her boots and very specific details.
"Miss Granger, I know what has happened, and I would like to know if there is anything you would like," Dumbledore replied.
"What about not attending classes and never having to see my fellow peers again?" Hermione laughed a cold and dry laugh, it did not reach her eyes.
"That is possible."
Hermione quickly looked up at him questioningly, ignoring the tear stains on her cheeks.
"It's okay, sir. I feel it better to face one's problems than to run away from them."
"If that is how you feel, then I respect your decision. Your wisdom reaches beyond your years, I hope that you are aware of that," he gave her one last nod and left.
Hermione felt a tug on her heart as she saw Harry passing by. Would he ignore her also? Harry glanced at her, but quickly looked away as he shook his head. Hermione couldn't take this, she ran to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. She turned him around forced him to look in her eyes.
"Why did you believe Malfoy? Why don't you believe me? I have been your best friend since first year! He's been trying to break our friendship for the same amount of years also! How can you believe such a thing?!" she screamed, tears swelling in her questioning eyes.
Harry looked at her and sighed, then brushed her hands from his shoulders. "Because me and Ron were never your best friends in the first place."
He then walked away from her. But he had to be lying, they had been so close, maybe he was in denial. It was a possibililty. Hermione couldn't feel her legs anymore, they felt like jelly. The people who were closest to her had given up on her. Her parents had left her alone, and now her best friends loathed her with a passion.
Hermione felt sick, she quickly ran back to her door, opened it and ran upstairs to her bathroom. She needed to puke, this was too much.
She rested her head on the toilet seat, as the sickness had made her very weak, Hermione lifted her head and stared at herself in the floor-to- ceiling mirror. She looked terrible, her hair was wet and messy, and she had large bag under her eyes.
Wiping away the offending matter on her face, Hermione quickly went back to her bedroom. She let the pillow muffle her screams of sadness. Then she fell asleep exhausted, finally having her own dreamless sleep.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
The next day proved to be a challenge, people were now openly talking behind her back, and she kept receiving pitying looks from the staff, they were the only ones who were aware of her predicament.
Transfiguration was different for the students, because Hermione stayed silent, and never raised her hand. She would just keep her head low and scribble down notes. Oblivious to what was really going on, they all just assumed that she was probably grieving over Malfoy's break up with her.
Malfoy was now currently dating Pansy Parkinson, even though this was highly expected.
Professor McGonagall, who had been keeping an eye on the sad student, tutted in worry as the class ended. Hermione slowly got up and headed for the door when she was suddenly surrounded. McGonagall, didn't notice until she heard a clunk on wood. Hermione was now lying on her classroom floor, unconcious.
As the woman rushed Hermione to the Hospital Wing, the nearest adult, Remus Lupin (who had currently been visiting for the Order, and had been passing by the classroom) carrying her in the rush.
Students stopped to look and point, some cruel enough managed to snigger, and Remus Lupin would send them a warning look. No one had ever seen him look this worried and angry. Remus gently laid Hermione in the bed, and Madam Promfrey quickly came out.
Taking one look at the girl, she rushed over even faster, and checked the girl's pulse.
"Unbelieveable, students ganging up on someone weaker and less able to fight back. Truly unbelieveable, but my gods! What the girl has been through!" the nurse exclaimed dramatically and shook her head sadly, Remus looked at her in question from his stance at the foot of her bed, McGonagall beside him.
"What do you mean?" he asked, looking at his ex-student.
"Did you not hear? The girl has been traumatized since it happened, having to take sleeping potions every night!" Madam Promfrey, began to heal the heavily bleeding wound on Hermione's head.
"What happened, no one has told me, not even Harry."
"Mister Potter does not know, seeing as how she is still having a hard time. Plus the fact that he and Mister Weasley have left her to grieve alone. The poor girl is hated by everyone," Madam Promfrey tutted, as she put a bandage on Hermione's head.
"Your kidding! Why hasn't anyone told them?"
"Because if she isn't ready, then they don't need to hear it yet. Albus knows that they will bombard her with questions once word gets out," Madam Promfrey tutted again and took a seat by Hermione's bed.
"I can't believe this," Remus shook his head.
"Miss Granger had awoken to her parents fighting, and then the she enters the kitchen to see her own mother beheaded, by her father! He, then, kills himself in shame, which, can only make the event worse. Luckily, Albus found her in time, she was about to take her own life. Hermione has indeed suffered the most traumatizing event for a teenager. She is now loathed by her peers and is having a horrible time, I cannot think of what this will come to."
Remus stood there in shock, McGonagall was now quietly crying.
Silence filled the infirmary, then soon Hermione came back to conciousness. She sat up in bed and looked around wearily.
"Hey Hermione," Remus greeted her, and smiled.
She looked at him, her eyes were tired and bloodshot. She looked very pale, she gave a small smile, yet it did not reach her eyes.
"Hello," she replied and rubbed the spot where her wound was.
"I must be going, Dumbledore still probably wants to see me about the Order. Minerva, Madam Promfrey, Hermione," he gave them all a nod and left the room.
As Remus headed to the Headmaster's office, he saw Ron, Harry, Lavendar Brown (whom he remembered from his temporary staff position), and Ginny all speaking quietly. Remus suddenly felt an anger towards Harry, like the time when he had actually blamed Harry for Sirius' death, but they had quickly made up.
Yet now it was different, Harry was hurting an already broken girl. He made sure to ignore the four as he passed by, yet no avail.
"Professor! I mean Remus! Over here!" Harry called to him, wearing a happy smile. This made Remus want to shake his head a few times in denial.
Remus stared at the teenager a few minutes, trying his best to not imagine the great kid to be that horrible person.
"Remus?" Ron asked.
Remus shook his head once more, and answered, "Yes?"
"Hey! I haven't seen you for a long time," Harry exclaimed, Remus just stood there, now looking at the two girls. They had been apart of the group that had left the classroom, where he and McGonagall found Hermione.
"Yes," Remus nodded.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked, the rest of them looked at him quizzically.
"Yes, just worried," Remus replied, then left before they could question him more.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Hermione took a sip from the potion and set it down on the table beside the hospital bed. She was forced to stay in the Hospital Wing over night, but she was surprisingly grateful.
It felt weird, not having visitors, because in her past years she always had people checking on her. Now, she was alone. The infirmary was empty, except for the sleeping patients beside her. The night was silent, and Hermione gulped down the rest of the potion before falling asleep.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Hermione sat up in bed, and looked around her, it was still quiet. Looking at the clock beside her, she saw that it was four in the morning. Hermione got out of the bed, and shivered at how cold the stones on the floor were. She took a quick breath, then began to pacing the infirmary and thinking.
First her parents die brutally, then she is left by her friends, then she is attacked by peers and classmates. Life, obviously, wanted nothing to do with her now. She should have never been reluctant about killing herself with the gun. Had she known about what would happen later in her hopeless life.
Hermione cursed silently to herself, then shook her head. Life would never be perfect, she had had the grades, the friends, the parents, the love. Now that was all gone, she knew for sure her grades would fall.
She sat down on the rumpled sheets of the bed, and stared out the nearest window. The heavy breathing of the person behind her went unnoticed. All that mattered at the moment is that she would feel pain. Feel pain like her parents had. She did not like the emotional pain, she felt that physical pain would hurt much less, and she would be able to control that.
Hermione remembered the television shows where muggles cut themselves to relieve pain, and then they were sent to a counselor of some kind. She had pitied those people, being stupid enough to hurt themselves, and now she suddenly felt their pain.
The light at the end of her tunnel had gone out, and it felt like an eternity until she would find the correct direction. Life was ending slowly. Hermione jumped as she heard the door creak open, and as light flooded the room. Hermione quickly climbed into bed and watched as Madam Promfrey entered the room and checked on the patient beside her. The medi- witch tutted, and muttered a few spells, then quickly left the room into her office.
Hours passed, and before long Hermione was being ushered out of the Hospital Wing, and having a bag full of Dreamless Sleeping Draughts shoved into her hands. Madam Promfrey gave her one last smile, then closed the door in Hermione's face. She sighed and headed back to her dormitory to get ready for classes.
Hermione trudged along the corridors, hearing people mutter profanities near her, and receiving glares from a few fellow Gryffindors.
Ignoring the feeling of being unwanted, Hermione continued to walk through the halls. Pondering. Harry was definitely in denial, which was weird because he was never one to be, but Ron must have talked to him, convinced him that Malfoy was speaking the truth. Did years of love and loyalty go unnoticed? It hurt so bad that they did not believe a single word of what she had to say.
"Watch it," someone stated as they purposely bumped into her.
Hermione ignored them, and continued to walk until she reached the old wooden door. Taking a quick look around, she said the password ("Radio Player"), and entered the room. Feeling slightly stupid to having believed that she would be comforted in such a moment of crisis, she screamed and began to destroy the common room once again. Using her anger, grief, and jealousy of all that had smiles on their faces.
She entered into the confines of her room, her breathing ragged and harsh, her hair ruffled, her eyes glinting with hate for herself. She glanced around the room, lowering her eyebrows in a maddening rush that had begun to control her mind. She grabbed a pocket knife that she had kept with herself for protection, in case the school was attacked and she didn't have her wand.
"No more grief," she whispered, running the blade across her wrist in a graceful motion that was so beautiful, yet so hating.
"No more fucking feelings," she whispered to herself, slicing her arm again.
Crookshanks, who had been asleep on her bed, raised his eyes to her in concern.
"Closer to death," she whispered, and slit her skin, before dropping the blade and letting a sickening and sad smile cross her lips. She smiled as tears suddenly began to run freely, yet unnoticed.
[A/N: Please review and recommend this to your friends, I need some creative criticism.]
Chapter IV
Hermione stayed awake the whole night, sitting up in a fetal position allowing the silent tears to run down her cheeks.
As sunlight crept into her room and the alarm clock rang, she quietly got out of bed and dressed in her uniform, then brushed her slightly tangled hair. She looked in the mirror and saw that her eyes were red and puffy, and there were noticeable bags beneath them.
She left her bookbag in the common room, she would be getting it before classes, and walked to the entrance. Hermione cautiously looked out, when she saw that the coast was clear she crept out of the secret common room and headed down to the Great Hall.
As Hermione headed down, she was followed by whispers and pointing, some giggling from girls too. She soon entered the Great Hall and sat in her same secluded spot, feeling tired and weak. The hall had seemed to hush during her entrance and all eyes were upon her.
The rumours had not seemed to travel as fast as the record, but it was still fast. She felt someone poke her in the back, silently asking her to turn around. She did and found Malfoy standing in front of her, Ron and Harry standing nearby, hoping to hear.
She closed her eyes, hoping everyone would just disappear, but by doing that the vision from the fatal night was brought into her view, she quickly opened her eyes.
"Are you really staying in a broom closet now, Granger?" Malfoy sneered, sounding absolutely happy.
"Leave me alone," she replied, turning back to her empty plate.
"You didn't seem to say that last year, as I remember. But I also remember having to scrub myself to get your mudblood-ness off me," he added, as an after thought.
To Hermione's horror, the whole hall erupted with laughter. She looked at the teacher's table and saw it empty. She was alone, no one standing up for her when she felt so weak. She looked down to hide the tears, and suddenly, she just felt... Numb.
Out of nowhere, nothing mattered at the moment (although she knew she would be crying later, it didn't matter now). Her parents were dead for Merlin's sake!
"Shut up Malfoy!" she said, standing up, her eyes still holding the tears.
"Oooh! Look at this!" Draco anounced in mock astonishment, everyone continued to laugh. She noticed that Harry and Ron were laughing also.
How could they do this to her? How could they leave her to be tortured? She couldn't take it, she no longer felt numb, the pain was back. She pushed Draco and his friends away and stormed out of the Great Hall. Everyone continued to laugh at her retreating form until the doors slammed shut.
Hermione's striding slowed down to a pace, she looked in her hand and saw that her crumpled schedule was there. She looked at it, and hung her head back and sighed deeply. She then looked back to the parchment to find that she had Double Advanced Potions with Slytherins. Luckily, at least Ron wasn't in that class, but Harry and Draco were.
She soon entered her common room and flung herself onto the couch, exploding into a large amount of sobs. She wanted to be in her mother's comforting arms again, to be safe as her father embraced her.
The sky had turned grey as dark clouds slowly covered the sky, Hermione looked away from the window. Soon, the bell rang announcing that students needed to head to class.
The trip was the same as always, and soon she was seated in the back of the room by herself. She looked up when Snape entered the room, and the rest of the students scrambled into their seats. Hermione was still alone.
"Today you will be concocting the Nocturnal Draught, enabling the drinker to be able to shift their sleeping habits," Snape began, taking all his students in with a venomous gaze. "The ingredients and instructions are on the board. Begin!"
Everyone moved around to get quills and parchment, Hermione did this all very slowly. In a few minutes, she had started her potion and was adding the third ingredient, cautiously reading her notes.
"Mudblood," someone hissed at her as they passed by.
Hermione tried to focus, she couldn't let anyone get under her skin. Finally, she finished her potion and bottled it, walking to the front of the room she set it in front of Snape. Then, without another word, she headed back to her seat.
"Miss Granger," Snape said, and she froze.
"Yes, sir," she replied, trembling harshly. She heard a few sniggers from behind her.
"Come here," he answered, and she slowly walked forward.
He got up and leaned over the desk, so that no one could hear.
"Professor McGonagall says that you are welcome to stay in the private chambers for the time being. Understood?" he said, she nodded and headed back to her seat.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Thankfully, classes were over in a matter of time, Hermione headed back to her common room and was about to say the password when she heard a cough.
She turned around and saw Ron, standing there and glaring at her.
"So it's true," he said, raising an eyebrow to the girl.
"What?" she asked.
"Your living in a broom closet now. Or maybe, your just going in there to go on with your slutty lifestyle," Ron smirked, she felt like she was going to crumble.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Hermione asked, her voice not much higher than a whisper.
"Because your a bloody traitor and tramp," he replied, and turned to leave.
"Wait!" Hermione called, hoping there would be someone to understand.
"What?!" he snarled, turning back to her.
"My parents are-are-" she couldn't say it. It was too hard.
"Muggles? Yeah, we all know your a flithy and stupid mudblood," Ron replied and turned back to leave.
She took in a deep breath, begging herself to not cry, not in the corridor. But she leaned against the wall, slid down, and went back into her fetal position. The tears were back once again.
Hermione stayed in that hall, she was passed by, but ignored. The bell rang indicating dinner, but she ignored it. Hermione stood up and quickly entered her common room.
No one cared for her, she was alone, alone in the terrible world she had called her own.
She lunged to the couch, in her own heap of sorrow and defeat. The year was to be long and terrible. How much more could she take before she cracked? A knock came to her door, she lazily got up and opened it. Outside was Dumbledore, his eyes looked down at her in sorrow, not pity.
"Miss Granger, is there something you would like to tell me?" he asked.
Of course there was! She wanted to die! She hated living in this cold and cruel world.
"No, sir," Hermione looked at her feet, noting the way she had laced up her boots and very specific details.
"Miss Granger, I know what has happened, and I would like to know if there is anything you would like," Dumbledore replied.
"What about not attending classes and never having to see my fellow peers again?" Hermione laughed a cold and dry laugh, it did not reach her eyes.
"That is possible."
Hermione quickly looked up at him questioningly, ignoring the tear stains on her cheeks.
"It's okay, sir. I feel it better to face one's problems than to run away from them."
"If that is how you feel, then I respect your decision. Your wisdom reaches beyond your years, I hope that you are aware of that," he gave her one last nod and left.
Hermione felt a tug on her heart as she saw Harry passing by. Would he ignore her also? Harry glanced at her, but quickly looked away as he shook his head. Hermione couldn't take this, she ran to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. She turned him around forced him to look in her eyes.
"Why did you believe Malfoy? Why don't you believe me? I have been your best friend since first year! He's been trying to break our friendship for the same amount of years also! How can you believe such a thing?!" she screamed, tears swelling in her questioning eyes.
Harry looked at her and sighed, then brushed her hands from his shoulders. "Because me and Ron were never your best friends in the first place."
He then walked away from her. But he had to be lying, they had been so close, maybe he was in denial. It was a possibililty. Hermione couldn't feel her legs anymore, they felt like jelly. The people who were closest to her had given up on her. Her parents had left her alone, and now her best friends loathed her with a passion.
Hermione felt sick, she quickly ran back to her door, opened it and ran upstairs to her bathroom. She needed to puke, this was too much.
She rested her head on the toilet seat, as the sickness had made her very weak, Hermione lifted her head and stared at herself in the floor-to- ceiling mirror. She looked terrible, her hair was wet and messy, and she had large bag under her eyes.
Wiping away the offending matter on her face, Hermione quickly went back to her bedroom. She let the pillow muffle her screams of sadness. Then she fell asleep exhausted, finally having her own dreamless sleep.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
The next day proved to be a challenge, people were now openly talking behind her back, and she kept receiving pitying looks from the staff, they were the only ones who were aware of her predicament.
Transfiguration was different for the students, because Hermione stayed silent, and never raised her hand. She would just keep her head low and scribble down notes. Oblivious to what was really going on, they all just assumed that she was probably grieving over Malfoy's break up with her.
Malfoy was now currently dating Pansy Parkinson, even though this was highly expected.
Professor McGonagall, who had been keeping an eye on the sad student, tutted in worry as the class ended. Hermione slowly got up and headed for the door when she was suddenly surrounded. McGonagall, didn't notice until she heard a clunk on wood. Hermione was now lying on her classroom floor, unconcious.
As the woman rushed Hermione to the Hospital Wing, the nearest adult, Remus Lupin (who had currently been visiting for the Order, and had been passing by the classroom) carrying her in the rush.
Students stopped to look and point, some cruel enough managed to snigger, and Remus Lupin would send them a warning look. No one had ever seen him look this worried and angry. Remus gently laid Hermione in the bed, and Madam Promfrey quickly came out.
Taking one look at the girl, she rushed over even faster, and checked the girl's pulse.
"Unbelieveable, students ganging up on someone weaker and less able to fight back. Truly unbelieveable, but my gods! What the girl has been through!" the nurse exclaimed dramatically and shook her head sadly, Remus looked at her in question from his stance at the foot of her bed, McGonagall beside him.
"What do you mean?" he asked, looking at his ex-student.
"Did you not hear? The girl has been traumatized since it happened, having to take sleeping potions every night!" Madam Promfrey, began to heal the heavily bleeding wound on Hermione's head.
"What happened, no one has told me, not even Harry."
"Mister Potter does not know, seeing as how she is still having a hard time. Plus the fact that he and Mister Weasley have left her to grieve alone. The poor girl is hated by everyone," Madam Promfrey tutted, as she put a bandage on Hermione's head.
"Your kidding! Why hasn't anyone told them?"
"Because if she isn't ready, then they don't need to hear it yet. Albus knows that they will bombard her with questions once word gets out," Madam Promfrey tutted again and took a seat by Hermione's bed.
"I can't believe this," Remus shook his head.
"Miss Granger had awoken to her parents fighting, and then the she enters the kitchen to see her own mother beheaded, by her father! He, then, kills himself in shame, which, can only make the event worse. Luckily, Albus found her in time, she was about to take her own life. Hermione has indeed suffered the most traumatizing event for a teenager. She is now loathed by her peers and is having a horrible time, I cannot think of what this will come to."
Remus stood there in shock, McGonagall was now quietly crying.
Silence filled the infirmary, then soon Hermione came back to conciousness. She sat up in bed and looked around wearily.
"Hey Hermione," Remus greeted her, and smiled.
She looked at him, her eyes were tired and bloodshot. She looked very pale, she gave a small smile, yet it did not reach her eyes.
"Hello," she replied and rubbed the spot where her wound was.
"I must be going, Dumbledore still probably wants to see me about the Order. Minerva, Madam Promfrey, Hermione," he gave them all a nod and left the room.
As Remus headed to the Headmaster's office, he saw Ron, Harry, Lavendar Brown (whom he remembered from his temporary staff position), and Ginny all speaking quietly. Remus suddenly felt an anger towards Harry, like the time when he had actually blamed Harry for Sirius' death, but they had quickly made up.
Yet now it was different, Harry was hurting an already broken girl. He made sure to ignore the four as he passed by, yet no avail.
"Professor! I mean Remus! Over here!" Harry called to him, wearing a happy smile. This made Remus want to shake his head a few times in denial.
Remus stared at the teenager a few minutes, trying his best to not imagine the great kid to be that horrible person.
"Remus?" Ron asked.
Remus shook his head once more, and answered, "Yes?"
"Hey! I haven't seen you for a long time," Harry exclaimed, Remus just stood there, now looking at the two girls. They had been apart of the group that had left the classroom, where he and McGonagall found Hermione.
"Yes," Remus nodded.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked, the rest of them looked at him quizzically.
"Yes, just worried," Remus replied, then left before they could question him more.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Hermione took a sip from the potion and set it down on the table beside the hospital bed. She was forced to stay in the Hospital Wing over night, but she was surprisingly grateful.
It felt weird, not having visitors, because in her past years she always had people checking on her. Now, she was alone. The infirmary was empty, except for the sleeping patients beside her. The night was silent, and Hermione gulped down the rest of the potion before falling asleep.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Hermione sat up in bed, and looked around her, it was still quiet. Looking at the clock beside her, she saw that it was four in the morning. Hermione got out of the bed, and shivered at how cold the stones on the floor were. She took a quick breath, then began to pacing the infirmary and thinking.
First her parents die brutally, then she is left by her friends, then she is attacked by peers and classmates. Life, obviously, wanted nothing to do with her now. She should have never been reluctant about killing herself with the gun. Had she known about what would happen later in her hopeless life.
Hermione cursed silently to herself, then shook her head. Life would never be perfect, she had had the grades, the friends, the parents, the love. Now that was all gone, she knew for sure her grades would fall.
She sat down on the rumpled sheets of the bed, and stared out the nearest window. The heavy breathing of the person behind her went unnoticed. All that mattered at the moment is that she would feel pain. Feel pain like her parents had. She did not like the emotional pain, she felt that physical pain would hurt much less, and she would be able to control that.
Hermione remembered the television shows where muggles cut themselves to relieve pain, and then they were sent to a counselor of some kind. She had pitied those people, being stupid enough to hurt themselves, and now she suddenly felt their pain.
The light at the end of her tunnel had gone out, and it felt like an eternity until she would find the correct direction. Life was ending slowly. Hermione jumped as she heard the door creak open, and as light flooded the room. Hermione quickly climbed into bed and watched as Madam Promfrey entered the room and checked on the patient beside her. The medi- witch tutted, and muttered a few spells, then quickly left the room into her office.
Hours passed, and before long Hermione was being ushered out of the Hospital Wing, and having a bag full of Dreamless Sleeping Draughts shoved into her hands. Madam Promfrey gave her one last smile, then closed the door in Hermione's face. She sighed and headed back to her dormitory to get ready for classes.
Hermione trudged along the corridors, hearing people mutter profanities near her, and receiving glares from a few fellow Gryffindors.
Ignoring the feeling of being unwanted, Hermione continued to walk through the halls. Pondering. Harry was definitely in denial, which was weird because he was never one to be, but Ron must have talked to him, convinced him that Malfoy was speaking the truth. Did years of love and loyalty go unnoticed? It hurt so bad that they did not believe a single word of what she had to say.
"Watch it," someone stated as they purposely bumped into her.
Hermione ignored them, and continued to walk until she reached the old wooden door. Taking a quick look around, she said the password ("Radio Player"), and entered the room. Feeling slightly stupid to having believed that she would be comforted in such a moment of crisis, she screamed and began to destroy the common room once again. Using her anger, grief, and jealousy of all that had smiles on their faces.
She entered into the confines of her room, her breathing ragged and harsh, her hair ruffled, her eyes glinting with hate for herself. She glanced around the room, lowering her eyebrows in a maddening rush that had begun to control her mind. She grabbed a pocket knife that she had kept with herself for protection, in case the school was attacked and she didn't have her wand.
"No more grief," she whispered, running the blade across her wrist in a graceful motion that was so beautiful, yet so hating.
"No more fucking feelings," she whispered to herself, slicing her arm again.
Crookshanks, who had been asleep on her bed, raised his eyes to her in concern.
"Closer to death," she whispered, and slit her skin, before dropping the blade and letting a sickening and sad smile cross her lips. She smiled as tears suddenly began to run freely, yet unnoticed.
[A/N: Please review and recommend this to your friends, I need some creative criticism.]