Bit of J/D hints, but not much.
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but Mommy, Mommy, they followed me home, can I keep 'em?!
Thanks for reading!
-AEM
"Donna! I'm going to the Hill!" called Josh from his office as he was trying to locate the files he would need from the piles of files messily arranged on his desk.Donna entered the office holding a blue file folder. She threw it in front of Josh "Here's the thing you need"
Josh looked up at her "Okay, Donna, the first time it was cute, now it's just kinda annoying,"
"Now you know how I feel," and with that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the office.
Josh looked from the retreating back of Donna to the file she had brought. He picked up the file to study it closer, then jammed it into his bag. He darted around his desk and went into the bullpen to find his assistant.
"Donna," he addressed, finding her at her desk.
She stood up and, taking the file she had been looking at, went to put it in one of the file cabinets "I already got you the file you wanted"
"That's just the thing..." Donna looked at him "...no pun intended..." Josh quickly added "...I don't see why you're getting all upset about this. You have some magic intuition that makes you know exactly what I mean when I refer to 'the thing', so it's not like it slows your work down or anything."
"That's true, Josh, but it's just the spirit of the thing..." Josh looked at her "...no pun intended...it's like you're almost abusing my powers as your assistant. You're assuming I will always know what you mean, but one day, I might not."
"I don't think so, look what you just did. I didn't even ask you for anything, but you knew exactly what I needed. It's almost like we have some freakish connection or something. You know, you said something when you were trying to worm into the campaign about being an asset. You are."
Donna smiled at what her boss had just said to her "I never saw it like that,"
"You wouldn't" was his response.
"And though you probably just said that to stop me from saying 'the thing' all day, that meant a lot to me, Josh, thank you."
"No problem. Honestly, I didn't think of that, but, hey, something good came from what I said"
"Hey, watch it, buddy, I could go back to saying 'the thing'." warned Donna
"But you wouldn't" Josh smiled and began to walk back to his office.
"I wouldn't" Donna said quietly to herself as she watched Josh go.
Josh entered his office to find Toby perched on the corner of his desk "You ready to go, yet?" Toby asked, impatiently.
"Yep" Josh answered and grabbed his bag. Toby left Josh's office, with Josh on his heels. He slammed the office door closed behind him "Donna! I'm going!" he yelled to his assistant.
"See you!" she yelled back.
Soon, Toby and Josh were out of the west wing and walking through the lobby once again.
"So how are we getting there?" Josh asked
Toby looked at him "We're walking, Josh..." he remarked sarcastically "we're driving, you idiot."
"Hey, it was an honest question," protested Josh, with a grin.
"It's still none of your business!" yelled CJ as she walked by on her way to her briefing with Carol, getting laughs from Toby and Josh
"We're taking my car" added Toby
"Why your car?" questioned Josh
"Um...I don't have a reason, so because I said so"
"Okay" Josh grinned.
A few hours later, Josh and Toby emerged from the Capitol Building. Unlike a few hours ago, neither were smiling or in a bantering mood.
"Well, that didn't go well" Josh murmured, breaking the silence that had been between them since the end of their last meeting.
"If that's not the understatement of the year..." Toby muttered darkly.
"What are we gonna do?" Josh asked
"I don't want to go back to the Leo and the President with that information"
"Neither do I, but what choice do we have?"
"We should call Leo; see if we can get some more meetings with the Republicans.
"Yeah, good idea. Damned Speaker...he said he'd be the ones doing this" Josh complained under his breath. He shook his unruly brown head "Whatever. Let's get some lunch"
"Okay. I could really go for pie right about now"
Josh and Toby got into the latter's car and Toby began driving while Josh called Leo. Josh shut his cell phone a minute later.
"Did you get the meetings?" Toby asked anxiously
"Yeah. Leo wasn't too happy, but he agreed we couldn't go to the President on what we found, so he knew we have to."
"Who are we meeting with?"
"I dunno, he said he would set some stuff up, then call back"
They arrived at the restaurant a few minutes later. Their waitress waited on them almost immediately "What'll ya have?"
Josh pondered the menu "Ah...BLT on wheat, American cheese and a Jack Daniels"
Toby raised his eyebrows "Jack Daniels when we have meetings after?"
Josh smirked and pulled something out of his pocket "Only one, my friend and...Tic Tacs" he waved the small container at Toby, who nodded his approval.
"What about you?" the waitress addressed Toby now
"I'll have a Jack Daniels too and a slice of pie"
"What kind?"
"Who cares?" Toby grabbed Josh's menu out of his hands, gave both to the waitress, and waved her away.
"Pie?" questioned Josh, with a grin "I thought you only needed pie to write."
"Helps me think too"
Josh grinned broadly "How could I forget I'm eating with the pie fiend of DC and Brooklyn."
Toby smirked as a response and glanced up as the door to the restaurant opened to admit a man and a woman and his smirk slowly fell off his face. "Josh..." he mumbled "...don't be too obvious, but look at the people who just came in to the restaurant."
Josh, whose back was to the couple, quickly glanced over his shoulder, then quickly glanced back. His eyes fell on Toby, who was looking at him, unamused "Oh, because that wasn't obvious at all." Toby remarked sarcastically.
"Who was it? I was too busy trying not to stare obviously."
"Ben." answered Toby
"Ben? Ben who?"
"Ben who?! CJ's Ben!" Toby yelled exasperatedly.
Josh casually turned to the side and leaned on the wall of the booth to look more closely at the couple "Oh yeah, you're right, it is Ben. Wonder who the lady is?" he pondered
"God, isn't it obvious, Josh, he's probably cheating on CJ..."
"Come on, Toby, you're jumping to conclusions," interrupted Josh "She's probably a business partner or someth..." Josh trailed off as they watched Ben lean over and kiss the woman passionately "...or not..."
"What. The. Hell." proclaimed Toby, defensively.
Just then, the waitress came back with their order and Josh, suddenly overcome with an idea, leaned over and confidentially asked the waitress "'Excuse me, have you ever seen those two people before?" he unobtrusively gestured to Ben and his companion.
"Yeah, they come in all the time" the waitress set a piece of apple pie in front of Toby.
Usually the sight of pie brought Toby back to his usual level of happiness, but this time, it didn't even bring a smile to his face. Falling into Josh's idea, he too leaned over and continued "Who are they?"
"Um...only know first names. Ben and Lisa. They're usually in my section. Just last week he proposed to her right here and I was their waitress." She bragged. "Gorgeous ring."
Josh had to really work hard to stop the surprise from showing on his face as Toby struggled to restrain the urge to go over and punch Ben out right then and there with the announcement of the marriage of Ben and Lisa.
"Okay. Thanks a lot." Josh tried to grin and the waitress, having been putting their order down as the conversation went on, left the table.
The two were silent as they struggled with their reactions to this news. Toby broke the silence soon, however "Okay, if he's getting married, then what the HELL is CJ!" His voice rose to the loudest it could possibly get without anyone overhearing
"The last conquest before marriage?" Josh replied, bitterly
"And what the hell's with this whole moving in thing?"
"Hell if I know." Answered Josh and Toby snorted in reply "I'm gonna kill him." Josh mumbled and stood up.
"Not if I get there first." breathed Toby, angrily, standing up as he spoke.
The two stormed over to where Ben and Lisa were sitting.
"Ben..." Josh said quietly, trying not to let all the anger that was in him show in his voice.
Ben looked up at Josh and Toby, quickly glanced from his soon-to-be-betrothed, back to Josh and Toby. His face paled "Oh hey Josh, Toby," he said nervously "Funny meeting you guys here. This is..." but he was cut off as Toby punched him.
"Hey!" exclaimed Lisa as all other actions in the diner stopped.
Josh and Toby quickly glanced at each other and the rest of the diner "Outside." Josh mumbled, his lips barely moving
"Yeah" Toby agreed and dragged Ben outside by his shirt collar, Lisa and Josh on their heels.
"Okay, I wanna know who you guys are and why the hell you're beating up my fiancee!" yelled Lisa as soon as they got outside.
Toby ignored her and instead pushed Ben into the side of the diner and pinned him there so he couldn't move "Oh, fiancee...that's interesting, because last I checked, you were dating CJ Cregg!" he yelled, his voice rising with every word
Lisa gasped and looked from Toby to Ben "What?!"
"Um..." Ben started nervously
"Oh, did we spoil your fun?" Josh asked with fake innocence in his voice
"You're dating another woman?! And the Press Secretary for the White House at that?!" Lisa asked, shocked
"Let me explain..." stuttered Ben
"Argh! Explain this!" she wrenched her engagement ring off her finger and threw it at the currently pinned down Ben and ran off
"Aww...gee...that's too bad..." Josh remarked sarcastically, watching her go "Guess you're not getting married anymore..."
"And if you're even thinking 'At least I've still got CJ, think again'" snorted Toby, pushing Ben harder against the wall
"I...I...wasn't...honest!" Ben said quickly
"Good, 'cause you don't have CJ" added Josh "And she's gonna know it..."
"...wha...what do you mean?" Ben looked from Toby to Josh
"He means that you're going to tell CJ what you've been up to" translated Toby
"Wha...um...no I'm not" Ben said, trying to show Toby and Josh he wasn't afraid of them, which, of course, he was.
"Yes you are" predicted Toby
"If you like breathing" chimed in Josh
"What?" asked a confused Ben
"Okay, listen 'cause we're only gonna say this once," said Josh "We're gonna make you a deal, which is a dammed lot more than you deserve, let me tell you. You," he stressed the word 'you' "are going to tell CJ that you were cheating."
"In return," Toby picked up "you will get to live, though you don't deserve it and I'd really like to kill you here and now"
"Well, at least for now, 'cause CJ's likely to want to kill you herself when she finds out." Josh said brightly
Ben was silent at this, suddenly unsure whether he was more scared of Josh and Toby killing him or CJ.
"The catch," Toby said "is you have until then end of the day, then we tell her"
"Then, she'll come find you to kill you," added Josh, even more brightly than before.
"Wait, what's the point of this?" asked Ben "Why are you doing this?"
"Because," answered Toby "Us telling her is the easy way out"
"And, technically speaking, this isn't any of our business, excepting the fact CJ's our friend and it'd be better if she heard it from you than from us. Then, she'll only want to kill you for cheating instead of both cheating and cowardice" added Josh
"So...you're trying to help me?" Ben asked, confusedly
"And it'll make you look like a fool" stated Toby
"Okay"
"Well, I guess that's it, then." mused Josh "Toby, drop him"
Toby let go of Ben's collar, but still kept him pinned against the wall "Remember, you hafta tell her by the end of the day or we do"
"Right."
"Wait, I've got one more thing" said Josh "Toby, move"
Toby stepped to the right from in front of Ben and Josh moved to take his place. He stepped back a little and threw a punch, which landed neatly on Ben's right eye, matching the one Toby gave him on the left. Josh glanced over at Toby, who raised his eyebrows at him
"It was my turn" Josh said innocently and Toby grinned. Josh stepped over near Toby to let Ben go.
Now that Ben was gone, along with the fun of torturing him, all the two men were left with was the fact that Ben had hurt their friend. They stood, staring at each other, not quite sure what to do.
"We never ate" Josh said, breaking the silence
"I'm not hungry anymore" mumbled Toby
"Yeah, me too" Josh realized.
As if an unspoken agreement, the two men both headed to Toby's car, leaving the diner behind. They sat in the car, but Toby broke the silence a minute later
"How're gonna know if he calls or not. We're gonna be on the Hill all afternoon, then with Leo and the President and we can't really just go up and ask her 'So, CJ, did you find out your boyfriend's cheating on you yet?'"
"Umm..." Josh thought "we need a spy. Someone who we can tell about all this, but won't tell her and can hang around CJ's office without her wondering why. Carol's definitely out. She would tell her. But who then?"
"Charlie" Toby said immediately
"Oh yeah, he has time for something like this" Josh rolled his eyes "How 'bout Will?"
"No."
"Why?"
"No."
"Okay...You got a problem with Donna?"
Toby glared at Josh as a response. Josh stared back and picked up his cell phone to dial his office number.
"Josh Lyman's office" Donna picked up a few minutes later
"Hey, it's Josh Lyman"
"Hey Josh, how's your thing going?"
"I thought you weren't doing that anymore"
"How's it going?"
"Lousy, but that's not why I called. First off, is CJ anywhere near you at this moment?"
"No, why?"
"We'll get to that in a minute. Go into my office and close the door. Talk to me from there"
"Okay..."
"And get Ryan to hang up your phone when you get to my office. Stand at the door and make sure he does it. You know how he gets sometimes"
"Okay...Josh, what's going on?"
"Tell ya in a minute. Just do it"
A few minutes later, Donna spoke "Okay, Ryan's hung up and I'm in your office. What's going on?"
Josh told her about what had happened at the diner. Donna gasped "That jackass!"
"Yeah. That's about what we said. Listen, Donna, I need you to do me a little favor..." Josh told her the plan he and Toby had made up "Will you do it?" he finished
"Of course. But how am I gonna get into CJ's office? How will they not question why I'm in there?"
"Improvise. Think of something, you always do. Say you've gotten bored without me all day or something" Josh joked and Donna laughed, all the while thinking that it had been a rather boring day without Josh. "Okay, Donna, I gotta go" Josh said, eyeing Toby's phone as it began to ring, which Josh assumed was Leo calling
"Okay. When are you getting back?"
"I dunno. Toby and I will come find you when we get back. Stay in CJ's office until we get back. Leave Ryan in charge, but make sure he doesn't do anything stupid"
"Got it. Bye"
"See ya" Josh closed his phone and turned to Toby, who was ending his own call "Who're we talking to?"
"The Speaker of the House. Find out why he's not doing what he said he was gonna do"
"Well, that just makes my day a whole lot better..." Josh remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.