#3 JAJL
James sighed in abject dejection as he and Jesse soared through the air once again, the land below them becoming smaller and smaller, and a nest of Beedrill on a random deserted island growing nearer and nearer. His eyes welled with tears as he thought about how he couldn't protect his sweet, darling, beloved Jesse from the hideous onslaught of a thousand stings that they were fated to receive. If only he could take them all, and she could sit in a tiny bikini on the beach, sipping a Cosmopolitan, her white milky skin shining in the sun, her fragile spirit unexposed to the horrors of being blasted off constantly.
James wallowed in his red hot burning man desire to tell Jesse of his feelings—the feelings he had harbored ever since he laid eyes on the stunning red haired beauty before him—ever since that day when he told all the other Team Rocket members to shut up as they mercilessly chanted "fire crotch" at her—poor Jesse.
They finally landed in the tree after what seemed like hours. They began to run from the Beedrill, but could not run faster than the hideous flying pokemon. Jesse tripped over a rock and fell, and James turned around to stand in front of her.
"I will protect you!" James yelled, and stood with his arms in front of him, in front of Jesse, not allowing the Beedrill to ravage her.
James stood bravely, not faltering as his rippling muscles were torn apart by the Beedrill's razor sharp stingers. As he fell, the Beedrill got bored and went off to make some honey—but it was too late for poor James. Blood dripped from holes all over his body, and a single tendril of blood leaked from his soft, coral lips.
"Noooo!" Jesse shouted, as she lifted James into her arms, pressing her lips to his. "I should have told you that I loved you before this happened! I should have expressed my feelings to you—oh all the times I've tried, oh all the times I got near you yet was unable to articulate my thoughts which ran thick with all the love a girl could harbor—oh why couldn't it be me to die!"
"Jesse, I'm still alive—hospital—please—" James coughed.
"WHYYYYYYYYYY!" Jesse screamed, pumping her fists in the air, tears streaming down her face. "WHY JAMES, WHY!!!!"
"Jesse, I love you too, please, I see a pokecenter over there, get help—"
"Oh James! What will I ever do without you? Oh if I could only we could have left Team Rocket, gotten real jobs, borne beautiful children, led wonderful lives—"
James looked up into the azure, innocent, large, shimmering, dewy, tear-filled eyes of Jesse and grasped her hand one last time before his painful death. "If only I actually was gay. Goodbye."
Upon James' last soulful breath, Jesse ran and ran and ran, without stopping. She was soon tragically hit by a car. And also tragically, they could never be together in the afterlife, because James went to heaven and Jesse went to hell. But James vowed to rescue Jesse from hell, and made a difficult journey into Satan's bowels, battled and defeated him, and then ruled hell himself, turning it into a shopping mall for the damned. Thus Jesse and James lived happily in hell with all sorts of demons at their command.