A/n: It's funny. There's such a drastic mood difference between this story and YOLT, that I have to take a day or two in between trying to write either update to get my head in the right place. I don't think that I'll be trying to do anything like that, again. (Updating two different stories at the same time, that is…)

But, well, here it is, people. The last chapter. Well, one of them, anyhow. This is the "bad ending". Basically—pure angst. The next chapter is the "good" ending, but is still not all flowers and sunshine. Ah well.

Time for my final thanks—Dibsthe1, Maran Zelde, Spectacal, Only a Handful of Time, and The Fic Lord. You all rock.

Disclaimer: I don't own Zim. Duh.

PART ELEVEN

I had the sense that the Brains, in all of their putrid, pulsating glory, were smiling at me with sick satisfaction as they praised my "worthiness" as I stood facing them, my chin held high with a kind of stubborn pride. I wiped my hands on my pants, aggravated at the fact that, though I knew there was nothing on them, I could still feel some sort of grime that just wouldn't come off, no matter how hard I tried. My mind was full of chaos, voices screaming, demanding that I give their deaths some kind of meaning; to attack and destroy the Brains and the Tallests now, when they weren't expecting it. However, my overstated curiosity won out and I did just what my enemy predicted by opening my mouth and asking a question.

"Worthy of what?"

The Brains seemed to chuckle, "Worthy, of course, of being the first of your people to witness the dawning of a new era—it is no coincidence that the great Irken race have come to this small planet. We have not only conquered a planet consisting mostly of our greatest weakness, but have enslaved it's extremely tall inhabitants. By achieving thus, the Irkens shall grow stronger; more powerful. And you, Human Dib—you are to thank for it all."

I was growing irritated at the speech, and uncomfortable under the glares of the Tallests, who remained silent as their leader gloated. "What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded.

"It is you, Human, who have called to us. It is you who brought this small, pitiful planet to our attention. You are responsible for the fall of your people, and the rise of ours."

Nothing was making sense. How could I be the one who brought Earth to the Irkens' attention? Zim was the one who was sent to conquer it, and when he was, they didn't even know for sure that there was a planet out here. I voiced these thoughts to the Brains who let out another wave of condescension.

"How sad it is," the Brains mused, "to find a species of creatures so tall, yet so ignorant to the universe around them." The Tallests began to sicker. I sent them a look that would have caused their heads to explode, had I telekinetic powers. "However," the Brains continued, causing the Tallests' mirth to cease, "we shall humor you this time, Human, and explain to you what the rest of your species will never discover: the universe as a whole is a collective unit. What happens on one end of the galaxy, after a time, will come to affect the other end. For example--the shock wave produced by a star exploding will destroy every planet in the vicinity until becoming weak enough that it will only cause a minor earthquake on a planet on the direct opposite end of the universe. It may not have much of an affect, but it will still exist.

"Much like every planet is connected, so are the minds of every creature in the universe. We are all linked together, our thoughts overlapping, silent voices traveling hundreds of miles, jumping from mind to mind, trying to find someone who will listen. Most creatures' brains are, on average, the same size, and therefore are not equipped to produce the energy needed to hear these distant thoughts—or to produce an energy wave strong enough for others to hear. However, there are some exceptions, Ourselves being one. We consist of only brain matter, and therefore are able to both receive and transmit these signals, enabling Us to control Our vast empire."

"That's very nice, but what does it all have to do with me?" I demanded. My hands were beginning to sting from the constant friction as I rubbed them against my pants, but still that feeling would not go away.

"You have an abnormally large head for a human, do you not?" The Brains asked. The familiar protest that my head was not big rose in my throat, the result of years of conditioning, however, this time I kept mouth shut. Now was not the time be distracted by my own ranting.

The Brains took my silence an agreement and continued, "An abnormally large head to, perhaps, encase an abnormally large brain?"

I felt my eyes grow wide as what the Brains were insinuating finally began to sink in. If a larger brain meant a greater ability to receive and transmit signals across space, did that mean…

"You were able to hear my thoughts?" I breathed, sudden horror overwhelming me.

"Exactly. That is how we knew there was a planet out here, beyond our vast knowledge of space. We heard your thoughts and were amazed that there was a creature in this galaxy who felt such utter revulsion towards his own species. We knew that this was something great—a creature who would sacrifice everything to reach its own selfish, prideful goal."

What sort of trickery was this? Revulsion towards my own species? My own selfish goal? What were the Brains getting at? I felt a familiar anger grow inside of me.

"I don't understand what you're talking about," I shouted "I was trying to save mankind, not damn it!"

"Did you not rise yourself above the level of the average human? Did you not see mankind as a lame horse, begging to be put out of its misery?" The Brains demanded, "You can lie with your words, Human, but your thoughts betray you. You play at being the martyr, when in reality, you are nothing but a conceited elitist, selfishly fighting for the recognition you feel you so righteously deserve."

"You're wrong," I growled, spitting the words between clenched teeth.

"Are we?"

With that question, the walls of the room wavered and shifted, as my senses were assaulted by a barrage of images and words. Scenes from my past played before me, my own thoughts and statements; inner monologues kept not so inner echoing in my ears: biting my tongue to keep back admissions of hate at my mother's grave, my lack of remorse at watching my father's execution, making love to Kala on the floor of the gym, heedless of the death that was going on outside in the world around us.

"This is my fight, not yours."

I clutched my head in my hands, my eyes shut tight, my hands over my ears, trying to keep the information out. Still it played within my mind, the backs of my eyelids serving as projection screens, my eardrums performing the duties of speakers.

"You see?! Actual proof that all the things I've been saying are actually right! Finally, a way to prove that I'm that I'm…"

"I think I've exposed enough to you, Kala, haven't I?"

My own voice, my own words, my own damnation.

"On one hand, I'll be saving myself, on the other, I'd be saving…them."

"Do you want me to coddle you and hold your hand? Cos it's not going to help, Gaz, it just won't. You're 18 years old, damn it; it's time for you to realize that not everything is going to go your way! Our mother killed herself, our father doesn't love us, and Zim is the bad guy. Just fuckin' accept it, already!"

There was nothing I could do to stop the images from coming. I felt my knees grow weak as I lowered myself to the floor, still clutching my head, shaking it from side to side like a dog, trying to make it stop. A low moan escaped my lips.

"You guys are just begging in to meet the moose!"

"Sometimes I just think that it's not worth it, Gaz, ya know? Sometimes I just…don't want to care."

I could hear the Tallests' mocking laughter as I suffered. As much as I tried to fight it, the realization that the Brains were right was pushing at my brain—I had caused this. I was the reason that my civilization had fallen. I was the reason that everyone I cared about was dead. That was why my hands felt dirty—they were saturated in blood, not only from those I had killed myself, but with that from the entire human race. I was the monster, not Zim, not the Brains, not the hairy kid next door; me.

"SEE? I TOLD you they were coming! I TOLD you this was going to happen, but did you believe me?! You DESERVE your fates, you ignorant FOOLS!"

"Because I know that I'm going to win, Kala. Everyone just probably will die before I do. As for hope, it's they're own faults for believing in something so asinine to begin with, not mine for allowing them an excuse to believe."

I couldn't take it any longer, "ENOUGH!" I shouted, the force of the word seeming to rip the lining from my throat. Instantly the images stopped, the room fading back into its metallic normalcy. I lay in a pitiful heap at the Tallests' feet, curled into myself like a fetus, tears and snot running down my face in rivers. My glasses were fogged over, and I had handfuls of my own hair clenched in my fists, but I didn't care. I was a fraud. Everything I had worked for had only caused what I was trying to prevent. What did it matter anymore? What did it even matter to begin with?

"Do you understand, now, Dib?" The brains asked, their voice calming, soothing. "Do you understand what you did?" The voice seemed to change then, other voices joining it, different tones, pitches, and inflections merged together, forming a bitter and eerie harmony. I could pick out the familiar sounds of Zim, Gaz, Kala, my mother. "DO you understand what you are? Do you understand what you have to do?"

I did. I understood all too well. My hand moved on its own accord, reaching for my handgun; forgotten and abandoned during my scuffle with Zim, it lay beside my former nemesis' corpse. It was cold and heavy in my hands as I raised it to my lips.

In a moment, the barrel rested on my tongue. With a click, the bullet rested in my brain. With a thud, my body rested on the ground. And somewhere, there was laughter.

FIN

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A/n: So how many of you hate me, now?