Disclaimer: I only own Buffy's family, excluding Joyce.
Previously: Spike told Buffy about Denise being pregnant and she took it surprisingly well. Willow has discovered Buffy's relationship with Spike after finding them in bed together and Jack is at odds with Jim about Buffy.
A/N: Um...yeah...and you guys are wondering why I haven't updated this in like a month aren't you? Well, I have a good excuse. Anyone ever had their computer totally and completely break down? Yeah, that would be me. I've never seen anything like it. The whole system crashed.
(---)
"It's weird," Willow commented. Buffy glanced up at her. She dropped the necklace from Spike that she had been fingering gently. The gold felt so soft under her fingertips and the triquetra and rose were gentle edges as she brushed across them.
"What is?"
"You know, you and Spike," Willow replied, "I thought you were through with vampires? After, um, Angel left." The redhead watched her friend stare into space. Buffy definitely seemed out there today--maybe it was the fact that things seemed to have jumped to a new level between her and Spike. Willow could tell the vampire had been surprised and happy when Buffy had declared them as to having a relationship. She was about to urge her friend to speak, when Buffy began.
"Spike...he's so different from Angel. Angel was...I don't know how to describe him..."
"How about darkly handsome?" Willow offered.
"Exactly. Angel was artistic...god, I loved him so much...he meant the world to me," Buffy continued.
"I remember. You were head-over-heels for him for like three years," Willow agreed.
"Yeah," Buffy stared again, "he was so special. I'll never love anyone like I loved him...hell, I still love him."
(--)
All it took were four words to shatter Spike's entire existence. He ducked away from the doorway and sidled down stairs. The room looked so cheery--to his displeasure. He stared at the Christmas decorations he had hung up with Grandpa Jack.
"Hell, I still love him." Buffy's declaration resounded in his head. She still loved him...she never mentioned anything about loving Spike--but the vampire knew he'd have to wait to get an admittance like that from the Slayer.
Still, the pain that has settled in his heart since the last time he'd overheard one of her conversations was starting to shift. His chest constricted and tightened, leaving him breathless and hurting. Which was, you know, kind of weird, considering her didn't have to breathe and all.
"You're just out of sorts, man," Spike whispered to himself. He rubbed his eyes as he sat down on the bed. The days had just tired him out--Buffy's family was enough of a painful hassle--but the thing he had with the Slayer herself was just too much for one vampire to bear.
"It doesn't have to be this hard, you know." Spike looked up into the eyes of Joyce, standing over him, her hands clasped in front of her.
"What doesn't?" Spike inquired, leaning back against the cool stone.
"This tryst--with Buffy--," Joyce explained, she moved to the side of the bed, "may I sit?"
Spike frowned up at her for a moment, then looked down and realized he was taking up a good portion of the cot where he and Buffy slept. He squirmed over a bit so she could sit down beside him. She paused for a moment before beginning again, turning her body towards him.
"Buffy isn't exactly the easiest person in the world to understand. So, as a word of advice from a loyal and loving relative, don't try. Trust me you'll give yourself a headache trying to figure my daughter out. Just go with the flow. Let Buffy call the punches and you'll be just fine," Joyce advised, "if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch to prepare."
(--)
"What about Spike? Do you love his as much as you loved Angel?" Willow asked, watching her friend carefully. It wasn't as if she thought Buffy was crazy, she just wanted to make sure.
Buffy shrugged--despite the smile-- refusing to stay hidden--that was creeping across her mouth. She fiddled with the chain around her neck--letting the gold slide through her fingertips.
"Aha!" Willow exclaimed, pointing at Buffy, "I knew it! You can't hide it from me! I knew it!"
"Shh! Willow, I don't want anyone finding out!" Buffy slapped her hand against her friend's mouth, "You won't tell anyone will you?" Willow shook her head, "Spike can't know." The redhead nodded vigorously. Slowly, Buff released her hand.
"I knew it," Willow whispered feverishly, "What are you gonna tell Spike?" She asked leaning in closer to her friend.
"I don't know," Buffy said honestly, "I don't know if he feels the same way...and I don't want to make a fool of myself if I say something and he doesn't, you know?"
"Totally," Willow agreed, nodding again.
"I'll pick up on hints once in a while...but nothing screams 'Spike Loves Buffy' at me in big flashing lights," Buffy continued.
"Maybe you're looking too hard. Maybe you just have to let go of your inhibitions and be yourself--like you were with Angel," Willow suggested.
"But with Angel things were so easy--I mean, obviously not the Him-turning-evil-and-trying-to-end-the-world-while-I-had-to-kill-him part--but the being with him. I knew he loved the first time we kissed. With Spike, it's hard to tell if he's loving or lusting."
"You know, I bet the reason you can't figure it out is because you've thought of his as evil for three years--one weekend is not exactly a large amount of time--and even though you guys are making with the great strides towards a decent romantic relationship--and even though you may have come to potentially love him--your subconscious still classifies him as a bloodsucking fiend who tried to kill you on numerous occasions before this weekend. Those things are hard to change," Willow explained.
"You're probably right. But I hate thinking of Spike as a killer. I know that's what he was but it's not who he is. And a week ago I never would have said this--even if I was under another Wedding-Spell," Buffy said.
Willow looked away, ashamed, "I really am sorry about that. I didn't mean to get you guys hurt or anything, I--."
"Willow, forget it. It's in the past. We've all had magical mishaps in this line of work. Between the two of us though, now, I'm kind of glad you did that--at least I realized how nice it felt to be held by him--and trust me, it's was like Heaven."
Willow giggled as Buffy smiled. They loved to talk like this. Buffy missed her long conversations during study hall with Willow. They only really had Psychology with Willow this. Professor Walsh was way cool and all but Buffy usually ended up falling asleep in the class--so it didn't exactly give her and Wills a lot of time to chat, or even pass notes.
They were roommates but Willow was spending an awful lot of time in the Chem. Lab working on her spells. And she and Tara had Wicca group to go to. Plus, when Buffy and Riley had been dating, Buffy'd spent almost every moment with him or patrolling or saving the world...again. So, they sat, engrossed in their conversation. Two friends--unknowingly divulging information--incorrect information--to the man-pire they were discussing.
Spike remained, thinking her words over for another couple of hours. It was almost dark by the time Buffy came down--Willow in tow--calling him for patrol. She kissed him quickly, and then blushed when Willow smiled.
After dusting three vampires--Buffy using barely an effort--Willow decided to head home--saying she'd see Buffy in the morning as they were going to begin planning New Year's Eve. Buffy wanted a big party--her family and friends together--preferably demon-free--with the exceptions of Anya and Spike.
"I don't see why we need a big party?" Spike commented, while he and Buffy walked hand-in-hand back to her house.
"Because, Spike, big parties mean big fun. And this Slayer needs a lot of big fun right now," Buffy replied.
"It'll just end up like Thanksgiving did, you know that, Pet," Spike stated, his voice almost singsong-y.
Buffy frowned, "will not. Besides, Willow's making sure that no demon spirits can attack us because we killed all their people. She's getting really good with magic, you know?"
"I figured. A protection spell like the one you're suggesting will take an awful lot of mojo. You sure she's up to it?" Spike warned.
"Were you even there when she re-cursed Angel? And Giles says that takes a lot of power and really good control over it too. Will's ready, she just needs a test," Buffy said.
"And I suppose you want to be the one to test her? Is that it?" Spike asked. Buffy leaned into him.
"Well, yeah. I am her best friend. Why shouldn't I be the one to test her?"
Spike raised an eyebrow at his little Slayer. She looked innocent in her confusion. He chuckled a bit, making her see that he didn't think her a fool just a little foolish.
"That's not the point, Pet. You want to test your friend's magic powers--this barrier will be the perfect thing--but what if she can't do it? She'll be upset and so will you because your party will be ruined--this'll make her upset even more because you're upset and then you'll get upset because she's upset. It's all a vicious cycle that would be all the better if you just don't try and 'test' her. If you ask her to do it--no holds barred--she'll probably end up doing a bang up job--but if you put the pressure on...it's easier when you're not trying to impress someone." Spike explained.
"I don't get it though, Willow wants some stimulation," Buffy complained.
"But she doesn't need pressure," Spike countered. Buffy stay silent for a minute--a great feat in the ways of Buffy Summers--her brow wrinkled in thought. Finally, she relaxed and smiled.
"You're right," she said. They continued their walk along the sidewalk of Sunnydale, Buffy gazing in the windows at the pretty things. She looked beautiful--even though the cold air had turned the very tip of her nose a bright red. Spike grinned. Her turtle-neck showed above her coat--hiding the vast expense of her neck and the heavily beating vein there--but Spike knew her blood was pumping madly. His nose perked up--a scent he wasn't unfamiliar with--having spent a lot of time around humans--it smelled like she was catching a cold.
"We should get you back, Pet," Spike sighed. He didn't feel much like returning to the Summers' house. Whenever he did so, he always overheard bad things when he was there recently. But Buffy needed to be warm and in bed or she could get really sick.
"Why?" she inquired, dragging her eyes away from the clothes in the window of April Fools to stare at his chiseled vampire features.
"'Cause, Pet, you're getting sick. I can smell it," Spike replied. His frustration flared a little when she questioned him.
"Smell it? How can you smell a cold?" she asked. He gritted his teeth, she was definitely the most stubborn person her knew--except for himself of course.
He pointed to himself, "Vampire, remember?"
Buffy mimicked his action, "Slayer, remember? I don't get colds; my high level immunities keep me safe and up to full Slayer strength."
"Please. Even you aren't good enough to not catch colds," Spike replied.
Buffy moped as he dragged her home--she knew he was right but she'd much rather have stayed out in the cold air than go back to the Hell-On-Earth that was the Slayer's home. He pushed her through the front door--it was past eleven--which meant that the kids would be in bed--and Joyce would become Pissed-Off-Mom if they woke them up.
So, Spike closed the door as quietly as he could behind him and pulled the Slayer down into the basement. He stripped off his duster and made her get into her pajamas--as his back was turned--they he tucked her into bed and pulled the covers up around her throat.
"It's a good thing I love you--or I might have to kill you for being so stubborn," Spike kissed her forehead softly. He walked away, up to the top of the stairs. Only then did he realize what he'd divulged.
"Oh, bloody hell!" He yelled slamming the basement door as hard as he could. From the upstairs, he could hear the voices of angry parents. Judy and Joan both started screaming at the top of their lungs how someone could be so rude as too wake the children with their LOUD noises.
"Damn it, Spike!" Joyce yelled, adding to the noise.
"Sorry!" Spike apologized loudly. He cursed himself silently for making the noise.
(--)
Buffy lay still, frozen, the covers still pulled close to her face. And even though Spike's lips had been freezing on her forehead--the kiss had left her burning. She blinked a few times--making sure she hadn't drifted off. Because if she was clear--Spike had said he loved her--and that didn't exactly happen everyday.
Her heart beat at an incredible rate and her stomach was fluttering, she thought she might die. And as the realization hit her she suddenly felt incredible calm. That's probably because I'm getting sick. Stupid Spike was right. Damn loveable vampires!
To Be Continued in Chapter 12: Sleep In Heavenly Peace...
In the coming chapters:
Buffy gets sick...
A car crash...
Another snow storm...
A fight...
And a hospital room...