I'm sorry that it's been awhile. Those of you who have reviewed seem pretty miffed. Please accept my humble offering. The idea hit me last night. Enjoy!
Standard disclaimers apply
Chapter 3Kaoru stirred, slowly opening her eyes. It was hopeless. She was not going to be falling asleep anytime soon. She rolled to her back, and then brushed her hair to one side of her head with her hand. She gazed up at the wooden ceiling of her bedroom. She sighed. It was time to face her demons.
She had another dream that woke her up. It had nothing to do with Kaoru meeting Battousai as a child. It had nothing to do with her as an infant. In this dream, Kaoru was actually going to marry Kenshin. It was the day of their wedding. Kaoru, dressed in her wedding kimono, was roaming the halls looking for her groom.
"Kenshin? Kenshin…where are you?"
Kaoru slid open a shoji and jumped back in surprise. There was Kenshin, her groom, under the blankets of his futon. He seemed to be naked, and Megumi was next to him.
"Kenshin! Wha…wha…" Kaoru trembled.
"I think it is time for you to go, Kaoru," said Megumi, brushing a strand of damp hair from her eyes."But…what…what's happening, Kenshin?" asked Kaoru, tears welling up in her eyes.
"I do not think you would understand, Kaoru," Kenshin replied calmly, pulling the blankets up to his chest.
"N-nani?"
Megumi laughed softly. "Perhaps we shall explain it when you're older, dear. For now, you should play outside. Ken-san has needs that I should attend to…"She raised her eyebrows coyly.
Kaoru backed to the door. "But…but…I…I thought…"
"Foolish girl!" Megumi burst into laughter. "Did you honestly think that you could do anything for him? Did you actually think he'd want you?" She fell back to the futon, laughing. "Honestly, Kaoru-chan, you are but a child. Maybe you should go back to your dolls and return when you've…" she chuckled, "…grown into your top!" Megumi roared with a maniacal laughter.
"You should leave us," Kenshin said quietly. Kaoru felt tears stream down her cheeks. "I just need a woman…"he murmured, laying back down with Megumi.
Kaoru turned and ran out the door, sobbing. She could hear Megumi's laughter echoing behind her.
Kaoru rubbed her eyes with her fists. It almost startled her how real her dream was. She felt her eyes moisten. "This is ridiculous…" she said to herself. She understood that it was just a dream, but it did reawaken the dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach she had spent the last week ignoring. The anxiety she felt concerning her youth compared to Kenshin was back and stronger than before. Perhaps she should stop ignoring it.
Kaoru gazed at the light streaming in from the window. It was well past midnight now. Happy birthday to me, she thought. "Does this still make me a child?" she wondered aloud.
Not only did Kenshin flat out reject her in this dream, he had replaced her. Worse yet, he replaced her with Megumi. Kaoru let a lone tear slid down and drop onto the blanket. She really had no idea how Kenshin truly felt about Megumi. She knew that her forward nature made Kenshin uneasy, but that did not stop the possibility of stronger feelings. After all, there was no question that Megumi was a woman. She was older, smarter, more refined, and even more beautiful. Kaoru sighed. Compared to Megumi, Kaoru was just a child after all. Her dream was right.
Kaoru could not stop crying once she began. She lay in her bed and sobbed for several minutes. What could she do to prove to Kenshin that she was not just a little girl? Nothing. She was young, she was reckless, she was pretty unrefined. All that she could do was step back and let Kenshin have Megumi, or whichever woman he found.
Kaoru wiped her tears away. She put her hand on her stomach. I don't feel well…
She slowly sat up. Did she cry herself to the point of illness? Her eyes darted around the room. She could not tell if she was going to be sick or not. She could be imagining things. Then again, she was very upset and had been for a week. She rose to her feet. "Oh no…"she muttered.
She slipped on some blankets as she ran to her door. She threw it open and dashed down the hall. She put her hand to her mouth. She was not going to make it.
Kaoru rounded the corner and sped to the porch. She hit it, gripped the rail, and unleashed herself over the edge of the banister. I've actually worried myself sick… she thought sadly as she retched. She felt miserable.
As she leaned over the rail, she was surprised to feel gentle hands pulling her hair from her face. Someone had discovered her. It's Kenshin…Kaoru knew. How will I explain this one? Her mind could not think of an excuse. She coughed again, and loosened her hold on the rail. She slowly stood up, not wanting to face the rurouni behind her. She did not want him to think that she could not handle herself. She most definitely did not want him knowing what brought her to the point of sickness. She closed her eyes. She felt the presence behind her shift.
"You alright, Jou-chan?"
Kaoru froze. She whirled around to see, not Kenshin, but Sanosuke holding her raven locks in his hands and a worried expression on his sleepy face.
"Sano!" she said, standing up and trying to catch her breath. "What…what are you doing here?"
"Wild night," he said with a wink. He released her hair and laid his hand on her shoulder. "You finished? Or should we stay here for a bit longer?"
Kaoru shook her head. "I'm done. I'm just…" Sanosuke looked at her with suspicion. "I'm just stressed. Domo, but…"
Sanosuke slipped his hand under her elbow. "C'mon, Jou-chan. Let's clean you up, ne?" He led her away from the banister. "Some tea'll do you good right now, and I've got a bucket of water all ready." Kaoru said nothing. She allowed herself to be escorted toward the kitchen. She tried to think of an explanation for her midnight rendezvous with her dinner, but failed. She was relieved, though, that she would not have to face Kenshin for a while yet.
Kaoru rinsed the water around her mouth and spit it out for the last time. The foul taste was finally gone. She sighed and turned back into the kitchen. She placed the bucket of water on the floor and sat down. Sanosuke walked over and handed her a cup.
"Better?" he asked. She nodded. "Drink that, it'll make the taste go away. Believe me, I've had three cups already tonight. Works…" he smiled and leaned back against the wall. Kaoru nodded a thank you and began to sip the tea. It tasted soothing to her roaring insides. Her head was starting to ache. She sighed again.
"So, why'd you spill your guts, quite literally, into the bushes tonight? You're not knocked up, are ya?" Sanosuke said with a chuckle.
Kaoru was horrified. "Nani?"
He chuckled again. "Joking, Jou-chan. Calm down." He waved his hands in defeat.
Kaoru composed herself. "More importantly, Sano, why are you in my house, making my tea, in the dead of the night?" she asked, growing annoyed.
"I just needed a place to crash without worrying 'bout getting sprung on." Kaoru looked confused. "Too much sake, too much betting, pissed some people off…basically, I'm in no state to fend off jackasses, and they wouldn't follow me here." Kaoru noticed for the first time that Sanosuke was drunk, or at least had been pretty badly at one point in the night. His cheeks were fairly pink and he had a glassy look in his eyes and a goofy grin on his face. "You know," he continued, "I was going to apologize for the…ah…misuse of your bushes, but I'm thinking it's ok since you used 'em, too."
"How long have you been here?" Kaoru asked. Sanosuke shrugged.
"Long enough to clean up and crash on the porch. I dunno."
Kaoru smiled. "And to drink three cups of tea." Sanosuke burped. Kaoru snickered.
"Needed to get the sake taste out somehow…" He shifted his weight. "Now then, we've talked enough about me. What are you doing with the bushes? You sick or something?"
Kaoru looked down at her teacup. "Hey, is there something going on? You were fine earlier today." What to do now? She was hoping to avoid this discussion, but Sanosuke was sober enough to see she was upset about something. She could not duck out of this. She might as well talk to him about it. It could even make me feel better…
"Sano…does Kenshin…I mean, does he…would…well…" Kaoru chewed on her lip nervously. Maybe this was not such a good idea. She glanced up at Sanosuke. He was waiting patiently. She took a deep breath. Oh, out with it! "What does Kenshin think of me?" she blurted. There. It was out. No turning back now.
Sanosuke took a deep breath. "Well, I think you'd have to ask him about that."
"I know…" Kaoru said quietly.
"Is this what's got you so worked up? Is it Kenshin?" Sanosuke's continence turned sly. "Is there something going on between you guys that I should know about?"
Kaoru shook her head. "No…nothing like that…it's just…." She could not bring herself to admit anything.
Sanosuke scooted a bit closer and put his arm around her shoulder. "C'mon, Jou-chan. You can tell me anything. Please?" Kaoru looked into his eyes. It was either the alcohol talking, or he honestly wanted to help her out. She sighed again.
"Today…today's my birthday…"
He leaned back and looked at her again. "Well, happy birthday!" he said happily. "Why didn't you say anything?" Kaoru felt uneasy. "What, do you think you're old or something?"
"It's not that…it's just…well…I'm so young," she admitted. She was not feeling well.
Sanosuke was confused. "You're not that young…you're, what, eighteen? It's young, yes, but not that much younger than me or anything. Why does this bug you? It's not like you're Yahiko."
Kaoru turned to face him. He had a point. Sanosuke was nineteen. They were nearly the same age. She did not consider him to be a child. She did not even consider Yahiko a child all the time.
"But…Kenshin's not nineteen!" she declared. Sanosuke jumped back in surprise. She immediately felt herself blush.
He finally understood. "So that's what's got you down. You think Kenshin won't want to be with you or anything since you're younger than he is…am I right?"
Kaoru nodded sadly. "I'm just a child to him."
"Well, first off, I know Kenshin doesn't think of you as a child. Hell, you run your own house and take care of us all! You've got your kendo and your dojo…he respects you for it. That means something to you, doesn't it?" Kaoru nodded again. "And frankly, I don't think Kenshin really gives a damn about people's ages. He hangs out with all of us, right? We're all younger than he is, you know."
"But…"
"And he really doesn't care. Not even Yahiko. He was the brat's age when he was training and stuff, wasn't he?"
Kaoru gazed into her empty cup. "I guess you're right."
"'Course I'm right." Sanosuke leaned against the wall again. " 'Age ain't nothing but a number,' ne?"
She smiled. "Right. Arigatou, Sano." He did have some good points. Kenshin was a hitokiri at age fifteen. He was on his own, traveling at eighteen. It is very likely that he still sees eighteen as adulthood. Kaoru smiled again. "Domo."
Sanosuke stretched his arms. "And if he doesn't see you as a woman yet, then his loss." Kaoru felt her face color again. She giggled to herself at his compliment. She watched him start to stand up. "Now, birthday girl…er, birthday lady…let's get you back to bed." He helped her to her feet. Kaoru looked at the dishes still out but decided she would leave them for the morning. Sanosuke took her arm and slowly escorted her back to her room.
Kaoru was suddenly very tired. She yawned. The door to her room was still open, and her blankets were a mess. She was slightly embarrassed to have Sanosuke see her room like that, but she got over it. She turned back to Sanosuke. "Well, thanks again, Sano. I appreciate it."
"No problem. Don't worry so much, though, ok?" He smiled. "You'll make yourself sick."
Kaoru smiled. "Hey, would you like a room? You can use one of the spare rooms. Here, let me get you a futon." Kaoru turned to return down the hall. Sanosuke grabbed her arm. "Oh no you don't, birthday lady." He moved her to her doorway. "I'll manage. I'd ask to share yours, but…" Kaoru's jaw dropped. "Futons in the storage room, right?"
Kaoru gaped. "Y-yeah…but…"
"I'm set." He smiled again.
Kaoru hesitated, but let it go. She was too drained to argue. That, and Sanosuke's peculiar behavior was making her nervous. She remembered his inebriated state and shrugged it off. "Ok…oyasumi…"
He kissed her forehead. "Sleep good…See you in the morning, Jou-chan." Kaoru entered her room and slid the door shut. She waited, and when she heard his footsteps retreat down the hall she returned to the mess of her bedding. Her fingers drifted to her forehead, and she smiled. He's such a charmer when he's had too much to drink…I think… She yawned again. She picked her blanket up, carried it to her futon, sat down and rearranged the linens.
Kaoru felt a bit of relief. Sano's right she thought. Do I really need to worry so much? Is it really such a big deal? Maybe it would all blow over in the morning. She pulled the blankets up to her chin, then slowly drifted off to sleep.
To Be Concluded…