Disclaimer: Must I say it again? I do not own Twilight or it's characters, nor do I profit off of them.

The next two days pass without interference from Edward or his family, though they wreak havoc in my mind. I dart between painfully sad that Edward isn't here, to disbelief I sent him away, to angry that he thought it was okay to leave, excited he have back, to disbelief that this is all happening. Even as a vampire I was getting overwhelmed by the random fluctuations in my thoughts and emotions.

I shake my head to clear it, focusing instead on the elk below me, ensuring I land just right so I can snap its neck and feed with minimal mess. I succeed, and I am immensely satisfied with myself momentarily before the bloodlust blacks out everything else.

I don't even notice the figure racing towards me until it is already too late.

"Bella!" Alice shouts as she leaps over my kill- ignoring my warning growls- and tackled me to the ground in her excitement. "Oh, Bella, I've missed you so much! You look stunning as a vampire; my visions didn't do you justice. I can't wait to dress you up- oof!"

I spin us around while she's busy talking, pinning her to the ground and growling deep in my chest. Before she can fight back, I leap off of her, grabbing my half-drained meal and moving nearly fifty feet away. My eyes are glued on her as my lips find purchase on the beast's throat, my growls mixing with purrs as I begin to feed again. I take my time finishing off the elk, ensuring I consume every last drop before I set it down.

"Sorry I interrupted your meal, I was just so excited to see you," she explains, slowly walking closer to me.

I stand, brushing off the leaves and dirt that stick to my clothes. I notice a fairly large streak of blood on my shirt, and I grumble, knowing the stain won't come out the next time I wash it in the river. "Didn't Edward tell you I wanted some space?" I growl.

Alice's eyes grow wide in shock. "Surely you didn't mean me as well, did you? I'm your best friend!"

"I meant everyone, Alice. It wasn't just Edward that left, you all did, and you left without saying anything," I explain. "As far as I knew, our friendship was over the moment you decided to leave."

Even her spiky black hair seems to droop with the weight of my words. "All I need is some time and space, please respect that. You'll get a vision when I'm ready anyways."

Alice shakes her head, a confused glint in her honey-colored eyes. "I can only see you when you're hunting, it's like you're blocking me somehow."

"I'm not doing it intentionally," I apologize, watching her as she uneasily fidgets with the dainty bracelets on her small wrists. "Which direction is the house in?"

She looks at me with hope. "We aren't that far away, actually. Just a little east-" she points to the right slightly behind her "-for a few miles and you're practically in our back yard."

I nod, watching the leaves ruffle in the slight breeze and notice the thinning cloud cover. Anxiety twists my stomach; I really don't want to be caught in the sun. "Sounds great, Alice. I'll come over when I'm ready to talk." Without waiting for her response, I quickly turn around and run, racing against the sunlight trying to break though Forks' gloom.

I make it to the safety of my cave just as the first few rays of sunshine hits the treetops. I settle into the far back corner and almost immediately reach into the largest duffle bag, grabbing the well-worn shirt and holding it up to my nose… his scent was still on it, though it was fading slowly, day by day.

The hours pass slowly with nothing to do. I attempt reading a time or two, but I've read my books twice already, and with a vampire's brain, I remember every word. Now I know why Edward was so perplexed when I told him I enjoyed rereading books- I no longer discover something new each time I reread a book.

When night finally falls, I sit in the small opening to the cave, my legs dangling over the precipice. As always, I am fascinated by the night sky. I grew up in the city and never saw much of the stars, and the few times I went camping with my father, I was too miserable to care for them. With my human eyes they were nothing but little white dots in an otherwise black sky. But now, I see so much more. I see the depth in the stars, how the ones closest to earth shine brighter than the other, farther stars. I can see the variance in colors I had never seen before- blues, pinks, purples, and greens. I now see past the flat darkness I knew as night, and I am amazed by the deepest navies and densest of eggplant purples that make up the night sky. I can even see planets, but the only one I can recognize is Saturn because of the beautiful set of rings. At least a few times a night I can see meteors pass by in the distance, and they remind me of what Edward said.

I am never bored of the night, the stars are always different, the planets would shift- sometimes so much so that I'll spend hours at a time trying to find them all.

His scent on my shirt disappears completely on the evening of the third day. It had been impossibly sunny since I saw Alice and since I refuse to see myself in the sun, I've been holed up in my cave, only coming out at night.

I'm anxious without his scent, it had grown comforting since the day I found him in the cave. It proved he was here and that what happened was real. He still loved me; he had always loved me. And I have always loved him, and despite what he thought, I loved him just as deeply when I was human- my becoming a vampire didn't change anything.

When the sun settled behind the mountains and the world around me is dunked in darkness, I jump to the forest floor and begin to walk around.

Could I ever trust him again? My mortality was the main issue we argued about- ultimately the reason why he left. Is that issue suddenly gone now that I am a vampire? Or would he eventually revert back to his old ways of deciding what was best for me, my thoughts on the matter be damned?

I come to a stop in the place where I ran into Alice- or more accurately she ran into me. Off to the left is a bare patch of soil, someone had buried the kill I left behind. I inhale deeply, catching the strong smell of an unfamiliar vampire. On alert, I examine my surroundings, finding nothing.

Then somebody jumps out of the tree behind me. I whirl around with a loud hiss.

"You forgot to look up," the vampire drawls. The scars on his arms, face, neck- everywhere, are nearly indecipherable from one another, they are so heavily layered, and it sets me on edge. Now I understand why Edward told me that most vampires feel uneasy at first sight with Jasper, before he uses his gift to take the edge off. "Whenever you come across a strange scent, especially as a nomad, always look up in the trees- other vampires are probably using the height to their advantage. It would have been easy to attack you from above and you would stand no chance of winning."

"I'll remember that," I say slowly, trying to calm myself down. I never thought about being a nomad, I haven't thought much about what I should do with myself besides staying away from people. It seems odd now that I never gave it much thought. "Were you waiting for me?"

Jasper nods. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior on your birthday. It was inexcusable, I was well-fed and all you had was a small papercut. I blame myself for everything that has followed since. I am truly, very sorry, Bella."

He blames himself? "Jasper," I start, "I don't blame you for what happened that night, or the following events for that matter. You weren't just dealing with your reaction to my blood, but six other vampires as well- one of which was Edward. I don't blame you for your family leaving Forks, I think Edward would have found one reason or another to leave me eventually. He was so determined to keep me human, to give me a chance for a normal human life as he puts it, even if the opportunity was forced on me."

To my relief, the blond vampire smiles, visibly relaxing slightly. "Thank you, Bella, you don't know how desperately I've been wanting to apologize. And Edward-"

"Was only doing what he thought was right, I know, I've heard," I interrupt, fighting the urge to roll my eyes.

"Leaving you hurt him just as much as it hurt you. I understand that must be hard to believe given what he told you when he left, but I was at the house when he returned after saying goodbye… I have only ever felt that kind of pain once before, when my old coven made a vampire watch as we destroyed her mate." Jasper's eyes grow distant as he is absorbed in his memories. "It is an… excruciating pain. Debilitating, as I am sure you know as I've no doubt you also experienced it. Most vampires seek their own destruction after the loss of their mate. The fact that you both survived proves how strong you are- especially you, as you were human at the time."

"I don't know how I could ever trust him again," I reply softly, painfully. It hurt knowing he was in pain, knowing my declaration of needing space is the cause of it. "If he ever decides to leave me again… I couldn't survive it."

Jasper sighs, "neither would he."

A/N: I'll be honest, Jasper wasn't the one who was waiting for her, but he really wanted to apologize.

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