DICLAIMER- I, PearlGirl, the new FOURTEEN YEAR OLD, do solemnly swear that I don't take credit for any of the characters in here. I do take credit for being FOURTEEN, however. I also taking credit for the fact that I'm GETTING MY EARS PIERCED FINALLY TODAY!!!!!!! Wish me luck! It sounds painful!
HOW WOULD THE VOLUNTEERS FIGHTING DISEASE EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
The volunteers burst in the door singing "We visit people who are ill, and try to make them laugh, even when the doctor says he must saw them in half."
Then suddenly, one of the volunteers cried, "Brothers and sisters, we have a crisis on our hands!"
"What is it, sister?" A man with a guitar asked.
"We're out of heart shaped balloons!" The lady cried. "How can we sing: 'Have a heart shaped balloon', if we're all out of them?"
Everyone puzzled over this for a moment. Then the man with the guitar noticed the Reese's Cups. "We can give everyone candy!" He said. "They may not be as good at fighting disease as balloons, but I'm sure they'll help."
"But what about our song?" Asked a male volunteer. "We can't sing about heart shaped balloons if we don't have any."
"Hmmmmmm," thought the man with the guitar. "How can we change the words?" There was a long silence while the volunteers who were skilled at rhyming puzzled over this matter.
"I've got it, brothers and sisters!" Exclaimed a lady with long, brown hair.
"What?" Asked the man with the guitar.
"We could sing, Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee, hope things start looking up. Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, have a Reese's Cup!" Everyone cheered at the amazing rhyming ability of their 'sister'. Then they began singing it over and over, about fifty times so that they would have it imprinted on their skulls and would never forget it. Then, still singing, they left the room, caring the bowl of Reese's Cups.
HOW WOULD HAL EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
Hal entered the room. "Hmmmmm," he muttered, "This doesn't look the Library of Records to me. I must have entered the wrong room. My eyesight's just not what it used to be." He squinted around the room and noticed the table with the bowl on it. "Oh wait," he said to himself, "Maybe that's the bowl of fruit! I guess I'm in the library after all!"
He walked over and saw that the bowl was instead filled with something other then fruit. Something orange and brown. "What is that?" He wondered. "I can't quite make it out. It's too blurry." Hal reached for one, but missed and grabbed empty air. "Darn it!" He muttered. "I should get better glasses!"
After at least five tries, Hal finally managed to grab a candy. He fumbled with the wrapper and brought it close enough to touch his nose. "Why do they make the writing so small?" he complained. "It looks like Rights Peanut Booter Cop. Or maybe Reins Penguin Bowler Up? I don't know!" He decided, after much thought, to taste it and see what it was. "It's probably not anything dangerous." He decided. "After all, Matthias is such an organized Head of Human Resources. I'm sure he would make sure no harm came to the hospital or anyone in it."
With much struggling, Hal finally managed to rip off the orange wrapper. He almost took a bite before he realized that the black stuff was yet another paper wrapping. "How much protection does this thing need?" He wondered.
When the candy was fully unwrapped, he hesitantly took a small bite. "This is delicious!" He cried. "I really should give one to those nice kids that work for me! They look so familiar, but I just can't place it." Walking unsteadily, he left the room.
HOW WOULD BABS EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
The door of the room squeaked open and a hand reached through the door and flicked the light switch. The room was flooded with darkness. Then a female voice muttered. "Good, now nobody can see me. I'm not supposed to leave my office, since adults should be heard and not seen. Oh well. I heard there was candy in here, and I want some."
Footsteps could be heard on the carpet as someone, probably of average weight and height, walked toward the table in the middle of the room. There was a crinkling sound, as if a piece of chocolate and peanut butter candy was being unwrapped. Then a chewing sound, as if someone was chewing candy with their mouth open. Then came a contented sigh, and a voice that said, "This is delicious. I'd better take them all with me to my office. After all, I wouldn't want anyone to see me if I came back here for more."
Then more footsteps walked to the door, which opened, and closed again quickly. By the time my assistant had gotten out of his hiding place, ran to the door and looked out in the hall, the mysterious person had gone. But, after researching the incident as much as possible, I have come to the conclusion that the someone who took the Reese's Cups was Babs, former head of Human Resources. Unfortunately, Count Olaf convinced her to become a stuntwomen and throw herself off buildings before I was ever able to see her and possibly discover the secrets surrounding her, and Hemlich Hospital. For now, all I can do it continue my sad duty of recording all the things I have seen happening in the room with the bowl of Reese's Cups.
THERE'S NO WRONG WAY TO EAT A REESE'S!
REVIEWERS-
ERMonkey, Burner of Cookies- Did you have a bad baking accident with cookies or something? Why the changed name? I usually don't burn cookies, I usually burn my finger trying to get them out of the oven. Yesterday I burned holes in a plastic tray. Not good. Oh well, we have plenty of plastic trays at my house. You really are obsessed with Hector, aren't you? I like Quigley better. He's got a cool name.
chuckles-le-squish- Your SCIENCE TEACHER gave you a name like chuckles-le-squish? This is one teacher I've got to meet. The mob was fun to do. Hee hee.
Violet Baudelaire- That would be soooo cool if you had gotten the part! Then I could say, I've talked to the actress who played Violet! Oh well. How expensive is the Grim Grotto going to be? Klaus is going to be taller then Violet? That stinks! The little preview thingy didn't work on my computer. Grrrrrr. I'm five three, but that's pretty short for my age (I just turned 14!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEE!!!)
KittyWillow- I'm glad you liked the chapter. Hector is funfun. We don't have a lot of money in my school either, but they always find some to make at least some kind of yearbooks. It's soooo sad because they're firing one of my favorite teachers because they don't have enough money to pay him. Grrrrr. (sniff, sniff) What if you had hunting class in your school, where you went out and caught deer? Hmmmm. Venison. Hee hee.
hypaanimuva- Sebald code is really hard. After the ringing of a bell, the coded words are ten words apart. Here's the message: As I write this I can hear the church bells ringing! Do you know about the new movie that Dr. Sebald produced? It's not as good as the one with the horrible zombies who eat children. The title is Orphans in the Elevator Shaft, and these orphans have to escape the shaft and get to the candies that will save their lives. Tell all your friends that they need to see the movie, as soon as possible. I have watched it at least five times. Guess what? Currently I've been taking care of Shelia and her water needs to be filled. Shelia, my friend's pet snake, is a pretty black color with shiny blue spots. This is my first time keeping a snake as a pet, so I'm worried that I'll mess up. Venom isn't a problem; her's has been removed. Ring, ring! It's time to stop, my alarm clock is ringing.
Leigh A. Sumpter- Glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for reviewing!
o0wallpaper0o- We have two semesters in a year and two quarters in each semester. Most electives like art are quarter classes. I've been in China for the past week and a half. Serious fanfiction deprivation. I also printed out a couple of stories to read, but it just wasn't the same. And I couldn't check my reviews for a week and a half. I looooove reviews! But at least now I can come back and read lots of reviews!
Smilies- Wow, my 100th reviewer. That makes you very special. You're going to be Klaus? How are you going to manage that? Do you have short hair? I'm probably either going to be Violet (even though I don't look anything like her) or Hermione (I look a LOT like Hermione, except I have glasses)
NewbiaTheElf- You sound like my sister so much! I call her grammer sensitive. She checks my stories most of the time, but lately we've been really busy going on vacations (I just got back from China!!) and so she usually just skims them. I stink at grammer, and used to stink at spelling. Mi speling hes imperoved im hapi two sai. Just kidding! My spelling has improved I'm happy to say. Oh well. I kinda meant that Quigley made a sketchy map of the room. I guess I didn't explain that very well. Thanks for correcting me on the dialogue punctuation. You know, nobody has ever taught me the correct way to write that sort of stuff. I mostly just guess and my sister can usually correct it for me. I like Baldie and Hookie a lot. Too bad Baldie dies. Wait, you have read Carnivorious Carnivel, right? Yeah, Nero saying like is supposed to be a joke. I love making fun of Nero. He's so stupid.
Visualpurple- I'm glad you found your commonplace book. I just got off IM with you. By the way, I forgot to tell you. My sister and I are starting a common place book on all the books and the unauthorized authbiography. We're about halfway through book one. It's fun to read through them and be picky about the details.
PrincessEilonwy- Yeah, the youngest elder is probably 70 or something. That's just a little younger then my grandpa! Hee hee. Henpecked husband!
Coffee Luv and MORT- Come on Mort! Give me an idea for my next chapter! You can do it! Hee hee.
S-Drama-Queen-17- Reese's are my favorite candy too. I really like Reese's because there are all different types: Reese's Bites, Reese's Cups, White chocolate cups, Inside out ones, Reese's Pieces, Reese's Sticks and Fastbreaks. Thanky for the compliment.
Ooga- Glad you liked it. Your name is quite...interesting. Why'd you choose it?
SakuraAngel623- What's your name mean? Glad you liked Esme and Lemony. Thanks for reviewing!
READ AND REVIEW!
HOW WOULD THE VOLUNTEERS FIGHTING DISEASE EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
The volunteers burst in the door singing "We visit people who are ill, and try to make them laugh, even when the doctor says he must saw them in half."
Then suddenly, one of the volunteers cried, "Brothers and sisters, we have a crisis on our hands!"
"What is it, sister?" A man with a guitar asked.
"We're out of heart shaped balloons!" The lady cried. "How can we sing: 'Have a heart shaped balloon', if we're all out of them?"
Everyone puzzled over this for a moment. Then the man with the guitar noticed the Reese's Cups. "We can give everyone candy!" He said. "They may not be as good at fighting disease as balloons, but I'm sure they'll help."
"But what about our song?" Asked a male volunteer. "We can't sing about heart shaped balloons if we don't have any."
"Hmmmmmm," thought the man with the guitar. "How can we change the words?" There was a long silence while the volunteers who were skilled at rhyming puzzled over this matter.
"I've got it, brothers and sisters!" Exclaimed a lady with long, brown hair.
"What?" Asked the man with the guitar.
"We could sing, Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee, hope things start looking up. Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, have a Reese's Cup!" Everyone cheered at the amazing rhyming ability of their 'sister'. Then they began singing it over and over, about fifty times so that they would have it imprinted on their skulls and would never forget it. Then, still singing, they left the room, caring the bowl of Reese's Cups.
HOW WOULD HAL EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
Hal entered the room. "Hmmmmm," he muttered, "This doesn't look the Library of Records to me. I must have entered the wrong room. My eyesight's just not what it used to be." He squinted around the room and noticed the table with the bowl on it. "Oh wait," he said to himself, "Maybe that's the bowl of fruit! I guess I'm in the library after all!"
He walked over and saw that the bowl was instead filled with something other then fruit. Something orange and brown. "What is that?" He wondered. "I can't quite make it out. It's too blurry." Hal reached for one, but missed and grabbed empty air. "Darn it!" He muttered. "I should get better glasses!"
After at least five tries, Hal finally managed to grab a candy. He fumbled with the wrapper and brought it close enough to touch his nose. "Why do they make the writing so small?" he complained. "It looks like Rights Peanut Booter Cop. Or maybe Reins Penguin Bowler Up? I don't know!" He decided, after much thought, to taste it and see what it was. "It's probably not anything dangerous." He decided. "After all, Matthias is such an organized Head of Human Resources. I'm sure he would make sure no harm came to the hospital or anyone in it."
With much struggling, Hal finally managed to rip off the orange wrapper. He almost took a bite before he realized that the black stuff was yet another paper wrapping. "How much protection does this thing need?" He wondered.
When the candy was fully unwrapped, he hesitantly took a small bite. "This is delicious!" He cried. "I really should give one to those nice kids that work for me! They look so familiar, but I just can't place it." Walking unsteadily, he left the room.
HOW WOULD BABS EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
The door of the room squeaked open and a hand reached through the door and flicked the light switch. The room was flooded with darkness. Then a female voice muttered. "Good, now nobody can see me. I'm not supposed to leave my office, since adults should be heard and not seen. Oh well. I heard there was candy in here, and I want some."
Footsteps could be heard on the carpet as someone, probably of average weight and height, walked toward the table in the middle of the room. There was a crinkling sound, as if a piece of chocolate and peanut butter candy was being unwrapped. Then a chewing sound, as if someone was chewing candy with their mouth open. Then came a contented sigh, and a voice that said, "This is delicious. I'd better take them all with me to my office. After all, I wouldn't want anyone to see me if I came back here for more."
Then more footsteps walked to the door, which opened, and closed again quickly. By the time my assistant had gotten out of his hiding place, ran to the door and looked out in the hall, the mysterious person had gone. But, after researching the incident as much as possible, I have come to the conclusion that the someone who took the Reese's Cups was Babs, former head of Human Resources. Unfortunately, Count Olaf convinced her to become a stuntwomen and throw herself off buildings before I was ever able to see her and possibly discover the secrets surrounding her, and Hemlich Hospital. For now, all I can do it continue my sad duty of recording all the things I have seen happening in the room with the bowl of Reese's Cups.
THERE'S NO WRONG WAY TO EAT A REESE'S!
REVIEWERS-
ERMonkey, Burner of Cookies- Did you have a bad baking accident with cookies or something? Why the changed name? I usually don't burn cookies, I usually burn my finger trying to get them out of the oven. Yesterday I burned holes in a plastic tray. Not good. Oh well, we have plenty of plastic trays at my house. You really are obsessed with Hector, aren't you? I like Quigley better. He's got a cool name.
chuckles-le-squish- Your SCIENCE TEACHER gave you a name like chuckles-le-squish? This is one teacher I've got to meet. The mob was fun to do. Hee hee.
Violet Baudelaire- That would be soooo cool if you had gotten the part! Then I could say, I've talked to the actress who played Violet! Oh well. How expensive is the Grim Grotto going to be? Klaus is going to be taller then Violet? That stinks! The little preview thingy didn't work on my computer. Grrrrrr. I'm five three, but that's pretty short for my age (I just turned 14!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEE!!!)
KittyWillow- I'm glad you liked the chapter. Hector is funfun. We don't have a lot of money in my school either, but they always find some to make at least some kind of yearbooks. It's soooo sad because they're firing one of my favorite teachers because they don't have enough money to pay him. Grrrrr. (sniff, sniff) What if you had hunting class in your school, where you went out and caught deer? Hmmmm. Venison. Hee hee.
hypaanimuva- Sebald code is really hard. After the ringing of a bell, the coded words are ten words apart. Here's the message: As I write this I can hear the church bells ringing! Do you know about the new movie that Dr. Sebald produced? It's not as good as the one with the horrible zombies who eat children. The title is Orphans in the Elevator Shaft, and these orphans have to escape the shaft and get to the candies that will save their lives. Tell all your friends that they need to see the movie, as soon as possible. I have watched it at least five times. Guess what? Currently I've been taking care of Shelia and her water needs to be filled. Shelia, my friend's pet snake, is a pretty black color with shiny blue spots. This is my first time keeping a snake as a pet, so I'm worried that I'll mess up. Venom isn't a problem; her's has been removed. Ring, ring! It's time to stop, my alarm clock is ringing.
Leigh A. Sumpter- Glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for reviewing!
o0wallpaper0o- We have two semesters in a year and two quarters in each semester. Most electives like art are quarter classes. I've been in China for the past week and a half. Serious fanfiction deprivation. I also printed out a couple of stories to read, but it just wasn't the same. And I couldn't check my reviews for a week and a half. I looooove reviews! But at least now I can come back and read lots of reviews!
Smilies- Wow, my 100th reviewer. That makes you very special. You're going to be Klaus? How are you going to manage that? Do you have short hair? I'm probably either going to be Violet (even though I don't look anything like her) or Hermione (I look a LOT like Hermione, except I have glasses)
NewbiaTheElf- You sound like my sister so much! I call her grammer sensitive. She checks my stories most of the time, but lately we've been really busy going on vacations (I just got back from China!!) and so she usually just skims them. I stink at grammer, and used to stink at spelling. Mi speling hes imperoved im hapi two sai. Just kidding! My spelling has improved I'm happy to say. Oh well. I kinda meant that Quigley made a sketchy map of the room. I guess I didn't explain that very well. Thanks for correcting me on the dialogue punctuation. You know, nobody has ever taught me the correct way to write that sort of stuff. I mostly just guess and my sister can usually correct it for me. I like Baldie and Hookie a lot. Too bad Baldie dies. Wait, you have read Carnivorious Carnivel, right? Yeah, Nero saying like is supposed to be a joke. I love making fun of Nero. He's so stupid.
Visualpurple- I'm glad you found your commonplace book. I just got off IM with you. By the way, I forgot to tell you. My sister and I are starting a common place book on all the books and the unauthorized authbiography. We're about halfway through book one. It's fun to read through them and be picky about the details.
PrincessEilonwy- Yeah, the youngest elder is probably 70 or something. That's just a little younger then my grandpa! Hee hee. Henpecked husband!
Coffee Luv and MORT- Come on Mort! Give me an idea for my next chapter! You can do it! Hee hee.
S-Drama-Queen-17- Reese's are my favorite candy too. I really like Reese's because there are all different types: Reese's Bites, Reese's Cups, White chocolate cups, Inside out ones, Reese's Pieces, Reese's Sticks and Fastbreaks. Thanky for the compliment.
Ooga- Glad you liked it. Your name is quite...interesting. Why'd you choose it?
SakuraAngel623- What's your name mean? Glad you liked Esme and Lemony. Thanks for reviewing!
READ AND REVIEW!