1. Looking Back
It was a gorgeous in Besaid Village on this night. I sighed as I sat on the edge of the dock and watched the sunset and heard the waves crash against the shore. Everything was just so still, so peaceful, so calm. I felt kind of bad bailing on a party that was created partially on my behalf, but I needed some time to sit down and think. I have changed so much, I grew up a lot. I wasn't the little girl who wanted to save Spira from Sin anymore—mainly because I did save Spira. It has been two years since I destroyed Sin, and I am still here to tell the tale. Every other summoner before myself traveled on their pilgrimage to Zanarkand and never returned. Their sacrifice brought the Calm, but they weren't alive to see it. I will never forget my pilgrimage, I will never forget the guardians who stood by my side and did everything in their power to protect me. It was the seven of us traveling through Spira, Wakka, Lulu, Rikku, Auron, Kimahri, myself and Tidus, the mysterious blitzball player from Zanarkand.
In the beginning of my pilgrimage, Wakka introduced me to a young man named Tidus. He was 17, like myself at that time, and he was a blitzball player from Zanarkand. So the first question that came to my mind was, "blitzball in Zanarkand?" Zanarkand was destroyed 1000 years ago by Sin after a huge machina war between Zanarkand and Bevelle, so how was there any form of life there? He was just as confused as I was so Wakka kind of took him under his wing to help him find out where he came from and maybe find some answers to his questions. As he and I were talking one day, we came to the realization that Tidus' father, Jecht, was also one of my father's guardians. So obviously, Jecht came to Spira in the same way that Tidus did, so we tried to find Tidus a way back to his Zanarkand. He eventually became one of my guardians once he had some experience fighting fiends and protecting me. On the way to Zanarkand, he and I grew strong feelings for one another. I always thought that was very good looking, but I didn't want to get attached because of the fact that once I arrived at Zanarkand, I would die. I didn't want to do that to him...that would be selfish. Once we arrived at Macalania Woods, he and I had a romantic evening of kissing in the middle of the south spring. It was perhaps the most beautiful moment of my life. However, it was a long time from then when I learned the truth about him...
My pilgrimage was a long one, as I imagine it was for many summoners. Going to every temple in the name of Yevon to achieve every aeon was a very lengthy trip with a lot of walking. In that trip, my guardians and I learned the real face of Yevon. Yevon was full of liars and unsent people who basically supported the fact that summoners sacrificed themselves for a Calm that only lasted a few years. Luckily, my father's Calm lasted ten years, but I lost my father. Ten years of a Calm could never replace the fact that my father is dead, and he won't come back to me. My mother died when I was very young, and my father died when I was seven. I felt so alone until Kimahri found me and took me to Besaid, where I grew up in the temple's care. Growing up in the temple made me learn in the way of Yevon, so that's all I believed in. Yevon taught me that a summoner traveled to Zanarkand, the city of the dead, to achieve the Final Aeon. Once the Final Aeon was achieved, the Final Aeon would kill me to use my power to defeat Sin. I knew that I would die by becoming a summoner, yet I live for the people of Spira and my death would've brought people peace. They would've been able to sleep in their beds without fear, and even if it was only for a little while, that time was worth anything. However, learning the truth of Yevon destroyed me inside, mainly because it made everything that I learned as I was growing up fruitless.
The main thing that was different from other summoners and myself was that I destroyed Sin without the Final Aeon, and Sin would never return. I had brought the Eternal Calm to Spira, and I hoped that it would stay for good. However, in that final battle, there were many losses. Sir Auron, a man who was my father's guardian and also mine, was actually unsent, and I sent him to the Farplane. He was a brilliant man who helped me out a lot, and I hope that defeating Sin was my way to say thank you to him. Also, another one of my guardians, Tidus...Star player of the Zanarkand Abes...turned out to be only a dream. He lived in a dreamworld of Zanarkand, and the fayth based everyone in that dream off of people who once lived in the Zanarkand from Spira. Yeah, those lazy bastards decided then that they were tired of dreaming and he started to fade away. I didn't know that he would disappear until after the final battle...I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my entire life. He meant everything to me...he was the first man I had ever loved...and I never was able to tell him......
Two years later, Rikku came up to me to show me a sphere that Kimahri found on Mt. Gagazet that had a man who looked exactly like my Tidus. I quickly left Besaid without saying a word, (also leaving the newly weds....Wakka and Lulu...I saw that one coming) causing quite a fuss according to Wakka. I quickly changed my look into something a little more provocative (but hey, it was comfortable) and went to look for more spheres with Tidus in it. On my journey however, I found out that the man in the sphere was a young man named Shuyin who was looking for his summoner girlfriend, Lenne. Much like Tidus, Shuyin was willing to do anything to save Lenne from her death...but it didn't end well. They were killed...before they were able to express their feelings for each other. I can't say, "Well, what the hell were they waiting for?" because I never expressed my feelings for Tidus while I had the chance. So that just evolved into me going into the dressphere of Lenne, singing (yeah...me singing!!), and pretty much becoming connected to Lenne. So the big showdown was actually today. Rikku, Paine, and I met up with some of Paine's friends in the Farplane to work out our plan. We were going to take apart Vegnagun (The big huge machina that Shuyin was going to use to vaporize Spira) and then I was going to bring Lenne's feelings to Shuyin, hoping that he would be content enough to go to the Farplane and stop wandering in pain. Well, of course things never really work out the way that I want them to, so Shuyin realized that it was me talking to him and not Lenne, so he got all pissed off and started to attack Rikku, Paine and I. After beating him up, (and that was very difficult for me to do because of the resemblance that he had to Tidus...the way he moved...the way he talked...everything...) Lenne pretty much came out of my body and they turned into pyreflies and were sent to the Farplane. Yeah, it made me feel good about myself because I saved the world once again and I made Shuyin and Lenne eternally happy, I felt lonely. Lenne had her Shuyin...but where was my Tidus? Walking out of the Farplane, the fayth from Bevelle thanked me for saving Spira once again. Then he basically asked me if I wanted to see Tidus again. What was I going to say, no? That things were better this way??? Yeah right! Of course I told the fayth that I wanted to see him again...and when I reached Besaid...there he was. I couldn't jump off the airship fast enough...as a matter of fact, the airship didn't stop before I hopped off the exit ramp. Hugging him brought me tears of happiness...and I had to ask him if he was real. Just being with him again was the most magnificent feeling ever. Being in his arms, it just felt so right....
So that leads to today. The party that I abandoned was the welcome home party for Tidus and I. Okay, it's not that I abandoned the party...like I said, I just needed to think. I needed to reflect on what was happening at this point in time...and I couldn't lose him again. When Tidus and I went to Zanarkand earlier today, he mentioned the fact that he might still be a dream...and I can't let that happen. Then he said that we just need to cherish each other...but then I found out that even if I don't cherish him he won't disappear, (I pushed him off the cliff into a pool, it was rather entertaining) I realized that I would cherish him for the rest of my life. With these thoughts, I took a sip from the glass of wine that I was holding when I heard footsteps behind me.